Do I Dare?

L

Laggy Lagiacrus

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Original poster
A while back, I went to counselling. For... reasons. During the course of it, I was asked to speak to a member of staff who specialised in working with people who have autism. Long story short, I took a test, I spent time with that staff member, and I attended some meetings. And, in her opinion, there's a strong chance that I've got autism.
I've no reason to dispute her claims, given that she works with autistic people as a job, and I've seen the signs as well. Thing is, I haven't gotten a diagnosis yet. It's not that it'd be particularly difficult - I just have to speak to my local GP, and I just have to follow whatever instructions come next. The problem's in whether I should get one or not.

See, if I do get one, and it turns out I do have autism, I can get support from professionals and assistance wherever possible. I'll have access to resources that could possibly make it seem like I don't have it at all. Problem is, if I do have it, that goes on records. People know about that. Not everybody, mind, but employers and such'll know. And it doesn't matter how little it affects me, a condition's a condition.

On the other hand, if I keep it hidden, I can just live like I always have. Keeping everything secret, just pretending to be a bit odd. And maybe I just am. Maybe it's not autism, and I'm just weird like that. But what if it isn't? Nobody has to know. Word may get out if I'm diagnosed. I don't know how, but it could. But if I just carry on like normal, I could just blend into the crowd.

I want closure, but at the same time, the closure could be a massive roadblock. Or maybe I'm over-complicating things, or worrying too much. I don't know, I just want to know if I should get tested or not.
 
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Hey Laggy, It's wonderful to see you around the forum!

Turns out Autism, has a fuck ton of levels in severity and what suffers from the autism. I have a story that might help you.
My bother Kevin was not talking and by the age of 3 my parents were concerned, the doctors diagnosed him as mentally challenged but may parents got a second opinion from an older more experienced doctor and that Doctor Diagnosed My brother as Autistic. He explained to us that If we were to let Kevin be diagnosed as only mentally challenged he would not receive ALL the facilities he needed to learn , live, and succeed in life. Thankfully Kevin started talking at the age of 7, he was playing video games and kicking my ass in soul caliber by 13, and Now at 22 he has a job and has graduated from high school. He still can't speak too well, but Kevin is a completely functioning happy adult and all because he got that proper Healthcare and Diagnosis from an early age. The end.

Laggy, the way you are, is always going to be the way you are. You are already special as an individual and no diagnosis is going to change that. If you have a professional leaning towards autism, the help for you would be endless. No matter what you will always be the same ol' Laggy we know and Love, with or without help or Autism. I don't think you should deny yourself this opportunity, because autism comes in ALLLLLL shapes and sizes. It could very well be a cocktail of things, but getting diagnosed is that first step to getting help you need, meeting others just like yourself, and furthering an understanding for yourself. Don't be afraid of change.(easier said than done, but you walk away from change stronger)

In the end, this is a big thing to consider, the choice is all up to you, and no matter what you decide, you'll have my support.
 
I suppose maybe I should get diagnosed. She's already said that if I do have it, it's most likely high-functioning autism, so it shouldn't make too much of an impact if I get the right help. I'm just scared of what people will think, you know? I know it might sound cynical, but people are going to judge me if word gets out that I'm autistic. Not here, I know that much. But employers, friends, peers - I'm scared they'll look at me differently. I know my family won't change too much if they find out, but they can be heavy-handed with some things without even realising it, and I don't want to snap at them without them doing anything to deserve it.

I know I can get help if it I'm diagnosed, but I'm scared. Maybe I should be, maybe I shouldn't. Either way, like you said, it's a big thing.
 
pssssst. If friends do start think differently if they find out and start treating you in a way that's uncomfortable....then they aren't worth your attention. As for family, just make sure they understand it all. Family should always stick together.
 
yea, word of mouth can be daunting on us. Just remember if anyone fires you for your autism, sue their ass. I'm not even joking. Make sure you discuss your rights and lawful procedures with this professional that has diagnosed you....maybe find some autism forum and see what other people in your position are saying an feeling.
 
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@LunaValentine: But that's the thing. These people have seen me through thick and thin, and I've known some of them for years. I can't just let them go with a snap of my fingers, those people are my friends. I understand that being around them is unhealthy if they change how they treat me, but they're still my friends.

@Fijoli: I suppose discussing legal things is a good start, but what about actually getting hired? Chances are, a lot of people with better qualifications are always going to be applying for a job that I want, and saying I'm autistic - no matter what level of it I am - isn't exactly going to get me their favour. I mean, do people really have to know?
Maybe I should speak to others with experience in this, like you said. I'm still wondering why nobody suspected anything up until now.
 
You have to do some research on these sides of it. Like any big choices we make in our lives we should consider as many options as possible, like I said, talk to people who have been through this already and those questions will get answered.

If it helps my brother kevin loves video games, and he is not as high functioning as most but he doesn't have fits or anything like that. His schooling and government aid helped him find a job he liked. He works in the electronics section at Walmart and helps people find the products they are looking for.

Kevin's autism is severe enough that he can't ever live alone.

These government aids will help you, first step is discussing it with the person who is diagnosing you.
Maybe a second opinion from a seperate doctor might help you feel more sure.


But I highly suggest the autism forum, get in touch with a group of people that have been through this here are a few that kevin has read through, sometimes just reading through is enough. I understand the introvertness, so at least look through you don't have to join.

I do however suggest you join so that you may ask your questions and get the answers you need.

Here ya go laggy

http://www.autismhangout.com/forum/topic.asp?TOPIC_ID=427


https://www.aspiescentral.com


http://www.autismspeaks.org/site-wide/high-functioning-autism

These are just a few of many autism and Aspergers communities, these people will be able to help you much more, the chances of you finding another in a similar situation for advice is extremely high on these support forums, kevin and I read through them often. If I come across anything that strikes me as similar to you I will link you right away!
 
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This seriously means so much to me. I've been getting help and talking to people, but they're all about my age, so talking to people who've got more experience with this sort of thing's really going to help. Again, thanks so much for this.
 
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@LunaValentine: But that's the thing. These people have seen me through thick and thin, and I've known some of them for years. I can't just let them go with a snap of my fingers, those people are my friends. I understand that being around them is unhealthy if they change how they treat me, but they're still my friends.

Okay, then have a serious talk with them. After all they're your friends through thick and thin yeah? They should understand that you don't want to be treated different right?
 
Okay, then have a serious talk with them. After all they're your friends through thick and thin yeah? They should understand that you don't want to be treated different right?
I guess so. It's just, how do you confront someone you've known for years about something this big, when you don't even fully understand what's going on?
 
I guess so. It's just, how do you confront someone you've known for years about something this big, when you don't even fully understand what's going on?

Good news is you don't need to have the conversation yet. My advice? Look up some stuff, talk to your doctor, and eventually find the time to say "Hey, I got something I gotta tell you about." I mean I don't entirely know how to handle it either but the best way to start is educating yourself. For now, just breathe. You can tell people in your own time.
 
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That's probably my best bet. This is waay bigger thn me right now, I need some time to focus.
 
Yea don't overwhelm yourself, my advice for you right now, is baby steps, go at your own pace with this one.

But even if you have to tip toe your way there, take the steps in communicating with others.

You will be just fine, you got this!

Fijo <3
 
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Honey, if its true don't let it rule your life and don't let it be an excuse. Your legs still work and so do your arms you'll be ok. You wrote a paragraph here. You seem plenty functional to me and doctors are jerks so... Yeah just brush it off.
 
Honey, if its true don't let it rule your life and don't let it be an excuse. Your legs still work and so do your arms you'll be ok. You wrote a paragraph here. You seem plenty functional to me and doctors are jerks so... Yeah just brush it off.

The autism itself isn't really the problem here. I've lived with it my entire life - and, as it's high-functioning, it doesn't even make that big of an impact. The problem lies in how other people'll react to knowing I'm autistic, if it turns out that I am. I want to believe they won't care and that it won't affect how they treat me, but I'm not nearly optimistic enough to think that way.

Also, can I ask how that comment about doctors came about? I don't see how it's relevant at all.
 
The autism itself isn't really the problem here. I've lived with it my entire life - and, as it's high-functioning, it doesn't even make that big of an impact. The problem lies in how other people'll react to knowing I'm autistic, if it turns out that I am. I want to believe they won't care and that it won't affect how they treat me, but I'm not nearly optimistic enough to think that way.

Also, can I ask how that comment about doctors came about? I don't see how it's relevant at all.

Oops sorry about that, I don't know what's up with me today. I kind of just scanned your original post. I didn't get a lot of sleep last night. I really shouldn't post when I'm tired. Anyway mental illness is pretty heavily stigmatized and medications will often only lead to worse ends. I'm a little biased when it comes to doctors. I feel like the business aspect of most clinics outweighs the actually helping people portion. The number of misdiagnosis' that pass through the system is astounding. Look into autism a little yourself. If after doing some research you are convinced a doctor might be able to help in some way and it might be worth you time feel free to look into it. No one has to know you have autism either if you get diagnosed. It will be on your medical records but privacy laws prevent it from being spread around. If you aren't really experiencing any issues functioning though I wouldn't bother.
 
You cannot let the business aspect of the health industry keep you from seeking help if you want/need it. I agree in the sense that you should take your time and really do your research on it, but don't let the stigma that society places of the medical field rue your own life choices. I have known plenty of people to have sought and received the proper help they needed. I think Robin' lover is just trying to say , "be careful" and "Protect yourself" which is also good advice.

You can never be too careful.