Do Girls Like Bad Boys?

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R

Razilin

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Original poster
I know quite a few men--all bad boys--who believe this.

Given that I've dated quite a few quality girls by sheer virtue of being nice, gentlemanly, cheerful, humorous, and conversationally engaging, I find the whole bad boy phenomenon freakishly unusual. Most times, I don't even have to use the physician card. I do, however, use the "I'm awesome with kids" card, especially if the woman in question has a tyke of her own. And yes, I'm at an age where dating a mother is actually normal.

So, I have a theory.

Women don't want bad boys. Women want confident men.

Let's face it. Those bad boys are outwardly tough, powerful, and generally appear capable. They're CONFIDENT.

But you know what? So. Am. I. And most of the people I work with? Totally married. The younger ones in their thirties (holy shit, I think 30s are young....)? Totally sleeping with ludiciously hot blondes and brunes. By and large, most of them are nice. All of them are intelligent and acocmplished. Except for the one standing at 5'2", none of them ride motorcycles. And the 5'2" guy is riding the motorcycle and owns a yacht for a reason other than pussy magnet, if you catch my drift.

Basically, women want men, not boys. They want a man who appears to know what he's doing, who does not shirk from challenge, who strides with one foot in front of the other without hesitation. The bad boys--and I emphasize boys, because really, its an immature archetype--know this instinctively. I think the nice men out there need to learn it.

Boys, grow up.

Men, take heed.

Ladies, discuss.
 
It's definitely true. I'm extremely laid back, but I've been told in Ohio that some guys were afraid to really get to know me because they thought I was too confident in myself. Which is bull because if you get to know me, I feel clueless and twerpish all the time. the difference, though, is that I like having fun. And if you get in my way, I'm gonna fucking steamroll you with hugs. But guys get afraid of me, because I'm not afraid to shout random shit stupidly at the end of the movies, therefore causing a HUGE outbreak of laughter, or to go into a park and to help the kids and their parents, or to make cleaning a movie theatre fun for the employees.

Basically, I'm just hedonistic about fun, and I love everyone, but I hate when guys go like the example I'm about to show. It breaks my heart and I just wanna give them a hug while saying "no".

"Hey.... So.... You're from Texas..... Ahhhh..... ummmm..... Wanna go see "Insert movie name here"?... I... hear it's... fun..."

Worse example? When a guy has ever lost enough confidence to do this, it just fucking angers me. Especially when alcohol is dragged into the mix.

"Hey.... my friend over there thinks that you and your friend are kinda cute, wanna...."

Yeah, Seriously.

Reason why I date Ryker?

1. When I'm with him, I feel like he takes control sometimes, and that he's beyond confident of himself.

Even if it's not true, it's the feeling that's expressed that matters. Even body language helps! If a guy wants to convey confidence, walk without slouching, don't drag your feet and LOOK PEOPLE IN THE GODDAMNED EYES.
 
i know i'm not a female, but i've always found that having a confident badass exterior always catches the interest of the ladies and then i soften up the more we get to know each other. never really failed.
 
marius said:
i know i'm not a female, but i've always found that having a confident badass exterior always catches the interest of the ladies and then i soften up the more we get to know each other. never really failed.
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That's just my point. Keep the confident, lose the badass and you still get the same result! See?
 
Oniisama~ I just thought of something.

If a guy acts confident, smirks and does risky things like breaking the rules or being tough with someone, but is still a good person at heart~ I would put him in the "badboy" category. If he has a "badboy" attitude, but he isn't really a badboy, he still cuts it!

Like the guy I like right now, he's totally confident and he totally tells people off when he needs to. If someone challenges him to arm wrestling or a card game or something, he totally takes them on and WINS ~ most of the time. So he's strong, he's funny, and he's straight out there, but he can also be sweet. I think I like him because he's powerful, but kind.

Razilin said:
Keep the confident, lose the badass and you still get the same result! See?
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YUSH :D I see!
 
to butcher a quote and use it to my own ends
"Confidence is a virtue, but too much Confidence is Arrogance"

and i fear crossing that line.
 
Well said Raz haha there was a Cracked artcile that talked about the same dealio as this.
 
I noticed that girls stopped going for bad boys when they turn 20, w/c is usually the 3rd year of college here where they start their thesis/OJT.

Maturity comes with age(most of the time). Most of the assholes/bullies in my high school became much much nicer and less asshole-y, but never lost the confidence that made them popular back in the day. Most of them were my friends back then, so nothing really changed between us.

As for me, I'm still doing the bad-influence-but-really-a-nice-guy thing. I'd have them cut class to have dates with me, I bring alcohol to school and drink with them in the drafting room, I sneak in the enemy university's foreign exchange student dorms etc.

I don't do any of these things to impress anyone, I do it because it's fun to do and because I have both thrill and commitment issues.


tl;dr: Listen to Raz. Be confident, not arrogant.
 
Orochi's right. Most of the girl's I've date tend to be in their mid-20s. I've never bothered pretending to be bad ass, exception being RPs, in the real world and it's worked fine for me. And taking TK's advice into account, I always look forward and am somewhat aggressive looking because I rarely show any form of emotion because that's just the way I am. The only down side is that people tend to believe I am some kind of militaristic crab ass at times.
 
you mean you're not rory? lol

thats generally along the lines i run too orochi. occasionally i throw in a little cockyness if i feel bad for my friend (he's pretty socially inept) and act the asshole to make him look better.

Q: Ladies, good or bad wingman move?
 
Bad move. Girls don't like it when your friends are assholes. D: You inevitably share friends when you date someone. And only a bitch is gonna go "Choose me or your friend."
 
last time i tried to be generally confidant i got carried away and became an arrogant self righteous dickhead.
call me stupid, but i will not risk that happening again, ive worked to ahrd to change myself from that.
 
Diana Notacat said:
Bad move. Girls don't like it when your friends are assholes. D: You inevitably share friends when you date someone. And only a bitch is gonna go "Choose me or your friend."
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wow, that means half the girls i've met are total bitches.
 
Half may be bitches, but all girls a manipulative! Even if they don't know it. Its genetic. =D
 
Very true raz, I tend to come off as very brusque to those who try that sort of thing with me.
 
Hmm yes Raz that's pretty true. I hang out with girls and generally only girls often so I KNOW MANY OF THEIR TRICKS!!! Anywho continue! :D
 
I don't think I'm ready to give up my badboy style...
 
That is interesting...What about Ampie? She's like the ultimate tsundere tomboy out there..
 
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