Differences in Roleplay?

Astrometry

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So, I have a few issues lately with my partner and I do not know how to fix them. We are slightly different in the way we approach our roleplay posts. I am an advanced writer, and I love to write about my characters thoughts, their feels with descriptive exposition and planning out a direction for the plot. My partner gets on my constantly for fluffing up my posts, which I don't do because I think it is important as I have always written the headspace for my character.

They said that write the thoughts gives them "insight" into my character's head and he just wants the actions only written out, but I don't like that because it makes sense for characters to have feeling, thoughts etc that are not visible to characters themselves. I feel he believes this crosses the line from OOC/IC, even though he does not take this knowledge and apply the thoughts of my character as if his character knows them.

At the same time, he doesn't post enough about his character. Roleplay, to me, isn't just showing the person it is also telling the person. I feel this is a writing issue between us because his preference is no telling, only showing and I prefer to do both because roleplay is not the same as writing because you cannot know how the story plays how each way.
 
So, I have a few issues lately with my partner and I do not know how to fix them. We are slightly different in the way we approach our roleplay posts. I am an advanced writer, and I love to write about my characters thoughts, their feels with descriptive exposition and planning out a direction for the plot. My partner gets on my constantly for fluffing up my posts, which I don't do because I think it is important as I have always written the headspace for my character.

They said that write the thoughts gives them "insight" into my character's head and he just wants the actions only written out, but I don't like that because it makes sense for characters to have feeling, thoughts etc that are not visible to characters themselves. I feel he believes this crosses the line from OOC/IC, even though he does not take this knowledge and apply the thoughts of my character as if his character knows them.

At the same time, he doesn't post enough about his character. Roleplay, to me, isn't just showing the person it is also telling the person. I feel this is a writing issue between us because his preference is no telling, only showing and I prefer to do both because roleplay is not the same as writing because you cannot know how the story plays how each way.
As a writer who also makes it a point to express my character's thoughts, reasons, and overall perspective via my IC posts, I would most definitely not be able to continue. There are those who focus on the bare bone surface aspects of the roleplay, and others who seek to delve much deeper. Not everyone's roleplay styles mesh well. That's just the reality of our craft, but that's perfectly alright. Different strokes for different folks. We also don't all possess the same idea of what roleplay is, and how it "should be done".

If your partner's style differs too greatly from your own then eventually either one side, or the other will end up unhappy. Roleplay should be fun, so whenever it genuinely isn't, and becomes more of a chore instead, then I would suggest moving on. Expressing that in a polite manner to your partner first. Afterward you can seek out others who write in a similar way, so that things like this can be avoided in the future.

One tip that may help is to peek at the previous work of any prospective partners and/or ask for a writing sample before beginning to write with one another. It'll save a lot of time in the long run if you're aware of what you're getting into beforehand.
 
This, to me, sounds like a style difference that wouldn't be fun for either side if you try to 'fix' it. They probably feel like the emotional reading/thoughts could lead to meta-gaming (the IC knowing something that they shouldn't know) And I know people who are like this.

However, I love working in the thoughts behind the actions, so that my partner can see where my character is coming from (even if their character thinks it's coming out of left field, lol). But I have played with people who don't do this because they inadvertently change their own character's reactions based on this.

If it's not fun and you clash too much, then politely explain that the difference in style is rough on you, but if you have fun ooc, you can always still bs around and talk about the characters without rping with them. (I have a few friends like this, lol)
 
Unfortunately, miss matched styles are one of those sucky things that just happen. Everyone has their own personal style (it would be a boring world if we were all alike) and clashes are inevitable.

From the sounds of it, you and your partner have talked at least a little about the issue but not come to a resolution of any kind. My advice would be to spend some time thinking about how much you value this RP and decide if you want to continue or not. If you do decided that you want to try and push on also think about what your red lines are and what compromises you would be willing to make. Then based one what you decide you need to have a polite but frank conversation with your partner about the future (or lack of) of the RP.

Sometimes it is worth stepping outside of our comfort zones a little to try (and retry) different things to see if what we like has changed. At the end of the day though we RP for fun, not out of any other obligation and if you can't see this RP being something enjoyable then it's perfectly ok to part ways with it and move on.
 
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Sometimes, as was stated, people just don't mesh. You can try all you want, but at the end of the day, changing who you are or what you enjoy about your writing to please someone else isn't fun or fair for either of you. In this case compromising doesn't seem to be an option, and confict generally doesn't resolve, so much as get worse...

If it were me, I would just politely explain that the differences in styles are conflicting with your ability to enjoy the content and it's not worth pursuing the rp any further if it means changing your style or then changing theirs. Just as in relationships... Sometimes it doesn't work out.
 
Unfortunately, miss matched styles are one of those sucky things that just happen. Everyone has their own personnel style (it would be a boring world if we were all alike) and clashes are inevitable.

From the sounds of it, you and your partner have talked at least a little about the issue but not come to a resolution of any kind. My advice would be to spend some time thinking about how much you value this RP and decide if you want to continue or not. If you do decided that you want to try and push on also think about what your red lines are and what compromises you would be willing to make. Then based one what you decide you need to have a polite but frank conversation with your partner about the future (or lack of) of the RP.

Sometimes it is worth stepping outside of our comfort zones a little to try (and retry) different things to see if what we like has changed. At the end of the day though we RP for fun, not out of any other obligation and if you can't see this RP being something enjoyable then it's perfectly ok to part ways with it and move on.

We have several roleplays together, so it is mostly that he wants me to just put the bare bones and that's boring for me. We still roleplay a lot but this thing he says comes up frequently and it bothers me because I want him to be happy to.

I dont complain much but he does way more about how we dont to places fast enough because of how my posts are? I dont understand how talking about my characters headspace has anything to do with it.
 
We have several roleplays together, so it is mostly that he wants me to just put the bare bones and that's boring for me. We still roleplay a lot but this thing he says comes up frequently and it bothers me because I want him to be happy to.

I dont complain much but he does way more about how we dont to places fast enough because of how my posts are? I dont understand how talking about my characters headspace has anything to do with it.
Talking about the thoughts and feelings of the characters doesn't slow down the pace of the story at all. It all depends on the actual action content of the post with whether it moves forward or winds up stagnant. If it's going at a pace that you're comfortable with, yet not fast enough for him, then that's also a conflict in styles.

I have a few RPs that progress weeks at a time in fewer posts than other RPs I have that pass in hours. This is because the ones that progress faster wind up summarizing the daily interactions and having time skips over the repetitive portions while the longer ones wind up having more character development and interactions with each other at a constant level with things constantly changing.

The thought process behind the character's actions doesn't change the fact that it takes time for each physical action taken. If he really feels like it's progressing far too slowly at times, suggest doing a summary of the actions to jump to where he's so eager to get to. If you're adamant about not dropping the RPs.

The main thing is this:
Is it fun for you to RP with him now? Is it worth trying to change your style for him?
If you're not happy and not enjoying it anymore, then it's not worth it for you to try and please someone else.

And the same should be true for him. If he feels like he has to try and change your style to better enjoy the stories, then maybe he should be the one to consider dropping the rps. It's on him to decide if he enjoys them or not.

If it's more work than fun, then it's not worth keeping it up.
If it's a point of stress, then you don't need that.

And, as I said before, there's nothing stopping the two of you from talking about things OOC. There's nothing saying that, just because the rps are dropped, you're not allowed to still chatter about the characters and the fun that they had or could have had. Just don't RP it out if it's not as fun for the two of you.
 
Talking about the thoughts and feelings of the characters doesn't slow down the pace of the story at all. It all depends on the actual action content of the post with whether it moves forward or winds up stagnant. If it's going at a pace that you're comfortable with, yet not fast enough for him, then that's also a conflict in styles.

I have a few RPs that progress weeks at a time in fewer posts than other RPs I have that pass in hours. This is because the ones that progress faster wind up summarizing the daily interactions and having time skips over the repetitive portions while the longer ones wind up having more character development and interactions with each other at a constant level with things constantly changing.

The thought process behind the character's actions doesn't change the fact that it takes time for each physical action taken. If he really feels like it's progressing far too slowly at times, suggest doing a summary of the actions to jump to where he's so eager to get to. If you're adamant about not dropping the RPs.

The main thing is this:
Is it fun for you to RP with him now? Is it worth trying to change your style for him?
If you're not happy and not enjoying it anymore, then it's not worth it for you to try and please someone else.

And the same should be true for him. If he feels like he has to try and change your style to better enjoy the stories, then maybe he should be the one to consider dropping the rps. It's on him to decide if he enjoys them or not.

If it's more work than fun, then it's not worth keeping it up.
If it's a point of stress, then you don't need that.

And, as I said before, there's nothing stopping the two of you from talking about things OOC. There's nothing saying that, just because the rps are dropped, you're not allowed to still chatter about the characters and the fun that they had or could have had. Just don't RP it out if it's not as fun for the two of you.

I do have fun with it, and I think he does too. Sometimes his complaining makes me feel like I am a bad partner.
 
I do have fun with it, and I think he does too. Sometimes his complaining makes me feel like I am a bad partner.
Then let him know this. I've had a few of my partners tell me that my replies make them feel like they're bad at RPing in comparison, even though we both enjoy the RP itself. I find myself reassuring them that as long as we're enjoying it, it can't be a bad rp or them being a bad partner ;)

If he doesn't understand how it makes you feel, then he'll keep doing it.
If he does understand how it makes you feel and keeps going along with the complaints, then maybe the relationship OOC is what should be considered.
 
Can't offer much more than what has been said unless I get to see the posts.

I play to my audience but I also play in my own style. A long time ago I stopped myself from writing out my character's thoughts for various reasons. Now it is second nature to me. I've never had a complaint about my posts, although, nor have I ever been that bothered by another person's wordiness.

Just like any relationship, it is up to you both to talk it out and come up with a compromise. If you are unwilling to compromise, then tell them and decide how best to move along. Beyond that, there isn't a whole lot more to say.
 
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