Dichotomy

[DotCom]

She relented to holding his hand only because she loved him.

Well. Because she loved him, and he loved her. And because there would never be a moment when she did not long to touch him. Because, finally, he was her's alone once more, and she was free (freeish) to fret over him as she wished, without having to trust his health, his life to a handful of healers. Because he was standing and breathing on his own, because the fever had broken and he recognized her, and even if she was not quite through with irrational panic and concern, she was so relieved to have him back, she nearly ached with it. Because she loved him, and she had missed him, and she had been afraid, and if she didn't do something, then she was going to do something else, something stupid, like cry, and that would only upset him, and that was the very last thing she wanted now.

But mostly, she relented because she loved him.

Just moments prior, she'd been standing beside him, stiff and anxious and irritable, her arms folded across her chest, because she'd lost yet another argument to him going outside. And this one she was say, too, had been lost only because she loved him -- she'd have no doubt won otherwise -- but also because she could feel the restlessness and paranoia beginning to creep in, and as much as she wanted him safe and heathy, she wanted him happy, too. So, she'd agreed to let him taste fresh air...on the precursor that at least one healer be ready with a hot drink and a warmed blanket, should he catch a chill. She had another blanket tucked under her free arm, her expression surly as the air was chill.

But of course, his touch undid all that. It always did.

And, if pressed, she would admit she, too, was happy to be out of this place that gave Rask nightmares and kept her from their home and their bed. She had spent long nights at his side, perched in a large chair at his bedside, until he'd insisted she sleep in a real bed, lest she catch an illness all her own. She had started to argue, then acquiesced just as soon as he kissed her, and frowned at him for it, because it was manipulation of the vilest kind. Then he'd kissed her again, and the frown had faded under a blush and the argument, once more, had been won.

She'd left for as little time as she could the night before the 'prepare' their home again, shutting all the windows, preparing whatever firewood was necessary, ensuring the heat cavern located near the house was open and uncluttered. She'd found and bought and traded and stolen extra blankets, and kept pitchers of whatever miracle healing nonsense the Aavan kept on hand for their own kind in their cellar. She'd left only when she was rigidly certain she could cure Rask of anything but another cold-shock, and she was mostly ready for that, too. All that remained was the walk back, which had her stomach nearly in knots, despite the fact that she'd berated the healers into nearly accompanying them almost back to their home.

His touch undid that, too. She wouldn't be truly happy until she had him home, in their bed, under a mound of blankets too heavy for him to lift. But this, this moment of peace, was close.

She let herself take a single, deep breath and close her eyes for just a moment as she rested her head against his shoulder.

"Are you sure you don't want me to ask them to knock out the roof here?" she offered jokingly. Mostly jokingly. "We could have it done by tonight, I'm sure."

 

[Kaisaan]

Rask let out a laugh and it was genuine and happy, and he pressed a kiss to Lyra's head and then decided that wasn't enough as he used his free hand to tilt her head up, green eyes meeting her tangerine with a mirthful and yet intense gaze. "I am sure they could have it done in an hour if you demanded it, Crimson, but I would much rather go home." And with another soft chuckle, he brought his lips to hers and then found he didn't want to pull back as soon as he thought he would.

His mouth lingered on the Keeper's and the gold Aavan felt that instinctual, primal stirring again, coming to life. Despite the last six years, pushing it away, fine with doing so and feeling complete in control of the reaction, it still didn't hesitate when it came over him, when it showed itself to still be very present. And Rask knew it was always there - never gone at all and how could it be with a mate like Lyra? - but his training meant he could suppress it and such had been the need for a while because of how busy everything was, how much was demanded of them and how it effected their own mental states. Now, though, now it was Lyra's hesitancy that kept Rask in control and he didn't begrudge her one moment of not being ready.

Keepers....most didn't go the whole mate route. They had their duty, their commitments to their people. Babies and love and whatnot were for Matrons, Whisperers, Prodigies, Dreamers and the like. Those who had the time and softer touch for things like that. Not Keepers.

Rask understood the reasons Lyra hesitated and he never pressed her, no matter what the Bond persistently tried to enforce, and certainly he ignored what his own instinctual demanded. That he could easily do. He'd been taught that for almost thirty years.

It asserted itself now as the gold Aavan finally drew back, putting an instant damper on the desire that had risen into life, smothering it like a wet rag over a candle, and Rask smiled softly at Lyra, putting his forehead to her own in a much tamer manner for a moment. "Come on, Crimson. Let's go home."

He actually, sincerely did not want to catch another cold of any kind. He didn't like being sick or injured...though, all evidence pointed to the contrary, he knew.

Rask tugged lightly on Lyra's hand to get her moving and they walked, not hurriedly or frantically, but calmly back toward their house. Rask was looking forward to being back there, in his own bed again, looking at the stars at night and Lyra in his arms, where she should be.

 

[DotCom]

The journey back to their home was nothing so disastrous as what Lyra guessed it might be, though she could feel (or she imagined she could, and that was enough for her) exhaustion and cold ebbing through her mate's body and mind by the time they reached it. She ushered him into the house and then into the bed without giving him a chance to argue, knowing he could derail her completely with a word, or, Matriarch forbid it, a kiss. Instead, she busied herself heaping blankets on top of him, then preparing a triple serving of the hot beverage he'd been given morning, noon, and night in the healer's dens before finally settling in next to him, pressing close. To keep him warm.

"Are you alright?"

She shut her eyes and waited for an answer, her head once more on his shoulder. It had taken her a long time to understand what he sometimes hid from her when they were close, and an even long time to begin to guess at what it was. The moment even the idea had presented itself, she had blushed, stammering, and pulled back, finding, in that precise instant, a reason to get away from Rask and busy herself in training new recruits to the United Army Reserves. She knew Rask knew she reverted to fighting only when she could think of no other way to hide her thoughts from him -- six years, and he was still so much better at this Bond than she could ever hope to be -- but it had seemed better than facing what he thought.

Lyra loved Rask with every part of herself, and she was fairly certain he knew it. She would die for him as easily as one might shed an article of clothing. No hesitation, no effort. She took actual offense to the idea that she might do otherwise, and the thought of living even a moment without him simultaneously repulsed and terrified her. There was nothing she would not do for him and yet...she could not do that. It was not as if she hadn't given it thought. There were times she wanted to be close to him such that it ached. There were times when, even pressed against him, enveloped in his arms, her head tucked beneath his chin, she wanted to be closer, without knowing why or how, times she wanted it so badly she thought she could scream.

But she couldn't. That had never been, was never going to be a part of her life, her personhood. It would be like asking the sun to shine at night. It was impossible, outside of her very being.

Wasn't it?

Lyra had been the first ever Empath to have a child of her own. Of course, she had also been the Maiden and had had twins, and hated mated with an Aavan and and and. Lyra was almost a creature of legend, nothing for a traditional, rational, duty-bound Keeper to aspire to.

And yet...sometimes, Lyra thought Rask wanted it, wanted her so badly, she wanted it, too. She wanted to make him happy. She wanted to be closer. And she had always thought she could never love like an Empath or a Matron. But when little Tai had balanced at the edge of death, she had gone away, after Rask was asleep, and she had wept bitterly.

Shaking herself, steeling herself, Lyra scooted closer, her mouth nearly pressed to his neck, her words heavy with warmth, sleep. She wanted to ask again how he was, how he was feeling.

She didn't.

"The...the mark on Lyra's neck...the blue lightning bolt...Is it...was is...What is it?"

 

[Kaisaan]

He was fine and Rask kept assuring Lyra of that even as she fretted about, nearly laughing at her antics every time she asked, though, there was nothing truly mocking in the sounds of mirth, only love and amusement coloring his thoughts as he finally just complied with what the Keeper wanted, finding that he DID actually feel better now that he was getting warmer. Being dipped in freezing water, while in winter and THEN housing an Ashkerai within his body hadn't been the wisest of things he'd ever done, but for little Tai, he'd do it again without hesitation.

Still, it gave Lyra reason to overcompensate and she did. And he loved her dearly for it.

When she finally came into the bed and was where he wanted her, Rask finally did as his Keeper wanted; he relaxed. She was here, calm, not moving about her frantically trying to remember what to do for him - when he really needed so little at the moment - or worrying herself ragged over what else she could do. No, she was in his arms, curled up against him and the gold Aavan knew peace then, knew to let the tension drain and the heat around him do its work. He didn't feel like sleeping, thought, too wired for it - all he'd been doing was sleeping! - but he would not move at all if Lyra fell asleep. She needed it, badly and if all he got to do was lay here and stare at her for a few hours, running his fingers through her hair and memorizing every shade of her skin and hair, he would count himself blessed.

There were times, many, that he could not believe she was his. She deserved so much better.

But Rask wouldn't complain that she WAS his and a smile came to his face as she curled close, but a near gasp that he caught just in time, came at feeling her lips and warm breath against his neck, probably something she didn't mean in an overly intimate way at all. Rask did his best to ignore it at the moment.

Her question, though, wasn't much better and Rask blinked up at the sky he could see above them through the glass, wondering just why she was asking NOW and how he was to explain. Well, actually, that last part was easier. He would simply say the truth, blunt as they'd always been with each other.

Still, Rask's mental words were said softly and his hand had moved to card through rust-colored hair. "It's a Mate Marking. Moridryn gave it to her, either right before, during or after they mated. It...is a claiming ritual between mated Aavan, something the male always gives the female so other males will know she is taken without question. It's...important to male Aavan, it's an instinct they can't overcome."

Rask wasn't entirely aware that instead of using personal nouns like 'me', 'we', 'us' or 'I', he made everything sound more like he was talking about another species entirely. Such was done, subconsciously, not to place any kind of pressure on Lyra and instead Rask kissed her temple lovingly.

"And to answer your other question; I'm feeling fine. Still a bit cold, but you're helping, I promise."

 

[DotCom]

She smiled and nuzzled him closer. In the last six years, Lyra had shown herself to be far more open and affectionate, almost kittenishly so, in those moments before she fell asleep. Her breathing changed and her mind slipped into a state of subconscious love and desire, wrapping close, possessive, almost jealous, around Rask's mind. She was, for the most part, innocent and chaste in her affections, usually accounting for nothing more than cooing the words 'I love you' over and over and over again until at last sleep claimed her.

But when the duty-imposed rigidity slipped, there was more to Lyra beneath.

His second statement was the easier by far to handle, so Lyra answered that one, first, turning her head just slightly to kiss her mate in the hollow of his collarbone.

"Good," she insisted quietly. "I'll stay close, then."

The first bit, though, was not quite so easy to react to. Had she been more herself, concerned with their safety, or his health, or appearances, or anything at all, she might not have said anything. She'd have flushed and changed the subject, or moved away to get him something to drink or eat, burying him stubborning beneath yet another blanket.

But she was tired and giddy with relief, and maybe she had always secretly been curious.

"And you? What shape would your...Mate Marking take?"

 

[Kaisaan]

Her action caused Rask to shudder, unable to help it or stop it, and he was glad Lyra was nearly half-asleep. Her kiss had left a spot of fire over his skin, spreading outward, that no amount of blankets or warm brews could have come close to causing and the gold Aavan both relaxed further and yet buzzed with a longing and demand he tried to keep far from the scarlet threads of his mate's mind. She was far too happy, to comfortable for him to want that disturbing her. Rask didn't want her to grow flustered and leave again.

It hurt when she did, though, he kept that from her, too, never growing angry or impatient with her uncertainty over this aspect of their Bond. To do that....no. He couldn't even contemplate being even irritated with his Keeper over that. He didn't want her scared or hesitant or pressured. He wanted her loved and cherished, trusting and willing, and he'd wait forever if he had to.

That gold Aavan never wanted her to feel like she'd been forced into anything or that he wouldn't want her if she was never ready for that physical intimacy. Nothing could be further from the truth.

He adored her, loved her with everything he was.

So it was that Rask kept still and only rested his head to Lyra's own, gold hair mingling with her rust-orange as he listened to her next question and smiled a bit, chuckling softly. His hand moved to find her own across his waist and he linked their fingers gently, looking at her smaller one in his larger with a fond expression.

"I don't know. Male Aavan never know what their Marks will look like until they've made them. Sometimes it reflects their power, other times their personalities or colors. It's impossible to know until it happens."

Rask wished he could tell her - or better yet, show her - but the truth was that he simply didn't know.

 

[DotCom]

Lyra was nearly asleep when she felt Rask shiver. She was happy and tired and warm and trusting that he'd maybe finally recovered...but the shiver made it through, spiking through her mind like a knife flashing through darkness.

At once, the scarlet thread of her mind were probing at his, searching for injury or cold or the invasion of another Ashkerai. A second, gentler waved washed over those threads, caressing and comforting on instinct even before she was truly awake.

She woke to find her hand in his and didn't pull away, though she propped herself up on an elbow to peer down at his face, her brow furrowed in concern.

"What?" she demanded blearily. "What happened? Are you cold? Do you need something?" Then she did pull her hand from his to press her fingers to his forehead, his cheek, his neck, feeling for another spike in the fever, oblivious to whatever else was going on in his mind, only half hearing the answer to her question.

"Wait here," she said, beginning to roll out of their bed. "I'll go get the healers. Don't move, alright? I'll be right back -- just try and stay calm and -- " She was out of the bed and halfway to the door before her mind caught up with her, slowly feeding her the answers to all her concerns. She stopped, first baffled, then embarrassed, a bright red crawling up her neck.

"Oh...oh."

She stood there, frozen for a moment, her heart rate slowing again as she tried to guess what to do. She couldn't just leave him. Especially now that she knew what he'd done -- what she'd done to him. She had been so warm, so comfortable, so happy there beside him. She didn't want to leave.

But she was terrified, too, she would destroy something if she did.

She knew what Rask wanted. She knew because she was his mate, and she knew him, and she wanted it, too.

But she also knew what she was, and what she was not. Before she'd met Rask, she'd been just a Keeper. A good Keeper, granted, but still just a Keeper. Arrogant and haughty and tied to her job, her title. The last time she had tried to been anything more, her brother had died. What if she could not be what Rask wanted -- what he needed? She had stood on the wrong side of his near death too many times to even try to bear it again. She feared it like nothing she had ever feared before. If they tried...something, anything...and she failed, lost him...she would be devastated. Far beyond what a job as Keeper could find her. She had come so far with Rask. If she undid something, she knew she could never go back. She would only...cease to exist.

It seemed easier for a moment to leave. He would understand, she knew, or he would pretend to. He would let her go, because, for some odd reason, he loved her. She would grow flustered and overwhelmed again, and she would seethe in quiet, hidden self-loathing and return to him minutes or hours later with a hot beverage and a smile and they would fall asleep and try to keep their longing from each other.

It was a loop she hated. But it was so much safer than the alternative.

Her mind buzzed with a hundred thousand whatifs. She started to go, to make some excuse.

The memory of his lips against hers stopped her. Cautiously, she looked up into his eyes.

"Rask," she said. "I'm scared."

 

[Kaisaan]

She woke, started to worry, to take charge again and Rask winced, disappointment and something akin to pain coursing through him in one brief pulse before he clamped down on it as she left of his arms, left the bed. There was a cold spot now where the Keeper had been, but it was more than just at his side and he sighed quietly, letting her move away, letting her make her panicked plans because it would make her feel better. If it meant he had to deal with more healers - all giving him puzzled looks as he was fine - around his beside, then he would endure it for Lyra's sake, to reassure her that he was fine.

His mind had already started to sink down into that resignation when his mate suddenly stopped, suddenly flushed and Rask found himself doing the same the moment those words left her mouth, the moment she understood.

Well, maybe he wouldn't be seeing a healer after all, though, having Lyra leave for an undetermined amount of time didn't appeal to him either, but he'd let her, just as he'd always let her before.

The gold Aavan could feel the turmoil in her mind, hated it, but the gold threads of his own didn't try to touch that part of the scarlet, that knot that Lyra kept tangling further and further around herself. She wasn't ready for him to help her unravel that and he wouldn't, not until she asked, not until she let him come toward it willingly, not until the scarlet welcomed his help in this regard.

He prepared to have her leave, started to close his eyes as she did...and then opened them again when he felt her hesitate.

It was something new, an action she'd not taken before and the gold of his mind tensed, quivered with surprise and question, and with the smallest shiver of hope that he dare not feed, dare not let grow beyond that tiniest glimmer as he looked at the Keeper, startled by her admission, but more so by the fact that she was still HERE. And that he could not hide from her, his mind showing it, his green eyes too as they looked into her uncertain, nervous tangerine ones and Rask wished in that moment that he could hold her, reassure her, but he contented himself with simply speaking first.

He contented himself with the fact that she hadn't left yet and he found it more than enough right now, the hurt inside him slowly uncoiling, the gold working hard to keep it hidden from the distracted scarlet.

"I know. I...I know, Lyra....but you don't need to be. I won't hurt you and I know you won't hurt me, even if you struggle to believe that about yourself." Rask bit his lip and then took a breath a moment later, his eyes rising to meet her own again. "This...it wouldn't be a bad thing. I promise, it wouldn't, Crimson, but you don't have to. I love you and I will always love you, no matter what you do or don't do. Nothing will change that."

 

[DotCom]

She could feel it now.

Just the distant edges, and only through a haze of her own panic and confusion, but she could feel it. Everything he'd been trying to hide from her, the hurt and the desire, and she realized that once again, by trying to protect him, she had caused him pain.

Well, no more.

Because she could feel the hope there, too. This new, quivering brightness, a breathless fervor he dared not give light to, but she could see it anyway, because it so matched her own. Behind the terror and apprehension, behind the almost crippling knowledge that she would do something wrong and lose him again, her own furtive hopes and desires reached out, and once the two met, there was nothing she could do to smother them.

Lyra loved Rask, and she knew Rask loved her. She had seen the evidence more times than she could count. She could feel it in her gut with a sacred assurance. He loved her. It made no sense. It ought not to have been true. She had done more in a few short years to dissolve his love than she had ever done to earn it. But he loved her nonetheless. And standing tall on that promise, she could feel something else burning beneath it -- desire.

She had his heart and soul and mind. She wanted more. Goddess, she was greedy, but she wanted more. And she wanted to give more.

And it could be disastrous, she knew. But somehow, suddenly, the outcome outweighed the risk.

She could feel her heart pounding almost painfully against her ribcage. Her breath was coming in a way that made her chest feel constricted and her head feel light. Her cheeks burned and her fingers felt numb and tingly. She wondered for a moment if she was going to pass out. She wavered for a moment, then stepped forward.

And then she was moving, cautiously, but deliberately, back toward the bed, back toward his arms. Her body was on fire, and yet she shivered to touch him. Her stomach was in knots. She couldn't catch her breath. Cautiously, carefully, she found his arms, and then his chest, and then she was straddling him, her knees at his sides, her eyes wide. How many times had they taken this precise position on the training fields, in the sparring rings? And yet she had never felt quite so elated, exhausted, excited as she did now.

"Okay," she whispered quietly, breathless. "Okay. I trust you. I love you. I..." She trailed off, braced her hands on his shoulders, and leaned over to kiss him, her breath freezing in her lungs almost completely for a moment.

 

[Kaisaan]

He knew.

Rask knew the moment her mind changed, the moment she made her decision and his breath caught in both disbelief and wonder even as his eyes never once left the Keeper, watching as she moved closer, feeling the affects of her body as the gold of his mind slowly, carefully twined about the scarlet that was reaching out, his own breathing growing sparse in his chest to feel her own nervous desire, to know that she loved him the same ways despite the fear she felt.

And then he felt her touch, light brushes and hesitant exploration that made his heart beat erratically and fire erupt across his skin wherever her skin alighted upon his own. Her body came over his and Rask felt a jolt at the pressure, a shudder traveling through him as he raised his hands slowly and found her arms with his fingers, just barely brushing her skin, feeling the goosebumps that rose in his wake. Then her lips were on his own and Rask couldn't hold back the groan that his mind sounded into her own, his throat unable to do so.

It was a simple kiss, but there was so much behind it, such new emotions that everything grew more intense, more...just more and the gold Aavan's fingers moved to find Lyra's face, to slide into her hair and then down her back, to her waist as he sat up, holding her close, mouth never parting from her own.

It was both a passionate action, but also a comforting one because he could feel the storm building within his mind, denied for six years.

He was still holding it back, though, as the gold threads of his mind started to work patiently, lovingly on the knot within his mate's mind, gently unraveling the scarlet threads that had worked themselves into such a loop of fear, loathing, denial and confusion. As he soothed, though, Rask also tried to explain. Not in words, but somehow in fleeting thoughts and impressions, he tried to convey that she would soon feel something, encounter something in his mind that she'd never had true contact with.

It would be possessive and fierce, intense, demanding even, and absolutely wild, but it would NOT harm her. It was instinct in its purest form and it wanted Lyra. It was him, the part of him that didn't think at all, only reacted and it desired the Keeper, loved her, wanted nothing but for her to be his in every way and for her to be happy.

It would never do anything that would make her unhappy and she only had to express that emotion to stop it, no matter what was happening. Simple as that.

Rask tried to explain it, not knowing how better to do so, but still he hesitated to let it loose, despite how it fought back the restraint he still had over it, for once his training doing very little to keep it back. But Lyra had never reacted this way before, either, and Rask finally pulled back from the kiss and took one hand from her waist, reaching up instead to brush his Keeper's hair from her face and then to touch her lower lip with his thumb, even his mental voice quiet, strained, but filled with such adoration it was a wonder it didn't spill from him in tangible waves of color.

"I love you. Forever and always, my Crimson, my Keeper, my Lyra."

 

[DotCom]

Lyra could hear, feel, sense, taste the storm he withheld from her, and for a moment, she could only regard it with a wide-eyed wonder.

Her demeanor didn't change. Not at first. She was far too caught up in the physical sensations for her mind to give over what it had learned to her body. Her breathing was rapid and shallow as though something was bound tight against her chest, and if she'd given it anymore thought, she might have tugged at the collar of her shirt. As it were, her hands were busy, caught beneath his shirt, pressed against the bare skin of his back, his arms, his chest. Or her fingers found the hollows of his neck, or his cheeks, or they were buried in his hair. And her lips danced across his jaw, his shoulders, his mouth.

But slowly, her mind began to understand what his sought to share -- as much as she knew and loved Rask, she had not, had never known all of him. There was a second part to him, ironically enough, that part she had been trained to be wary of from the start, the part the Keepers thought they teased into fighting in days past. That part that so cleanly fit the bill of what she had been taught to expect from Aavan -- wild, untamable. She felt his reassurances she would not be harmed, and she took them in stride, telling him without words, she knew, she trusted him.

But in her mind, she laughed. This part of himself he wanted to show her, fierce and possessive, and wild -- it was everything Lyra had trained for. It was everything she wanted, and everything she was.

They had been meant for each other from the outright. It had only taken her this long to find it.

When at last he pulled back, she was breathless, almost dizzy, her eyes dilated to wide, dark circles with the barest hint of tangerine at the edges. She forced herself to listen to his words, because she loved him, loved the sound of his voice in her mind. But now she, too, longed for the release of that other side, that other nature.

She nuzzled close, her forehead to his, their noses almost touching.

"I know," she said. "And I, you. I'm ready now. I was always ready. I just never knew." She paused, offered a wry smile. "Or do you doubt a Keeper's training?"

 

[Kaisaan]

Her laughter, above anything else, lightened his heart, reassured Rask like nothing else could that this was all right. That SHE was all right and he took a deep breath when their foreheads touched, a gesture so simple and yet so intimate it could not accurately be described in this moment. He felt a shudder to look into her dilated, aroused eyes and he knew his looked the same, having further narrowed to vertical slits, though, they were still green. Faint flecks of gold swam below the surface, though and at her words, he grinned, a feral expression.

"Hardly. I'm merely looking forward to testing it." he whispered back to her, eyes glittering in love and challenge both even as his mind caressed softly, gently over her own, comforting and treasuring for a moment in reassurance.

And then he released what he'd been keeping a tight reign on for so long.

Rask had never felt such bliss, such pleasure, such touch from anyone, much less his mate, not like this and it had driven the instinct within him crazy, into a level of intensity not even Mori had reached with Rora - though, neither Rask nor Lyra would know that. The Keeper's actions had been incredibly overwhelming and yet not enough all at once and the gold Aavan had never been more grateful for the mind-connection they shared as he was now, as it let him 'speak' even though his throat wouldn't let him anymore.

A snarl rumbled through Lyra's mind, like the shaking of the earth, the rushing of a waterfall and his lips found her throat as the wild, possessive fire swept through him and into her, searing through her mind, and yet leaving no damage as it sought out every strand of scarlet, latching on, wrapping around, demanding, nearly consuming, both mildly punishing for making it wait so long and then crooning and caressing the threads of Lyra's mind like one would intimately stroke a lover.

Rask's mouth was leaving a hot trail of open-mouthed kisses along Lyra's neck and then her jawline, back up to her lips, but he'd not marked her yet. Not yet. She'd have one by the time this was over, but only when the desire struck him and right now, he was far more interested in the taste of her mouth and the feeling of her labored breathing, the sensation of her bare skin as his fingers found her side beneath her shirt and another snarl, almost smug, rippled through her mind.

"Mine."

It was the last intelligent word he'd say until afterward.

 

[DotCom]

He was right.

Nothing in her years of training as a Keeper could have prepared her for him. Rask -- and Ras'K -- her mate as he truly was, whole in mind, spirit, and body.

Oh, she had tried. She had fought hard, fought well, even respectably, and she was now half breathless, delirious with exhaustion and excitement and utter bliss for it. The moment he had released his mind into hers, Lyra became the Keeper she had always been, only she was no longer just Keeper, but Keeper and mate. The fierceness and possessiveness she found in his mind could only have been met by that which existed in hers, and suddenly, they were sparring in a very different way. It had been better than anything she'd ever known, a puzzle, a match of a different variety, with all the cunning and agility she'd come to expect from him, now matched on the very highest level. She had fought, body and mind, the fierceness she had never seen in him awakening everything she had been trained for and yet never truly shown him.

For a time, they had been evenly matched, a competitiveness borne of being both Cerebra and Keeper. But in the end, she had ceded to him, accepting this new side of him as mate and lover, giving subtle dominance in a way that told her not every loss was a bad thing.

And when it was over, her head spun and her mind whirled in a rage of absolute ecstasy, her every fiber of her being aflame. Her cheeks her flush, her pupils still dilated, her bare hips, arms, shoulders covered in a thin sheen of sweat. She lay close, equal parts possessive and subdued, staring at the sky through their class ceiling, listening in rapt adoration to the sound of his heart beating against his chest, his chest pressed close to her ear.

She struggled to find the words again and again, and then finally accepted there were none to capture her happiness, her relief, her complete and utter love for him. Instead, her mind coiled close, still powerful, still hungry...but also quietly reverent of a strength and fierceness that might even have been greater than itself. Her body ached in a sort of pain she longed to feel again even as it ebbed through her body. She needed to rest now, she knew. It had been too long since last she'd slept, but there was no way her mind was anywhere near close enough now to sleep. She felt as if she'd swallowed the very sun itself, too bright, too hot, to ever know calmness again.

And that was just fine with her.

"Orai sol," she began, a dreamy, adoring half murmur when at last her breathing began to ease. There was nothing else too say, or perhaps simply too much. She knew they were not quite finished yet. Her time with him had obliterated any thought at all, but slowly, memory and sensation began to crawl back. She had not forgotten his need to 'mark' her, something she'd never have dreamed of before meeting him. The idea of a Keeper, of the Matriarch's Head Keeper being owned by anyone would have seemed grotesque at the very least.

Now, she longed for nothing more. She was his, and he was hers, and she would not rest until the world knew it.

Tangerine eyes flicked up to meet green, and she smiled, using what remained of her energy to press her lips to his. It was chaste, simple, brief, and yet she felt her lips burn with the contact.

'Mine' he had said at the outset of their passion. Now, her grin widened, sleepy and greedy at once.

"Yours," she agreed.

 

[Kaisaan]

Rask was complete.

He could feel it in every corner of his mind, the gold threads lazily curled, draped, tied in with the scarlet in an impossibly tight, intricate braid that had never possessed so much strength and sense of oneness before now. It was bliss of a gentler, calmer kind than what they'd just done and the gold Aavan relaxed into it, into Lyra mentally even as he cradled her, too, wrapping around her as his limbs were entwined with hers now.

His body was sated and yet still buzzed with an excitement that could stir again at a moment's beckoning by his mate. Her kiss made him smile, made him breath out deeply in something more than a simple sigh, happy, completely enraptured by her. His fierce Keeper who'd stood up to him, who'd fought him so spectacularly, making the wild side of him EARN her submissiveness, made the feral side of him realize just how much it would strive to protect and guard the respect and trust it had now gotten from the scarlet. It was as it should have been and Rask had never been happier.

He took her fingers from his chest then and pressed a kiss to her hand and then gently nibbled on the very tip of her finger, green eyes dark and dilated still, but no longer slitted, no longer flecked with the gold that indicated his power. No less desiring of her, but far calmer, able to push that longing away for now, knowing the restraint wasn't a permanent thing.

That made all the difference.

And her words only cemented such a fact to him and Rask growled softly into her mind in agreement, but in that moment, felt something spark inside him that he could not explain in the least. It made his gums ache, though, the need to bite overwhelming him so that he didn't think at all, he just moved. His actions were feral and abrupt as he flipped Lyra over completely and his body hovered over her own, his hands having found hers, keeping them trapped against the bed as the growl in her mind intensified.

But there was no anger, no threat, no harm behind anything he did.

He couldn't explain it to her, though, could hardly think at all and Rask's mouth found the Keeper's collarbone, leaving nips and kisses to her skin as he made his way up her neck, to the junction between shoulder and neck and then higher to the base of her ear before he moved down and inward again, searching, the ache and purposeful desire within him growing unbearable.

And finally he found the spot, right over her pulse-point and his tongue found her skin, feeling the rapid beat of her heart with a growl of satisfaction before his fangs sank into her skin, causing a flash of pain that was drowned out by the overwhelming pleasure that seared from his mind and into Lyra's own even as he drew blood from the Keeper. Power erupted from him then, a power he'd only ever feel once as it flowed through his mouth and into Lyra's wound, changing the bite marks into something different, something better and Rask licked away the blood gently to see what lay beneath, his mind coming back to him as he blinked.

His hold on Lyra, on her hands, didn't let up for a moment as he registered that it was a golden halo of flames around a rust-orange heart that now marked her skin.

It made the golden Aavan smile as he looked back into tangerine eyes and Rask leaned down to kiss Lyra softly, lovingly as he finally released her and then searched her eyes, smiling a little sheepishly for how he'd gone about that. "You're mine now, Cefnarai. In every way." he whispered to her, happiness in every word.

 

[DotCom]

She had known without knowing she knew what it was he intended from the moment his eyes found hers. In an instant, she was on her back again, hair spread around her head like a flaming halo, though she gave no notice. In fact, the earth might have surged up then and swallowed them both whole and she'd only have looked over if it happen to rise between them, breaking their eye contact. But nothing did until he moved his mouth down to her neck and her breath caught in her throat, her body going rigid beneath him.

She'd thought she was too tired for anything else...but she'd been wrong. She could feel her heart begin to race again, her breathing picking up, and when his lips found her throat, her eyes drifted shut, not in exhaustion, but ecstasy. She couldn't help the tiny whimper that escaped her lips, nor the violet shudder that rocketed down her spine as he moved closer and closer to a target she couldn't comprehend.

When he found it, when he bit down gently, she had to tangle her hands in the sheets to keep from moving, such was the wave of pleasure that had washed over her. It left her breathless, gasping, spiraling toward an oblivion she could only wonder at, and for a moment, everything but Rask ceased to exist as she teetered on the brink of an abyss far beyond her understanding.

Then the moment had passed and she opened her eyes to find him above her, in their bedroom, in their home, not swinging wide on some far flung axis of an unimaginable planet. She exhaled slowly, only then realizing she'd been holding her breath, and for a moment could only stare, her pupils once more dilated almost beyond comprehension.

Then he smiled and spoke, and the tension eased out of her, and the happiness that flooded her mind was a warm, simple one. She registered his mild embarrassment and giggled gently as she craned her neck upward to meet the kiss, her mind wrapping warmly around his.

She tugged him down beside her and nuzzled close, her mind alight with all manner of nonsense things, floating spheres of light, wisps of liquid happiness, and she found she couldn't stop smiling, not caring in the slightest how ridiculous she knew she must look.

"And you, mine," she slurred almost drunkenly, finding his lips with hers once more. "I love you, my orai los. I am yours."

She reached across his waist again to grab his free hand and burrowed almost impossibly close, her head tucked once more beneath his chin as she yawned and stretched luxuriously.

"I am yours," she said again. And the word reverberated through her mind and into his until, at last, she fell asleep.

 

[Kaisaan]

--------------

Kohe'Erana woke in a sheen of sweat, her breath short in her lungs, a scream trapped in her throat. She refused to give it life and swallowed it back down quickly, glancing across the room to her sister's bed, knowing Tai would be awake within moments, a minute at most. She couldn't hide any emotion from her twin and Kohe wasn't trying to, not really, but the last thing she wanted was their parents in here or Uncle Rask. Not for a nightmare. They would only worry and she didn't want them to.

Yes, she'd been having nightly - EVERY night - terrors for nearly three months now, but they didn't need to know that. Their father and mother thought the sleep drafts the healers had given them had helped their eldest daughter nearly a month ago and Kohe was loathe to reveal that it had done nothing but somehow make her far more able to control when she WOKE and HOW she woke. It was meant to make her SLEEP. She didn't know why it was having the opposite kind of effect and she didn't want to be subject to the healer's questions again, nor her mother's over-protectiveness and her father's stress. What she had, they could not help, and she didn't want them killing themselves trying.

So she didn't scream and the young Demisan - what the two races had chosen to call them, taking it from an ancient Earth language, much like their mother's name, Aurora - got out of the bed on silent feet, making almost no sound as she moved for her closet. She needed a shower, currently covered in drying sweat, but her breathing was becoming more regular and though her hands trembled as she tried sort through her clothes, Kohe knew it would pass.

It always did.

She wished the nightmares would, though.

The Demisan knew she'd had a few, sporadic ones when she was much younger, but now at the edge of eleven and the cusp of twelve, she had them now with an increasing intensity that was becoming unbearable. But what was frightening about them was WHAT she dreamed about; war and death, violence beyond the scope of her imagination, Aavan in captivity, Cerebrae being wiped out by a darkness she knew had passed days before her and Tai's birth. She saw her father nearly die and her mother kill to save him. She saw Aunt Lyra trying to save someone drowning and Uncle Rask being nothing short of tortured. She saw that same Uncle tearing the throat out of Uncle Tac and Aunt Yenna at the mercy of her mother when she and Tai were not even born yet. She saw the Darkness overwhelm the world and wars being fought between four different peoples, the fourth unidentifiable to her.

She saw things she should not know, should not see and it scared Kohe. It scared her to know these things in a way she never should have.

So the white-black haired Demisan tried not to think about it as she picked her clothes and moved toward the bathroom, wondering if she'd make it before Tai woke and asked what she'd dreamed about.

Her sister always knew, without having to ask, that Kohe had dreamed. She knew if it had been terrifying or just mildly disturbing. She knew when Kohe needed someone to hold her and tell her that this was the real world and when she needed space to breathe. She was wonderful and Kohe knew she wouldn't have been able to last this long without Tai by her side.

 

[DotCom]

Tai was already awake.

She'd learned two months ago now not to let Kohe know -- though of course, if Kohe truly wanted to know something there was no keeping it from her -- when she was awake, had spent weeks perfecting her breathing, keeping still even when she itched to do nothing more than join Kohe in her bed, smoothing dark-light hair away from a sweat-soaked brow, gently, carefully. She was learning things about her Empathy -- Kohe was teaching her, even if her older twin didn't know it -- about how maybe she could help Kohe. Her Empathy was nowhere near as strong as her mother's, but it stretched farther, at least with Kohe, and Tai was slowly learning to discern between the pink of her sister's mind and the darkness she could feel circling it, especially when Kohe slept. Every morning, she was able to wriggle a little more between the darkness and the pink, always trying not to disturb the latter.

Kohe wasn't sleeping like she should, Tai knew. She could feel that, too, how scared and tired Kohe was when she woke each morning, and it broke Tai's heart, which was pretty hard to do. She was working up to being able to encapsulate the pink completely. She didn't understand the darkness, and so she didn't fear it. It didn't seem to hurt her, though it felt cold and sticky to the touch. But, like most things Tai interacted with, she erred on the side of diving in instead of shying away. There were a very few things Tai didn't embrace. Water was one of them. Kohe's fear, her pain, was another.

It'd been bad this morning, she knew. She could feel Kohe shaking, could feel her trying to suppress a scream. Tai wanted to roll over and go to her sister right then and there, but she exercised a self-control she wouldn't have shown anywhere else, with anyone else, and she waited to see whether Kohe wanted a hug or space. It was much, much harder for Tai to give space -- she'd always been much more dependent, much more people-oriented than her older sister -- but she would do it if it helped Kohe.

She would do anything if it helped Kohe.

Right now, she sat up without a word, staring somberly at her sister, before reaching behind her, to the window that spilled golden morning sunlight into the space between their beds (the "space" between their beds; as usual, clothes, books, toys, and a seemingly random collection of rocks, twigs, and leaves spilled from under Tai's bed to threaten Kohe's sacred space), and creating a soft, gentle swirl of mist from the light there. She took the warmth then, too, and wound it close around Kohe's trembling shoulders, like a shawl built of smoke and sunlight. It served no real purpose, except to try and make Kohe laugh. She'd always been the more serious twin, though she never hesitated to at least smile at Tai's antics.

Except in the mornings. When she was scared and tired, and it hurt Tai so bad, sometimes she wanted to scream. She hadn't said a word to anyone, not Papa, or Uncle Rask, not even Mama, with whom she shared almost everything (though her deepest secrets, she saved for Kohe and Kohe alone -- she never told Mama when she had nightmares about swimming), but it had been hard. She knew exactly why Kohe didn't want to tell their parents about anything, and she agreed, even if she didn't quite understand. Mama and Papa and Uncle Rask and even Aunt Lyra could all be...impressive in their over-protectiveness. Even Tai, who didn't have a negative thing to say about anyone, could see that.

But then Tai was not quite innocent of those things herself. She was a happy person by nature who saw only the best in everything, from a newborn babe to a raging inferno. She couldn't be angry if she tried. Even the petty fights all siblings came to ended with Tai giggling after trying to scowl at Kohe, and then tackling her sister and sitting astride her until Kohe broke down and forgave her.

But the idea of anyone, or anything repeatedly hurting Kohe made her feel...different. It was not a familiar feeling, and it was not one she liked. It was something she fought hard to control. Part of her was glad Kohe's nightmares were just that -- nightmares. She didn't think she would have been able to control those feelings otherwise.

For now, though, it was just Kohe, and Kohe was afraid, and Tai was awake, and now Kohe knew it.

She didn't wait for Kohe to ask. Even if she couldn't help her sister, she was going to make sure it never got to that. Kohe would never have to ask for help. Not if she could help it.

She scooted out of bed, hardly aware of the carpet of clothing and books beneath bare feet. That untamable lick of dark purple hair stuck straight up from her head, as if greeting the morning with a stiff wave. Tai was, as per usual, oblivious, having eyes only for her sister.

She pulled her gently from her dresser, voice gently.

"Oh, Kohe," she murmured. "C'mere." She pulled her sister gently into her arms, letting the wisp of sunlight drape itself over Kohe's head and shoulder, the warmth countering the chill of her nightmare. Kohe was taller than Tai -- only by a few inches, Tai was quick to remind -- but she was lithe and graceful, where Tai was all curves and baby fat. She wore it well enough, though it made her look younger than she was on occasion. Still. Tai liked to think she was only 'growing into' her yet-awkward, if beautiful, wings.

"It's okay, misetta. You're alright. It was...it was just a dream. Do you want to talk about it?"

 

[Kaisaan]

Kohe felt Tai's 'touch' like the balm it was supposed to be, the comfort her sister wanted it to be and the elder twin closed her eyes and let out a shaky sigh before turning toward her sibling, attempting a smile that she knew failed greatly and didn't reach her mismatched gaze at all. And then Tai was moving toward her and Kohe was letting her, welcoming her sister's embrace even as the tears started to slide down her face and her breathing grew hitched.

The warmth from the light her sister created and Tai's presence alone caused Kohe to relax, to release her tight control over her emotions as she let them out unashamedly now that she was safely in her twin's arms. Slender fingers curled into Tai's clothing at her back and Kohe let herself cry, let the fear overwhelm her for a moment before it started to pass, like a river's escape from a dam; the initial power was overwhelming before it spread out and drained away. She let it, knowing that her sister's presence, her Empathy would come to replace it and the elder twin would feel safe once more. That was what Tai was, she was safety and warmth, she was joy and everything that was happy and good.

She kept Kohe from going insane.

And yet her twin didn't entirely understand everything. Part of that was because she'd yet to tell Tai - and the reason for that was because she didn't entirely understand it herself. She merely had hunches, feelings and to Kohe's way of thinking, that wasn't enough. She needed to know before she started trying to explain.

But right now, she needed to talk, even if it was just about this one dream and the black-white haired Demisan pulled back a little from Tai's shoulder and straightened, sniffling before she moved back and sat on the edge of her bed, knowing Tai would follow. Kohe wiped at her tears with the palm of her hand, gaining control of herself again, not suppressing the emotions, but merely choosing when to express them, as she did with most everything at this age.

Things were trying enough without having to deal with emotional outbursts she couldn't control. Only the end of her rapidly twitching black and white tail gave evidence to how shaky, jittery she still was.

"It was dark. It's always dark, Pejkia. I don't know why. It's...it's like the suns have gone out and the world is cold, so bitterly cold but I can't see my breath. I can't see anything, but I can feel them, moving in the darkness. Sometimes I wonder if they are the darkness, but they don't all seem that way. I can hear actual movement from some of them sometimes, like they have a way to see in the dark that I don't." Kohe looked down to her hands, noting the crescent shapes there from her claws, not yet breaking skin, but coming close. She hadn't noticed the pain until now and stopped.

"There is such a terrible noise then, a shrieking and roaring and...I don't even know how to describe it, but it hurts, Tai. It hurts so much and I can hear people screaming in pain. I can't feel them, but I know. I know what is happening to them. They're being devoured by the darkness, they're....they're going out of existence and I know it, I...it's not a feeling. It's so much worse than a feeling, it goes beyond feeling."

She was crying again, silently, slowly and Kohe didn't care to stop it as she whispered her words, trembling again, remembering, experiencing once more, unable not to. It was so vivid.

"I was so scared. I wanted to help them, to do something and I almost felt I could, but then....then I was screaming too and there was blood, m-my blood I...I think and...there was pain and then...everything just went still and darker than dark and I woke up."

 

[DotCom]

Something about the way her sister described the dark -- not as an it, but a them -- made Tai feel funny. A cold sort of familiarity, like a half remembered nightmare, something she should have known, something she had known, intimately, a long, long time ago. But of course, that was wrong. There was nothing to darkness but darkness. She'd woken in the night to tell herself the same thing several times over the last few years.

There wasn't much Tai feared. Water was one thing. Losing Kohe was another. But her fear of darkness went deeper than any of them. It was, she figured, simple enough. Kohe didn't call her little sunbeam for nothing. Tai loved all things bright and happy -- mostly because they made her happy, too, but also because her powers, her strength, everything she was thrived in the light. When she stood in the sunlight, she could do incredible things, create anything she wanted with sunlight, moonlight, firelight, even the light reflected off the river she still shuddered to look at. She and Kohe were strange, different, she knew, but they were also strong, powerful for their ages. For Kohe, it meant so much more than it ever could for Tai. But Tai could craft her wishes out of the sun. She could even take her energy by absorbing light. It wasn't quite the same as eating or drinking or sleeping, but it would do in a pinch. It was all she'd ever wanted.

And yet...in the dark, she began to feel panicky, afraid. It would start with mere jitters, like those running through her sister now, and grow quickly to paranoia and hysteria. Too long, and she'd get headaches or nosebleeds. One time, she'd even passed out. She never dared carry it beyond that.

So, yes, when her sister spoke of the darkness -- especially when she could feel Kohe's fear as intimately as her own -- it only made sense that something would grow chill inside of her.

Before she could question it any further, she saw following Kohe's mismatched gaze to her hands, her fingers and claws, moving closer without saying a word to take her sister's hands in hers. Tai didn't have claws like Kohe did, just like Kohe didn't have the strip of iridescent black scales over her eyes, like a mask, like Tai did. For being twins, they didn't look all that much alike. But it didn't matter. Tai could feel Kohe like she could no one else, and right now, Kohe was scared.

She was quiet for a moment, letting her sister cry, but subtly manipulating her Empathy in a way her mother couldn't, quietly raising the mood in the room, working away at her sister's fear and apprehension, moving her gently toward a quiet, collected calm, where Kohe worked best, anyway.

She smiled at her sister and shook her head beneath a fringe of shaggy purple and white hair.

"It's okay, Kohe. That won't happen. I know it. You know how I know?" She paused a moment, but didn't really give her sister a chance to answer.

"Because I won't ever let anyone hurt you. Not ever. I promise."

She rocked to her knees and hugged Kohe again, tight, close, working to draw whatever remained of Kohe's fear out of her and harmlessly away into the air. And when she felt Kohe was a little better, she sat back and grinned.

"If anybody tries, I'll just lock 'em in a cage, like this." Tai hardly even blinked and at once Kohe was surround by the thick, golden bars of a sunlight bird cage. Her grin widened before she burst into giggles.

"See? Try to get out. You can't!" Kohe leapt up from the bed and danced away to the other side of the room...though she kept a careful eye on her sister's feelings and emotions.

 

[Kaisaan]

Kohe knew what Tai was doing, but she let her, not protesting it, not alarmed or irritated about it. She was grateful and slipped into the calm, stable state her twin had coaxed out of her with a relieved feeling, offering Tai a smile at her words...and then feeling it start to fade at what her twin spoke of, about protecting her, promising her. She instantly felt a spark of fear as something flitted on the edge of her 'vision', but then Tai was hugging her, drawing it away and Kohe was left with the feeling like she'd missed something very important, like she should say something but couldn't remember the words.

It was not a feeling she liked, but she tried not to focus on it, giving her attention to her younger sibling as Tai did what Tai did best; try to cheer her up with her playful, bubbly, beautiful nature.

And Kohe let her, let the happiness of her twin wash over her even if she wasn't quite sure she could feel that way herself yet.

Tai was making it nearly impossible not to smile, though, and the older Demisan did just that, finally letting out a giggle at her sister's excited, expectant, hopeful violet eyes. She shook her head, but did as directed, attempting to pull on the bars and then push on them, snorting in amusement to find that she couldn't get out at all, but that the bars were warm and friendly, light curling about her fingers. Leave it to Tai to make a friendly prison.

Only her little sister.

"All right, Pejkia, let me out. I need to shower."

As soon as she was free, Kohe stood and approached her twin, pulling Tai into a hug, mouth near the smaller Demisan's ear. "Thank you, Tai. I feel better now." She gave her sister's cheek a kiss and smiled, the expression reaching her eyes this time before she pulled away completely and grabbed her clothes, heading for the bathroom, calling over her shoulder as she went.

"Oh, and Father is planning to start your flight training today."

Kohe was grinning even before Tai reacted, knowing how elated her twin would be.