Depression

Have you been diagnosed?

  • Yes

    Votes: 6 50.0%
  • No

    Votes: 6 50.0%

  • Total voters
    12
I've struggled with it on & off since I was diagnosed at 12, but I think I may be close to the light at the end of the tunnel, as my symptoms and anxiety have lessened so much recently. But you know, just as I think that I'm getting better, it always comes back 15x as hard and knocks me into the dirt. xD
 
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From the list of prognosis' they had for me, they decided to stick depression onto me and medicate me. But you know, they're decreasing the medication for that and shifting me onto a completely different kind that is addictive. I'm kinda weird when it comes down to feeling depression, like I get these dips and rises in mood, sometimes I feel great, other times, I feel like I'm drowning in misery, these times can be as little as hours, you know? And people then tell me that isn't depression, well, it certainly effects how I live my life thank you very much.
 
I don't have depression as much as anxiety and if my anxiety gets too much, it does turn into depression.

I haven't been diagnosed by a doctor, but my boyfriend and I are pretty sure I have some anxiety issues. I stress out rather easily and if there's too much pressure I start to panic. Heart rate goes up tremendously, I get the shakes and sweats, I have occasionally gotten panic attacks but more often than not I puke even if there's nothing in my stomach.
 
I've had depression for about 8 years, I think. I have anxiety, too. Social situation scare me. I get all sweaty, I breathe funny, my heart races, and I sometimes dash to the nearest hiding spot so I can hyperventilate in private. Sometimes, this is a cause of my depression. >< Even so... I've refused to take medication. So over the years, I aspired to control my depression. I'm glad about the decision I've made. To this day, even when I feel at my worst, I'm able to push myself to go on with my life. Even though I'm carrying a heavy weight on my back, I'm still able to care for my son, take my showers, eat... There are so many things I can't afford to neglect, because it puts my boy at risk.

Lately though, it's been harder for me to do this. All my energy goes into caring for the baby, so there's nothing left to care for me. I'm drinking so much more coffee to stay awake, I've lost interest in so many things, I eat less, I never want to go out, I don't consider my hygiene as much, I'm returning to my bad habits of self harm... So I've finally broken down and decided to inquire about medication. My insurance won't cover therapy, so that's really my only choice. I'll try anything to restore order in my life. I'm trying to see about a medical marijuana card, too. I'd actually prefer that over pills. It doesn't come with iffy side effects, and I can sit in a social circle without feeling like I'm going to vomit or piss myself. *shame*

I'm doing other things to help myself, though! I'm taking college courses online, and picking up comic books again. :] At least I maintain interest in those things.
 
I self-medicated with marijuana for a long time and while it helped for quite a while, eventually it led to me becoming anxious every single time. I've had to stop completely an detox, for it made my anxiety so bad for a time that I could barely even talk to anyone besides my husband.

That could just be me, but I wanted to let you know regardless just as words of caution.
 
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I appreciate your input. :) Every person responds differently, I think. I've met some people who reacted the same way to pot after a while, actually. For some, it just makes things worse.

I've smoked it for a while now and all it's done is improve my health. Not just mentally, but physically too. I don't even have to use an inhaler anymore for my asthma. The stuff I smoke is all organic, too. Medical patients get it from this grower all the time. It numbs me enough that I'm able to have conversations without freaking out. I open up more, too. The more I use it, the more tolerant I am too of whatever side effects it comes with. I learned to control it so it won't control me. :3 I'm all around a happier person, too. When I'm high, I don't worry or feel any kind of sadness.

I will say though, I wish I could have a normal life without a crutch like that... Doesn't help that it's so expensive too.
 
Well hey, if it works for you, why not take advantage of it? Anything is better than when you're at your lowest, right? :) Hope it continues to help you.
 
Oh? We can mention anxiety disorders too? I think I get anxiety attacks, not as bad as I used to, like a year ago I was throwing up when faced with the prospect of going to school. But still sometimes my heart pounds with the force that it can be felt in my eyeballs. Speaking of weed, been tempted to try it but if it does have negative or permanent effects, I can't go back, I mean, I already have had troubles with paranoia and hallucinations, I don't want to boil my brains.
 
I've never been actually diagnosed, but I know I either have some sort of depression and high anxiety issues. I stress over the most littlest things and it causes a huge toll on my body. I've recently been so stressed and scared about things that I didn't eat for 3 weeks straight besides maybe a piece of toast or some crackers.

I really hate it and I've never tried any medication or therapy for it. I don't really like the idea of medication either, I was diagnosed with epilepsy when I was 12 and had to take medication. It turns out I was allergic to the type of meds they gave me and I almost died. They switched the meds but the new ones stuck to my throat and since they were Valporic Acid, it burned the back of my throat and my esophagus. :/ I also won't ever touch any sort of marijuana, I've had some past life experiences that turned me away from drugs.

I hope one day to not feel like this anymore, but I'm not sure if it would be possible. Maybe not anytime soon at least, there is still a lot of stress in my life at the moment, it even took me a few weeks to decide on whether I should come back to Iwaku or not. I'm glad I did though, it's actually helped talking to old friends again. :)
 
Never alone. Never.
 
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Why is everyone against taking medication? I may have gone through at least five different types with no success, but without their small benefits, I'm not sure I'd still be here. It's scary to think about, really. I used to hate the thought of putting pharmaceuticals into my body, but now I'd rather put my faith into modern medicine than watch my friends and family and even my dog suffer right in front of my eyes.
But even if you don't use anything, apparently therapy can help. Personally, I don't think I've had much benefit, but y'all should go for it!

Also, anxiety and depression often go hand in hand, so it's not surprising if you have both.
 
I've seen so many medications get recalled or end up causing deathly side-effects, also they can be addicting. A law was recently passed that pharmaceutical companies can now release any drug they want, regardless of the risks, and not be sued for it. I dunno about you, but that scares the ever-loving fuck out of me. I don't want to become a medicated zombie that can't stop the medicine whenever I want to. Addiction runs heavy in my family so I don't want to take the risk.
 
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True... My grandpa just died from Crestor (a cholesterol-reducer) shutting down his kidneys. At 83, he'd still been playing tennis, teching theater, and building everything from electronics to sets - by no means was he done.
And y'know how most drugs have a generic version? Those don't have any of the same standards the regular kind do, which is probably why they're so ridiculously cheap.

But for me, it's either face certain death hands-down or die trying. And the medication I'm on now seems to be working! (Sort of... I still have those days, but it's better than it was.)
 
I'm not saying all medication is bad, I just personally choose to avoid them as much as I can. I've been having memory issues lately and it might be due to my epilepsy coming back, which freaks me out, but if that's the case I'm going to have to go back on Valporic to subdue the blackouts I get. I know medication is used to help people, but I like to not have to use it for as long as I can. ^^
 
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I think it's got something to do with stigmas involved with mental health and health in general. As if needing medication is a sign of weakness or something. I have thought that the medication I do take is bad, but that tends to be due to the influence of others and it being past midnight.

That only seems to be in the US, that law. Because I have been denied certain drugs due to dangers involved, the worst side effects I have are a dry throat and occasional muscle tremors.
 
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I'm not sure what causes it, but there are days where I am terrified of going to work. It's not a feeling of "Eeeehh, I don't want to work." Its a legit panic moment of "Oh holy hell I have to work today...!" And usually its not so bad and I can get through it, but then other days it comes so strong that I leave the phone off the hook to make sure that I can't talk with them. Like today. My phone is still off the hook, even though my shift has been over for an hour, because I'm still worried they'll call and ask me why. "Why didn't you come in? Did something happen at work? Do you have a problem with the job?" The answer to those are no, nothing happened and no, I actually really like this job. Well, as much as anyone can like being a deli clerk, I suppose...

This is actually the reason I quit my last job. I thought it was just the stress at the other store, but obviously its more to do with me.

My mom briefly suggested getting counselling for this, but nothing really ever came of it. I don't think she believes me, really.
 
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I can relate, Lulu. I quit a job that I liked because of panic attacks. I was a cashier for Cabela's, which ain't glamorous but the merchandise was interesting, I liked most of the customers, and it paid really well! I'm such an introvert, though. Cashiering is an extroverted job. xP So every time I had to go to work, I'd be really scared and by the time I'd get home, I'd be extremely exhausted. People who don't fit into social settings very well put a lot of energy into being so smiley, happy, talkative, etc...

Maybe you're like me, where office jobs are better for you? Being an office assistant was best for me because I only had to talk to a handful of people. Better yet, they were the SAME people all the time. Mostly though, I worked at a computer and talked to nobody at all. Inventory, too. I liked that because I mostly spent time in the warehouse.

Counseling really might help. They could give you some exercises on coping with the feelings you get from work. It sure helped me a lot.
 
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not depressed just not a social person in RL I'm usually the person who's quite and off to the side, and unless I actually know them I don't like talking to people only new people I've ever talked to are friends of friends. Main cause was probably all the bullying in 3-7 grade so instead of being a nail to get hammered down I just shut up and shut out most people.
 
Wow, Lulu, we're in the same boat here. I only ever have lasted 2 weeks or a little more at jobs because my anxiety got so bad. If I had to work at 3 PM, I'd be worrying about it up until I had to go in, and then couldn't sleep that night because I was worrying about work the next day. It's gotten a little better, but I haven't worked since February, so that could be why. I hope your symptoms stop soon, and I'm very sorry that's happening to you. Same to you, Fluffy. :(
 
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