Depression and how you deal with it...

Discussion in 'THREAD ARCHIVES' started by Mid, Sep 2, 2015.

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  1. Or deal with those around you suffering from it.

    Right now, reading a convo about it and a comment was made about it in regards to not being alone in dealing with depression and your situation will change (summarized version).

    I personally have been struggling with depression for many years, possibly since elementary school. I was known as the girl who hardly smiled and just very uncomfortable with making friends. When my father and his family left me, it probably got worse. I started smiling I'm middle school, made a few friends and yes, it did hurt to smile for a while. The muscles in my face hurt really bad but eventually, it went away.

    My depression came and went, I'm mostly a home body and I have trouble having conversations with people that don't revolve around gossip or things I consider boring and it's literally made me very closed off. I barely talk to my friends now and I don't like going outside when it's warm. There have been times when it's so severe that I don't want to exist anymore and I cry til my eyes burn asking God why?

    A friend of mines committed suicide a year after high school. No one knew he was depressed. He was very well liked and we all considered him a friend. It was very hard being at his wake, to see his mother looking so defeated but it's a memory that I have kept with me, 8 years later as to why I have to stay.

    There are so many different levels of depression to were oh I was dumped, let me watch sad movies and eat ice cream for a week and I'm okay to where there is something inside of us that no matter what we do, we feel like we're being eaten alive and it can last for months. do you deal with it?

    I go through a long period of solitude. Watching a lot of movies/shows/youtube or listening to music. I've started knitting which is pretty good at keeping my anxiety down or I hang out in cbox for a while until I get overwhelmed lol. I do look for ways to keep busy. I love to work and hate long vacations.
  2. This... Sounds like it would better belong in counseling. :ferret:

    Also, beware depression versus plain sorrow. Everyone feels sorrow. Depression doesn't just "go away", it hangs around. Nor does it typically trigger in childhood save in cases of extraordinary traumatic episodes--though genetic depression is usually started in puberty, so it's common for long-term depression to start when one becomes a teenager. For more information, try reading this, since I'm not a psychiatrist. Just a person who's been in the system for a couple years or so. :ferret:

    If, you, or a friend, or a family member, seem to be feeling a genuine case of depression as in the mental disorder, then you need to seek out a therapist. You need a medically trained professional to help diagnose your case and get you what you need--which may or may not include drugs--because you and your family are generally not trained appropriately to diagnose such things... Leave alone properly treat them, no matter how earnest your intentions might be.

    If, however, it's just a case of the blues, it's okay to feel that way sometimes. Everybody falls down. Cry, eat ice cream, stare at pictures of Megan Fox in slow motion CGI shots in shitty movies--do whatever it takes to get back on your feet. Just don't start hating yourself... You're the only ally you'll have for your entire life. Don't go throwing that away. I usually close off from most of the world save for close friends and family, and my girlfriend, and I play lots of video games. Sometimes I'll write, but sorrow makes it difficult to concentrate on storytelling.

    Hope that's helpful. Sorry about your buddy, hope he rests in peace.
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  3. If a staffer wants to move it, that's fine. I just don't really go into that section because it's way too sad and was curious of those thoughts who do deal with it and those who don't.

    And that's kind of why I brought up the topic because in cbox it was kind of said to be a mind over matter kind of issue and I just don't like or see it as that way. If it were that easy, I feel a little of people wouldn't resort to substance abuse or self harm or do worse to stop feeling that pain. Sometimes, while I am completely aware that those kinds of comments do come from a very good place with no ill intentions, I take it as if it were diminishing the pain that I feel and it makes me wonder, am I being selfish for taking something a person is saying in a way to make me or another person feel better in such a negative way? When I am told things like that, it instantly makes me end the conversation and say oh thank you, it made me feel better and I appreciate that when really, I'm like...I don't think you get what I'm saying so maybe I should just stop talking before I get frustrated.

    And thank you, that was very sweet <3


    Y U NEVAH IN CHAT?! JEEZ, I always like your reasonable and mature responses!
  4. I'm not really welcome there. It's probably best if I avoid it. If you want to contact me over Skype or Steam though...

    Skype: brovo196
    Steam: Search for "Brovo" and add the Canadian one who has a hobo-ish looking guy as an avatar. This is me. :ferret:

  5. My personal experience with Depression is honestly semi-limited.
    Both of my ex-girlfriends had it (well one was diagnosed, the other self-diagnosed), a friend of mine has it, and two of my cousins do.
    Though the ex's I was either with briefly, or the depression didn't pop up until near the end.
    And the cousins I simply don't end up seeing that often.

    The only real advice with it I can really give (other than that what's in the quote is 110% false) is that showing care, support and affection is important.
    But mind the difference between showing affection, and suffocating with affection. Everyone need's personal space and room to breathe, those with Depression even more so.

    That, and although Brovo is right when he says:
    It's also worth clarifying that it does fade in and out.
    You might have moments of happiness, and then later on you feel like crap.
    You could get a great few days (or even week) and then suddenly you're crashing down.

    It varies a ton from person to person.
    In short though, someone shouldn't beat themselves up for smiling when they have depression.

    That, and for God's sake see a Doctor about it if you have Depression!
    Not just so you can know for sure rather than it be a self-diagnose (you might have something else, you might just have a rough patch) but so you can get professional help and guidance, may that be through medicine, therapy etc.
    #5 Gwazi Magnum, Sep 3, 2015
    Last edited: Sep 3, 2015
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  6. That is the wonderful thing about depression, there can be literally nothing wrong with your life and you can be completely content with it, but still swimming in depression, and then it starts the death spiral of self-loathing because you're depressed for no reason. @______@

    To manage myself I focus on one problem at a time and set small goals. As soon as I am aware of something that is a trigger for one of my moodswings, I take steps to correct it or counter it. Two weeks ago, I discovered this is actually a legitimate form of therapy that is used, called Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. O______O So you might wanna look in to that!

    Like, one of my self-hate problems is that I feel like a shitty House Elf because I can't dig up the energy or will to do simple house chores. So I have been working on "baby step" ways to do little chores everyday. Even if it's just picking up the trash on my table, or swishing out the toilet. It never seems like much, but little by little it adds up.

    Another is that I don't feel pretty or feminine, so I try to routinely do little beauty girl things. File my nails, put on nice lotion, wash my face, brush my teeth. force myself to shower and put one something other than pajamas. Some weekends I feel like "I'm not leaving the house today because I look like Sasquatch." and those are they days I have to do something extra, like a fancy bubble bath. ><

    The moooost important thing is creating a good positive habit in response. Even if you have to FORCE IT. Even if you have to get help from someone else to HELP you force it. And if you fail some days, to NOT beat yourself up about it. Sometimes you just have to be glad you managed to get out of bed that day and call it a victory. o__o

    You'll see a lot of people turn to substance abuse and cutting with depression. D: They get a rush from "fixing" the problem, unfortunately those are bad and destructive habits. You have to build habits that are healthy for you.
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  7. My experience with depression in my opinion is somewhat mild. After my mom died two years ago (two weeks after my birthday to be exact), I have been suffering from some symptoms. I don't play video games as often as I used to, I shut myself away (although I've always been an introvert so no surprise there), I've lost weight according to some of my friends, and I have feelings of hopelessness sometimes. Basically like I lost a piece of myself that I'll never get back and that no matter what I do, something will always be missing.

    Hell I even cry at things that usually wouldn't make me cry. For example, I can hardly watch Snow White and The Seven Dwarfs anymore because of the funeral scene and the ending scene making me sob like crazy. I even cried when I saw Frozen for the first time and heard Let It Go.

    As for how I deal with it, playing video games does help and watching funny videos on YouTube does too. Sometimes I rant and vent and I'll rarely write a short story. I try to avoid talking about my mom because in all honesty, it just makes things worse.

    Basically I just take things one day at a time and try to get myself out of bed so I can at least do something with myself.
  8. I could not justify calling your symptoms mild. Just because you don't seem to have suicidal ideations or have a want for self harm, doesn't mean you aren't on the severe side of the spectrum. Now, if say, it were more good days then bad, that's mild.
  9. Yeah I do have good days sometimes. Most days are mediocre for me now.
  10. Having to deal with people close to you suffering from depression can be excruciatingly difficult. For starters, you cannot fix them. This is an utter pile of shit you're forced to accept, no matter how much you want to help them. You can facilitate little things, but the big work is up to them and probably therapy. It's also very hard to be the counselling friend because depressed persons do need to express their selves and this is sometimes done in seemingly very toxic and destructive ways. Be that intentional or unintentional. A lot of depressed persons go through states where just do not care, at which point you start to realise how much built-in empathy we people actually have in daily life. A depressed person aware of this may even try to push you out of their life for this reason. Or, well, do the exact opposite, which is far more dangerous.

    Make sure to protect yourself before tending to them. If you do tend to them, make sure you're read into the basics and have a way to distance yourself when needed. Most likely you will also need a third party you can trust to deal with your feelings; a friend or family member to confide in (this is important especially for the more altruistic amongst us because they will tell you when you're sacrificing too much). It's very difficult to just stay strong in these scenarios. Many people trying to deal with depressed persons end up self-destructive also.

    It's really difficult to pin down one way to deal with depressed people, if there's a one way to deal with them at all (there's not). They are dealing with feelings most of us simply do not understand and are often the result of a chemical imbalance rather than a logical reason. People dealing with it have different needs and means of expression. I wish I had a universal answer. I do not.
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  11. As I've aged, depression has become a cycle that takes longer each year. The stable points between the highs and the lows have extended.

    What helps you get over the peaks and troughs and back to the baseline is radical experience. I've changed jobs every 1-2 years, moved house frequently, emigrated and saved up for vacations and strange artistic/academic pursuits.

    These things remind the body and soul that life is stranger than depression. There's always the next thing coming, for better or worse.
  12. Honestly? I literally just cry every night until it goes away, and push my self to tolerate it. Ignore my thoughts of suicide because I am smart enough to realize how utterly stupid that would be since I will feel fine once it goes away.... .____.

    Oh and watching funny videos on youtube seems to help a bit :3
  13. This reminded me.
    The same hormone that get's released from these actions (that gives the feel good sensation) is also gained by running.
    So if someone ever feel like's cutting themselves? Just go for a Jog instead.
  14. Fighting Depressing is a bit like trying to climb a mountain without any gear. There are so many ways you can slip and fall further into it, but the only way up is to keep going. Depressions are terrible, slogging messes of selfdoubt, anxiety and other by byproducts of a mind that for some reasons turned almost self destructive.

    If there is a few things I learned from years of battling my own.

    Don't isolate yourself: Talk to people. I know this is terribly hard to do, depression and mental ill health is taboo for most people up to the point, and sometimes after you mentioned it. We just don't want to admit it to ourselves and especially not to others. But the more you hold it in, the farther you separate yourself from others. Depression has a way to turn everyone into negative point of reference as, but isolation will make you that negative point. Doubts of selfworth, social anxiety and the like thrive when you isolate yourself.

    There is no inherent rationality: Depression varies and causes different kinds of troubles for each individual. It can be triggered, it can be genetic. But what ever reason it appears, it will not make a whole lot of sense. As Diana stated, you can have an amazing life and still fall into depression. As Brovo mentioned, it can be genetic and be triggered by the onset of puberty. If that's the case, then it is never fully going away. Depressions, quite honestly, can be alarmingly confusing. And like Kestrel have put in his post, it might not make sense to outsiders. In the end, the one who faces the Depression is you.

    It changes your perception: Your mind will focus on negatives automatically. It is gonna take a effort from you to find the positives in things. But that effort is worth it more then you realize. That effort is what helps you go forward. In some instances, you might find yourself with a growing sense of apathy. When that happens, you might have to brute force yourself into caring. Do it, as weird as it sounds.

    Ways to ease it: Depression is rooted in your brain chemistry. There are ways, entirely natural ways, to try and alleviate it. Gwazi mentioned running, which isn't that bad of an idea. A healthy body does lead to a healthier mind. Working out, running, jogging, just going for long walks rewards your body and mind with feel good chemicals. Physical activity tend lend positive cases of routine to your life as well, something that can have a positive impact on your mind set. There is also what Diana mentioned; Cognitive Behavioral Therapy. This is is used for many things, not only Depression and I owe most like my current mental health to this. C B T does not magicly cure you, but it gives you the tools to battle your condition.

    Depression has buddies: It's very important that Depression is more then just feeling down like Brovo said. A Depression bring with it some serious baggage. Self-Loathing being the most common. Apathy (which, when taken to the extreme and coupled with self-loathing is extremely dangerous). Social Anxiety is another thing that isn't to uncommon for severely depressed people. All of these are important to keep in mind when dealing with someone Depressed. As Kestrel said, make sure you yourself have a place to retreat to, and to put some space between you and the Depressed if need be.
    #14 Hellis, Sep 4, 2015
    Last edited: Sep 4, 2015
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