Dealbreakers

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dragonesper

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We all have them, those core things we can't relinquish for any kind of partnership that would lead to cohabiting with a person of our choice.
It can be ethics, a living habit or something else entirely that you sincerely can't give up or compromise.

For me it's keeping cats. A lot of my future plans involve having my cats with me, to me they are precious companions. Even if the person I might get serious with is allergic to cats, I will value the presence of my feline companions higher.


How about you guys? What kind of thing(s) would you never give up? And no bickering! We all value different things, what might be silly to one is important for someone else.
 
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dragonesper said:
We all have them, those core things we can't relinquish for any kind of partnership that would lead to cohabiting with a person of our choice.
It can be ethics, a living habit or something else entirely that you sincerely can't give up or compromise.

For me it's keeping cats. A lot of my future plans involve having my cats with me, to me they are precious companions. Even if the person I might get serious with is allergic to cats, I will value the presence of my feline companions higher.


How about you guys? What kind of thing(s) would you never give up? And no bickering! We all value different things, what might be silly to one is important for someone else.
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Easy For Me:
1. My Dreams
2. Energy Drinks
3. Having Pets, Any Kind
4. My Friends
5. Family
6. Independence
7. Iwaku (You feel me, you know you do XD)
8. Youtube
9. Partying
10. Flirting With People (Only fun flirting)
11. Meat (Sorry Vegans)
12. Having Children One Day (I want like ten, seriously, don't judge me XD)
13. Moving to Italy one day
14. Traveling (When I become a big named Actor)

Probably more to think about but yeah those are 14 things I will NEVER give up, no matter how hot a guy or girl is, no way Jose XD.
 
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I dunno man. I'm pretty chill and laid back. About the only things I couldn't be convinced to give up are my skeptical mindset and writing. The former because it's saved my ass far too many times to get rid of, and it's core to my concept of reality--I can't live without it and still conceivably be who I am. The latter, because it's the venue for my soul.

Otherwise, I could give up quite a bit, for the right person willing to give just as much. That being the key quality there--equal giving. If someone wants me to give up video games or whatever else, that's cool by me--just don't change me purely to suit your whimsy, and be willing to give up just as much if you want me to give up anything.
 
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I'm a simple man.

I will not, can not let go of my own personal religious beliefs that I chose to have after spending so long in meditation and contemplation on whether I would even be religious or not.
I shall not nor will ever let anyone make my family or friends who I consider as such be tossed aside let alone allow them to become between me and them.
I can not and must never allow anyone take away the very independence and the very rights that I hold sacred and deer.
Finally I won't tolerate anyone who takes what is knowingly mine away from me. Be it my money, my honor or my property. If I give a gift, than it is yours to keep and for the most part I am willing and even eager to share many things, so long as it is accepted that in the end, should something happen and I break up with said person, those things are still MINE.
 
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My personal space. I'm a rather introverted person who doesn't really like being touched all the time and retreats to solitude when I get tired of dealing with people. I could not bear to live with someone who can't understand that and leave me alone when required.

Video games and anime are two of my favorite pastimes. I couldn't deal with someone who shits on them and says I should stop doing what I enjoy. The other person being into them would be a bonus, but tolerance is enough.

I also like to flirt with people for fun and sometimes write smutty roleplays. If someone is so stupidly possessive/jealous that they'd try to make me change my ways, nope, they can leave.

Oh, and my sense of humor is kind of a big deal. If they can't stand the fucked up shit I say for my own amusement then it's probably best we go our separate ways.

Oh, and I guess our political and religious views would have to be either similar or at a tolerable level of difference. As much as I love debating people, I'd rather not do it every time a hot issue comes up, so I couldn't deal with someone who's strongly religious and hates on atheistic views, or someone who opposes gay marriage, or who thinks vaccines are evil, etc. Disagreement is fine, but not diametrically opposed views.

I think that's it. Leave me my fun and my personal space and I can deal with a lot of other shit.
 
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Dealbreakers..

I tend go on binges. Either shows, anime, games, writing. Please let me binge, it makes me feel better. Don't judge me or make me try to be more "active" in something else :c

Like Jorick mentioned, I enjoy random flirting and I have no issues talking about sexy stuff, so I guess if the person is ashamed of sex or sexual activities, omg, you and I are NOT a good fit. I hate kinkshamers.

I love my cats unconditionally. Sorry not sorry.

I'm polyamorous. If they're excessively jealous and/or possessive... Hmmm.. :|

I'm kinda touchy with someone I'm intimate with, but since I don't have any peripheral vision, I don't like being touched in the back or on the sides when I'm not expecting it.

Sometimes I need my own space to listen to music or brood because it's that time of the month. Deal with it!

I'm a moderate smoker. I don't vape. I don't smoke inside. I don't stink because I don't smoke a lot. If they can't tolerate this, well, sorry boo. It's an addiction and not something I want to quit at the moment.

Just as long as I'm respected and wanted, everything else is A-OK. :)
 
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Basically, my free time. I work and give so much time to others that I have precious little truly for myself.

If I feel like being with her or spending the night together, then it happens but usually only that way. And I accept suggestions and recommendations, but not direction.
 
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... There's a lot I wouldn't, but it mostly comes down to keeping agency over my own life.

It might be the way it's phrased or the examples given, but I don't believe in forcing one's preferences upon another. I mean you keep them in mind, like say, for example if I'd fall for a smoker, I could ask her if she wouldn't smoke in the house or during pregnancy, but I would never ask them to give up smoking altogether, despite personally finding it tasteless and dumb. I think it'd be very unhealthy for me to chip away at what makes a person happy individually, because a relationship is ultimately happiness shared. This is why I wouldn't do it and probably wouldn't click to well with a partner who didn't at least try to also get into that kind of mindset.

Which I guess is a really lame and overcomplicated way of describing my dealbreaker.
 
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I'm a very sacrificing person. However I do have a few deal breakers.

1. My religion. It's my choice to believe in what I wish and I won't give that up for anyone.

2. Writing. It's my stress relief. Expecting me to give that up would be folly. Same goes for expecting me to change to way I write (ie stop writing fantasy and do something non fiction.)

3. Insulting and hating people I love and care about. I'm totally fine with disagreeing with them, arguing even. But insults and hatred isn't something I'll tolerate.

4. Hating animals, especially cats. O.O I would actually be fine if someone is allergic to them. But outright hate is a no no.

I just realized that these kind of apply not just to a romantic partner but even friends in general.
 
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I'm a pretty accommodating guy, but I also value my freedom, so expecting me to do shit that will fuck with my ability to have fun at a moment's notice is going to kill my enthusiasm for the relationship. So things like starting a family and giving up my hobbies & friends will very quickly end things between us.
 
1. If they smoke it's a dealbreaker. Doesn't matter what it is. I'm asthmatic, that shit could trigger an attack, which leads to headaches and a racing pulse and a very angry me.
2. If they try to take away my roleplaying. That's a big no no. I will write what I want dammit.
3. Not wanting to play ANY games with me. Because I'm a gamer, both of the video and board variety. I don't care what others might say, I like playing games and staying in. I'm a hermit.

Other than that....I guess being super clingy would be a dealbreaker....since my moods can change easily depending on the circumstance I'd end up snapping at them and then they'd get all pissed...so it's not a dealbreaker per say...just a thing that wouldn't work with my personality.
 
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LunaValentine said:
1. If they smoke it's a dealbreaker. Doesn't matter what it is. I'm asthmatic, that shit could trigger an attack, which leads to headaches and a racing pulse and a very angry me.
2. If they try to take away my roleplaying. That's a big no no. I will write what I want dammit.
3. Not wanting to play ANY games with me. Because I'm a gamer, both of the video and board variety. I don't care what others might say, I like playing games and staying in. I'm a hermit.

Other than that....I guess being super clingy would be a dealbreaker....since my moods can change easily depending on the circumstance I'd end up snapping at them and then they'd get all pissed...so it's not a dealbreaker per say...just a thing that wouldn't work with my personality.
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I love when people write exactly what I want to say so I can be a lazy sea slug.

Only thing I want to add is if you try to make me change my interests or hobbies or pressure me to give things up from my life prior to you, you're not going to last long. I would never tell someone they had to change for me, I expect the same.

Of course, that doesn't apply to bad habits like say leaving dishes out or not cleaning enough or whatever, everyone should be willing to improve themselves for the sake of both of your well being. However, if I routinely liked to wear a paper hat and a speedo around the apartment while listening to polka music and wearing crocs filled with strawberry jam, you best accept that that masterful way of life is who I am, and it's goddamn staying.

I feel like I should specify that I was pulling a ridiculous example out of my ass and that totally isn't a thing I do.

I wear water shoes and listen to country instead.
 
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Dervish said:
I love when people write exactly what I want to say so I can be a lazy sea slug.

Only thing I want to add is if you try to make me change my interests or hobbies or pressure me to give things up from my life prior to you, you're not going to last long. I would never tell someone they had to change for me, I expect the same.

Of course, that doesn't apply to bad habits like say leaving dishes out or not cleaning enough or whatever, everyone should be willing to improve themselves for the sake of both of your well being. However, if I routinely liked to wear a paper hat and a speedo around the apartment while listening to polka music and wearing crocs filled with strawberry jam, you best accept that that masterful way of life is who I am, and it's goddamn staying.

I feel like I should specify that I was pulling a ridiculous example out of my ass and that totally isn't a thing I do.

I wear water shoes and listen to country instead.
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10/10 approved....as long as it isn't the newer country music :p
 
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1. Needs to tolerate both Dark Humour and Puns
These are my two main styles of humour, without I don't got much else in trying to laugh or make other people laugh. Asking me to stop doing either or is basically saying "I don't want you to laugh".

2. Needs to be good with Bluntness
I am proficient if only a few social graces. And putting things nicely is not one of them. I don't mean malice or ill-intent when I'm Blunt, it's just who I am. If the other person is going to be hurt every time I'm blunt about something then our time together is going to be limited.

3. Needs to respect my Skeptic/Critical Nature
My teen years of exploring stuff like Religion has made me highly prise my Skeptic side. It's played a huge role into making me the individual I am and allowing me to grow. And in all honesty, ever since I was a little kid it's always been natural to me to keep asking "Why" to extents most people get annoyed by. So whoever I with needs to understand I'm usually skeptic of something, and even if I agree with something I'm still going to try to pick it apart for any flaws it might have.

4. Doesn't resort to stuff like Guilt Trips
I've grown up in a family where Guilt Trips are a common tactic. They idolise it, saying that it's a way to pull at people's hearts and convince them to do the right thing. But in truth, it's cold, ruthless manipulation. You play at peoples insecurities, you make them feel less valuable as a person, you tear them apart at their very core so that they agree with you. It is revolting, it is despicable and personally speaking I'm outright ashamed it's a tactic my own family resorted to when getting support for my own Autism Therapy. I've seen (and felt) the negative effects it can have on people, and I outright refuse for such a mentality to follow me once I move out.

5. Needs to respect my own personal interests
Gaming, Anime, Roleplaying? These are things I enjoy, and I have grown up with. It has been a huge positive influence in my life, and I cannot bring myself that any individual meant to be good/healthy for me would try to take such joys away. They don't need to share the same interests (though it'd be a HUGE boon) but they need to at least respect them.
 
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