Deal Breakers

  • Thread starter Fel of the Eternal Forest
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Fel of the Eternal Forest

Original poster
C'mon, everyone's got them - that list of things that on a first date make you go 'uh. No. See ya, you're fronting the bill.'

SO, my question is:

What are your deal breakers?


What do you consider an instant attraction?

By this, we're assuming that certain looks are a factor, but we're looking for mannerisms, likes, dislikes, ect. This is already the first date.

My Deal Breakers:

  • Having more than 3 cats.
  • Having tattoos, or constantly talking about said cats.
  • Extreme dislike of gaming, having certain tastes is fine, hating it all is a big NO.
  • Constantly chattering about things that don't really matter. Small talk is okay, but too much and you're obviously not looking for a relationship.
  • Talking at any point on the date about how her ex used to do things for her. I'm not him, get over it.
  • Telling me my religion is wrong, and I should repent.
  • Talking about sexual experiences she's had. I want a lover, not a freak.
My Instant Attractions:

  • Passion for music
  • Cutesy fidgeting (but not a constant thing, like once in a while)
  • The ability to hold up a conversation about politics or religion without expressly telling me I'm wrong in an angry manner, if you think I'm wrong, explain yourself.
  • Love of sports, specifically the Mariners, Seahawks, Huskies or Grizzlies.
  • Love of videogames, roleplaying (sexual is nice too, but that comes at a later date)
  • Love of food. Not the holy shit, you ate everything on the buffet love of food, but an appreciation of taste love of food.
Deal breakers

Closed mindedness, bigots
too much make-up
Excessive drinking


Teeth (creepy face)
Shorter than me
Deal breakers:
  • Distaste for showers (don't laugh, it's come up!)
  • Dislike for animals
  • Pressing their religion on me
  • Inability to joke

  • Tattoos
  • Ability to actually converse about a broad range of topics
  • Personal opinions and the ability to defend them!
  • Personal pride
Kids. I'm a fucking kid why would I want any of mine?
Deal Breakers:

  • Thinks gaming is a waste of time.
  • Hates reading/Doesn't read often (if they have a choice).
  • Spoiled.
  • Takes things for granted.
  • Can't have a serious conversation with them.


  • Enjoy hobbies similar to me.
  • My height, or a bit shorter. I don't mind dating a girl who's a bit taller, but not so tall that hugging her gives me a face full of boobs (not that I mind that).
  • Can be romantic, yet can also just chill out and talk to me like a friend.
  • Keeps herself clean and looking nice. I don't mean she has to be all glossed up in makeup. But a woman who takes a little time to keep herself looking nice is a woman who respects herself.
  • Can tell me when I'm wrong when I am and right when I am, without fearing the "OHGODHEWON'TLOVEME" thing.

Overtly spiritual/religious attitude.
Anti-scientific stupidity.
Un-rationally trusting your knee jerk reactions and gut feelings over objective facts.
"Everything is just an opinion" spineless middle-ground failure behaviour.
Dumb mentally ingrown "anyone criticizing anything is an elitist" knee-jerk reactions.
Only paying attention to artistic aesthetic (shallow cunt-ism).
Tryhard faux-worldly-wise cynicism passed off as being deep and experienced.


Sensible, rational, and devout adherence to beliefs.
Willingness to metaphorically piss on other people's beliefs and enter conflict for the sake of self-discovery, strengthening belief, and ideological supremacy/"fighting for what's right".
Sceptical worldviews that are based on facts rather than feelings and conspiracy.
Iron will.
Worldly aware and worldly concerned.
Eegads, no one wants religion shoved down their throats?




Not going to sign up for that.
Deal breakers:

  • Not letting me be my own person.
  • Not letting me have alone time (not 'alone' alone time, but time to be alone and just relax by myself reading a book or something)
  • Forcing her views on politics and religion on me. I respect people's opinions on those things, but if they differ from mine I don't want them trying to convince me that I'm wrong and that their way is correct. I don't try to do that to others and don't appreciate it when they try to do that to me.
  • She has to be ok with me being in a band and playing music. I have done this since I was six years old, and I am probably going to be playing music until the day that I die. If she ever asked me to give up music or risk losing her, I will always pick music.
  • And to go along with the music thing, she has to be able to deal with me staying out late on gig nights. It's a source of income for me, and with the band thing comes the social aspect, where I have to whore out our band in order to sell more cds and tshirts. For me it's a job that is incredibly fun to do, but it's still a job.
  • Being ok with my tattoos and nipple piercing.
  • And she has to be ok with animals (preferably kitties)
Deal breaker:
- Snobby, think they are better than everyone and brag about it.
- Judgmental of any type, Especially on first look.
- No sense of humor, also they take sarcasm to personally.
- Doesn't listen or seem interested in any way.
- One track mind, on any subject. Not able to expand a conversation.
-Easily angered or irritated over simple things.
- Bringing up their Ex.
- (again) Throwing religious or political views in my face, and telling me my views are wrong.

(among many other things)
-Good open conservationist.
-Tattoos and piercings
-Awesome sense of humor. Not sensitive about sarcasm or darker humor.
-Has some sort of past. ( I like to feel like I'm not the only one with a crazy life story)
-Has respect and love for family and friends, but is not dependent or obsessed with them.
-Strong willed and confident.
-Taller than me, and slightly larger body type.
-Passionate, loving and understanding of all of me.
Deal Breakers
- Unhealthy or weird obsession over anything. (Like religious fanatic, can't stop talking about Star Trek, Etc)
- Treating people like shit. (their friends, family, or even waiters!)
- Abusing animals, or talking about abusing animals.
- Looking down on or snubbing MY hobbies.
- Talking about exes.
- Bad teeth. Really. I haaaate bad teeth. >>; I don't want to kiss someone missing his teeth.
- Bossing me around.

- A love of ren fair or fantasy goodness! Swords, costuming, and fun!
- A love for playing pretend, being silly, and overall not taking self too seriously.
- A passion for music of many different kinds!
- Talking to me about serious stuff, without talking DOWN to me like I'm stupid.
- Knowing how to talk to me and ask me to do things without ordering me to do it. :D
Actually, I could deal with someone who's very religious. One of my biggest crushes was a Christian girl who constantly talked about Jesus. Then again, she didn't force the religion on anybody... >>; I'm also okay with them talking about their exes, especially if it makes them feel better about what bad things went on. *shrugs* Someone truly interested in me would know when to stop bringing that subject up, I think.


My Deal Breakers:
- Tons of tattoos. I'm sorry, but making it so we can't see a single spot of not-inked skin is yucky to me.
- Lazy image. Like, someone who wears the same clothes for days without taking them off. X__x I dated someone like that. He wouldn't even shower in between wearing said clothes...
- Always just talking about themselves the entire time! I am more of a listener than a talker, but I like to have a little bit of room to speak, too. Makes for new conversations and whatnot.
- If they're not even a LITTLE BIT nerdy. How can I get along with someone who doesn't game, or think computers are sexy, or enjoys comic books? D:
- People who be hatin' on my music. 'Nuff said.
- People who like what I consider crappy music. >>; Music's just a big important part of my life. If our musical tastes don't line up, then you are O-U-T, OUT.
- Telling me I have to dress more femininely. I'm sorry, I'm uncomfortable in girl shorts, dresses and skirts. >:[ If I'm not pretty enough in my usual wardrobe, then gtfo. I'll dress prettier for you spontaneously when I feel it's appropriate...

My Instant Attractions:
- Mm, piercings. <3
- Someone who's dorky and silly. If you can make me laugh often enough, then I already love you.
- A person who loves animals, especially cats.
- If you like any of the following, you're awesome: Comic books, video games, computers, science, Star Wars and action figures.
- Someone who'd enjoy going to concerts with me, and also be able to protect me from the jerks in the mosh pits.
- Knowing that I'd rather have a video game or stack of comics for a gift instead of a diamond ring.

EDIT: Wow... I wrote a lot. x-x
; I'm also okay with them talking about their exes, especially if it makes them feel better about what bad things went on. *shrugs* Someone truly interested in me would know when to stop bringing that subject up, I think.
Take it from a guy: when a man brings up his exes on the first date, it's not a good sign at all. It doesn't show we're interested at all, we're still hung up on someone obviously. After the first date (say after both parties decide it's committed) then bringing up exes is fine.

a. I like my games. I'm very open to compromise regarding the amount of time I play, if it means making more time for you, but I'm not cutting games out completely. Nocando. (Common theme here, isn't it?)
b. Music. My tastes are quite eclectic. Don't like it? That's fine. I can deal with it. If that's a problem, don't let the door hit your ass on the way out.
c. Bad attitudes. I don't necessarily date someone for how they look on the outside (though hey, not gonna lie, that's always a plus). It's what's on the inside that counts. You could be the most beautiful woman I've ever met, but if you've got a shitty attitude, you can walk home.
d. Humor. I love all types. Everything from dry humor to the juvenile de-motivatonal posters that have popped up all over the place. I don't ask that our senses of humor match, but it's definitely a turn-off when even a silly joke doesn't elicit any laughter.
e. Pets. I love dogs in particular, but also love cats. I can understand an allergy, but I can't understand a genuine dislike.
f. Honesty. I don't hate many things, but I absolutely hate a liar. Don't be that girl... okay?
g. Family. I don't have a lot of them in my life, for a variety of reasons. If you can't respect when I make time for them (for instance, due to medical reasons), our priorities obviously don't sync, and you'll be better off elsewhere.
h. Are you apathetic or indifferent? If so, you won't mind when I tell you to leave, right? Cool.


a. A genuine love of conversation.
b. As stated above, I love games. Not limited to video games, though, as I'm also somewhat fond of table-top role playing and (on a more limited scale) live action role playing.
c. Opinions. I have 'em. I know you have 'em, too. Express yours freely, and you've got my attention!
d. Passion. I'm a romantic, through and through. If you can appreciate that, and even match it, that would be exceptional!
e. Current events. Those of you (the few there are, anyway) that have me on Facebook know that I have a love of current events. Someone with a similar love - whether those events are positive ("Deployed Troops rescue dog") or negative ("DJIA falls 428 points") shows a greater awareness of the world. I love that.
f. Ambition. Not being afraid to pursue what you want. You have that? You have my interest!
g. Commitment. I want one. Do you?