Dark Fever

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Well, that had gotten an interesting reaction!

Gabriel found himself smiling, but not mockingly or with teasing, but with genuine happiness that he knew was hard to find these days. He couldn't help it that he was different, though. He didn't look at everyone as an enemy until they made themselves known as such. That was just how he was and if that was foolish...then so be it. And Cassandra....she wasn't an enemy. Not even close. At the moment she seemed like an excited child and Gabriel sat down slowly, crossing his legs as he started to answer her questions.

Even he didn't understand how his mind could be so sharp as to remember every single question someone asked him and then forget all about them the next day. It was something he'd probably never figure out.

"It was...different. Green and the air was almost wet, cool. Have you ever touched lettuce? Well, everything is like that. Soft and smooth to touch, all the green things are like that. And the trees, they tower like the Old City buildings, brown and rough on your fingers, but their smell....I can't even describe it." He closed his eyes, a smile pulling at his lips. "I saw a wolf while I was there. I talked to him. He told me...he..."

Gabriel winced, feeling his head twinge with pain as the memory struggles to stay in the forefront of his mind and he finally sighed, letting it go, his amber eyes opening to look into Cassandra's wide, amazed blue ones. He suddenly felt guilty, knowing he couldn't answer her question as she'd like him to. He'd be honest with her, though.

"I...don't know. I remember...pieces of how to get there, but...without something to keep my remembering, it will fade. I'm sorry." He whispered that last part because he truthfully is very sorry that he can't help her, can't just tell her where to go.
 
His apology seemed to sober Cassandra up some and she reeled in her enthusiasm. She was disappointed that he was not able to tell her everything but it was a start, and at least she knew that somewhere in that head of his, he held the information on how to reach a paradise of sorts. She wondered why and how Gabriel had ever come across a place like that but she didn't want to pressure him with anymore questions that he couldn't answer.

She smiled faintly at him to reassure him. "It's alright. ...Do you have pencil and paper? Have you considered writing down every memory you remember, whenever you remember it? Then at any time, you could look at what you wrote and maybe it would come back to you."
 
Gabriel looked away, suddenly embarrassed though he knew he had no reason to be. His voice was quiet as he bit his lip, somehow managing to not cut them on his long canines. "I can't write. I can read, a little, but I can't write."

Many people after the Great Purge couldn't. The Old Timers remembered everything from the Old World but many who had survived had been only children. Gabriel had been five when it happened and because of the state of the world, now twenty years later, he knew many things about how to survive, but academically? He might as well have been a five year old. Still, her idea had sparked his interest and this time it was his eyes that showed some hope as they came up again to look into her bright blue ones.

"Can you write?" He had no idea how old she was, though, she felt younger than him, but maybe...maybe someone had taught her to write? To read?
 
Cassandra couldn't help but smile at him. The way his dark amber eyes shone with hope touched her, and she suddenly wanted very badly to help him. "Yes, I can," she answered. "I was fortunate enough to be taught as a child." She didn't want to break her gaze away from him. His bashfulness from earlier and his new-found hope made him one of the very few joyful things to look at in the wasteland.

She forced herself to tear away from his gaze and then motioned to his backpack. "Do you have anything I can use to write with?" She hoped he did. Otherwise, she suspected she would have to explain herself all over again to him if the rain forced them to spend another night in the cave.
 
Gabriel grinned back at her, an expression not really seen on many people's faces in this world and he reached up, nearly falling over really, to grab his backpack. Having forgotten about his side entirely, he pulled it and and hissed, looking down at the injury with an almost impatient expression. He hoped it healed quickly. Damn, that was inconvenient.

Bringing his thoughts back to the situation at hand, the male unzipped the main pocket and frowning to himself, searched through it carefully. Honestly, some of the things he had in here surprised HIM, but his fingers seemed to know where they were going so he let them lead and eventually came up with a small notebook, looking worn around the edges, with a pencil stuck in the binding. Gabriel smiled faintly in triumph before zipping the backpack back up and then turning his attention to Cassandra again.

It was then that he hesitated slightly, watching her face carefully as he spoke, his hands tight upon the notebook. "It..was my father's." The unspoken request for her to respect that, to not read anything or ruin the book is left hanging in the air.
 
Cassandra understood immediately and she did not reach for the notebook, instead waiting for him to offer it to her. She did not want to pressure him or make him uncomfortable with the thought of entrusting the notebook to her in any way. It did strike her though, that she had no idea what Gabriel's parents were like or what had happened to them. If Gabriel was infected, perhaps his parents had been too. In that case, it was unlikely they survived. That increased the importance of the notebook that much more and she had no desire to soil that.

"I'll take good care of it," she promised. "Open it to a page you would like me to write on and I'll start there," she offered.
 
Gabriel watched her for a moment more, but the fact that she was patient and didn't scoff at his silent request reassured him and he opened the notebook slowly, fingers running over the words he can barely read before he shook himself and flipped through the pages until he came to the part of the book that was blank. Taking the pencil out of the binding, he handed both things to Cassandra with a slight smile.

He sat back then, rubbing his palms on his pants in an almost nervous way be stopping and tilting his head, shaking the blond hair that brushed his eyes out of his face. "I...do you want me to tell you what I remember? Describe it?"

He was honestly unsure how to start. His thoughts weren't exactly organized and while he was used to living that way...it would probably be strange for someone else to hear.
 
Cassandra took the pencil and the notebook, making sure to handle both carefully. She settled back and rested the notebook on her leg so it could be used as a writing surface. "If you can. It's okay if you can't remember a lot right now. I'm sure more will come to you later and we can add it then." Cassandra didn't expect him to tell her much. Up until this point, he seemed like a fairly private person and even if he could remember a lot, there was no guarantee that he would tell her everything.

Still, she was grateful for the opportunity to hear Gabriel talk about himself. She was immensely curious about his past and she almost felt like she was being given the opportunity to breach something forbidden. Secrets were commonplace in the new world and to trusted with them was an honor indeed.
 
He nodded, accepting her words and leaned back himself against a large rock at his back, looking up at the cave ceiling in the dusk-like lighting. He attempted to organize his thoughts but the more he tried, the harder it became and the more his head started to hurt. Gabriel finally sighed and dropped his head again, putting his fingers on his temples as he started to speak haltingly. He had never done this before, let someone see into his mind - at least not that he can remember in the last six years. Before that...he'd been even more reserved. He'd hardly talked. The events from six years ago had actually changed him for the better, but it hadn't made his life any easier.

"Desert. There's desert. The Nevada Desert I think. Not wasteland, but desert, sand and harsh wind. I'm burned..." Gabriel faltered, eyes opening and he shook his head. No, he just needed to stick to the landscape, the markers and where he was, not what was happening to him. He found it hard to separate the two, though, but started again. "There's a rock...a formation that looks like....like a...bear! It's a bear like the ones in the storybooks..."

Gabriel frowned, the memories growing fuzzy and he glared at the stone floor, hating that the simplest of details are sinking back into the bog of his mind. "I pass a dried up river. It's wide and there are bandits." He growled under his breath placing his head back in his hands, feeling his body start to tremble with the effort it took to make himself concentrate. He tried to avoid doing this. "Glimmering metal and glass...a wall, towering....bars...water...forest.."

He finally whimpered, the pain unbearable and stopped speaking, trying to breathe past the sharp spikes of pain digging into his skull, making it throb with fire.
 
Cassandra had been dutifully writing his words verbatim but she stopped when she saw the pain he was in. "... Are you okay?" She scooted closer to him and put her hand on his arm, hoping the touch would drag him out of his head and back into reality. "Hey, it's alright. You did a good job. Is your head okay?"

A thought crossed Cassandra's mind that made her uneasy. Perhaps his memory loss wasn't because of physical damage to his head. Maybe he had actually started repressing memories for a reason. Suddenly, she wasn't so sure if chronicling his memories was such a good idea anymore. Still though, he had seemed excited at the prospect of her writing down his memories for him and she didn't want to take that away.
 
Gabriel shuddered when her skin came in contact with his, but the touch brought his attention to her words and he slowly released his head, looking up at her with eyes fogged with pain. They were alert behind the glaze, though and he nodded after a moment, focusing on breathing until the throbbing started to abate enough for him to feel human again instead of like a giant mass of agony. His voice was raspy when he attempted to speak and he cleared his throat before trying again.

"I'm all right. Used to it." he reassured with a faint smile.

Gabriel looked at the notebook in her hands and then back up at her eyes, his own not so glazed anymore, the pain now lurking behind his personality again. It was a permanent fixture in his eyes, though, and now that she'd seen it, she'd probably realize it had always been there, even since they'd met yesterday. He'd just learned to hide it well.

"Did...do you know what state we're in?" He'd said Nevada was where he'd been, but he had no idea where he was NOW....
 
Watching Gabriel suffer through the pain had distracted her and she struggled to center her thoughts again. Even though the headache seemed to bother him less now, she could see the ever present pain in his eyes and her mind searched for solutions to help him. It took her a few moments to quiet her thoughts and process his question.

"Oh, um... I... don't know. Well, I sort of do. A few days ago the answer would have been 'Texas' but I have moved around since then and I was close to the west border. So...possibly New Mexico?" The state borders were no longer all that important so she hadn't bothered to keep track. She traveled so frequently anyway that it hardly mattered to her. "Were you thinking of returning to Nevada? It's not too far from here so you could so you could if you wanted to."
 
Gabriel listened to her, but at her words, the last part, he gave her a puzzled look. "I wasn't think about it until now. That's where you want to go, where the forest is."

Did she not realize he hadn't been remembering for his own sake but for hers? She'd helped him when she didn't have to and she'd been kind despite his obvious unstable state. Gabriel felt the least he could do was try to help her find the place she wanted to go. It had a been long time since someone had let him help them. Or at least...he thought it had been a while. He could feel irritation building in his veins at the fact that he couldn't recall and took a deep breath, pushing it away. It wouldn't help.

Instead he focused on Cassandra again, offering a smile. "You do want to find the place I saw, right?" Or had he misinterpreted her signals?
 
Cassandra felt the excitement swell in her chest again but she forced herself to remain calm. "I mean, of course I'd like to... now that I know the forest is in Nevada, I'll probably start heading there. I didn't know if you wanted to go too though. I just figured that if you happened to want to go back and if you were going there anyway then maybe we could go together....? You know, only if you wanted to."

Embarrassed, Cassandra broke eye contact with him and looked away. She didn't think what Gabriel had told her would be enough to find the forest, but it would at least give her a start. She wanted Gabriel to come, both for his company and for his memories of the forest's location that were trapped in his head. She didn't however, want to assume he would be so willing to help her.
 
Her words completely surprised him and Gabriel stared at her for a long moment, trying to determine whether she was just being mean or if she was genuinely serious. He had to quickly dismiss the first thought, however, almost as soon as it had come. He hadn't known her long at all and they were strangers, but still, Gabriel couldn't see Cassandra being cruel just to be cruel. Maybe if her survival depended on it - everyone had their tests in life - she would do something uncharacteristic, but right now....

No, she was serious and Gabriel felt his heart lighten in a way that was strange. Could it be possible....that he might get a friend out of all this?

He found himself smiling and he tilted his head until he caught her bright blue eyes again, his own shining with an honest happiness and hope, not ashamed of showing it. "I would be glad to travel with you, Cassandra, if you are amendable to it."
 
Cassandra was both relieved and elated at his decision and she broke out into a wide smile. "Of course. I'd like that a lot." When his eyes caught hers, she felt an unexplainable comfort. She had traveled alone for so long and this bond, even if it was only a temporary one, filled her with warmth. It was no longer just her against the world - there were another on her side now and that made all the difference. Her voice of logic spoke up then, reminding her that she still could not yet trust this man, but she brushed the thought away. Gabriel hadn't done anything wrong and now that she understood his memory loss, it would not take her by surprise again. Which reminded her...

She looked back down at the notebook and wrote a few sentences at the top of the page, above her notes from earlier:

Your name is Gabriel. The girl with you is named Cassandra. You met her while running from government agents. Now, you are both going to the forest in Nevada. Whenever you remember something that you want to remember later, tell Cassandra and she will write it in here.

When she finished writing the message, she handed the notebook and pencil back to Gabriel. "Here. I wrote a reminder for you at the top in case you ever forget the basics again."
 
Gabriel looked down at the message and while it took him a few minutes to sound out the words in his mind, he eventually finished it and smiled, nodding as he closed the book and put the pencil back in carefully, this time putting the notebook in a more accessible place in his backpack, somewhere his fingers would recognize as being 'wrong' when he searched, drawing their interest. It was the best solution he could think of and when he was done, he turned back to Cassandra.

A comfortable silence seemed to come between them before a thought struck Gabriel and he started digging in his pack again. "Are you hungry? I don't really know when I last ate, but we both probably should." There was a reason why while he was muscular, he was also lean. Everyone was in this world now, but Gabriel tended to take it to extremes even though he didn't mean to.

"You can call me Gabe, by the way." he offered even as he held out some jerky to her, a smile flitting about the corners of his mouth.
 
Cassandra hadn't even realized she was hungry until she saw the jerky - then she was starving. She tentatively took the jerky and ate it gratefully. The meat was tough but she had been raised eating what the wasteland provided for her and she saw nothing out of the ordinary with the jerky. She was still hungry after she finished her piece but she didn't dare ask for more. It was kind enough for him to offer at all and she didn't want to be seen as a leech.

"Thank you. I had some food and supplies of my own but they were stolen in the town. I'm normally good about catching thieves but I suspect this one might have been infected. I traded what I had left for a hunting knife though, so if I could find game - any game, then I can sell what I catch to restock what I used to have. Unfortunately, it's near impossible to find any animals out here." She sighed lightly. The recollection of it irritated her; especially since she her stolen bag had been filled with valuable necessities. "If those d*** agents hadn't come along, I would have tried to track down that thief and taken my stuff back."
 
Gabriel knew she was hungry, so was he, but he put the rest of the meat back, knowing that rationing was the only way to live out here and he'd not been able to trade in the town like he'd been planning to do, so he had only a small amount to spare. It would seem his logic to eat sparingly was a good one as he listened to Cassandra's tale, feeling his own flare of irritation on her behalf. He never did understand thieves. In fact, he didn't understand this environment at all.

The blond shook his head, sighing. "I am sorry for your trouble. I honestly think that if people just worked together we'd all be better off." He said the last part quietly, looking off into the rain, a shadow passing over his face, a memory that for once didn't take any effort in coming.

"My father believed things like that. He always said people united in a common cause were stronger than any force on earth." A smile pulled at his lips even as the memory pulled at his mind, drawing him to another time. "He'd tickle me as he said it and my mother would laugh and tell him he was an idealistic fool. Then she'd kiss him and me..."
 
Cassandra smiled sadly as she listened to him. He had loved his parents - that's for sure. She also knew however, that something bad must have happened to them, otherwise they would be with him now. She quietly looked out at the rain with him, thinking over what he had said. "...Your parents sound wonderful. And your father... well, I agree with him. People can accomplish so much when they come together. It's a shame that we live in a world where nobody ever does anymore."

She stood up and walked over to the cave entrance, glancing up at the sky. It was still raining, but the thunder had quieted and she couldn't see any lightning. It appeared the storm had passed and Cassandra didn't think it would be too much longer until the rain stopped as well.
 
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