Cute And Fluffy Bunnies of Doom

Discussion in 'THREAD ARCHIVES' started by Asmodeus, Apr 3, 2010.

  1. RULES: You must be small and cute!


    Many have heard of them, but few know where their castle is....

    Except Timmy - he knows. His parents left the secret to him in their will when they were killed by vampire-cheese-muffins, blah blah blah SHUSH! >:[




    (Badger Hall is a gymnasium, deal with it!)

    Oh yeah, Timmy... right. This is Timmy --->

    Timmy stared at the bleak and intimidating wall of the Badger Hall Gymnasium, pretending it wasn't actually a quite nice-looking spacious facility with good lighting and modern amenities for wholesome family fun, just round the corner from his home and owned by his grandmother who had actually shown him around earlier that week.

    There, that's an intro. Timmy is awesome - you'll like him a lot and identify with him for the rest of the story!

    Anyway, Timmy stepped inside the gymnasium.

    "Erm, actually, I have school and mom's expecting me back at five for tacos and I need to take my insulin and..."


    Timmy entered Badger Hall Gymnasium, taking his first step on the terrifying quest that would lead him, inevitably, to the castle of the Cute and Fluffy Bunnies of Doom!
  2. "He's in trouble."
  3. "Have the dragons guard the gates. No one leaves hell without our knowledge. Not the chaotic ones anyway. Humans live and die everyday but no demon should have a direct hand in so."
  4. A crow grew from his shoulder and flew off to the dragons. "That'll slow the on's who haven't left yet, or rely on the gates."
  5. And lo! There was continuity error! And the narrator saw that it was... salvageable!

    Completely ignoring the fact that a bleeding and poorly described.... cub?.... had just run past him (along with two generic people in suits who weren't worth illuminating on because they were worthless plot devices who deserved to get stomach cancer and be ignore) little Timmy stared at Groggy.

    "I... I'm Timmy, Sir. And... why does the gymnasium have a principal?"

    "I'm glad you asked that Timmy."

    "You are?" asked Timmy, his eyes slowly lifting to look at the Kitsune that had squatted on his head.



    It was safe to say that Timmy was confused. In fact, it wasn't safe at all. Many people had been shot for saying that Timmy was confused. In fact, a recent nuclear conflict between India and Pakistan had been caused by just such flippant comments and was directly responsible for the nuclear dustcloud that was currently hanging over the small town where Timmy lived (on the Indo-Pakistan border)


    "You see, Timmy," said Groggert as he put his arm round Timmy and led him down the hall, completely ignoring the mutilated cub that was being beaten up in the parking lot, "Badger Hall is not, as the name suggests, a quite nice-looking spacious gymnasium with good lighting and modern amenities for wholesome family fun, just round the corner from your home and owned by your grandmother who actually showed you around earlier this week."

    "Oh thank God. I was going to say that was a terrible setup."


    Groggert glared at the narrator, "Do you mind?"


    "No, Badger Hall is actually a school. A school for wiz... I mean, er... a school for extraordinary people."

    Timmy lifted the Kitsune and scratched the top of his head, before lowering the Kitsune down again. "Are we training to go to war against the Cute and Fluffy Bunnies of Doom?"

    "You know about the Cute and Fluffy Bunnies of Doom?"

    "Yes, you see, my parents left me a prophecy in their will when they were k--"

    "Yes yes, we've already read that!"

    And so, Timmy, Groggert and the poorly-integrated Kitsune continued down the hallway to the next continuity error.
  6. "What idiocy are these?!"

    The shrill, impudent voice echoed somewhere down the hallway, towards the fluffy/slightly fluffy group. It felt as if a hot wind had blown right past them, followed by a stampede of frightened mice, scurrying past their feet.

    What could be lurking there in the hallway? What heinous creature could possess such a screech?

    Oh, nevermind it was just Lady Lovelace. Some crazy broad who was screaming about inventing the computer and her sordid past in which she once saved the world with the aid of Ziggy Stardust. No one ever listened to her, because she was such a crazy bitch. Her shrill voice did keep the mice out, though.

    The small, frumpy girl stomped her foot and pointed at the group accusingly.

    "You can't to be serious to let this puny benign meats into the school!" Maybe she was just on her period.
  7. There were two little red pigtails and then SMASH, a big flower pot came crashing upon Lady Lovelace's head and crumbled to bits, leaving the soil, some leaves and a huge sunflower on the small girl's head. The offence, coming from the shrimpy little girl next to her was followed with a burst of giggles. Then, Minmintin proceeded to check her perfectly manicured fingernails for any dirt.

    "That's what you get you loud moud lady! Stop throwing tantrums~ you're not a baby!" Minmintin told the woman, rolling her eyes and shaking her head at the same. She had just been passing by on a perfectly good day when she heard all this noise and screaming from the hallway. Glancing at the rest of the group, she rolled her eyes again and punched in her letters for locker combination. Pretending that they didn't exist, she swung the door open and reapplied a tube of bright pink lipgloss while looking into the mirror on the inside of her door.

    She saw their reflection in the mirror and glared. People were so rude. Intruding on others people's make-up application time. She pulled something out of her locker. Six very large sombrero style straw hats. She threw them in their direction.

    "Here! These suit you very well so you might as well wear them!" She stared at them, "You have such terrible fashion sense! How can you ever defeat the cute and fluffy bunnies of doom if they're cuter than you?!"
  8. [​IMG]
    The little kitsune scooted its way behind Timmy and Groggert as they walked. It caught three of the hats on its tails and one covered its head and upperbody, since it was a tiny little kitsune.

    "OI! WHAT WAS FOR?!" Bum-Bums yipped in outrage, discovering the four hats, together, hampered its already slow movement. In a fit of foxish rage, the kitsune raised itself from its ass and stood on its four legs to tear apart two of the hats with its jaws before kicking the other two back to the fashion-obsessed girl.

    "MATERIALISTIC LITTLE WHELP!" The kitsune screeched, offended. Personally, it believed its glossy and un-matted coat was beautiful, and it cleaned itself daily, so how DARE someone ACCUSE it of being LESS CUTE THAN SOME BUCK-TOOTHED, LONG-EARED MICE! It snorted and then proceeded to trot over to Timmy and clung to his left leg with its tails.

    "HIDE ME! I'M AFRAID OF WHAT THE GIRL WILL DO NEXT!" The fox spirit screeched as it smoothed out its fur, trying to get every hair back in its place.
  9. And so, Timmy found himself stuck in a love triangle.


    Yes, a love triangle. Shut up!

    "I can't believe this shit, how could possibly expect me to-"

    "I don't even like--"


    "But-" spluttered Timmy as he followed Principal Groggert, limping as he tried to shake the Kitsune off his leg. "But how are we gonna defeat the Cute and Fluffy Bunnies of Doom? We're just kids!"

    "The C.A.F.B.O.D. are powerful, there is no doubt," answered Groggert as he led the way with the blatant assumption that everyone would understand his acronym. "But they can be defeated with proper training and montage-assisted-character-development."

    Timmy glanced at Minmintin and Lady Lovelace, who seemed to be travelling along on a conveyor belt and staring blankly into the distance.

    Coincidentally, the real Principal Groggert seemed to be stuck in one of the lockers, hammering on the door and screaming about character hijacking.

    "Er... why is no one else-"

  10. Lady Lovelace's face twitched a few times before she 'woke up,' so to speak. Every so often, she would see through time, and would be dead to the world. It was a thing she did, leftover from The War-actually quite sad. She never saw anything interesting, anyway.

    But it always did leave a weird taste in her mouth. . .

    And for some reason, Lady Lovelace couldn't stop herself from clinging to Timmy's arm. That was weird, though not as weird as the conveyor belt. . . What had she done while she was out? She hoped it involved bitch-slapping that other girl.

    "Benign man, even though you are possessing little girly bones, maybe you are not so useless as not to being able to defeat doom bunnies."

    Maybe, if they survived this, Lovelace could persuade the little manchild to have days in mini-golf plaza and bland suppers of cabbage and tack.