Cupid's Illusions

Discussion in 'THREAD ARCHIVES' started by Sweet~Taboo, Apr 8, 2010.

  1. So i usually hate to share my poems, but i got inspired and figured id give it a try. Basic poem format. I will take any opinions, i aint scurred! =}



    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Stuck with duds from cupid[/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Trapped in distractions [/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Enlightened to feel stupid[/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Hypnotized by false actions[/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]An illusion to the heart[/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]And to the mind an ease[/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Love is a poisoned dart[/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Brought by an emotional tease[/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]A heart perpetually split[/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]The inside hollowed out [/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Small pieces left to transmit[/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]It's bittersweet route[/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]The numerous attempts failed [/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]To heal its despair[/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Came more tears inhaled[/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]And one more deep tear [/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Crooked smiles to the public[/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Broken frowns in my head[/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]A body completely sick[/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]And a heart damn near dead[/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Condensed to only lust[/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]And acts to see it through[/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Convinced of lying trust[/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Until the final adieu[/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Another moment neglected[/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Another cry for concern[/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]One heart deeply infected[/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]With another's cryptic burn[/FONT]​
     
  2. Oooooo! I love it!

    I like these lines the most

    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]A body completely sick[/FONT]
    [FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]And a heart damn near dead[/FONT]
     
  3. Yay! Im so glad you like it! its so emo-broken hearted-lovehate and old, but one of my favorites! So THAAANKS!
     
  4. The imagery is quite vivid...I applaud your work.

    but

    I DEMAND MORE!
     
  5. Thank youuu! I will put more up eventually!
     
  6. Some stuff for you~ :3. Firstly, I noticed that you had an a-b-a-b rhyme scheme going on. You don't necessarily have to make it rhyme. I sort of noticed that the lack of punctuation and the lack of stanzas made it seem sort of post-modern in style. The description was rather vivid as Jack Shade already mentioned. Keep postin'; I want to read more!
     
  7. Thanks for the advice. I seem to be the type to do A-B-A-B, or A-A-B-B and such. I feel more comfortable writing that way. I seem to forget punctuations too! Ill definately post more, but they all seem to be in the same sense as this one. But I always apreciate advice, and help! So thanks again