Cupid's Illusions

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Original poster
So i usually hate to share my poems, but i got inspired and figured id give it a try. Basic poem format. I will take any opinions, i aint scurred! =}

[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Stuck with duds from cupid[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Trapped in distractions [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Enlightened to feel stupid[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Hypnotized by false actions[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]An illusion to the heart[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]And to the mind an ease[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Love is a poisoned dart[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Brought by an emotional tease[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]A heart perpetually split[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]The inside hollowed out [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Small pieces left to transmit[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]It's bittersweet route[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]The numerous attempts failed [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]To heal its despair[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Came more tears inhaled[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]And one more deep tear [/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Crooked smiles to the public[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Broken frowns in my head[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]A body completely sick[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]And a heart damn near dead[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Condensed to only lust[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]And acts to see it through[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Convinced of lying trust[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Until the final adieu[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Another moment neglected[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]Another cry for concern[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]One heart deeply infected[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]With another's cryptic burn[/FONT]​


The Murrstress
Invitation Status
Posting Speed
  1. Multiple posts per day
  2. 1-3 posts per day
Writing Levels
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  2. Advanced
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  4. Douche
  5. Adaptable
Preferred Character Gender
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Scifi, Fantasy, Modern, Magical, Horror, Noir, apocalyptic, Grimdark, yaoi, yuri, anything really.
Oooooo! I love it!

I like these lines the most

[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]A body completely sick[/FONT]
[FONT=Verdana, Arial, Helvetica, sans-serif]And a heart damn near dead[/FONT]


Original poster
Yay! Im so glad you like it! its so emo-broken hearted-lovehate and old, but one of my favorites! So THAAANKS!

Jack Shade

Magical, Fantasy, Supernatural, Sci Fi, Steam Punk, Noir, HORROR, and I'm willing to try Romance.
The imagery is quite vivid...I applaud your work.




Original poster
Thank youuu! I will put more up eventually!


Original poster
Some stuff for you~ :3. Firstly, I noticed that you had an a-b-a-b rhyme scheme going on. You don't necessarily have to make it rhyme. I sort of noticed that the lack of punctuation and the lack of stanzas made it seem sort of post-modern in style. The description was rather vivid as Jack Shade already mentioned. Keep postin'; I want to read more!


Original poster
Thanks for the advice. I seem to be the type to do A-B-A-B, or A-A-B-B and such. I feel more comfortable writing that way. I seem to forget punctuations too! Ill definately post more, but they all seem to be in the same sense as this one. But I always apreciate advice, and help! So thanks again