"An Interview with the High Guardian of the Door to Elsewhere" by Tom Bobe.
"[Tom and Anzetsu sit comfortably on the plush green grass. Ansetzu looks vaguely excited.]
Tom: Hello, High Guardian Ansetzu. Thank you for allowing me to interview you.
Ansetzu: I am being paid, Tom, do not thank me.
Tom: ... Alright, shall we get the ball rolling, then?
Ansetzu: ...?
Tom: ...Okay. First of all, what is your full title?
Ansetsu: I am Fleena Elsren Ansetzu, High Guardian of the Door to Elsewhere. "Fleena" is... "Missus" in human terms.
Tom: Just so the audience is informed, what is your gender?
Ansetzu: You should most definitely include a picture. I will allow it. I am a female, in human terms.
Tom: And, I apologize if I am being rude, but what is your age?
Ansetzu: Not rude. Only humans care about age numbers. I am 108, more or less.
Tom: You look great for your age, if you were human! Haha. Could you tell me a little about your species? Humans love the other species in this universe and cherish the differences.
Ansetzu:
Most of the universe are fascinated by humans as well. I am fond of humans, personally.
I am Fleen, a rare offshoot of the Kinar from the Bright Star, aptly named Briestar. Not many understand a Fleen, so I will inform you of important details. I will remind you of the Kinar, and then the Fleen.
Firstly, you should be aware that the Kinar are a vaguely humanoid race. They are shaped very much like humans, though more extreme in proportion, which I will explain later. They differ from Kina to Kina, just like humans. The Kinar have stronger scents and a more powerful sense of smell than humans. When you are Kinar, your eyesight is very poor. Kinar are not bred to both see well and endure so much light, so they rely on scent and hearing to survive. They have rather large, pointy noses and wide ears. They are never colored the same as humans. Kinar have one base shade, such as blue, that they can alter to be any intensity of the shade; light blue, dark blue, white-blue. So many shades exist that no Kinar is the same shade, though they may be very similar. One unchanging eyecolor is typical, though some Kinar have two colors. Kina do not have as many hairs as a human, but they are haired. Sensitive strands are a few "milly-meters" in diameter, and stay one unchanging color.
Tom: Question! I apologize. Do the strands move on their own?
Ansetzu: Do they move? ...No. Why would they move? They grow very quickly and are sensitive to the touch like... strands on a cat's face.
Tom: Oh, whiskers. Amazing...!
Ansetsu: Yes! I think so. Also, a very soft layer of short fur covers all Kina, though some have longer, shorter, sparser, or thicker fur than others, again much like "cats", I've been told. They have that fur instead of human body hair. The fur usually doesn't differ much from place to place on a Kina. Their fur is very, very light and does not change color. Naturally, it becomes more visible if a Kina makes their shade darker. F
Tom: That is fascinating. I have another question. Do the Kinar have fingerprints? Nails?
Ansetzu: Fingerprints? Those are only human. Nails... what do you...?
Tom: Oh! I'm sorry. Nails is short for fingernails.
Ansetsu. Ah, I see now. Yes, they do have fingernails. Not human ones, but clear, strong nails. They have to have them professionally grinded to keep them from growing into the inch-and-one-half-inch sharp claws that they naturally grow on their hands and feet.
Tom: Wow! Wow. How else do the Kinar differ from humans?
Ansetzu: Well... Kinar are smaller than humans for the most part. Briestar is small and therefore... its occupants cannot be large, obviously! In human terms... the average Kini [female Kina] is 4 foots in length. The average Kinu [male Kina] is 5-and-one-half feets. The sexual dimorphism is greater in Kinar than in humans. The lengths are different, the shapes differ greatly, and the Kinu are much more muscular than Kini. Kini and Kinu, even though they have strange noses and ears, are considered very attractive because of their bodies. Kini are usually very voluptuous and feminine, and most of them are never "fat" or "skinned". Kinu are lovely, I believe. Their muscles are... appreciatable, and their size is synonymous with protection.
[Ansetzu's face grows darker around her cheeks and she briefly averts her eyes.]
Tom: Alright. I have a few more questions about Kina before you move on to the Fleen. Do the Kina have the same reproductive organs as humans?
Ansetzu: Yes. Well, mostly. Recall the size difference from humans. Kina are proportional to other Kina, but usually smaller everywhere than humans. Of course, there is inter-Kinar differentiations. Some Kini have very large breasts, and they do look big, but next to a human woman with large breasts, the Kini would look smaller. Kinu... I am unaware of their true nature.
[Again, Ansetzu's face turns darker.]
Tom: Haha, that's good, that's good. You are not required to know everything. Now, Fleena Ansetzu, I would love to hear about the Fleen.
Ansetzu: Oh, yes! Fleen are, as I stated previously, an offshoot of the Kinar with all of the same body parts as a Kinar, which means almost the same as a human's body parts. We were bred even smaller, being on Briestar's only island. The average Fleena [female Fleen; missus] is nearly four-feets in length; Fleeno [male Fleen; mister] are usually five-feets-and-two-inch in length. Still much sexual dimorphism, though not as drastic as with the Kinar. Fleena are not as lovely as Kini, I think. We are not very physical, so we are not as lovely in the way of muscles, and we tend to be more "fat". Fleen are rarely too thin. That is not to say their health is in danger... they are not that "fat". Fleeno are also not as lovely as Kinu. They are still very much stronger and more muscular than Fleena, but their muscles are not as large as a Kinu's.
Tom: I think the Kinar and Fleen are both lovely. What are the other differences?
Ansetzu: Our noses are smaller and... our ears are smaller. Because our eyes are larger and more seeing, our senses of smell and hearing are weaker than the Kinar. We have the same fur and shades, but our skin is striped a little bit and our shades can't change as much. Where as a Kina could have fifty variants of a shade, I might have only twenty. Our eyes can have the same colors as a Kina. Our hairs don't feel as much, and they are a little bit thinner. Our "nails" are thinner as well.
Tom: That is fascinating. Are those the only differences?
Ansetzu: No! Those are only the physical differences. Overall, we are more magical than the Kinar, who are more physically adept. That is all.
Tom: Haha, interesting. Okay, I am told to ask certain questions for this interview, but I would love to hear about magic afterwards. Next question: What is your family like?
Ansetzu: I do not know. I know that I once had a family, but I was given away to become great. It is rather meant to be kept secret, however.
Tom: Understood. Tell me a little about your personality, then.
Ansetzu: Alright. From the mouths of others, I am calm, intelligent, extreme and proud. Obviously I am intelligent or I would not have become the High Guardian at all. Calm goes hand in hand with rational. You cannot be hyper or foolish or rash as a Guardian. But extreme is to be debated. I suppose I am curt, particular and trustworthy. Proud... I suppose I am, admittedly. Occasionally I believe I "rub people" the wrong way. So be it. I am not a Guardian to be anyone's mother, pat them on the head and comfort them when they are not qualified to go through the Door.
If I had to describe myself, I would say... honorable, just... I enjoy conversing and being with people very much, but I do not have time. I am rather lonely sometimes. I love to learn about everything and I like practicing my skills to improve them. My job is enjoyable.
Tom: You seem to enjoy it. Can you briefly describe your history?
Ansetzu: Very very briefly. It is secretive. I was born, given, trained, trained, and trained. And then I tried to become a Guardian of the Door. It took three tries, but they finally made me Fifth Guardian, the lowest. Many years later, I tried for High Guardian. Twice. I got the job, you can see.
Tom: Hahaha! Yes I can. I can indeed. The next question is the last. How would you describe your appearance to a human?
Ansetzu: A human that know about Fleen?
Tom: Erm... yes, how about one that has seen a few Kinar and Fleen.
Ansetzu: Alright... I am four-and-no-inches in length. My base shade is... light blue, light grey. Between those. I have fifteen shades between lightest and darkest. My stripes are most parallel to the ground when I stand, and they are very very thin, close together. I have more stripes than almost any other Fleen. Eyes are dark grey... hairs are dark blue-grey, and I let them grow very long so I can make them lovely. What else., what else... I do not like to sweat, so I am without many muscles. I am not fat yet. My job does keep me exercising in a way. My breasts are rather too large for the rest of me, I think. I am not very... "curved" other than that. Most Kinar and Fleen have high cheeks, but mine are rather sharp. I do not know why, but my cheeks are fat and round. That is all.
Tom: Haha! Brilliant. Thank you again, Fleena Ansetzu. I hope to speak with you afterwards! "
((G-guh... guh... *flops and rolls around on the floor* ... Th...Three... hours... g-guh... *passes out*))
