Counseling for the Trouble Soul


When handed the paperwork and her clipboard, Ariana took it and a pen immediately and sat down to begin answering the questions. It was hard to focus exactly on what she was writing at first and to be fair, she got sidetracked several times and she tried to jot down the answers. In the upper right hand corner of the paper, she ticked off lines with the pen because while she was writing, she realized that she loved the sound of the pen scratching against the paper and the way that it felt in her hand to write the lines. After a moment, she returned her attention to the paper.

The dark lines created a striking contrast to the snowy white paper that they were printed on and she traced her fingers over these letters too, remembering the ones that were in the breakfast area. Surely this small dark letters were better, for they stood out boldly on the paper with her tiny neat script beneath these proud letters as though less beautiful children. They looked the same, had the same shape but they were not as perfect and bold. She retraced the letters now, darkening them to make them stand out better against the white. They were no longer slender and spidery but thick and heavy against the paper. Now though, they were too dark compared to the perfectly printed ones on the paper. She wished that she hadn't written in pen, that way she might have erased them.

Pausing, Ariana looked up and around the room. Everyone else was focused on their papers and all that was left were Dyne and Gloria. It was them, they were the ones who were watching. Flicking her eyes back to her paper, Ariana tried to ignore the fact that she could practically feel the eyes against her. They were here to help her and he had come to them after all. It did not help when Dyne walked closer, in fact it caused her to pause and glance up again. Trying to calm herself down, though, she took a deep breath.

Sticking her tongue out, she tried to complete the rest of the form quickly so that she stopped second-guessing herself about everything. Dotting the last "i", she stood and handed the clipboard to Gloria, her eyes flicking to Dyne and then to the dog.

When she made her way back toward her seat, she leaned down near the dog. Ariana extended her hand to pet the labrador, her tension easing slightly. His fur looked like it was soft, very soft and the colors shimmering off the strands delighted her eyes.
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Everyone had spoken. Andy noted what everyone said, not because he particularly cared but because there was a chance some one would ask him something relating to these people. He waited to see what would come next, it came soon enough. A paper he was supposed to fill out covering various topics pertaining to his health. Andy filled out the form briskly. He stood up to give the form to Gloria, brushing his fingers over the dogs head as he passed. His face was impassive as he gave her the clipboard, form and pen all as one. Turning away again he walked passed his seat, he was going to get a drink. All this sitting and listening, it left his mind to wander aimlessly.

He found the water without incident. The water was refreshing and as he sipped he counted the light bulbs he'd seen. Twelve, that was probably right. His water was gone now, his brief respite of sitting down and doing nothing had ended. If he was to do nothing, he would rather do it in the comfort of being alone. He tossed the Styrofoam into the garbage and looked around at the empty room where they had been eating a few minutes before. They may have had water in the room, but he'd rather be here alone with his thoughts.
 
Annie didn't hear the rest of the introductions. She was focused on the cat and keeping her mind clear, or else she would feel the panic bubbling up in her chest again. She didn't regain focus on the group again until Gloria spoke. She glanced over the form she was handed, her stomach dropping when Gloria said they'd share this information with everyone. Would that really be necessary? Her hand automatically went to her pocket, where she usually kept her cigarettes. She cursed under her breath when she remembered she had forgotten them. Her teeth dug into her bottom lip until she winced from the pain. Picking the cat up and sitting her on the floor, being careful not to let her shaking hands drop the animal, Annie left the room, not even noticing the dog that had neared her and the cat, the clipboard and pen still clutched tightly in one hand. She didn't stop walking until she was standing outside the hotel, having ignored the receptionist's alarm at the sight of her. "Ma'am, are you okay? Ma'am?"

Annie dropped down on the steps, burying her face in her hands. Breathe... She felt sick and tried not to think about the turns her stomach was doing. Don't you dare throw up over something so stupid. The threatening sickness reminded her of the time she had gotten sick on a car ride home from school after taking some test. Sarah had laughed at her while rubbing her back, calming her and mocking her all at once. Annie could almost hear that laugh in her head now, almost. The almost caught her off guard. The decaying quality of her sister's memory always threw her off. She had lost small things so far, the exact way Sarah's hair looked when she woke up, the way she smelled, but Annie had always been able to remember that laugh. That realization hit her so hard, it took everything she had not to cry.

She picked the form back up from where she had dropped it beside her and started filling it out, anything to distract herself. By the time she reached the last few questions, she decided to just be honest, at least on the paper. If once she got back in the room she found she couldn't do it, she wouldn't, but for now, writing it down felt like a relief. She didn't go back inside when she was finished, thinking staying out long enough to calm down would be a good thing.
 
Riley took her paper and scanned over it. It looked pretty self explanatory but also a pain in the ass to complete. When her friends told her to go she didn't know there'd be paper work involved. Unfortunately, she couldn't rush this one. It was a really drawn out and all of the answers had to be filled in. At least the one's that pertained to her did. Riley tucked the strand of hair from her nose to behind her ear. It wasn't going to stay there long so she disregarded it, pretending it wasn't there.

After listening in on everyone's greetings, Riley felt oddly out of place. More than half of the people in the room where there for a purpose. Riley was there out of sheer peer pressure and confusion. The form was even more confusing. It asked her question that either she had no answer to or no will to answer. Why the hell would I want Gloria sniffing around my personal life? She couldn't get annoyed, however. Whether Riley liked it or not, she was in there for a reason so she had to play nice. Play nice, play fair, the familiar motto for Paris Mountain Fun park. Screw that park.

Riley dug the pen into the paper, watching the opaque ink squeeze out from it. She was more intrigued with the ooze than the question, which she believed was her marital status. Riley looked up from the oozing ink to find everyone deeply engrossed in their papers. She wondered if they were struggling to answer the questions like she was. The focus she had earlier slipped away throw her fingers which began to tremble. She was starting to feel the affects of the deafening silence in the room. Sweat caked her palms as she cleared her throat loudly, if only to make some sort of sound.​


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Looking at the piece of paper he frowned. This was stupid. He took out his blue ball point pen and scribbled a bit on the paper, filling out bare minumum information with a little bit of an added sarcasm. He set the paper on the chair that still bore his name and walked outside for a nother sip of whiskey, and a smoke. It was dumb all of this. He shouldn't be here. He just needed a vacation in the bahamas or something and he would be fine. He slowly drew on the cigarrette as he stood there staring accross the street.
 
Tara took the clipboard and a pen with a steady sigh. She was still unsure if she actually wanted to be here, but what choice did she have. Her eyes stayed glued to the paper. A small frown pulled at her lips, "Why sooo many questions....." She said softly under her breath, not wanting all her information to be seen by anyone. The sound of a sudden in take of breath was kinda loud, even in her own ears. Trying to distract herself she sat the clipboard on her lap, and clicked the pen. Each question was answered fully as possible, but some she tried to skip. Deep down she hoped they didn't matter all that much.

After a few moments her eyes shifted, glancing up she watched each person curiously. Wondering if they had worse issues than herself, actually she hoped they did. She didn't want to seem more crazy than the rest....Her mind started to work against her. You are crazy......The walls are closing in your stuck here...The thoughts flashed through mind. Tara quickly shook her head and looked back at the next question. She had to stay focused, being in this room with so many people seemed like a chore.

Tara tilted her head to one side at the last question, unsure if she wanted to answer it. Trying to drag out the whole process, but she finally gave up. Signing the last answer, she stood to her feet. Each footstep was slow, as she walked over to place the clipboard in Gloria's hand before hurrying back to her seat.
 
Once the forms were handed out, Gloria sat in her chair and watched everyone. She didn't want to upset everyone, but she did want to analyze several of them. She did scan over the forms once they were complete, silently applauding those who wrote out what they were actually here for, and frowning slightly at those who didn't quite get the picture. This group was a very stubborn bunch. She wished that they were more open, but a lot of them didn't come here out of their own free will either.

Walking over to the last form - it was left on Jeremy's chair - Gloria picked it up and scanned that. The information she garnered from it made her purse her lips in thought. She would have to push the group to fess up. It was the only way. Either that or she would show them the door.

As she sat down, Gloria made sure that Dyne didn't see her thoughts move across her face. Luna, she noted, was busy sniffing Rocky. They were greeting each other. Her eyes glanced at the clock. It was five till their next session would begin. Turning towards Dyne, Gloria give him muttered instructions. She decided to round everyone up instead of waiting for them to come in. Moving swiftly out of the room, she found Andy in the dining room.

"Oh Andy, we're about to start so if you don't mind -" She made a gesture towards the meeting room with a small smile. "I'll be right there, have to get everyone else."

She was about to check the rest of the lobby when a familiar figure standing outside of the front doors caught her eyes, along with a cloud of smoke. Gloria opened the door and poking her head out said kindly, "We're about to start Jeremy, leave your cigarettes behind please." She paused. "And anything else you might have that I said to leave behind."

Gloria called out to Annie, who was on the steps. "Annie, don't for -" Her voice died out from concern. Gloria opened the doors and strode over to Annie. Quietly she laid a hand on the girls' shoulder. "Are you alright?"

 
Dyne was still sitting in his chair watching Rocky and Luna interacting with eachother while everyone else was filling out their paperwork. Gloria had whispered something to him just before getting up and walking out of the room. He nodded to her and continued to sit and wait, watching everyone else in the room as well.

He glanced at the clock periodically, and soon enough, the clock hit the 10 o'clock mark. Once it did, Dyne sat up and spoke to everyone in the room.

"Alright everyone, I know that not everyone is back yet but we're going to go ahead and start. Now that everyone is done with the paperwork, it's time to share some more information here. I'd like everyone to please state the issues that you are here to help resolve. I know that some of you don't really want to be here, and that some of you may have been forced to be here. But I'll remind you all that showing up does not mean that you will automatically be helped. We cannot help those who refuse to try and help themselves. Some of you may be embarrassed to reveal the issues that you've come here for, but remember, everyone is here for their own problems and to receive help, not just you. So, who would like to go first?"

Dyne gave a smile and Rocky returned to his side before he finished speaking. The dog seemed content now in sitting by his master, looking to all the people with his mouth open and a somewhat happy look on his face.
 
Pulled from his thoughts, Andy looked around and fixed his gaze on Gloria. It was time to come back. Andy was reluctant even though it didn't show on him physically; he went back anyway. It didn't seem like this counseling thing was going to help him, they didn't need to worry about him. He could continue to live his life effectively without having to be blabbing all the time about how he feels. Andy sighed as he sat down, a bit late. Oh well.
 
As she sat there, practicing some breathing technique a friend had shown her that she really didn't remember, so she was actually just breathing deeply and focusing on taking slow breaths, the older man came out the door near her and lit up a cigarette. As he walked past her, not even seeing her, she caught the scent of whiskey again. So that's where it was coming from. This man had everything she wanted right now. She started to ask for at least a cigarette, but her voice caught in her throat. She frowned, frustrated with herself for not even being capable of asking for what she needed. Before she could work up the courage to try again, Gloria found them. Gloria scolded the man, Jeremy, before noticing the state Annie was currently in.

Annie hadn't even noticed that her breath had grown short and quick, or that her hands had clenched into fists in her lap until Gloria pointed out her concern. She released the tension in her hands, stretching her fingers out flat against her thighs. "I- I'm fine." She picked the form up from where it sat beside her on the steps and placed it in Gloria's hands. She stood, quickly, and rushed pass Gloria back into the hotel. When she got back in the room, it looked as if everyone had already started the next meeting. She blushed at the idea of her arrival interrupting and sat down quickly, her hands once again in fists pushing against her legs.
 
Gloria blinked as the form was handed to her. Her eyes couldn't help glancing over it... A brief look of concern appeared as the older woman followed her client back inside, but at a slower pace. Gloria took her seat at the circle with everyone else, placing Annie's form on top of everyone else's. Glancing at the clock she knew that it was now time to start talking, and hopefully they would make more progress.

She assumed Dyne had told everyone what the new instructions were, so she merely sat there, waiting patiently. ​
 

Everyone seemed to be preoccupied with their forms for a while and Ariana felt tense, wondered if she was the strange to finish so quickly or if she hadn't seen a back side or something. Soon, though, the forms were quietly placed in the pile and though two of the members wandered away, Gloria went to go retrieve them. And then things shifted, now the man was asking them about them not divulging the whole truth. Ariana tried to think back, she'd been as honest as it seemed to have asked...? Now she wondered if she'd done a bad job answering and she bit her lip, glancing around.

Turning her attention to Dyne and trying to focus on the words he was saying, she realized that he was asking them to state in front of everyone the issues that they wanted to solve. Ariana took a sharp breath in - super personal right away! She was having trouble sitting still in her seat now, and she wanted to be helpful. She wanted to do just like they asked her to so that they could fix her or whatever...

Her eyes darted from one person to the other and what if they would judge her if she told them; what if they were all here for fairly routine or small things and then she said something like she didn't know why she was here but she was sure that there were some problems and this was free so maybe if they weren't big problems she'd just find out about them or something so that she didn't have to pay lots of money for nothing since she really couldn't afford that right now. Like, she was pretty sure that something needed to be done but if it was only hypnosis or something or one of those weird new talk therapy things where they make you better just by speaking with you, those would be really great and maybe free here too so that she could afford it. Ariana nibbled on her thumb nail now, attention caught by the rough edges before returning to stare at Dyne, wondering why he would ask them to be so super personal so fast.

"Well, I mean, I can go first but I put pretty much everything I could think of on the sheet and if you want me to revise the sheet then I think that I could probably do that even though you'd have to tell me what I did wrong because I was pretty sure I answered all the questions that applied to me and if I wasn't open enough then maybe your paper thing wasn't specific enough because I thought that I did a pretty good job filling it out. I don't know about talking to everyone about why we're here though, I mean, like we've already sort of introduced ourselves and our issues and I'm not shy but lots of these people I can tell aren't going to jive with the whole let's talk about why we're here in front of strangers bit. I mean, like you can tell, they're all being really quiet too so what are you wanting exactly, because in the introductions we talked shortly except not really because most of them only said that they were forced to come here but I think that maybe that means that they're not good with talking about it in front of people? I mean, I don't know for sure, but aren't you supposed to be the therapist person thing counselor here?"

Ariana broke off her statement to take a deep breath, her eyes still trained on Dyne, though Gloria had just walked in with the other girl's paperwork. Maybe Dyne wasn't good or qualified at all and it was only Gloria? Or what if the whole thing was some kind of scam where it was free but you had to buy something? Either way, Ariana wiggled a little in her seat and her foot kept tapping, though she didn't know when it had STARTED tapping.
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It took every last bit of Dyne's concentration to keep up with Ariana's speech. Luckily though, he managed. He paused for a moment after she finished, taking note of her fidgetting and tapping foot. She seems incredibly hyper, and pretty nervous as well. A bad combination. Then, in a calm voice, Dyne replied.

"I understand your concerns, and no, you won't need to revise anything on your form. But that's not really the point. I'm sure that most of you have probly heard before that, openly admitting that you have a problem is the first step to recovery. Well, that is very true, and while you may have done a very good job filling out the forms, that isn't quite the same as openly admitting your problems. No need to be embarrassed about anything here. Like i said, everyone is here for their own problems. No one can judge you for having an issue when they have their own."

He smiled to Ariana to try and reassure her. Then after a short pause, he spoke again.

"Now, Ariana, you mentioned that you might like to go first?"

 

From her previous outburst, Ariana was feeling a little bit embarrassed, especially with Dyne's cool answer to her. He might be right about no one judging her, or he could be totally off base but all that remained was that nothing was going to get done if someone didn't do something. Hadn't everyone always praised her for being an action girl, the kind of chick who took nothing sitting down? That was her all right, she thought with a small smile. The uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach turned a little though and she pictured all pairs of glassy reflective eyes turned towards her, showing no emotions. Her gaze flicked to each one. Bastards are watching me, just letting me take all the heat.

"Well, let's see... First of all I don't really know what's wrong and my family hasn't really been around for me a lot to try to force me to figure out what's wrong before now, you know? I mean, they were around some, they had to be no duh, but even when their bodies were there they weren't really there mentally they just seemed to be totally checking out, which was something I didn't think was abnormal until I got older and realized that the parents of other people are actually sometimes there both mentally AND physically. But anyway, so I've had these thoughts, you know, sometimes like I can't do anything right and I think that's depression but I don't always feel like that so everyone told me that it was probably just a case of the teenage blue and I guess that sort of made sense but then I worry a lot about things and sometimes things scare me that shouldn't scare me and even every now and then I'll feel super randomly annoyed. But then there's times like this, where everything is really super great and I just want to taste everything and touch it all! The colors are so amazing and I think that maybe this is what fairytale land should be like... oh, but to stay on topic! Yeah, so, I started thinking that maybe this isn't like... normal and stuff. There wasn't a question about being in love with the damn colors of everything though so I couldn't exactly answer it all the way, which is why I said..."

Their eyes, everyone's soulless eyes. They seemed to be boring into her, listening to her talk and taking the details. None of them with a spine to talk about themselves, just letting her stand there and make a fool of herself. Fiery, Ariana whipped around to some of them. "You! All of you are the types of assholes that make me sick! You just sit there, pretending you want to be helped but you don't do shit about it! When it comes down to it, you're more than happy to throw someone under the bus and make a whole show about how you went and sought out help. It don't mean a thing if you don't try to be helped. I'm trying so hard because I want to be more like normal and stable but you all, hiding behind cute answers and evasive words. You guys are the lowest!"

Ariana was fuming and she flopped back into her seat with her arms crossed, her eyes flicking from face to face. Her dark hair had fallen partially over her face but she didn't care at all. If they kicked her out, fine. She didn't want to be the only one here trying to get better.

She realized she was being hasty about three minutes later, repeating every word she'd just spoken back to herself. She really hoped that they didn't kick her out for that outburst - she was broke and she didn't have the money to pay to get the help she wanted.
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Some part of him, a way long time ago, would have laughed at Ariana's outburst. But Andy talked as if she had said nothing "I am here because my family is concerned for my emotional state. They're concerned for my lack of expression" his eyes drifted lazily toward Ariana before floating back to looking at nothing in particular "If I go through this counseling maybe my family will get the results they're looking for and stop worrying about me, it's distracting them from more important things. I'm willing to cooperate with anything no matter how monotonous, boring, or trivial it is. I'm her FOR my family even if it's a waste of their time. My time. Or your time. My problem" and here he rolled his eyes "is not feeling." Such a ridiculous thing.
 
Ariana's words stung. The heat of her disdain towards the group caused Annie to flinch. She pulled her feet up to her seat, wrapping her arms around her legs and resting her head on her knees. Her hair fell down to create a blond shield around her. She just wanted to be invisible. She was tempted to act like she had when she was a child, to pull her arms and head into her oversized t shirt, convinced that no one could see her that way. If she did that now though, she'd only look ridiculous.

Andy's answer seemed honest enough. It gave Annie the courage to speak next. She lifted her head and opened her mouth to speak. Immediately the courage left her, and only some murmered, unintelligible syllable came out. She frowned in frustration, glaring at the floor in the middle of the circle of people, so furious at herself for not being able to speak up through her anxiety. It's not like these people knew her or cared. But I care. And that was enough to make this difficult. She tried again, her voice as loud as she could make it, but still quiet enough that she worried Gloria and Dyne wouldn't be able to hear her. "My si-... Uhm... She..." The pauses between her attempted confessions felt interminable, but she couldn't get it out. Not to all of these people. The problem was now that they wouldn't care, so why should they hear this? Fuck it. "I'm a bit of an alcoholic." That was probably an understatement, but it was at least one of her problems.
 
Gloria felt the beginnings of panic settle in her blood as she listened to Ariana's outburst. She hoped that no one would start crying right now before they had actually started. The only reason she didn't get up right away to console her was because two other people had spoken up.

Andy's family had been right. The fellow was very indifferent to Ariana's words. Very indifferent. Perhaps something traumatic happened to him... It would have to be something far in the past if the family were this concerned. Then Annie spoke... Remembering how she reacted outside the hotel, Gloria was struck by the girl's courage. She knew there was more to this person's story, but getting it out of her was going to take a lot of time and persistence.

She nodded to the three of them, her golden locks falling from her shoulders to her front. With each person's input and confession, Gloria murmured a soft thank you. She waited for anyone else who wished to speak. ​
 
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