Corrupt-A-Wish

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Granted. You may wish all you like, however there is no guarantee anyone will grant them. That's why it's called wishing right?

I wish for a cheese sandwich.
 
Granted, here is your mouldy cheese sandwich

I wish for my shoulder muscles not to painfully seize up all the time
 
Granted. You are now paralyzed from the neck down.

I wish for the world to explode.
 
I'm not sure how to ruin this one. It sounds like the perfect wish.

Um...Granted, but you just killed all the fairies.

I wish I had a suit like Iron Man.
 
Granted. However, it never comes off. Ever. Including when you need to go to the bathroom, want to go to sleep and things like that.

I wish for eternal life. (What could possibly go wrong here >_>)
 
Granted. It comes with eternal boredom.

I wish for shapeshifting powers.
 
Granted. You now have the power to transform from a human into anything you want to. (Meaning you won't be able to use it more than once.)

I wish the power to see through walls, without altering my current vision as it is at the moment of making this wish. (And no, I wasn't blinking, nor were my eyes closed for any other reason :P)
 
Granted, but with it comes complete insanity.

I wish for a cake!
 
Granted. Since you didn't specify whether you wanted a cake of the edible type or one of the fireworks type, I chose to put both into one. Also, it explodes if you cut into it.

I wish for the ability to breathe underwater.
 
Your wish is granted, and you develop a mutation enabling you to breathe underwater. However, it doesn't give you an immunity to crush depth pressure and you dive to your death.

I wish I could develop Force sensitivity.
 
Granted. You are now hypersensitive to force. Have fun going out on a windy day >=D.

I wish that I could understand Japanese language, both in all of its written forms and its spoken form.
 
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Granted. You now have a full understanding of the Japanese language. You are so fluent that you switch between English and Japanese when speaking and now everyone only half understands what you're saying.

I wish to be more flexible.
 
Granted. Your entire body is now made of rubber.

I wish to lead a revolution that topples all government and brings 1,000 years of peace to the entire world, over which the starting ideals of spark massive controversy that is then followed by a war which sends the entire planet into a radiation ridden hellhole world populated by mutated wildlife that kills every human.
 
Your wish has been granted. The world turns into a desolate hole, ruined by your egregious misuse of a magical wish. Eventually, without humans to cause any further damage, the planet slowly returns to its glorious green eden of before and the bacterium responsible for humans starts the process all over again. We're right back where we started. Up to this point in time. And your wish never ended up mattering.

I wish for empathy and communication with all lifeforms.
 
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Granted. You can now talk to every life form in current existence, constantly. The voices of every living thing fill your head at the same time, producing a very loud, head-ache inducing chatter with no distinct sounds hat can be made out. Eventually the constant mental sound, lack of ability to hear your surrounding s and the ability to hear your own thoughts drive you to suicide.

I wish I had and could properly wield a light saber.
 
Granted. You are now the proud owner of a saber weighing only 0.1 Kg, along with the experience needed to wield it.

I wish for Zero Escape 3 (A Visual novel; Google it) to be completed already.
 
Granted. The graphic novel is finished, but wont be released to the pubic in any form for another 5.2 years.

I wish I could set things on fire at will.
 
Granted, but there is no way to put out the fire (just hope it's not windy).

I wish I was able to create a whole new color that nobody has ever seen before.
 
Your wish is granted, and you are given insight on how to create a color that never existed before. You go on to receive many awards and are the basis of many discussions around the globe for your innovation. However, just as certain colors affect others subtly and psychologically, this new color instinctively drives everyone to start murdering each other. Mass genocide rocks the world. Oops!

I wish for a rubber ducky.
 
Granted. The reason nobody has ever seen it before is because it falls outside the human color spectrum. In other words, it's flatout impossible for humans to see, and always will be. Still, you made it, so yay for you?

EDIT: Damn you, ninja!

Granted. You know that giant rubber duck thing? It just appeared inside your house, breaking everything breakable in the process. Enjoy ^_^.

I wish for the power of telekinesis.
 
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