Corrupt a Wish

  • Thread starter IntrusivePenDesperateSword
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Granted. The word 'disadvantage' in your last wish is gone. Now people can abuse your wish by finishing the sentence.

I wish for a better PC so I can play better games
 
Granted you get a PC that can play better games, but as a result you are not trapped in a video game and cannot get out


I wish for a funeral for my puppy
 
Man, I... I can't mess up this. Granted. You now have the perfect funeral for your dog, cherishing each and every memory of yours and other's with it. Ugh, that's sad.

I wish that I know the meaning of my life.
 
Granted. You know realize that the meaning of your life is to corrupt each and every wish, including ones about puppy funerals, at least when it is about nonexisting puppies, and as a result corrupt the previous wish in a horrible, horrible fashion.

I wish for humanity, as in Homo Sapiens and all other members of the Homo genus, including but not limited to currently extinct species, to never have existed.
 
Granted, but now an even stupider and crueler species takes it places bathing the world in more bloodshed than humanity ever did

I wish not to be poor and have a little bit of life's basic needs
 
Granted. You now are no longer poor... on the world's average. You also get a single bread, a bottle of water and a tent, along with a handful of other basic thingies. Any and all luxury items (your car, your computer, any and all video games et cetera), however, do not count as "life's basic needs" and as such are removed from your posession.

I wish for the even stupider and crueler species that appeared as a result of my previous wish to also never have existed.
 
Granted. The evil creatures that appeared from your last wish have never existed. Now animals, plants, fungi, and other microorganisms are the only living beings to ever exist. As such, living isolated from a dominating race like humans, life on earth made its own. Now the food chain is turned upside down as plants have out-evolved animals, and have long conquered and exterminated them. Now an ongoing, sappy (because plants nor fungi have blood) war has taken toll on most life on Earth, keeping the rest in a state of the limited fear they can feel.

I wish for the safes in my yard to be opened and my house, yard included, to be veiled in a protective bubble for one (1) hour, through which air can come. From then on, the bubble will leave an aura that repels anyone with intention to take the treasure not according to law, and the treasure is considered mine and mine only by authorities.
 
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Granted. The safes are opened, revealing steaming piles of trash. The bubble is unnecessary because no one wants to go near you. The smell embeds itself into your skin and you can never get rid of it. Your house is surrounded by a thick ring of rats, mice, raccoons, and the like, as they desire your 'treasure' they cannot pass the bubble. As the authorities recognize that the treasure is yours you are fined huge amounts for ruining your entire neighborhood with the stench. Soon everyone around you moves away and you are left alone. If you attempt to leave the bubble you are mobbed by rabid animals who have been trying to get at your treasure.
One man's trash is another man's treasure, right?
Well, maybe not yours, but someone's.

I wish I was as pretty as the girls in anime.
 
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IntrusivePenDesperateSword said:
I wish for ancient treasure to be delivered to my doorstep safely and therefrom protected.
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Neobullseye said:
Granted; the treasure appears on your doorstep..
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CandyQueen said:
Granted. The safes are opened, revealing steaming piles of trash.
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CandyQueen said:
One man's trash is another man's treasure, right?
Well, maybe not yours, but someone's.
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Who in their right mind would regard trash as 'ancient treasure'?

Anyhow, granted. You now have the approximate appearance of an average anime girl... Which is null besides an idea and a number of pixels. So if you've ever wanted to lose your physical form, then congrats!

I wish for what was considered valuable materials both now and in ancient civilizations of Earth, to appear in front of my house in large but reasonable and humane quantities, protected from leaving my ownership without my consent with the aforementioned bubble and aura, and at a position in front of my house where I may realistically approach within one inch of it in less than five minutes if starting inside my house.
 
Granted. A large amount of gold appears in front of your house. To be exact, it apears right on the road in front of your house right as your [enter loved person here] drives by, causing him/her to slam into it and die in the crash. On a sidenote, at about the same time an extraordinary amount of gold is found in several mines all across the planet, causing the value of gold to plummet like a sack of bricks. You did specifify that you wanted a material that was considered valuable, not necessarily one that still is.


I wish for a wallet that:
- Will always stay within a spot where I can reach and open it. Inside my body does not count as being able to reach it, by the way.
- Will never be taken away from me, wether by force, by theft or by any other means, including but not limited to the destruction of the wallet.
- Will always contain the exact amount of coinage I need to pay for anything I want to buy or pay for plus a small bit extra in case I want to tip someone, all in the tender of my choice and all in legal tender.
- Does not in any way, shape or form hinder my ability to function as a normal human being, including but not limited to indirect means such as causing people to be jealous.
 
IntrusivePenDesperateSword said:
Who in their right mind would regard trash as 'ancient treasure'?
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Archaeologists.
IntrusivePenDesperateSword said:
So if you've ever wanted to lose your physical form, then congrats!
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All I've ever wanted.

Neobullseye said:
I wish for a wallet that:
- Will always stay within a spot where I can reach and open it. Inside my body does not count as being able to reach it, by the way.
- Will never be taken away from me, wether by force, by theft or by any other means, including but not limited to the destruction of the wallet.
- Will always contain the exact amount of coinage I need to pay for anything I want to buy or pay for plus a small bit extra in case I want to tip someone, all in the tender of my choice and all in legal tender.
- Does not in any way, shape or form hinder my ability to function as a normal human being, including but not limited to indirect means such as causing people to be jealous.
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Granted. This wallet is massive, bright pink, and bedazzled with all the skill and class a six year old has. It is too large to fit in any of your pockets but would fit in a bag. If you forget it it will float next to you, making no noise and not disturbing you at all. No one is jealous.
 
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CandyQueen said:
Granted. This wallet is massive, bright pink, and bedazzled with all the skill and class a six year old has. It is too large to fit in any of your pockets but would fit in a bag. If you forget it it will float next to you, making no noise and not disturbing you at all. No one is jealous.
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I can live with this ^_^

Also, you still have to make a wish :P
 
Granted, but the dragon is wingless and so extremely overweight (it hoards food) that it moves at a crawling/waddling pace. Pedestrians are passing you.


I wish that I had a bag that I could store infinite items in.
 
Killjoy said:
Granted, but the dragon is wingless and so extremely overweight (it hoards food) that it moves at a crawling/waddling pace. Pedestrians are passing you.
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Hell yeah, I have a dragon.
Killjoy said:
I wish that I had a bag that I could store infinite items in.
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Granted. The bag is the size of your house, and also only accepts clean tissues. Any other thing you try to put in it is blown up immediately.

I wish for more wishes.
 
Granted; you are now a wishing well.

I wish for the ability to grant my own wishes in the exact way I want them to be granted, without being forced to grant other people their wishes.
 
Granted, you are awarded the powers of a genie not forced to answer anyone. Although, as you are a mere mortal given these powers, you die before you're able to wish for immortality.

I wish for motivation to come upon me like some metaphorical heavenly gift.
 
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Granted. The motivation to consume copious amounts of salt has descended upon you.

I wish for some non-poisonous, conventionally edible food that I will find delicious.
 
Granted. Before you lies a molecule of the most delicious food you've ever... Oh, nevermind, there it goes, reacting with its surroundings.

I wish for some water to go with all this salt.
 
Granted; here, have a glass of sea water.

I wish it wasn't so hot over here D:
 
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