Corrupt a Wish

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Granted. Human skin suddenly stops producing heat and pain receptors. You can't feel lava, but you're still injured.

I wish there was a sustainably higher amount of cats.
 
Congrats, there's a susbtainably high number of cats now in the world because all humans have become cats. After a while, the cat humans slowly lose their past memory and die. As there are no more humans, once the cats all die, the entire food chain is destroyed. But for a while, there were a substainably high number of cats.

I wish for a remote.
 
Granted. However, it has no batteries.

I wish for a dominos pizza, meat feast and stuffed crust with cheese, tomato base and hot. Adhering to top pizza-making standards.
 
Granted, before you is the described pizza. However, it lies upside down, and all the filling is now stuck on your dirty table, ew.

I wish every being capable of language spoke English.
 
Congrats, everyone speaks English and only English. Everyone understands everyone and simple misunderstanding escalate to chaos. Just because everyone speaks English... doesn't mean that everyone removes their customs and hence everything is destroyed from chaos.

I wish for a puppy.
 
Did you say pup or puppy? Sorry, I wasn't really paying attention. They're basically the same thing though, right? Anyway. Granted! A shark pup appears on the ground in front of you. Unfortunately, baby sharks can't breath on land so it flops around for a minute or two, then dies. Good job. You murdered a perfectly healthy little fish. At least you can make a nice soup though?

I wish for... A Pterodactyl. One that won't eat me, or any other human unless commanded by to do so. It must be highly trained and intelligent... Loyal only to me, and following any and all instructions I give.
 
Granted. The entire world is now Jurassic World overrun by dinosaurs. You have one pterodactyl that's loyal to you, but the other pterodactyls aren't, never mind all the other human-killing dinosaurs.

I wish for an army of clones.
 
That sounds pretty rad.

Sure. You now have an army, made entirely of exact replica's of yourself - Congrats!. ...Unfortunately, each clone is convinced it's the original, so a mass slaughter proceeds until only one remains - and it's not you, the true original. Shame, that.

Hm.. What do I want... I wish for the world to be taken over by a giant neon pink crab! :D
 
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{{Okay can't respond because seriously don't know how to respond to above but truthfully can't stop laughing at everything I've been reading}}
 
Congrats! The world has been taken over by a giant neon pink crab.... however, it's a food corporation called the giant neon pink crab and also they have blocked out the sun with their new location around the planet. Your only option is to go to their restaurant and pay their abysmal prices or die on a desolate earth.

I wish that everyone was laughing when they read this thread.
 
GRANTED! Everyone is now laughing when they read this thread; however it is a insane Joker type laughter which can not be stopped EVER. Thus everyone who reads this thread now dies from lack of oxygen to the brain alas they do die with a creepy smile on their faces.

I wish I could finally happiness.
 
Granted, you can now happiness. However, as "happiness" isn't a verb in any human languages, I had to make do. Whenever you now happiness, a random cubic inch of wood is transformed into a balloon.

I wish everyone was more happy and in less pain.
 
Granted, everyone is now happier and in less pain. Now, no one can physically feel anything as their nerves have become immune to outside stimulation and their brains constantly produce dopamine which makes it impossible for them to feel any other emotions no matter the situation.

I wish to be taller!
 
Granted, your legs are 500,000 km long, and promptly break. Before they do though, and you plummet back to earth, you choke from, you know, space.

I wish a crucial and positively epochal breakthrough in AI safety research was made.
 
Granted. The AI become so safe that they don't do anything anymore. The AI realize that living a sedentary lifestyle is awesome for their well being as well. When humans try to command them to do stuff, they don't, because it's safest that way for all parties.

I wish food replicators from Star Trek were invented.
 
Granted. All your favorite foods are infinitely at your and your fellow humans disposal. But several food related workplaces, such as the whole fishing industry, supermarkets, breweries, restaurants, and any other place that lived off processing or selling food goes bancrupt, resulting in unemployment rates skyrocketing like never before.

I wish to have the most majestic fake mustache mankind has ever seen!
 
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Granted, you are awarded a quite marvelous, remarkably majestic fake mustache. However, it does not look real. Any attempts at wearing it is met with "Huh, that looks cool, but why are you wearing it on your face?" and "Haha who do you think you're fooling? Looks nice tho".

I wish humanity was united under a single, fairly liberal government.
 
Granted. Fairness and unity was achieved by killing all people except one. The remaining person is literally a single government. It's liberal because they can do whatever they want with the remainder of their life.

I wish that everyone could simply decide when to wake up each day, and regardless of when they went to bed, they'd always get a good night's sleep.
 
Your wish is granted.... but as nobody is synchronized, the sleeping and waking up make it impossible for any communication between people and the world eventually descends into anarchy.

I wish for a happy tragedy to be written.
 
Granted, but what's the point of it being happy when it still ends as a tragedy?

I wish that Infinity Wars becomes an Insanity War.
 
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