Corrupt a Wish

You got a porkchop that is poisoned and is always back mouthing you.

I wish for a cute living puppy.
 
You receive an adorable puppy...that stays alive for about a day before getting run over.

I wish for shoes.
 
You get cursed shoes that dance you to death.

I wish to sparkle.
 
Granted, but Edward sparkles better and beats you.

I wish for the world to be blue.
 
Congrats, the world is blue because we are all underwater and .... well, not around.

I wish for a dish.
 
You get a dish, but it's a dish as in a beautiful woman. You fall in love with her but she friendzones you.

I wish I could find a job lol
 
Granted, you've been taken up as a phone assembler in some low-standard Chinese factory for the equivalent of 15 cents a day.

I wish for myself to gain the most useful object that would vastly simplify the most situations over my entire life.
 
We give you the internet. It has crummy connection, and the object controlling sucks you in, leaving you trapped there forever.

I wish to meet a stranger.
 
Granted, you are taken to Ho Chi Minh city, where a Dwarf claiming to be from the Blue Mountains runs up to you, punches you in the dingle dangles, and runs off with your left shoe.

I wish for this next post to be in Comic Sans >:D.
 
@Nue
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Granted. However, you become manipulative with such power and people start avoiding you like the plague. Anyone you seduce against their will hates you. You've become the villain.

I wish for a drum kit.
 
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Granted, but it's Jacksepticeye's drum kit and he beats the shit out of you to get it back.

I wish for a world of magical powers, amazing creatures, and fantasy funtimes.
 
(Honestly if Jack beat me up to get that awesome thing back I wouldn't even be mad.)

Granted! It's in your head. You think it's real. You're insane. Welcome to the asylum.

I wish for a castle.
 
Granted, but the castle is haunted.

I wish for a big pipe organ.
 
Granted, but the castle is haunted.

I wish for a big pipe organ.
Granted, although the pipe organ gains sentience and constantly follows you no matter where you go, playing chopsticks over and over again.

I wish for love.
 
Granted, although the pipe organ gains sentience and constantly follows you no matter where you go, playing chopsticks over and over again.

I wish for love.
Granted, you now have five missed calls from your mother.

I wish for my wish to not be granted
>:D
 
Your impossible wish has opened a black hole which absorbs the earth, instantly killing every living thing.

I wish I had some energy
 
Granted. You're on fire.

I wish for a rectal probe by aliens. HA! Try and corrupt THAT!!
 
Granted. However, having overestimated their size, you leave the experience with multiple flesh wounds. Also you die. Also, not wanting to give up so soon, the aliens keep trying on all humans.

I wish my lips never chapped.
 
Okay, should probably have seen something like that coming.

Granted. You wake up with your lips surgically removed.

I wish for Tribbles.