Corrupt a Wish

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Granted. Galactus eats you bit by bit.

I wish for a rainbow pony.
 
Granted. It is untamed, angry, giant size, and shoots deadly rainbow laser beams at will.

I wish that internet memes were forever forgotten by everyone.
 
'Meme' is a pretty wide term, sure you wanna... Ok, granted. All ways imaginable of sharing culture through the internet is now forgotten by everyone. You've... Halted globalization, I guess?

I wish for an invisibility cloak.
 
Granted. It is itself invisible and feels like air when touched.

I wish that everyone could conjure food from nothing.
 
Granted. Everyone can conjure food from nothing. Absolutely everyone at least kind of sentient. Everyone pregnant are advised from being so. Also, do you know how long it takes for organic material to be broken down when there's equivalents of garbage dumps of it everywhere?

I wish for plants to be able to sustain themselves on nothing, yet still being ablebto grow like usual.
 
Granted. You now have infinite and unrestricted power. Of course, with great power comes great responsibility and all that. So technically, with infinite power comes infinite responsibility? Plus, suddenly human seem so much more worthy of love in your eyes. Too bad destruction comes so easily now.

I wish for the body build of Batman's actor.
 
You get the body build of Adam West. So not bad. It evens out.

I wish for the perfect game.
 
[BCOLOR=transparent]Granted. You get a video game so compellingly perfect, that as you play, anything else seems to matter less and less, until one day, there is nothing but the game. The game is all, and all is the game. Besides the game is void. There is only the game.[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]There is only the game.[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]There is only the game.[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]There is only the game.[/BCOLOR]


[BCOLOR=transparent]I wish for a dog.[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]Terms and agreements[/BCOLOR]
[BCOLOR=transparent]By granting this wish, you agree to the following terms and agreements. If you do not agree to the terms and agreements, do not grant the wish.[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]READ THE FOLLOWING TERMS AND AGREEMENTS CAREFULLY.[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]1. Binding to the contract[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]By granting this wish, The Genie (you) agree to having to fulfill the contents of the wish completely, and without exception creating what is mentioned to be created, and setting into effects any event mentioned to be set into effect. By granting this wish, you also bind yourself under the laws of these terms and agreements under IntrusivePenDesperateSword (IPDS), and are to follow them completely.[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]2. Wish details[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]The object wished for by IPDS is to be free from mental illnesses, including but not limited to: rabies, depression, anxiety, or mind melting. The object wished for by IPDS is also to be unharmed, and be in such a physical state as if it has been raised by a "loving owner, truthfully caring for its dog". The object wished for by IPDS will also be inheriting the mindset and body shape and size of a dog which has known and loved IPDS for all of its above 2 but under 6 year life.[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]3. Disclaimer[/BCOLOR]

[BCOLOR=transparent]IPDS will take no responsibility for any activities done by the wished object, nor any damage caused by the wished object, indirect nor direct. Any and all charges and otherwise responsibility relating to the wished object are to be held towards you.[/BCOLOR]
 
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Granted. You get a perfectly healthy, perfectly loving dog, as stated in clause 2... which is still owned by the local dog breeder. He then sues you for stealing said dog, something for which the wished object itself is not responsible and therefore does not breach clause 3 of the contract. Note that the wording of clause 1 states that I, the Genie, have to create everything that is stated in the T&A and set into motion all the events mentioned in them, but does NOT state that I'm not allowed to set into motion any effects not mentioned into them -- which is logical, because you, a normal human being, could never hope to oversee all the possible effects on reality itself magic could have.


I wish for a fish.
 
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Neobullseye said:
Granted. You get a perfectly healthy, perfectly loving dog, as stated in clause 2... which is still owned by the local dog breeder. He then sues you for stealing said dog, something for which the wished object itself is not responsible and therefore does not breach clause 3 of the contract. Note that the wording of clause 1 states that I, the Genie, have to create everything that is stated in the T&A and set into motion all the events mentioned in them, but does NOT state that I'm not allowed to set into motion any effects not mentioned into them -- which is logical, because you, a normal human being, could never hope to oversee all the possible effects on reality itself magic could have.
Click to expand...
Every loophole you exploit will only get me back stronger next time.


Granted. You're having fish for dinner. Salmon is good for you. You know, when it isn't in space. It's in all technicality in your possession, but not within a reachable distance. You never craved it to be.

I wish for a lawyer that is alive, healthy, and willing to work for my case.
 
Granted. He is, however completely incompetent at his job.


I wish for you, the evil genie, to turn into a benevolent genie for as long as I, the wishing party, wish you to be so. Furthermore, if I die before I wish you to return you your evil genie ways, you are to stay a benevolent genie for the rest of eternity.
 
Granted. That was your one wish. Have a nice day. I'll go be benevolent to you and you alone somewhere else.

I wish for a single atom on Mars' surface to be gain an extra proton and electron in their respective places.
 
Granted. Mars now has an extra proton and electron....except you'll never see the end result because it threw both of its moons at your face to tell you to proofread your writing because your grammar made no logical sense.

I wish for an endless supply of chocolate
 
Yatagarasu said:
Granted. Mars now has an extra proton and electron....except you'll never see the end result because it threw both of its moons at your face to tell you to proofread your writing because your grammar made no logical sense.

I wish for an endless supply of chocolate
Click to expand...

As for the wish: Granted, the cycle of water is replaced by the cycle of chocolate. It now rains chocolate, people excrete chocolate et cetera; in short, the world has a practically endless supply of chocolate. Of course, it might run out of water in the process, but hey, at least you'll die happy :D

I wish for humanity to have never existed, thus saving the planet and the life on it from a whole lot of suffering
 
Granted. Humanity, as in kindness and benevolence, has never existed. I don't know what you're talking about with your "saving the planet from suffering", it just got worse.

I wish for figuratively sick video editing skills to be given to me, in the form of innate knowledge on the topic.
 
Granted. Video editing skills become all that you know, along with sleeping, eating and breathing. You forget the rest.

I wish for a son.
 
Granted. You get a 'medium-sized, main-sequence star located in a spiral arm of the Milky Way galaxy, orbited by all of the planets and other bodies in our solar system and supplying the heat and light that sustain life on Earth.'

And you die.

I wish for grated cheese.
 
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You get a lump of... something. It certainly contains cheese, that once upon a time was grated, but mold now makes up the majority.

I wish for ancient treasure to be delivered to my doorstep safely and therefrom protected.
 
Granted; the treasure appears on your doorstep... sealed in a small safe, which is sealed in a medium-sized safe, which in turn is sealed in an even larger safe, and so on and so forth until the final safe is the size of your house. It can't get more protected than that, right? And to make sre it's absolutely protected from everyone, I'll keep the safe keys and combinations to myself. On a sidenote, the giant safe prevents your door from opening and blocks out all sunlight from entering the house.

I wish for the ability to transform into any animal I want to and back again whenever I want and ONLY when I want, without my mind being affected by the animal's instincts..
 
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