Corrupt A Wish

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Quiet One said:
Granted, you are now blind.

I wish for a competent lawyer to help with my previous wish.
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Granted, he is the lawyer God. His smooth-talking and posturing are so otherworldly that you are likely to accidentally sign away ownership of the company to him before you even realize what happened.

Jhuton said:
Very well, you get me, but after I help you win your case, you cant afford to pay me and I sue.

I wish I had a burger
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I spit on it. Here you go.

I wish for a tasty desert. (no that is not misspelled)
 
Granted, you are in a desert of fried chicken, but the hot grease burns you with every touch.

I wish for beard. Yes, beard, not bread.
 
Quiet One said:
Granted, you are in a desert of fried chicken, but the hot grease burns you with every touch.

I wish for beard. Yes, beard, not bread.
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Sure thing. Blackbeard is now in your house. You should become the best of... oh he stole your everything...

I wish the slider on my 3DS could be used to go inside and outside of the game world.
 
Granted, but it gets stuck when you go in so now you are trapped.

i wish i had a horse
 
Granted, but inside the game world your slider gets stolen and a video game character uses it to escape, leaving you trapped there. He then turns the game off. Mwahaha.

Dammit! You beat me to it! Okay, granted, but it's killed in your bed godfather style.

Now I wish for bread.
 
Quiet One said:
Granted, but inside the game world your slider gets stolen and a video game character uses it to escape, leaving you trapped there. He then turns the game off. Mwahaha.

Dammit! You beat me to it! Okay, granted, but it's killed in your bed godfather style.

Now I wish for bread.
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Granted. You get the bread from I Am Bread, in your house, while you are away from home.

I wish I had more time in the day.
 
What is I Am Bread?

Granted, time has stopped and you spend a single second as a hundred years, dying alone in the space between seconds.

I wish for another chicken sandwich. I'm still hungry.
 
Granted, you are now the proud owner of a live chicken sandwich. To be perfectly clear, your sandwich is a live chicken with two slices of bread attached to its head with a length of string.

I wish for...the power to know precisely what the end of Inception is supposed to mean.
 
granted. you're now left more confused.

i wish to be batman
 
Granted, you are Adam West Batman.

I wish for a singing and dancing Abraham Lincoln candygram.
 
Quiet One said:
Granted, you are Adam West Batman.

I wish for a singing and dancing Abraham Lincoln candygram.
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Granted, but it was delivered by John Wilkes Booth, half-eaten, crippled, and mute. Also dead.

I wish someone would pet me with care and affection.
 
Granted. You are petted with care and affection, then cooked and devoured.

I wish I didn't live on an island in these hot times
 
Grantee. You now lice on and island wirh freezing cold temperatures.

I wish I didn't have to feel feelinga.
 
Very well. You are now dead

I wish Gonzo was sober
 
Well, it's slowly sowlu happing because I'm not feeling like I'm drunk and ita becoming a bit easier to type. But now my drunkness is passed to yous

I wish I could be 10/10 handsom.
 
Granted. Now you are raped mercilessly.

I wish I could see you typing with a buzz right now
 
You get to see my typing with a buzz cut. Boom. I win.

I wish I could have more wishes.

(I had to look at that, and this like twice before sending.)
 
Granted, but these wishes are fueled by your life force and slowly kill you

I wish It wasn't three in the morning
 
Granted. It is not 8 in the morning and your still not asleep.

I wish it wasn't 1 in the morning.
 
Very well. it's now 1:01.

I wish I could drink clouds
 
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