Corrupt-A-Wish Thread

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Granted but they are special made potato chips that are for malnourished individuals and eating one will make you gain 15 pounds.

I wish my favorite pair of shoes wouldn't be so tight on my toes.
 
granted, instead they become so big that you can't walk in them

I wish I could loose a couple of kilos
 
Granted but they return faster than you lost them and then continue to keep coming.

I wish this itch would go away!
 
granted but instead of itching it starts to burn

I wish I have the phantom of the opera movie
 
Granted it's on Laserdisk

I wish I had a concert going on outside my house
(and I will execute anyone who says a crappy band for un-originality)
 
Granted, and it's a great band that you love but an incident involving you standing too close to one of the speakers by accident results in you being unable to hear the entire thing. To make matters worse, you didn't hear when someone asked you to move and so you couldn't even enjoy the concert because you got knocked out instead.

I wish that I could understand what animals say.
 
Granted, only you find youself becoming the first target of Nature's Wrath.

I wish I could live someplace peaceful.
 
Your wish is accepted, but you are killed in order to reach and achieve said peacefulness.

I wish the sky was blue...
 
Granted, but then you realize you've just woken up from an eighty-year coma where you dreamed the sky was purple so often that now you have convinced yourself it is indeed purple. People think you're nuts for thinking the sky is purple and for wishing it was blue. Oh, and you're old and wrinkly now.

I wish I could voluntarily shapeshift into anything I wanted without getting stuck in a form different from my original one.
 
Granted but you do it so often, you forget what your original one looked like.

I wish I could figure out my character's personalities.
 
Granted, but you figure out so many character personalities that they echo in your head at all times. You're diagnosed as a harmless schizophrenic and stuck in a mental ward, where you spend all day narrating events from the viewpoints of your characters.

I wish that someone would feel generous and just give me a hundred dollars.
 
Granted but a strong gust blows it away into the hands of a pan handler who desperately does NOT need it.

I wish my friend had roommates who would clean up their messes that they make... and maybe not make a swirling bubble of stink in the hallway by cleaning ONE of their rooms or the bathroom.
 
Congrats, they're now clean- so clean that they think that you're being untidy and leaving your spaces dirty.

I wish I had more twinkies....
 
Wish granted but you realize that the twinkies are poisoned and you die. ^^

I wish that my eyes could change color at my will.
 
Granted, but then you have them gauged out by bulls who happen to be color blind.

I wish I didnt break that plate. :[
 
You wake up tomorrow to find that plate itself magically seems to be repaired. But when you open your cupboard, you find that all your forks and spoons have been turned into plates and all your knives have been turn to plates. You try to call the police to report the Plate crimes in your house only to findout that your phone is a plate. Turn on your TV to find that it's the all Plate marathon all day and that your TV is just a giant plate. You run outside to get into your car to get away from the plate madness only to find that outside is a plate. You turn around to try to escape the Plateness, but as soon as you turn around... YOU ARE A PLATE! And you totally get used by me while I eat some turbo hot and spicy Curry. Also you still retain your ability to feel and taste anything that touch your plateself. And you have the urge to scream, but have no mouth.

I wish for Goku's Nimbus cloud.
 
Granted.

But you can't use it, you perv.
You fall through it.



I wish there was a nice, respectful, kind, honest, somewhat good-looking, kinky, intelligent, creative, imaginative, twenty-three year old male genuinely mentally, emotionally and sexually interested in me, living in the same city I live.

Seriously.
 
Granted but once you met and marry him you find out they he is not from your planet and is there to kill you and go home even though he loves you. He kills you and then goes home killing himself afterwards for killing his true love.

I wish I could breath.
 
granted but you breath so fast so you pass out

I wish that my stomach didn't hurt
 
Granted but no your tummy feels funny.

I wish I had a jar of dirt.
 
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