Corrupt-A-Wish Thread

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Granted, but you are sued by several very wealthy authors for plagiarism, and their collective teams of Ninja Lawyers from Hell manage to get you the death penalty.

I wish I had super strength.
 
Granted. You just can't control it, and thus break everything you ever attempt to hold or grab. And hurt people, of course.

I wish I could shapeshift into whatever, at my own will.
 
Granted, but you do not retain the mental capacity of your human self. Upon turning into a dog, you forget who you are and how to shapeshift, and spend the rest of your life licking yourself and chasing cats.

I wish I was in an anime!
 
Granted, but the anime is the one of the fighting styles and you die quickly since you do not retain the information when you arrived.

I wish I was a master RP-er. ;P
 
Granted, but your RPs are doomed to be infested with Rules Lawyers, Munchkins, and generally unpleasant people.

I wish I was in the future.
 
Granted, but there is no future and you are just floating in space and die due to lack of air. Or there is a crazy species that ate you. either way...

I wish I could visit an old English Castle.
 
Granted, but the castle is haunted by the ghost of Jack the Ripper, and he traps you in the castle to slowly kill you.

I wish I had a harem of beautiful women.
 
Granted, but all of the women hate you and every time you approach them, they start crying piteously and accusing you of keeping them trapped as your harem girls.

I wish that I were a goddess.
 
Granted, but no matter what you do no one believes in you and, because God need prayer badly, blink out of existence.

I wish I had wings.
 
Granted, the rest of your body stays exactly the same, preventing you from doing anything more than feebly flapping your wings and catching them on doorways.


I wish I had a kitti
 
You get a kitti but it kills you when you're asleep

I wish I had a cute monkey :D
 
Granted, but it is psychotic and poisons your milkshakes.

I wish I had magic powers.
 
Granted.

But all you can do is summon stale marshmallows from the astral plane.


I wish I could see the stars.
 
Granted, you are thrown out the airlock.

I wish I had unlimited money.
 
Okay: You get buried under the ever increasing pile.

I wish I was a pro-wrestler.
 
Granted, however you are known only for losing, and are publicly assraped on the mat every three months.


I wish for a tuna sandwich.
 
Granted but if you eat it you will get poisoned and get paralysed in the whole body and never be able to move again

I wish that I could live without needing sleep
 
You get twice as much work to do at work/school/etc, and your looks gradually fade.

I Wish I could make my wish with Shenron instead of this evil forum. D:
 
Granted but Shenron will make your wish corrupted to xD

I wish I had all volumes of one piece that has come out.
 
Granted, but they've been pissed on and children have drawn on every page with black marker.

I wish someone would corrupt my wish.
 
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