Corrupt-A-Wish Thread

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No war exists after nuclear war wipes out humanity. Humans = War!

I wish I had pizza the size of a car.
 
You get a pizza the size of a car BUT the pizza starts to live and eats you instead xD

I wish I had a better phone
 
you get a better phone, it however has such an oppressive plan that it sucks your finances dry.

I wish I didn't have to go to work tomorrow.
 
Granted, you get fired and don't need to go to work tomorrow or any other day.

I wish I wasn't so shy :o
 
Granted, instead you become so bold and brash that everyone hates you.

I wish I didn't have to clean my apartment.
 
Granted, you apartment is now on fire


I wish I drove an autobot.
 
Granted! You drive the last Autobot on earth..against the entire Decepticon army!

I wish I had the Back to the future car.
 
Granted, but the radio only plays bluegrass.

I wish I could be taller.
 
Granted. You are now so tall, that you scare away most people- not to mention, you don't fit in your favourite clothes anymore.

I wish I knew how to fly an airplane.
 
Granted however on your first real flight you crash into a firery explosion


I wish for a midget stripper
 
Granted, but the midget kidnaps you. It is an obese male and he wants to make you cry because it excites him.

I wish chocolate had no calories.
 
granted, it doesn't have any calories but it doesn't taste anything anymore either.

I wish I had a well trained dog ^^
 
Granted, but it has no legs and no teeth.

I wish I had a giant, indestructable war kitten to ride into battle.
 
Granted. You ride into battle and get injured soon, and spend the rest of your life in a hospital, unable to ever ride your kitten again.

I WISH I COULD TELEPORT MYSELF WHENEVER I WANTED TO WHEREVER I WANTED!
 
granted but people that happen to be closer than a mile from where you teleported and are teleported to will die.

I wish I could eat how much sweets and snacks I wanted without gaining or loosing any weight ;)
 
Granted, but eating a lot will make you shit rainbows every ten minutes to regulate your weight.


I wish my wishes didn't backfire.
 
Granted, now it back freezes

I wish I had two penises
 
Granted, but they are both small and every woman that sees it loose the want of sleeping with you.

I wish I was able to meet GazettE (JRock band)
 
Granted, however you catch several STD's after sleeping with the entire band, and it now feels like your peeing +3 Vorpal Razorblades

I wish I had a horse
 
Granted, but it's an old sickly horse that may pass away at any minute.

I wish I wrote a popular novel.
 
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