Ok,
@Kakumei I honestly don't think you've done anything wrong here rather than have some poor wording.
So I was originally just going to PM you this as a way to help you out... But as I got thinking this also involves another element, which I think some others need to hear.
Thanks
@Utsuho for already getting started on that front.
Firstly, let's look at the wording of your OP.
"I mean, I get he wants to be a she, and has work... But even if he gets his twig and berries removed, isn't he still a guy?"
Now I get you were just confused and looking to ask questions (and thankfully some other's realized that too) but the wording here also seemed rather... careless.
The way you simply referred to what is a long and hard operation as "gets his twig and berries removed" gives the impression your trivializing/down-playing it, which would get some people defensive about the topic.
Now, were they right to just jump in here and go "Oh boy! Shit Thread time!"? No, they weren't and I'll be getting to that later. However, some more... respectful/professional wording might have helped you avoid the confusion.
That, and remember how earlier you mentioned that you had to be told to stop posting in Debate Threads?
That's a big indicator that you're already building a reputation for yourself, a reputation of being someone who simply start argument's/fights.
And when you get this reputation you need to be even more careful with your wording, because now people are expecting/waiting for you to start something.
Now note, part of the reason I'm saying this is because back at the Guild (The site I came to Iwaku from) this was me.
I had the trend to entering a ton of debate threads, and aiming to have conversation for the sake of curiousity and exposing myself to new viewpoints.
However, my execution of it was poor. People didn't receive my actual intentions, but rather received it as "Gwazi's trying to pick a fight".
This very quickly started a downward spiral of people expecting me to pick a fight, then my poor delivery reinforcing that belief, causing an argument, worsening the reputation and repeat.
And back then, there was no one who bothered talking to me and saying "Look, people are starting to get a bad idea. I'm willing to help you with a better approach" until it was too late.
And the way they (I won't disclaim who unless they want me to) worded it was:
"You got a papercut. And papercuts fucking hurt - we all know this. But where most people would just be like "oh well" and slap a bandaid on it, you made sure to constantly irritate that cut so that the blood never really clotted properly and then you started really digging deep into your flesh and peeling your skin off and now I think that finger might need to be amputated".
Basically what I'm saying is, pay attention to the reputation, and take care not to peel at that paper cut.
By all mean's ask questions and talk with people, but you need to consider your wording carefully when in such a situation.
Ok, now to get onto "other elements".
You people ever hear of the saying "It takes two to start a fight"?
Well, coming into the thread and contributing nothing other than saying shit's being started or the thread is going to be closed isn't helping.
Especially when you're a staff member and your responsibility to keep the site civil and in order, not to help stir the pot.
Annoyed by Kakumei? Fine, that's your right.
Don't like Kakumei? Fine, that's also your right.
Find yourself pulling hairs at his opinions? Fine, that's your right as well.
But as mature and responsible adults take the high road and just don't say anything.
If what Kakumei, or anyone else for that matter is actually starting a fire it will either spread on it's own or be snuffed out from a lack of attention.
You contribute nothing by simply feeding the flame, in fact all you do by doing so is make the situation worse.
And does anyone here actually want Iwaku to be a place where threads constantly break out into arguments and get locked?
It doesn't have to be, that's going to require effort on everyone's part to make true. Don't start the arguments, don't retaliate to the arguments.
Lastly, we're all human and we all make mistakes.
Sometime's these mistakes make a bad first impression on people.
I'm sure everyone here has been victim of that, and didn't like how they were treated in the future because of that.
Remember that you're human too, and as a result are also susceptible to falling for first impressions of others.
Be mindful of that, remember individuals are complex creature's and there's more to them than first meet's the eye.
Now I realize this was actually a minority in this thread. Most people here actually behaved insanely well, which is amazing.
But there were still some who were guilty of it here, and I've seen this pop up in other threads too. So I figured something had to be said.
Thanks for reading.
