Confidence Issues

Rebornfan120

The roleplayer with interests outside the norm
Original poster
LURKER MEMBER
FOLKLORE MEMBER
Invitation Status
  1. Looking for partners
Posting Speed
  1. Multiple posts per day
  2. 1-3 posts per day
  3. 1-3 posts per week
Online Availability
Mornings, Afternoons and Evenings
Writing Levels
  1. Intermediate
  2. Adept
  3. Adaptable
Preferred Character Gender
  1. Male
  2. Primarily Prefer Male
Genres
Action, Adventure, Romance, Magical, Fantasy, Furry, Modern, Supernatural, Naurto, RWBY, Fairy Tail, Pokemon, Avatar/Korra, Hunter, Games, Fandoms
I'm going to try to start this light in search of answers. I'm curious to know if anyone has gone through this dilemma, reason I'm asking this in a sense is that I've been a member of Iwaku for some time now. And I'm seeing in 1x1's in terms of requests that there is a bit more of interest in certain ones than others, though I have done a interest thread myself it doesn't seem to be interesting to people. Sure I've gone and bumped it and edited it here and there along with still trying to look for interest and nothing seems to work, to me it feels like nothing is working for me in contrast to others and I'm wanting to know if your confidence in yourself and your interest check has ever gone down from how you've started the thread previously.
 
I've seen you post a lot of these threads over the past year. You have received some good advice, but I'm not sure if you've really taken any of it to heart. You can't take things personally. Role-players are all fickle little turds; it comes with the territory. If someone approaches you with interest, and then disappears, you need to take it in stride. It doesn't mean they don't like you. It doesn't mean they don't like your ideas. There could be a million and one reasons why they disappear.

If you're not getting any interest in your own interest check, seek out others. Don't be passive. Yes, it really sucks to not receive any interest in your own thread, but if you're really itching for a role-play, it's worth looking to others as well.

Now, this part might seem a bit harsh:
As much as role-playing is about telling a collaborative story, for a lot of players it is also about writing itself. If you're really finding yourself struggling with finding a partner, and it's something that's sincerely bringing you down, you can always spend some time improving your own writing skill. That being said, some people just want to focus on telling a story, and that's fine too! It can just be harder to find someone who values the same things as you in the hobby.

Iwaku is a fantastic site, but if you're having difficulty finding partners here, there's no shame in seeking other avenues as well. I don't think it's uncommon for role-players to be active on more than one site.
 
I've seen you post a lot of these threads over the past year. You have received some good advice, but I'm not sure if you've really taken any of it to heart. You can't take things personally. Role-players are all fickle little turds; it comes with the territory. If someone approaches you with interest, and then disappears, you need to take it in stride. It doesn't mean they don't like you. It doesn't mean they don't like your ideas. There could be a million and one reasons why they disappear.

If you're not getting any interest in your own interest check, seek out others. Don't be passive. Yes, it really sucks to not receive any interest in your own thread, but if you're really itching for a role-play, it's worth looking to others as well.

Now, this part might seem a bit harsh:
As much as role-playing is about telling a collaborative story, for a lot of players it is also about writing itself. If you're really finding yourself struggling with finding a partner, and it's something that's sincerely bringing you down, you can always spend some time improving your own writing skill. That being said, some people just want to focus on telling a story, and that's fine too! It can just be harder to find someone who values the same things as you in the hobby.

Iwaku is a fantastic site, but if you're having difficulty finding partners here, there's no shame in seeking other avenues as well. I don't think it's uncommon for role-players to be active on more than one site.

Iwaku is a fantastic site that is true. But for me it is relatively frustrating when other threads sees more interest than yours while yours gather nothing but dust. Sure most of the interest i had just up and disappeared from said interest and it also adds to the frustration when it happens. In terms of the "harsh" part it really isn't harsh to me but at the same time it is like 'what more can i do?' in order to have at least a look over.
 
Iwaku is a fantastic site that is true. But for me it is relatively frustrating when other threads sees more interest than yours while yours gather nothing but dust. Sure most of the interest i had just up and disappeared from said interest and it also adds to the frustration when it happens. In terms of the "harsh" part it really isn't harsh to me but at the same time it is like 'what more can i do?' in order to have at least a look over.

Honestly, I think you have built yourself a bit of a negative reputation here. To be frank, you seem to complain a lot. It might put off potential partners.

As far as your thread itself goes, try giving an example of your writing. Add plot ideas rather than just fandoms/pairings if you have any. It is a bit difficult to understand what you are saying at times; I would check over your grammar.
 
Iwaku is a fantastic site that is true. But for me it is relatively frustrating when other threads sees more interest than yours while yours gather nothing but dust. Sure most of the interest i had just up and disappeared from said interest and it also adds to the frustration when it happens. In terms of the "harsh" part it really isn't harsh to me but at the same time it is like 'what more can i do?' in order to have at least a look over.

Honestly, I think you have built yourself a bit of a negative reputation here. To be frank, you seem to complain a lot. It might put off potential partners.

As far as your thread itself goes, try giving an example of your writing. Add plot ideas rather than just fandoms/pairings if you have any. It is a bit difficult to understand what you are saying at times; I would check over your grammar.

I disagree with the whole negative reputation there and I don't complain a lot when I am pointing out something. I have a writing example of my writing style and despite this, it is like only one side of the coin is being seen most or all the time for me instead of both sides if you get my drift.
I have done plot ideas or explained them in PM's from potential interest and hasn't gotten me anywhere further.
 
I have a writing example of my writing style and despite this, it is like only one side of the coin is being seen most or all the time for me instead of both sides if you get my drift.

I don't quite understand, no. I'm having trouble parsing what you're trying to say.
You can try posting the plots directly on your thread instead of offering them up only when sent a PM.
 
And I'm seeing in 1x1's in terms of requests that there is a bit more of interest in certain ones than others, though I have done a interest thread myself it doesn't seem to be interesting to people.
Your interest check isn't always going to be everyone's cup of tea. Interest depends on a lot of things--the time of day you're posting, the time of year when it comes to school or holiday breaks, what is popular in media at the moment and on on and on. Take it from me, I've posted basically the same interest check for the last year or so, and the only thing that has really changed are my plot candies. Sometimes I've gotten a lot of interest to the point where I've had to say no to people because I was getting too many PMs, and other times, I got maybe one or two messages.

Have you gone through Partner Connections and checked to see if there's anyone you might be interested in writing with? Even if their ideas don't match up to what you want exactly, you can still chat and brainstorm and come up with something that you both like.

Bottom line, don't let a lack of response to your search have an impact on your confidence, because most of the time it's due to circumstance rather than anything personal.
 
  • Like
Reactions: RAIN.cloud
I have a writing example of my writing style and despite this, it is like only one side of the coin is being seen most or all the time for me instead of both sides if you get my drift.

I don't quite understand, no. I'm having trouble parsing what you're trying to say.
You can try posting the plots directly on your thread instead of offering them up only when sent a PM.

I know that. But at the same time whenever i do explain a pairing with a plot then it is hit and then poof gone, or gone entirely after.
 
And I'm seeing in 1x1's in terms of requests that there is a bit more of interest in certain ones than others, though I have done a interest thread myself it doesn't seem to be interesting to people.
Your interest check isn't always going to be everyone's cup of tea. Interest depends on a lot of things--the time of day you're posting, the time of year when it comes to school or holiday breaks, what is popular in media at the moment and on on and on. Take it from me, I've posted basically the same interest check for the last year or so, and the only thing that has really changed are my plot candies. Sometimes I've gotten a lot of interest to the point where I've had to say no to people because I was getting too many PMs, and other times, I got maybe one or two messages.

Have you gone through Partner Connections and checked to see if there's anyone you might be interested in writing with? Even if their ideas don't match up to what you want exactly, you can still chat and brainstorm and come up with something that you both like.

Bottom line, don't let a lack of response to your search have an impact on your confidence, because most of the time it's due to circumstance rather than anything personal.

I know my interest check is not going to be everyone's liking but seeing others get the looks instead of mine it is like 'what makes that check so special in compared to mine?'. Change for you I can say is lucky because I have done this interest check i have for a better part of a year or so and there was no overflow of messages, no overflowing interesting interest or too many PM's. And yes i have gone through Partner Connections recently but overall there is not a lot of connections there in terms for everyone to have something interesting in writing. I feel it is more of personal than circumstance because my style is different.
 
So, let me see if I'm understanding this correctly... You have gotten some interest in your threads, but everybody abruptly disappears on you during the discussion stage in pm? Would you say that most of them jump ship before the rp even starts, or once it actually gets posted/in progress?
 
Change for you I can say is lucky because I have done this interest check i have for a better part of a year or so
Then maybe it's time for a new interest check. Change it up a bit, add some plots even if they're just half-formed ideas, talk about a character you want to use for something, let people know you're open to their ideas in addition to what you've already listed. You could also add color and pictures, or devise a system to let potential partners know what you're really craving.

I know it can be really frustrating when you don't get the responses you're looking for, especially when you're eager to write, but you shouldn't compare your thread to another and feel down about it because it's not healthy thinking. Roleplaying is a hobby, and hobbies are supposed to be fun. If it stops being fun, then I'd recommend stepping away and reevaluating what you want from collaborative writing and the process in general.
 
  • Like
Reactions: RAIN.cloud
So, let me see if I'm understanding this correctly... You have gotten some interest in your threads, but everybody abruptly disappears on you during the discussion stage in pm? Would you say that most of them jump ship before the rp even starts, or once it actually gets posted/in progress?

Yeah in general most don't even send a PM claiming of said interest at all before the rp even has a chance to start. And the ones i don't have starred are ones that just stopped at some point even after i replied to them.
 
So, let me see if I'm understanding this correctly... You have gotten some interest in your threads, but everybody abruptly disappears on you during the discussion stage in pm? Would you say that most of them jump ship before the rp even starts, or once it actually gets posted/in progress?

Yeah in general most don't even send a PM claiming of said interest at all before the rp even has a chance to start. And the ones i don't have starred are ones that just stopped at some point even after i replied to them.

Ok, I'm going to try to give you some help here. I can't promise a miracle, but I want to see if I can pinpoint your problem more directly. If you don't mind me asking questions and investigating your issue, I'd like to offer my services as a sort of case manager for your situation, cause I'm seriously curious about what could be causing this. I don't think it's the interest check thread that's doing this. Is it alright with you if we talk about this further in pm?
 
  • Thank You
Reactions: Rebornfan120
So, let me see if I'm understanding this correctly... You have gotten some interest in your threads, but everybody abruptly disappears on you during the discussion stage in pm? Would you say that most of them jump ship before the rp even starts, or once it actually gets posted/in progress?

Yeah in general most don't even send a PM claiming of said interest at all before the rp even has a chance to start. And the ones i don't have starred are ones that just stopped at some point even after i replied to them.

Ok, I'm going to try to give you some help here. I can't promise a miracle, but I want to see if I can pinpoint your problem more directly. If you don't mind me asking questions and investigating your issue, I'd like to offer my services as a sort of case manager for your situation, cause I'm seriously curious about what could be causing this. I don't think it's the interest check thread that's doing this. Is it alright with you if we talk about this further in pm?

Well that is a surprise to say the least. Well sure we can talk about this in PM. Though I'm neutral leaning on doubting on what we'll find that is the cause.
 
  • Thank You
Reactions: Promedai
Change for you I can say is lucky because I have done this interest check i have for a better part of a year or so
Then maybe it's time for a new interest check. Change it up a bit, add some plots even if they're just half-formed ideas, talk about a character you want to use for something, let people know you're open to their ideas in addition to what you've already listed. You could also add color and pictures, or devise a system to let potential partners know what you're really craving.

I know it can be really frustrating when you don't get the responses you're looking for, especially when you're eager to write, but you shouldn't compare your thread to another and feel down about it because it's not healthy thinking. Roleplaying is a hobby, and hobbies are supposed to be fun. If it stops being fun, then I'd recommend stepping away and reevaluating what you want from collaborative writing and the process in general.

Yeah it i really frustrating knowing i don't get the responses i am looking for or from my own expectations knowing i am really eager to write when i posted it and tweaked it here and there. Hobbies generally are fun and roleplaying has been fun for me but now it's split because of this and from whatever roleplays i do have i want to keep while trying not to scrap for a partner, there has been a point where i didn't post and took a break. Came back with a detailed thread and still there was like no interest staying power wise from those that commented and that had me frustrated because i took an advice and yet it didn't work for me like it did the person.