Closure

[PlayingMonster]

He grinned at her. "Home cooking it is. You can indeed chop some onions." He told her, kissing her forehead gently. "Come on then."

Half an hour later, Alex beckoned Aolin over. "Taste the bolognese sauce, make sure it's how you like it. My mama's recipe. But sometimes you need to alter the herbs to get it just right." As she came over, he wrapped his arms around her from behind, her hair tickling his face as he kissed the top of her head. "It always tastes better when you've helped make it. That's something I've learned from experience." He told her, his mouth by her ear.

 

[PureKor]

Aolin smiled widely at Alex, her feet dragging her body at the kitchen. At a slow peace she started to peal the onions, secondly took a knife.

The smell from the tomato sauce spreading in the apartment, Aolin now slicing the onions with care but precision.

" Oh really? That's good to know.. Still I am surprised that you can cook. You don't look like a chef I must say.. Uhmm
Not in a bad way I say !
You look definitely like a musician."

Now tasting the sauce, slowly to not burn herself. His body was so close to her, it made her heart to skip loudly beats.
Even her face turn reddish quickly.

" It tastes good.. Uhmm.. Ufff
I feel a bit hot. Must be from the sauce .."

Aolin returning her attention at the onions, careful not to cut her fingers of.

Stupid girl.​

 

[PlayingMonster]

He could see her getting flustered and gently put his hands over hers. "We've got enough onions. I don't want you hurting yourself." He told her gently. He scraped them into the sauce, and got the mince from the fridge and threw that into the saucepan as well. He broke some spaghetti in half and put it into the saucepan, covering it with boiling water. "My mom made sure I knew how to cook when I got this apartment. She didn't want me having to live off junk food." He shrugged. He went into the sitting room and put a CD onto the stereo. It started to play, and he walked back into the kitchen. "I would be honoured to have this dance." He said, sweeping into a low bow, before coming back up and grinning at her. He put one hand on her waist, and took her hand. He smiled. A few days ago, he never would have dreamed of this.

 

[PureKor]

Aolin give a smile at his offer, not quite sure what he had in mind but she would gladly fallow.

She bowed before him, grinning all the way and let her right hand to be taken by his. Their bodies came Closer to each other, with the song echoing in his apartment.
Aolin looked at Alex with a happy smile, trying to put her problems at the back of her mind.

Her legs moving slowly at first, while her left hand had been placed on his shoulder. His scent reached her and took a deep breath, before her voice got loud enough for a few lyrics.


" I breathe again just to Feel you..
Underneath my skin, holding onto
The sweet escape is always laced with this familiar taste if Poison.."

Aolin knew the song, a favourite one indeed.
Her lips got closer to his left ear as her low voice sang the lyrics, in a good tune. Herself felt captive by these feelings towards Alex.

" Yes I know the song.. It's beautiful."




​

 

[PlayingMonster]

He smiled as she started to sing. Her lips were just below her ear. She really had a beautiful voice, and she deserved more than the bar she did perform at. As the song finished, her kissed her once again, softly and gently. But his attention was then brought to the saucepan of pasta, which was starting to boil vigorously. "I better see to that." He grinned, pulling away and turning his attention to it. "The cutlery's in that drawer. Will you set the table?" He asked as he pulled down two bowls from the cupboard beside his head.

He knew that he was probably going to sleep as soon as she left. Despite his nap, he still didn't feel that well. Well enough to eat, but nowhere near well enough to handle going out for anything. He had enough food to last him for a few days. No, he'd stay in. He froze for a second as he got a sense of familiarity. After the kidnapping... he'd only left his room for things that were strictly necessary. He remembered the panic attacks that had nearly driven him insane, the ones that came at just the thought of going out. He shook his head slightly and started dishing up. He'd be fine. He wasn't going to be alone. "Do you want to stay here again tonight?" He asked as he brought the dishes over to the table.

 

[PureKor]

Aolin give him a light smile, with his body slowly going away to check the sauce.
For some reason she did felt like home in his apartment.

Her body moved to take out the necessary things for setting the table. Her heart begun once again to skip faster beats.

" we eating all fancy now huh? It's a nice feeling though."

Finally setting the table, Aolin looked at the clock on the wall and sighed deeply at his words. She took a set at the table crossing her hands.

" Yes I have to go at work in almost two hours.. Uhm. I have to go at my apartment to get some clothes and other things. Maybe I'll come and stay here for a few days.. If you're okay with that Alex."

Asking him by fluttering in a girly manner her eyelashes, smiling widely. Her insecurities will soon vanish and perhaps she could actually trust him more.
It was just a matter of time.
​

 

[PlayingMonster]

He put one bowl down in front of her and sat across the table from her. "That's fine by me- it'll be nice to have some company." He grinned at her. "Eat up!"

The conversation never dropped. They talked about stupid things they'd done as kids, stupid things they'd done as adults, just told each other stories. It felt like no time at all before he looked up and swore under his breath. "You better get going. Do you want me to walk in with you?" He asked, picking up the two bowls and dumping them in the sink.

 

[PureKor]

Aolin smiled at his concern, but obviously didn't want for him to think of her not being able to take care of herself.

" No.. It is not necessary. I can walk by myself..
I guess I will see you in the morning.
I'll call you before I leave work, okay ?"

Then, she went in the bedroom and got dressed with her now dry clothes and took her bag as well.
Before leaving, Aolin kissed him on the cheek and thank him for the food.

Soon she left his apartment, going down the streets and walking all happily smiling like an idiot.
Aolin reached the pub in almost half of hour, stepping insides she went straight in the back to get changed.
To her ready for the show.

She simply wished that things will changes someday and actually to get better. To not think about death anymore or to cut herself.
​

 

[PlayingMonster]

He washed everything up, before going and stretching out on the couch yet again. Before he tried to go to sleep, he sent her a text telling her that the spare key was on top of the door frame so she could get in. It wasn't the same without her lying on top of him, but he managed. He found himself drifting back into sleep, allowing his broken body a bit of a rest.

When he woke up, he was in darkness. Sleepily, he stretched out one hand to turn on the lamp beside him. Panic suddenly clutched his chest as it didn't turn on. Forcing himself to try and breathe, he stood up and tried the light on the wall. Nope. The power was gone entirely. He flinched as he thought he saw something move. He pulled his phone from his pocket. Aolin would be performing right about now. There was no point in calling her.

He felt his way back to the couch and sat down, breathing through his mouth in the hope of shifting whatever was sitting on his chest. He was fine. He was safe.

No he wasn't no he wasn't he was going to die he was going to die alone and in the dark and oh my god was that somebody moving had somebody gotten in while he was asleep he was going to die it was going to happen again but this time he was going to die and he was going to die alone and the demons, the demons were getting in

Tears started streaming down his face as he choked for air, rocking back and forth on the couch. He couldn't breathe. He couldn't breathe and he was convinced he was going to die. He pulled out his phone and dialed Aolin's number. It rang out, and he hung up, starting to become hysterical. He couldn't breathe he couldn't breathe she didn't like him she didn't love him she wasn't coming back she was laughing at him and he couldn't fucking breathe

He desperately tried dialing her number again but it rang out. He was going to die he'd be better off dead he should die but not like this because he couldn't breathe he couldn't think he just needed to make it all go away and he wanted his drugs he wanted to be numb he didn't want any of this none

It kept getting harder to breathe until it felt like he was choking. Sobs wracked his chest, making it all the harder. He clutched at his head, just wanting to make all the thoughts stop. He tried calling her again, but it just rang out again. He just wanted to make it all stop, to feel safe-

Safety. Before he knew it, he had almost thrown himself off of the couch and was stumbling into the bathroom. He knew the feel of the bottle like he knew his own hands. He was seeing things in flashes-

He saw the bottle on the shelf-
Felt it in his hand-
Looked down at the bottle as he swallowed-
And then the numbing realisation that he'd swallowed a decent proportion of the bottle. He'd taken far too many this time-

He felt his feet give way and he crashed to the ground. His stomach cramped and he threw up, unable to even move from where he was. He was practically lying in his own vomit but he couldn't move. He threw up again, getting it all over himself. He was still sobbing, but he couldn't move from the floor.

Seconds before he passed out, the lights came back on.

 

[PureKor]

Another excruciating night left her more than exhausted, as she reach to gather her things from the back room.
Aolin checked her phone and saw all the missed calls. Her eyes widen in terror and her heart started to go at a fast speed.

Immediately, she dashed out of the pub taking everything with her and on the way rubbing, kept trying to call Alex.
No answer.
Called again.
Once more, not an answer.

" Shot! Alex, please be okay.. I am on my way! Damn it!..."

Aolin crossed the streets, almost getting it by a car twice as she run, like her life depends on it.
It was a very serious manner.

Her legs begun to feel numb, from the tiredness but could not give up on him. Not now.
Her lungs felt like burning, as the breaths turned into heavy pants.

Aolin finally reaching his apartment building, she went up the stairs, running and stumbling a few times until she reach his door. Her shaking hands moved at the door frame to take out the key.

Opening to door, Aolin threw the bag onto the floor and locked the door from behind.

" Alex! Are you .. Here? Alex!"

Her voice echoing loudly in the apartment, by holding her chest and tried to calm her breathing, she stepped towards the kitchen. Then checked the bedroom.
Last one was the bathroom.

As her steps moved towards the bathroom, a loud scream escaped her lips seeing him on the floor.

She kneeled besides him, turning him over and shook him a few times.
No response.

So, she let the water to run at the sink, soaked the towel with water to wipe his face as she just hold him.
Aolin was beyond scared. Actually petrified.

" Alex!! Look at me.. Please open your eyes!
I am sorry I didn't got here earlier.. It's my fault!
But please OPEN YOUR EYES!"

Squeezing his clothes, Aolin's eyes filled with tears and let then to roll down her face. Just after two minutes, she rushed from the bathroom and go in living room. Quickly as possible, her hand had taken out a small bottle of vodka, going back now to Alex.

Aolin took the towel, pouring on it the half bottle of vodka so it was all soaked in alcohol.

She slowly lifted his head, pulling his body more outside the bathroom with her back supported by the door frame. Both of them laying on the floor.

Aolin used the alcoholic towel to pet his face and kept it for a while covering his nose and mouth, so he can breathe the scent.
Normally this should work.

Aolin prayed that he would wake up. Badly. She couldn't loose him. Not now.

​

 

[PlayingMonster]

When he opened his eyes, somebody was supporting his head. He felt like shit. His stomach still hurt, but not as bad. The smell of alcohol hit him like a brick to the face, and he instinctively recoiled. "Aolin?" He croaked, his voice rough. Of course it was her. Nobody else knew where his key was. He let his head sink into her. "I fucked up. I majorly fucked up." He groaned, wrapping his arms around his abdomen. He could remember everything in techicolour, from the moment the lights flickered out to swallowing the tablets. But they hadn't killed him. Not yet, at least. He wanted to let his eyes close again but knew that he should try and stay awake.

 

[PureKor]

First reaction was seen in her eyes, letting the rolling tears to go down her face when she hugged him.
He was alright..
He was alive.

Aolin kissed his cheek strongly and petted his head, all worried in expression. Her heart wouldn't stop pounding faster.

" Thanks God you are alright!!
I thought. You.. Died ..!
Stupid!

Should I call an ambulance ?"

Aolin asked him, still holding his head at her lap, caressing his hair with her trembling fingers.

" Can I ask what happened..?"



​

 

[PlayingMonster]

He swallowed as she mentioned an ambulance. "No, no, please, don't." The cramps in his stomach had faded a little, just enough left for him to still feel like absolute shit. He didn't move as she hugged him, stroking his hair. "I fell asleep on the couch again. When I woke up, the lights wouldn't come on. I had a panic attack, a really really bad one. I have sleeping pills to take for when I have a bad one, but in my panic I took too many. I think I threw them all up though." He told her, trying desperately to keep his eyes open. He could feel where he'd been lying in his own vomit, but he was too unwell to care. He just wanted a shower and to sleep for about ten years, but he didn't particularly think he would be able to move without her assistance. His body felt weak. He usually felt unwell after a panic attack, but the overdose was ensuring that he felt like death warmed up and let go cold again.

 

[PureKor]

Aolin nodded her head at his words, not knowing for sure what to do. She never met someone before that had panic attacks.
This was a bit strange.

" Well then.. Uhm.
I say for you to have a hot shower now and I'll go in the kitchen to make some tea.
Come on, I'll help you to get up.
No worries.. I am here now, okay?"

She kissed his forehead, smiling at Alex while getting up and helped him to slowly stand up. Her hand hold onto his forearm as now he supported himself by the door.

" Can you stand up.. Or do you need help in the shower?
I promise I won't look. I'll just help you if you need to with my hands only.."

A small giggle escaped her lips and her cheeks then into a bright red. Again her heart pounding louder and stronger than before.

Damn you feelings.

​

 

[PlayingMonster]

He pulled himself up rather ungracefully, clutching onto her arm and using the wall for support. His legs felt weak, but were somehow supporting his weight. He shook his head and grinned as she asked if he needed help. "No, I think I'll manage. Just get me some clothes. They're in the third drawer." He told her softly, leaning against the door. When she left, he undressed, leaning against the walls, and got into the shower. He turned the water on full and simply leaned against the wall, letting it run down his body. The cramps worsened suddenly, and he bent over, emptying what was left in his stomach down the drain. There couldn't be any pills left in his system now. He straightened up, grimacing at the taste. He let the water wash over his head and through his hair.

Once his hair was clean, he felt a tad better, and shut off the water. He pulled on the clothes that Aolin had left for him and looked in the mirror. His eyes looked almost dull, and he was as white as the tiles around him. He dried off his hair with a towel and dragged his sorry body into the sitting room, sinking onto the couch and swinging his feet up onto it beside him. He wanted to go to sleep, but not alone. Not unless Aolin was there beside him. He needed to know that he would be safe if he woke up in the middle of the night.

 

[PureKor]

In the meantime, Aolin made some tea in the kitchen while waiting for him to come out.

Her body nearly drifted to sleep on the chair, just as his figure appeared and flopped onto the sofa. Aolin moved her tired body to take the tea cups and let them down the Woden table, close to the sofa.

She sat down next to him, rubbing her eyes, after taking of the make up and looked at him for a moment.

" How.. Are you feeling now?
I make some cinnamon tea and added some honey to.
You know I feel a bit tired .."

That was all she managed to say to Alex before basically, her body fell on top of his legs due the exhaustion from the past few days.
Her body got beyond the tired level and could not keep up much. Also, her body was rather hot and sweaty, small water drops rolling down her forehead.

​

 

[PlayingMonster]

He took the tea and took a sip. It was exactly what he wanted, actually. She started talking, but then passed out. He frowned, but she looked exhausted. He arranged himself around her and finished his tea, before falling asleep. He was almost a little afraid to, but at least he knew that the pills were out of his system. His eyes drifted closed.

He woke up still on the couch. His stomach was still sore, but now it felt hollow. It was probably hunger- the little that had been in his stomach was now somewhere in the sewers. He stretched and felt his muscles ache. He didn't know if it was from sleeping around Aolin or from the overdose, but he needed to stretch properly. He carefully slid his legs from under Aolin and stood up. At first, his legs didn't support him, and he hit the ground. But she had slept through it, and he managed to stand up again. He silently went into the bedroom and found the box of anxiety pills. He remembered the panic attack and how he had almost killed himself because of it. He sighed and popped out one of the pills, swallowing it dry. Back to being an addict. He slid it into the drawer by his bed so Aolin wouldn't find them.

His legs were shaking as he went back in, stretching. Aolin still appeared to be passed out on the couch. He knew she'd worry if he wasn't there when she woke up, so he sat down and pulled her head into his lap. He didn't fall back asleep, but dozed a little as he played with her hair. The calmness that the anxiety pills brought washed through him like a tidal wave.

And he hated it.

 

[PureKor]

Aolin was asleep for a few hours. Resting her body closer to Alex and it did felt good at the time.

Slowly, fluttering her eyelashes open, her phone was buzzing loudly and strongly on the table. Her head was already throbbing with a terrible pain, as her hand took her phone and saw the missed calls. Her body stiffen seeing the time on the screen and the few text messages.

Aolin turn to look around and it seem Alex was kind of asleep, so she kissed his cheek and quickly moved to get her shoes. Aolin took her bag with everything else, before writing a message in a napkin.

" I had to go at work.. I am sorry I left so quick.
I will see you in a few hours.
Aolin."


Then she Left his apartment rushing outside, going down the streets. Her legs got tired but that didn't stop her, even her lungs had a burning sensation with the cold air breathed in.

After a while, finally she reach the pub and stepped inside stumbling almost, passing the crowd to go at the office.
Already inside now, Aolin catch her breath as her eyes darted at her boss.


The old man's expression was something between anger and lust in the same time. He simply moved towards Aolin and grabbed her hand, pushing her against the wall. His left hand gripped tight her wrists above her head while his free hand was stroking her skin just under the sweater.

" you know what HAPPENES when you are late.. I like you a lot Aolin, but I can't afford to lose the business because of some dumb boy you just met..
I will make you understand once and for all that You Belong to me."

Her unspoken words got cut off when his rough lips pressed at her and even bitting her Lower lip so hard that it begun to bleed a little. Her body was shifting and trying to move away but he had a strong body, even at his Age.
Then his hand got a full touch of her feminine upsides squeezing it right almost painful for her.

Aolin winced badly, as small tears rolled down her face, now able to shout when his mouth moved from her lips.

" Let me Go!! You have no right to do this to me.! I'll call the police.. I swear I will!
Let me go !"

The man grinned at her gripping her skin under his hand one last time, before letting her go as he walked to open the office door.

Aolin took the chance to dash out from there covering her face from the people, walking at her tiny room behind the bar to get ready.
Rage and disgust filled her mind, trying to add the make up and be ready for the show.
She did noticed that already a bruise appeared at her lower lip from his teeth and her wrists hurt like hell.


That night Aolin kept singing her soul out, trying to hold on to the memories of her and Alex which came in her mind.
Everything else was like a sharp blade stabbing her and making her bleed from the inside.

She just wanted a normal life..​

 

[PlayingMonster]

He opened his eyes and found her missing from the couch. Before he could panic, he saw the note, telling him she had to go into work. He looked at the clock and grimaced. They'd slept for almost a solid day. She had obviously been more exhausted than she had been letting on. Taking his anxiety pills earlier meant that he wasn't still in total withdrawal, but he knew what he needed before he could really feel better. And he hated it.

He stood up, putting his hand on the couch to steady himself. He went and cleaned up the bathroom, throwing his dirty clothes into the washing machine. Once he was cleaned up, he found the bottle of pills and stared at them. He shook one into his hand and swallowed it. She thought he was sick anyway. He'd find a way to cover up why he was sleeping so much. That, and he'd take them while she was at work.

He was glad that he didn't have to work during term time. During the summer, he worked as a waiter and bartender in a country club. It paid extremely well, and he got to keep all the tips he earned. It was enough to keep him going during the term, combined with the savings fund his parents had started when he was born to fund his college education. It had covered his tuition and he still had a little left over to pay for his living costs.

But right now he was even glad that he had a week off college. It would give him a chance to get his head straight and recover a bit before heading back into the world of lectures and assignments.

When he woke up again, she still wasn't back. He didn't particularly feel like cooking, so he called for a pizza. While he waited for it, he pulled out his laptop and hooked himself up to his equipment in the bedroom. He had work to be doing, even if he didn't have lectures for another week. He almost missed the knock at the door for the pizza, but he stood up and took the boxes. He left them on the table and went back into his room. The music performance majors and the music production majors worked closely, the production majors mixing samples that the performance majors supplied them with. In return, it wasn't uncommon for the production majors to help them make a demo CD or mix songs to be put online.

 

[PureKor]

After the night's show, it had left Aolin more than exhausted bit even more than that, anger and frustration and pain swirled inside of her. So she decided to go quickly from the pub, covering her head with the boyish hat and rushed out, running towards her apartment.

She didn't think in that moment why she would go back there. All she knew inside her mind was the feeling of the metal pushing against her skin.

Her steps were quick running upstairs, reaching her apartment and with shaking hands she unlocked the door. Then she saw the warrant as well.
Cursing bay under her breath, locked he door behind her and dropped her stuff by the door.

Her body went straight in the bathroom, opened a small cabinet as some bottles fell to the floor before she found her tool.

Aolin took a deep breath, letting her fingers to touch the shiny metal and she stepped outside to sit on the floor in her messy living room.

Her mind was not straight in that moment, so taking off her coat, Aolin ripped of her bracelets as they echoed in the room scattered all over the floor.
Warm tears falling down her face, sobbing and breathing heavily, used her left hand to hold the sharp blade.
Then it happened.

The first cut was slow but precise across her wrist, then another deeper line made it's mark upper on her arm.
She did that several times, her vision blurred now from the tears. The pain was still there.

And so she continued to cut herself as deeply as possible at both of her hands, letting now the metal to be thrown across the room in an angry manner.

" why I don't feel anything anymore? Why is this happening to me? WHY?!"

Aolin shouted loudly feeling her lungs burning, and light headed already from the cuts at her arms.
Also she ignored her ringing phone at that time.

Then, crawling to one side she reach the window and grabbed re metal blade to scribbled across her arm once again.. Before everything turned pitch black and she lost contact with reality.


​