I would challenge the logic that people need so much handling.
This isn't a restaurant; there isn't a limited number of seats, we don't need cooks to make content for us, we don't need waitresses to direct us around. This is more like a picnic ground- we might need one or two security guards to break up fights, but generally people should be bringing their own food, and cleaning up after themselves.
This isn't a school where we need teachers and faculty running things, this is an open message board where all we need is a giant wall upon which to staple our writings.
And that should also explain exactly why limited access to this place is such a bad idea.