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"Now, hopefully you can see the wood for what it really is" he swept his arm out to gesture the view from the highest tree around. The woods stretched out for nearly a mile back to the school, and farther in every other direction. The distant light of the town's main street could be seen almost like a second sunset to the south. Throughout the forest, fireflies blinked themselves into and out of existence, making the treetops look as if they were decorated with twinkling christmas lights. Below them, a mother deer and its two fawns slowly paced through a small clearing on the other side of the tree they sat in. The fawns' spots were plainly visible in the natural light of the moon.

Riley looked up to see the moon at its fullest, seemingly so close he could reach out and touch it. The stars stretched out above his head, reminding him of the vastness of space and his own tiny place in its expanse. Riley always felt calm when he could escape civilization for a while, especially at night.

He looked to Aspen on his right, hoping she enjoyed what she saw and hopefully felt less threatened by the forest when seeing it from high up. He for some reason had a vested interest in seeing her smile. Even wanting to put his arm around her and pull her to lean against him, but he felt that would be too forward.
 
Aspen smiled widely. She looked around them, at the beautiful horizon of the town, at the fawns on the forest floor, at the fireflies, at the dark trees, and most of all, at the boy sitting beside her on the branch. She smelled the clean air, the scent of Riley's hair, the musty pine needles on the ground.

Aspen smiled, even wider. She said nothing, but leaned her forehead on Riley's shoulder and squeezed his hand. "Thank you so much," she whispered, hoping he caught the meaning behind those words. Not just for bringing her out here and showing her the night; for helping her overcome her fear of the woods, and for being the only person she could act like herself around.

"Thank you, Riley."
 
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Riley felt warm despite the cold. He was glad Aspen seemed to be relaxed and no longer afraid. He hoped she shared that feeling in regards to himself.

"Aspen, I'm not very good at being sociable, or even really talking to people," Riley softly whispered, "so I don't really know how to say any of this eloquently. But I feel like I have to try. And that's one of the things I mean, I feel things when the two of us interact. I want you to feel happy and I care more than I like to admit about making that happen."

Riley sighed, he hoped he was making sense. How do you explain to someone that you feel nothing almost all of the time? Riley moved to the left, creating space between them.

"I am not a healthy person, mentally I mean. I see things that shouldn't be seen and I think of things that shouldn't make a person smile. I am a currently being treated by a psychologist as a sociopath. Meaning I feel no empathy for anyone. I barely comprehend what that word means, its just a term they use to me."

"Aspen," her name seemed to echo in leaves around him, "I don't know what it is or why it happens, but, to me, it seems like you wiped the visions from my mind. I feel warmth, fear, worry, concern when I interact with you." He looked down at the family of deer, and thought briefly about what his life would like from above.
 
Aspen listened attentively as Riley explained. She let out a tiny, barely audible gasp when he said the word 'sociopath'. She knew exactly what it meant, of course. She just couldn't understand how someone who had taken her into the woods, someone who had helped her conquer her shattering fear and who she felt truly comfortable and safe with, could possibly have been classed as a sociopath.

Aspen gripped his hand as she spoke. "Riley ... you can't be a sociopath. How could you -- you obviously have enough feeling to bring me here and literally help me get over this phobia. I wouldn't have even been able to step into the woods, let alone sit in a tree in the centre. Riley, I take almost everything my mother says as gospel, but if she tries to tell you that you're crazy, or that you're not good for me, don't listen, because it's not true. I feel completely and utterly safe with you. I can be myself around you. I can quote fucking Nietzsche and Kurt Cobain with you -- I can't do that with anyone else, not even my brother. I don't have to put on this fake persona around you, because I can actually act like myself."

Aspen looked into his eyes.
 
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Riley pushed his hair back out of his face, he pulled his hand away and looked into Aspen's eyes.

"Aspen, what do you want? From this? From me?"
 
"I want ... I want to be able to be around someone and not feel this compressing loneliness, to feel like I'm not the only one in a group of people who have more than five functioning brain cells. I want to be able to actually have a decent, intellectual conversation with someone that's not a teacher or my mother. I want to go home and not feel like smashing my head into a wall because I've been acting like Bronwyn and Violet all day. I want to actually be able to wear my glasses at school without being called a geek." She paused. "Mostly, I want to be something to you. I want to be around you, because you're the only person I feel like Aspen with. I would give up Bronwyn and Violet and Brooks and popularity and absolutely everything else, if it meant I could be with you instead."
 
Riley slowly reached out his hand, brushing the back of his fingers across Aspen's cheek. He sighed, "You might be the only person that does mean something."
 
Aspen didn't kiss him, though she really wanted to. Instead, she wrapped her arms around his waist and pressed her face into his jacket. She savoured the moment, the moment of peace and tranquility.

"Thank you," she murmured. "Thank you for finally allowing me to be myself."
 
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Riley, stunned by Aspen pressing herself into to him, worried about whether or not Aspen understood what he was trying to say. He had hoped that revealing his sociopathy would, rightly so, scare her. He didn't want to put her in a position to get hurt, and it might not just be emotional pain. The frequency of Riley's visions was increasing. not to mention the dreams. Riley felt like his sanity was rotting away and he didn't want Aspen to become attached to a...thing that might not be around for much longer.

Still she was right, why did he feel these things, worry, protectiveness, compassion. He was a diagnosed sociopath. Was it possible to be selective about those type of things? How can he want to protect and preserve and make this one life better but not care at all about so many others?

In his mind there was nothing but confusion and violence. It seemed so contradictory to the sweet, intelligent, beautiful girl sitting beside him, leaning into his chest. HE seemed contradictory to her.
 
She searched around for words, wondering what the right thing to say was. She kept her forehead on his chest as she spoke, closing her eyes, tightening her arms and inhaling his clean scent.

"You probably think you're dangerous, that you're deadly. You probably think you're going to hurt me. You think my mom is right, that you're a sociopath. And I think you've been incorrectly diagnosed. If you were going to hurt me you would have already done it. We wouldn't be sitting in this tree, having this conversation. I would have let you go. Riley, if you were actually as dangerous as you seem to think you are, my mom would have sent you away."
 
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Riley slowly put an arm around her. He was thinking about the possibility that Aspen is correct, that he had been misdiagnosed. He certainly felt things for her right now. But he worried that maybe it was lust disguising itself. She was certainly physically attractive. Even now he wanted to place his fingers under her chin, tilt her head up, and kiss her...

But he couldn't allow that. Not yet. He needed to be sure what this was. What it was he was feeling and what this relationship was.

Riley gently pushed Aspen upright and off of his chest. His hand lingering on her shoulder as he said, " You should talk to your mother about me. Ask her about what she sees. I don't feel in control of myself therefore I don't trust myself being close to you. I can't deny that I feel emotionally drawn to you, Aspen. But I don't know why and I don't know what it means."
 
Aspen, feeling a little disappointed when he pushed her off him, listened and nodded. "I'll try to talk to her tonight, but keep in mind, the doctor-patient confidentiality law might prevent her from saying anything worthwhile to me."

Aspen folded her hands in her lap, keeping her eyes on him. "I feel drawn to you, too. Just please promise me that we can spend time together after this. At school, even."
 
Riley reached out slowly and lightly touched her hands with his fingers, "You have my word." He wanted to pull her back, hold her against his chest and look into her smiling face. He closed his hand around hers, tentatively. "What do you feel regarding this...thing, this relationship? What do you want out of it?" Riley wasn't sure what he himself wanted. Hell he wasn't used to really feeling much of anything at all. He hoped that Aspen, who seemed to be accustomed to emotions and had control over her own, would be able to provide some insight.
 
"What do I want ... "

She wanted to be close to him, to be able to convince him he wasn't a monster. She wanted to hold him close and have he power to keep him there happily. She wanted to walk into the school hand-in-hand with him and not care what anyone thought. She wanted to be able to be around him and laugh, to have a healthy relationship with him. She wanted to say all this.

"I just want you."
 
All Riley could think to say was "Why?"

He was incredulous that someone, anyone would want to be close to him. He didn't see what was appealing about questioning one's sanity. He was sure that if Aspen were lonely, all she would have to do is say it out loud once and dozens of his male classmates would line up single file for the interview process. Why him? Why was Riley the only one who she felt like herself around? If her friends can't. then why does she not find new friends? Again, it wouldn't be hard for her.

He simply did not understand why she wanted him. If she could see inside my head, the blood and the bone and the dark. And how I smile into it, how I want it... Then she would run away screaming
 
"Because -- you're probably getting sick of hearing this, but in this entire town you're the only person anywhere close to my age that I can be myself around. Not even my brother can talk to me properly. And sure, there's nerds in the school and stuff, but they don't get me, either. They want to talk about Edison, I want to talk about Nietzsche. I don't want to talk about physics, I want to talk about psych and philosophy. And, the other reason -- you don't expect anything from me. Brooks and Bronwyn expect me to be dumb and pretty. Nerds who know I'm not like Bronwyn expect me to look like them and love Star Wars. Hipsters expect me to quote Perks, which I love but I don't want to quote all the time. My teachers expect me to be genius, and my mom expects me to be her. You're the only one who doesn't expect me to be anything, or to act in a specific way. Everyone wants their own Aspen. You don't."
 
Riley looked at her for a long time, trying to see some deeper meaning in her eyes. Like sparkling blue-black holes they sucked him into her. He gently touched his hand to her cheek, holding her face in his hands. He really wanted to kiss her but he knew it was too early in whatever relationship this turned out to be.

Eventually he swallowed and spoke softly, "I want you too."
 
Aspen smiled widely and hugged him close, resting her chin on his shoulder. "That's all I needed to hear," she whispered happily.

She checked the time on her phone. "It's eight, my mom will be getting worried."
 
Riley climbed down, then when Aspen was down he held out his hand. "What does this mean for us tomorrow? The next day?"
 
Aspen took his hand, smiling. "Well, tomorrow is Saturday, meaning I have to go to my brother's stupid football game, and Sunday is family board game day." She rolled her eyes. "So I can't see you on the weekend. But Monday, I swear, I'll come to school as Aspen. The real me. And I'll be all yours."
 
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