Classical Insanity

[alint]

Matt was dressed in casual clothing. A simple shirt with slacks and comfortable shoes. In his one hand was a suit that he'd change into once he got to the venue. He didn't have a good pair of shoes to wear, but no one would be looking at his feet...he hoped. With his head held high, and his cello on his back, Matt left his small apartment in the attic. He played with his cuffs for a second before strolling out into the morning.

This was a rather big deal for him not only was it opening night, but this would be the first time that he would attend the after party. Walking with a rather brisk pace, Matt got to his destination after a good hour. It was a very large opera house that could fit over 3800 people. The moment he walked through the door something amazing happened. The excitement of the atmosphere and the sheer size made Matt smile with pride. He was so excited about the concert. He changed and got set up for the concert. His music and stand were . Matt was really excited because this was his first time as a soloist. He was playing Schoenberg's Verklart Nact. It was a strange piece initially, but it was challenging and entertaining.

Matt watched as others prepared their area for the concert. He still had about a half hour to kill, but already people were starting to trickle in. They were dressed in their fancy clothes with rather expensive looking...everything. Matt looked down at his own garb and realized that he was really showing his impoverished circumstances. Sighing heavily to himself, Matt looked around to see the others getting everything ready for the performance. In the back of the room, he noticed the conductor--Dante Voltolini. Matt never met the guy personally, but he knew him from the rehearsals. Not only was he strict, but one hell of a perfectionist. Not too many people liked him as a person, but as a conductor he was superior. Matt thought for a second and wondered if maybe they'd meet during the after party. Shrugging off the idea, Matt relaxed for a bit before he had to go.

With cello in hand, Matt took his seat and began to play and tune his instrument with the rest of the orchestra. Immediately, the hall filled with sound which signaled for everyone to take their seats and shut their mouths. Matt was excited and practically bouncing. This happened every time he had a performance. It was somewhat of a habit. The room grew quiet as the concertmaster took the stage and formally tuned the orchestra and finally the conductor. With his jitters at their peak, Matt watched as Dante counted them off.

 

[King]

The true work of art is but a shadow of the divine perfection.
- Michelangelo


The orchestra filed in silently. The concert hall was big enough to make Dante's heart beat faster and his hands shake a little. He wiped his forehead again with his handkerchief as he waited for the men to get onto stage. They set up quietly, attempting to make sure their instruments were in tune before Dante tuned them. Of course, he expected nothing but perfectness from his orchestra, but tonight was important. All concerts were.

Nobody spoke to him, or even smiled his way as they shuffled on stage. He didn't blame them really, he wasn't all that nice. Dante was strict and a perfectionist, disobeying his need for flawless music resulted in some very harsh comments from him. Dante licked his dry lips once more before tucking away the cloth. He picked up his music sheets and baton before making it onto the stage. The audience hushed and the instruments quietened, like Dante was a source of silence before the storm. Tonight, they were playing various pieces and finally, one of his own.

It was Dante's dream to have 'Voltolini's Waltz no.2' printed in musical academies everywhere, his name in every musical textbook. But the dream was far off, Dante wasn't even close to masters like Mozart or Bach. Once the orchestra was tuned, Dante waved his baton, and began the pieces.

One by one, the crowd got louder and Dante got more intense. He had passion in his eyes as he conducted his own piece. It was intense, dark and difficult. But he conducted with precision, his forehead wet with sweat. His neatly combed back hair slowly unraveled as he swung his arms in time. The orchestra played along, keeping up as well as they could.

It was good. Good. The crowd got to their feet and clapped. The sudden burst of noise after the silence made Dante snap out of the state. His hands were shaking but he turned to the crowd and bowed, before signalling for his orchestra to do the same. Not perfect. He already felt sorely dissatisfied as he walked off the stage in a rush. The pain of imperfection was a heavy knot in his stomach. Next time, he'd have to do better.

- - - - - - - - -

The man on the piano kept making mistakes. Dante could hear the player hit the wrong keys and it was picking at him. He managed to stand in the party crowd, a drink in his hand and a smile on his face. People were praising him. Dante couldn't stand people telling him his music was good because it was simply that. He wanted it right or nothing.

"Would you excuse me, ma'am?" Dante asked, his voice a smooth, low tone. The piano piece being played was irritating him so much, he had to leave the room. He left the large hall for the corridors. As he walked down, he saw another man, standing in the hallway. Dante only noticed him when he went for the doorstep to another room, sitting down on it. He placed the glass next to his feet and put his head in his hands, counting to ten under his breath. "Please excuse me, I'm not having a good night." He stared at the ground, hoping the other man wouldn't be odded out.​

 

[alint]

The concert was not perfect...far from perfect, but Matt found that was the case for most orchestras. Despite the mistakes and the incorrect rhythms and notes, Matt enjoyed the performance. The main reason he played was for his enjoyment. Not only did he enjoy that performance, but he lost himself in it. By the end, Matt was sweating from the intensity. It brought a huge smile on his face. Matt sighed heavily as he moved off stage to put his instrument back in it's case. The other musicians seemed to talk more and dawdle less. Matt lingered by his instrument for a moment, but quickly closed the case and placed it in his cubicle for the time being.
-----------
Matt tried being social. After a while it got old. Not only did he feel out of place, but he felt uncomfortable. Most of these people were upper-middle class from respectable households and pedigrees. This wasn't the case for Matt. He didn't dislike this people, rather he couldn't relate. The difficulty was their opposing beliefs mainly. Matt didn't care that much as he disappeared from the main hall. In the fresh air, Matt smiled and looked up at the moon. It was full tonight and rather nice to look at. He had a glass of wine in one hand as he sat alone in the night.

Something happened that surprised even Matt...the conductor came out to sit with him. He wondered what Dante was doing out there. Maybe the perfectionist was escaping the imperfections of society for the imperfections of nature. Matt didn't really know the guy, but he didn't mind having company. When Dante spoke of his day, Matt just smiled at the conductor. "Take a seat," Matt instructed moving over slightly, "no one's judging you here." Matt didn't bother to look at the guy for long. Staring was something that made him uncomfortable, so he wouldn't subject someone else to it. Matt took another sip of his wine as he stated, "so what's troubling you?" He felt as if he turned into a shrink of some sort. Although these feelings were somewhat trivial, they mattered to Matt. They made him feel somewhat self-conscious. But he already spoke, so there was no point in recanting the statement. Besides, he didn't mind having a conversation with someone--it just happened to be the conductor.

 

[King]

The quiet was peaceful. It was like air for Dante to breath after being held underwater. That's what he felt like a lot, except getting the air was a lot harder. As he sat, Dante breathed out the air and sighed, glad to be able to relax slightly. The man who came to sit with him didn't seem to mind it. Dante rested his elbows on his knees and rubbed his eyes in frustration. Today was not going his way one bit. Dante just wanted to get home and into his bed for a long sleep. If only he could do so. "Thank you, sir."

"Tis just a long day." Dante looked up to the friendly fellow, who seemed to not be taken back by the composers ways. "Excuse my rudeness, sir, but do I know you?" Dante turned to the man, an inquisitive look on his face. The man seemed familiar, his face did. Yet, Dante didn't have a name or even an idea from where he did know him from. Or did he know him at all? Dante huffed and looked forward again, not wanting to stare. He rested his hands on his own knees as he stared forward, at nothing in particular. He hoped nobody walked past to see him sitting near the floor like a tramp. That would ruin his well needed reputation.​

 

[alint]

Matt looked at the conductor with a soft smile as he replied, "I'd say you should. Mattithyahu Harel, first chair cello." Matt wasn't sure what to make of the guy. He was obviously not well. The circles under his eyes confirmed that much. Understanding that the guy was stressed, Matt moved closer somewhat and asked, "Are you alright?" He wondered if the conductor had too much to drink. "If you want, we can go some place else. Parties aren't my thing either," Matt wasn't sure what to say to the guy. Maybe the conductor should just go home. "Do you live close by?" Matt inquired. The closer he looked at the guy the more he worried. Matt knew that the guy was 'unstable' to say the least. He also knew that some people didn't benefit from the party scene.

Looking into his glass, Matt wondered if he too should call it quits for the night. He wasn't having much fun at the party either. He didn't even have to carry his cello home since he was coming back tomorrow to clean out the cubbie. All Matt had to do was find a cheap motel to stay the night. He couldn't walk home with the amount of alcohol in his system. Matt knew this would happen and had the money for a room in his pocket. The more he looked at his drink the more he wanted to dump the rest of it and head out. Looking at the conductor, Matt stood as he stated, "Actually, I think I'll take my leave now. A gentleman knows when to bow out. Get home safely." With that Matt turned to leave. He hesitated a second to see if Dante had anything to say before he left.

 

[King]

"Ah." Dante offered a weak smile, matching the name with the face. With honesty, Dante didn't know many people in his orchestra. Dante didn't really know, people. He lived alone and did many things by himself. He often avoided the company of men, in fear of his sexuality becoming obvious or even worse, acting on it. That would give everybody the evidence they needed to confirm he was 'crazy'.

Dante smiled, parties definitely weren't his thing either. As Matt stood up, Dante did too, out of manners. "In fact I do. My home is into the city, near the cathedral." He wished to live in a manor house like this, but he certainly wasn't close to having that sort of money. Composition was not a solid source of income, and he wasn't close to getting what he needed. As Matt turned to leave, Dante suddenly felt like walking home alone would be a bad idea, he'd probably get lost. And he certainly didn't want to stay at the party just to get a lift home. "Actually-" Dante had his hands behind his back, walking over to stand next to the man, "Which way would you be walking, we may share paths.." Dante looked at the man closer, intrigued by his strong facial features. He had to look away again, fearing he'd send off the wrong vibes.​

 

[alint]

Matt thought for a second and made a route to his house that passed the cathedral. "It appears that we are headed in the same direction. Would you like to accompany me?" Matt smiled to the young conductor as he waited to see the man's response. Something about the conductor seemed a bit off, but then again most musicians had their quirks. Matt was originally a 'circus freak' before a musician. He was one of the last people to judge anyone. Hoping that Dante wasn't intimidated by him, Matt looked up at the sky. It was a nice night--perfect for a stroll home.

As Matt looked at Dante, he wondered if the alcohol was having any affects. For a split second, Matt felt a strong attraction for the man. It made him blush slightly...It's the alcohol, Matt thought silently to himself as he turned away and looked up. "It's a beautiful night isn't it?" Matt added as he took in a deep breath.

 

[King]

"Indeed." Dante smiled pleasently, happy to have company to walk home with. The wine was making his head a little fuzzy, but he walked with his hands behind his back as they went together. "Quite." Dante looked up to the sky. The stars twinkled and he could see the moons crescent. He smiled a little, the night sky always gave him inspiration for a mellow piece. It was nice to write something that wasn't inspired by anger, power and lust. Most pieces were loud and aggressive, but Voltolini was able to create soft pieces, occasionally.

As they made their way down the road, Dante looked at the man he was sharing a journey with. An attractive face, he thought. He kept his eyes forward quickly, forcing himself to concentrate, "How are you finding the orchestra? I don't believe you have been here for a long period of time. Am I correct?" Dante asked. If he remembered, he had been writing pieces of music for four cellos, rather than three. During conducting, Dante would zone out and trying to remember details of what happens during that time escape him. So, he did not want to comment on how well the cellos were actually doing, because he couldn't even remember specifically.​

 

[alint]

"I like it," Matt replied as he smiled to the conductor. "The people are nice and the music is challenging," he continued as he stared up at the sky. "I love the night. It's a mysterious time that always seems to calm my soul. What about you?" Matt glanced down at the conductor and thought to himself he's attractive. But the thought dissipated as he remembered who the conductor was. Although Matt didn't know Dante well, he knew that the man was married to his work. They continued to walk together until they reached the cathedral. "You live near here, don't you?" There was a slight sadness at the idea of them parting, but Matt realized that it was the alcohol. His face blushed slightly and he wasn't sure if it was the alcohol or his attraction to the man.

Matt wavered a bit as he felt unsteady on his feet. "I'm alright," he stated as he held his head slightly. "Oh, there's something I wanted to tell you if I ever got the chance...There's a part in your piece that I think should be all down bowed. I don't know where," he started as he wondered what he rambled a bit. The alcohol got to him a bit as he moved closer to the composer. "You're handsome," Matt stated as he looked deeply into Dante's eyes.

 

[King]

"The night?" Dante repeated before turning to the man, his eyes weary, "She is a mysterious creature." He smiled as he looked up to the sky, the black rich with white stars. "A beautiful one." Dante sighed, walking with his hands behind his back. He tended to get a little poetic after having drink. It helped with his composition, but rarely with his speech. They drew closer to the Cathedral as they went into the city, the building looming over the rest. "I do indeed, just behind here." He pointed.

Matt wavered on his feet and Dante was quick to stick his arm out, "Watch yourself." He chuckled a little, not wanting to have to rush a drunk, injured man back. Although company tonight would be nice... "Hm? You'd have to point it out." Dante gritted his teeth a little as he straightened up, standing with hands behind his back. When people told him what to do with his music, it really irritated him. It always made him panic and trash the piece if people didn't like it. It was perfect, or nothing.

The compliment suddenly caught Dante off guard, "I- Well..." His insides wobbled as an attractive man complimented him. This was what he secretly wanted. "Thank you..." he looked to the floor. He couldn't do this. If anybody heard... But the drink told him, what the heck! "And I must return that compliment young man." Dante smiled, bowing his head a little as he complimented him back.​

 

[alint]

Matt looked up to the sky before laughing heartily. "Your music is amazing! I'm so happy I am able to play it," Matt commented as he looked at the houses. "Which one's yours?" he asked innocently. His mind was a bit hazy as he looked deep into Dante's eyes. They were practically begging for Matt. Leaning over Dante, Matt asked seriously, "Can I spend the night?" The drink was making Matt forget the consequences of his actions. Instead, Matt was acting on impulse and his impulse was telling him that he wanted Dante. Realizing that his words were rather menacing, Matt moved away. He bowed his head and said in a softer voice, "I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me. Please, forget this ever happened." As he turned to leave, Matt felt the alcohol rush to his brain causing him to reach for the nearest building for support.

Breathing heavily, Matt leaned against the exposed brick until he felt that he could move on his own. He never really drank so when he did it really hit him. It took him a while, but Matt steadied himself and started to walk away. He was thankful that no one was on the streets at this hour. He'd hate for people to think he was a drunk because he wasn't.

 

[King]

"Now all I need is for the academies to agree." Dante smiled, looking tired. If only everybody agreed his music was amazing. When Matt changed the subject, Dante looked in the direction he was. "Ah, Number 8." He pointed at a door identical to the rest of the doors. The terrace street had houses crammed together, Dante was lucky to be living alone. In that sense.

"Oh, I.." Dante looked over to the man. All of his senses were craving the company of another man. It had been so long. Matt seemed to be so inviting aswell. Should he? Before he could say yes, Matt was excusing himself and stumbling off. Dante knew it was for the best, but he went against everything his brain was telling him. "No, please my friend. I'd love to have your company." Dante wanted the man he barely knew. Nobody would find out if they both kept quiet. So what was the harm?

Before Matt could wander off too far, Dante strided over and put his arm around the mans shoulder, "I couldn't send you wandering home in this state..." Dante's hand gripped the muscle of the other man. He was too intoxicated by the drink and presence of another man to back out now. Instead Dante lead the younger male over to his home, looking around anxiously. As they reached the door, Dante pushed it open and closed it behind him. The home was cluttered in papers and candles. He decided to let only the street lamp illuminate the home. That way he'd feel less guilty of what was to come. He looked out the window once more, his hands gripping onto the younger mans arms. ​

 

[alint]

As Matt wandered down the street, he felt Dante call back to him. He turned only to find Dante grabbing his arm. Matt wondered what Dante was doing as his grip tightened. Was Dante angry or something? Did he do something wrong? Is he secretly a murderer? All these thoughts ran through his mind and more as Dante pulled him along.

Matt was unsure of what was happening as he was led into Dante's home. Looking around still dazed, Matt commented, "It's a bit messy." He didn't mean it in a mean way, but rather an observation. As Matt felt Dante pull him closer, Matt wondered what was going on. Matt felt his eyes lock onto Dante's in the dim light. There was a certain glint in them...one Matt knew well. "Are you sure?" Matt asked hesitantly.

Although Matt too wanted something from Dante, the fear was always nipping at their heels. Despite his better judgement, Matt gazed into Dante's eyes and stated, "No regrets." With that statement, Matt pulled Dante in for a kiss. At first it was a soft, gentle kiss, but soon enough it transformed into a lover's kiss. Their tongues intertwined and their temperatures rose.

[[do you want to be top or bottom?]]

 

[King]

This was so wrong. Dante could already feel his alarm bells being repressed by his own lust for another man. He had fantasied about feeling the masculine skin against his, the low voice and the thick hair... Everything Dante secretly dreamed of was coming true.

And Matt must of felt the same way. When questioned, Dante just nodded, hesitance in his eyes as he stepped closer. "No regrets..." Dante whispered back at Matt before his lips were met with Matts. All hesitance and nervousness was taken over by the excitement and relief at the kiss. His hands moved to grip at the suited biceps of Matt, holding on tightly. He relaxed into the kiss, tilting his head as he closed his eyes.

Dante pulled away for a second, looking away. "We must not be seen. Would you... Would you like to move this to my bedroom?" Dante asked in a whisper, his eyes looking at the highlights of Matts face. With that, he slowly slinked away from the door and over to his stairs, avoiding the piles of sheet music at the sides. He was too excited to worry about the consequences. Right now, the stranger Matt was the only thing he could think of.

((I think Dante better fits bottom - We can write out one or two more scenes then we can fade to black? c: ))​​

 

[alint]

Matt nodded as he moved into the bedroom. The minute the door closed, he began to strip Dante. By now Matt was ready for what was to come and expected that Dante was as well. From what he could tell, the two hadn't had sex in a while and this was something that they both needed. Matt was quick to reach inside Dante's pants. He continued to kiss the man as he pushed Dante onto the bed. Once intertwined, Matt released Dante from the kiss and said somewhat exhausted, "You're beautiful."

[[fade to black]]

Matt woke up in Dante's bed with not clothes on. His head was throbbing slightly as he tried to remember what had happened. Obviously he was drinking, but something else...Looking at Dante, who was still asleep, Matt remembered. "Shit," he stated as he rolled over to get his stuff. Matt remembered that it was concentual, but then again they were both drunk. For all he knew, Dante could consider this rape. Once his underwear was on, Matt pulled his pants on. His body was toned from his days working as a circus hand, but also scarred. Across his back were signs of abuse and hard labor. His arms were similar. From the back, no one would have guessed that the man was a cellist.

 

[King]

Dante felt his suit unravelling off his body, hands moving around his slim body. He moved his hands to Matts chest and eagerly kissed him, yearning for more of the man. His shirt fell off along with his jacket, revealing his body. It was pale and slim, but smooth. He moved away from the kiss as soon as he felt hands in his pants. He let out a quiet moan. As Matt pushed him, Dante stumbled onto the bed and arched his back, ready for what was to come.

--

As the light streamed down onto his face, Dante woke with an unfamiliar taste in his mouth. He slowly raised up to the realisation he was naked, and there was warmth in the spot next to him. Memories of the night before flooded back. He looked over to see the familiar body of his cellist. "Oh..." He had no idea how to react. His scarred arms were uncovered, his fingers itching to create more.

"We must never, ever speak of this..." Dante's face went bright red as he reached for his underwear before pulling them on. He rushed out to the bathroom, slamming the door behind him. Stupid, stupid, stupid! Dante sat on the toilet seat, his nails quickly digging into the wrecked skin in a panic. He was terrified Matt would tell someone, if anybody found out, Dante would loose credibility and would definitely end up in hospital.​

 

[alint]

Matt put his shirt on as he looked back at Dante, who was freaking out. "Well, I thought it was rather nice. It's been a while since I had sex, and by what I could deduce, the same goes for you," Matt stated as he moved towards the bathroom door. Picking up Dante's clothes, Matt knocked on the bathroom door. Since there was really no answer, Matt opened the door only to find Dante clawing at his skin. Immediately, Matt rushed over to Dante. "Please stop, you'll break the skin," Matt said as he moved Dante's hands away from his arms. Matt was worried about his friend. "If you want to blame anyone, blame me. I was the one who led you on," Matt stated as he allowed the hands to grip his own. Looking into Dante's eyes, Matt said seriously, "What happens between two consenting people should stay between those two. I would never tell anyone about this encounter. While I enjoyed your company greatly, if you wish to never speak to me again, I will leave you alone. But please," Matt's eyes were looking straight into Dante's, "don't take your fear and frustration out on yourself."

Matt allowed his hands to loosen on Dante's. He only wished that he could do more to lessen the pain his friend was going through. This reminded him of his time in the circus when the sideshow was attacked by the crowd. Too many people were blaming themselves and nothing good came about it. "Is there anything I can do for you? I'd hate to leave you alone in your current state," Matt said almost begging Dante to allow him to stay.

 

[King]

His nails pulled on the already ruined skin as he gritted his teeth. The compulsion to hurt oneself was too great for Dante, every mistake he made translated into self-harm. As Matt knocked at the door, Dante hoped he'd just go away if he didn't answer. Obviously he was wrong. Matt's stronger hands pulled away Dante's slim wrists. He didn't even try that hard to fight it. "I'm not blaming anybody." Dante kept his eyes down, staring at the punctured skin. He looked up, allowing his hands to be tugged at. His eyes gazed sadly into Matt's. "I do wish to see you again. That is my problem." He said, his voice flat. Dante loved men, he just hated to be homosexual.

Dante didn't want to say it, but he did. "Stay." He said, looking down at his arms. "We do not have to wake the hall until 8PM. I'm conducting another show. Unless you do not wish to see me again, I ask for your company again." He swallowed hard and looked up with his grey eyes.​