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Hey RPers!

Sorry for the recent silence. I've been world building a new universe for a space opera RP.
For this thread though, I'll show you some love today.
I'll be calculating how many of us are ready to start RPing versus those who either
1) Aren't complete with their CS OR
2) Didn't start or haven't shown and activity recently.

Based on the numbers, I'll make a decision and start brainstorming/discussing how the opening post should and where our scenes should start off on D-Day. I think most of us are ready, but that's just by looking through the thread quickly.
If you're one of the two that I listed above, no need to worry. I can easily message you and we can talk on how to introduce you to the scene. That's super easy to do :)

Also, if the RP ever experiences an influx of attention I already have a second D-Day planned. So anyone can jump in easily at this point. There's no stress on that. Any input on this idea so far?

Thank You!
Your Local GM :)
 
I have 1x1 replies to catch up on, but I'll be starting my character either tonight or tomorrow for sure. I'm definitely still interested c:
 
Well you're always welcome here :)

Also. Feel free to RP within this universe 1x1 as well should you see the need. You just opened my mind up to that. It'd be great for Rpers to Rp a scene on their own terms when the GM rules can't facilitate it..but that's just me brainstorming aloud.

Anyways. I'm not sure when to set a deadline. Suggestions are welcome. Take your time though.
 
No big deal on the being busy. I did notice you had the other RP up, so I hope it's going well. No big deal that this one is left alone while you do other stuff, anyhow.
 
Just note. I don't talk OOC much and it's not because I don't like any of you or that I am inactive it's just simply that I do not have a habit of talking very much. I just don't.
 
Just note. I don't talk OOC much and it's not because I don't like any of you or that I am inactive it's just simply that I do not have a habit of talking very much. I just don't.
I am the same, I try to talk ooc, but I usually don't have much to say
 
Great to know!
Ill factor that in.
I think the deadline date for those involved in D-Day: Initiation will be set for tomorrow at midnight. More info on that later. Ill be brainstorming a way to begin ;)
 
I honestly don't say much either, unless something gets my attention. I do still await commentary on the various characters so far, particularly if we might want to get any changes in before the deadline. Unless deadline is for a sheet existing, not necessarily finalized.
 
@Mundane Monster
Lacey Marks / Tin Doll
[Showing vs Telling]


I just noticed this CS was incomplete. But your character seems fine. And she has an interesting background concept. My only critique is the background story seems long in text. It's hard to get through since sentences and ideas tend to repeat themselves. I only suggest you proofread and cut off the repeated ideas. For example.

"The level of radiation in their neighborhood was quite high, as they had never lived in a good neighborhood in the first place. Manholes on the street would shudder and shake from the immense skin melting steam underground that tried desperately to breach the surface."

The first sentence and second sentence communicate the same idea. The first sentence tells us radiation was high. The second shows us radiation was high. This is an issue for all RPers (I do it too). It makes our posts long and hard to read if we dont proofread them out. Remember, showing it always better than telling.

If I wanted you to know Bob hated puppies, I may tell you "Bob hated puppies" and type out all these reasons why. Instead. What if I just made Bob kick a few puppies and complain about their smell, while deleting all the repeating sentences about why and how he hated them. This is Showing, not Telling.

@R-9 Pilot
Runa Yggsadril
[Personality in Your CS]


My other critique would be, other than being naive I couldn't really tell what Runa's personality was. Her backstory doesn't lend itself to telling who she is as a person, but mostly seems to serve as an explanation for her CS power list. That isn't a bad thing, but it should be a balanced so that we know who and what she's like while finding out why she's like that. She has powers, a backstory but her personality doesn't shine much at all--which is very important in this RP since atmosphere and finesse are so critical. It's an RP about different personalities working together--similar to the mix of characters brought on by the league.


@CookieMonster
Kate/Cybernetic
[Power Play and Formatting]


I really liked your CS. It didn't strictly follow the format, but thats okay because it gave us more than enough information on who your character is. This character is interesting. She has a large list of varying powers but it doesn't make her OP. It's a collection of minor, non-combat heavy tactical powers that lend to an adventure very well. Your formatting and color use is very nice. Your links seem to glitch though, but thats no big deal and can happen to anyone.

@ShiroKiyoshi
Rant Titus Mouse / Rat
[Power Play] [Showing vs Telling]


I think I fell in love the minute I saw we had an anthropomorphic animal for a character. It's something I would've never seen coming into this RP which is why I loved it. You're also the second lab-experiment character in the RP next to Runa Yggsadril, which is why I've capped it off. Not to discredit any of you, but to avoid repeating stories in the RP.

A critique on Rant's powers though. His super strength is a bit too powerful for the RP--being able to lift up buildings is too strong since he could just take out about anyone with a flick of the wrist. Not only this, but lifting up buildings isn't a realistic description. This RP is in the DC Universe, but follows the more down-to-earth vibe of the Justice League, Batman Beyond, Young Justice, Teen Titans animated series where the golden age type of lifting skyscrapers action doesn't bode well here.

I'm not quite too sure what your Magical Code is. From what I understand, it's a re-purposed control collar Rant uses for..I'm not sure.

You're weaknesses and power combinations are otherwise very solid. It's very species oriented, which I like very much.

@Starrnico
Great CS. I do suggest you look at everyone's critiques and apply where needed.

@CookieMonster
Larke Reed

Great CS. Again suggesting you look at everyone's critiques and apply where needed.
If you think your character lacks power or can be beefed up a tad, feel free to say so.


How You'll Write IC Posts
Showing vs Telling

Showing vs Telling is important. I can't stress this enough. Dont tell me you walked down the street. Show me how hard you were sweating trying to get there in the first place. Dont tell me an attack hurt you. Show me your bleeding bruise and and you gripped it with your hand that stung it a bit because of the cold sweat you nervously got facing your enemy. See how much more epic that is? :)

Being Concise, Immersive
This plays into the first one. Naturally showing over telling is more concise and immersive. But it usually wont be every single sentence in your post. Use discretion. Rules are meant to be broken where it makes a situation even better. Be natural :)

Quality > Quantity
Make every post a labor of love. Post it. Proofread it. Adjust it. Make it cool :).

Use Spoilers/Color/Pictures
Just like before. Spoilers, color and pictures all play into the ideas above. It keeps it from being an eyesore. Conveys finesse. And pictures, when used right, can be highly immersive. This is a comic book RP after all, lets find some cool pictures to go with it.

Format
Before you post your IC stuff, every post you have will follow this format


Batman (Character Name)
Batman vs Superman (Opponent if Any)
Gotham City (Location)

Friendly GM Note

Today was a long post. This is a set of critiques I've put in order so that we have a degree of quality control within the RP. I'm sorry if it felt like I was holding your hand--I'm relativley new to this GM thing. They're never personal attacks on your person or character. I'm also not a perfect RPer; I'm not trying to say that. I did this so we could create a format and style that keeps us all interested together.

The deadline will be placed because I'm trying to keep the momentum of interest and wouldn't want to wait too long to start. No need to panic for those that don't make D-Day, its just as easy to include you in on the RP in an interesting way even if you don't make it.

The critiques are not meant for any one RPer. They're examples that each of us should follow and review our posts with.

~Your Local GM


PS
I think the first post will be from Wonder Woman's angle as she opens auditions at a press conference on a snowy, cold Winter's day. Then we will follow our characters as they go through their every day lives going to the said audition, or however they get there depending on your own ideas.

Now..I'm sort of new to the whole..GM thing..so..um..I'm not sure how to communicate what I planned or want to happen in a particular scene. So every now and then in the IC post I will have a "GM IC POST" header that will RP some NPC's that will push the plot a long when the pacing is just about slowed down enough to need another pick up. My GM posts will include

1) An aesthetic debrief of the surroundings, likely images included
2) Presenting atmosphere and NPCs
3) Keeping the pace smooth.


I came up with this idea since in the real world there are events we cannot control. Of course the duty of RPing such characters will shift as time progresses but I'll do it for now since we're just setting up.

I encourage you all to world build your own archs you may want to see also. And if you've read this far, tell me!

What do you think of the "GM IC POST" idea?
 
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Just curious, is there any info on Star City? I started on my character and wanted to throw some influences into his backstory but I don't want to overstep or make conflicts with any future plans you have, @Solar.
 
@Mundane Monster
Lacey Marks / Tin Doll
[Showing vs Telling]


I just noticed this CS was incomplete. But your character seems fine. And she has an interesting background concept. My only critique is the background story seems long in text. It's hard to get through since sentences and ideas tend to repeat themselves. I only suggest you proofread and cut off the repeated ideas. For example.

"The level of radiation in their neighborhood was quite high, as they had never lived in a good neighborhood in the first place. Manholes on the street would shudder and shake from the immense skin melting steam underground that tried desperately to breach the surface."

The first sentence and second sentence communicate the same idea. The first sentence tells us radiation was high. The second shows us radiation was high. This is an issue for all RPers (I do it too). It makes our posts long and hard to read if we dont proofread them out. Remember, showing it always better than telling.

If I wanted you to know Bob hated puppies, I may tell you "Bob hated puppies" and type out all these reasons why. Instead. What if I just made Bob kick a few puppies and complain about their smell, while deleting all the repeating sentences about why and how he hated them. This is Showing, not Telling.

@R-9 Pilot
Runa Yggsadril
[Personality in Your CS]


My other critique would be, other than being naive I couldn't really tell what Runa's personality was. Her backstory doesn't lend itself to telling who she is as a person, but mostly seems to serve as an explanation for her CS power list. That isn't a bad thing, but it should be a balanced so that we know who and what she's like while finding out why she's like that. She has powers, a backstory but her personality doesn't shine much at all--which is very important in this RP since atmosphere and finesse are so critical. It's an RP about different personalities working together--similar to the mix of characters brought on by the league.


@CookieMonster
Kate/Cybernetic
[Power Play and Formatting]


I really liked your CS. It didn't strictly follow the format, but thats okay because it gave us more than enough information on who your character is. This character is interesting. She has a large list of varying powers but it doesn't make her OP. It's a collection of minor, non-combat heavy tactical powers that lend to an adventure very well. Your formatting and color use is very nice. Your links seem to glitch though, but thats no big deal and can happen to anyone.

@ShiroKiyoshi
Rant Titus Mouse / Rat
[Power Play] [Showing vs Telling]


I think I fell in love the minute I saw we had an anthropomorphic animal for a character. It's something I would've never seen coming into this RP which is why I loved it. You're also the second lab-experiment character in the RP next to Runa Yggsadril, which is why I've capped it off. Not to discredit any of you, but to avoid repeating stories in the RP.

A critique on Rant's powers though. His super strength is a bit too powerful for the RP--being able to lift up buildings is too strong since he could just take out about anyone with a flick of the wrist. Not only this, but lifting up buildings isn't a realistic description. This RP is in the DC Universe, but follows the more down-to-earth vibe of the Justice League, Batman Beyond, Young Justice, Teen Titans animated series where the golden age type of lifting skyscrapers action doesn't bode well here.

I'm not quite too sure what your Magical Code is. From what I understand, it's a re-purposed control collar Rant uses for..I'm not sure.

You're weaknesses and power combinations are otherwise very solid. It's very species oriented, which I like very much.

@Starrnico
Great CS. I do suggest you look at everyone's critiques and apply where needed.

@CookieMonster
Larke Reed

Great CS. Again suggesting you look at everyone's critiques and apply where needed.
If you think your character lacks power or can be beefed up a tad, feel free to say so.


How You'll Write IC Posts
Showing vs Telling

Showing vs Telling is important. I can't stress this enough. Dont tell me you walked down the street. Show me how hard you were sweating trying to get there in the first place. Dont tell me an attack hurt you. Show me your bleeding bruise and and you gripped it with your hand that stung it a bit because of the cold sweat you nervously got facing your enemy. See how much more epic that is? :)

Being Concise, Immersive
This plays into the first one. Naturally showing over telling is more concise and immersive. But it usually wont be every single sentence in your post. Use discretion. Rules are meant to be broken where it makes a situation even better. Be natural :)

Quality > Quantity
Make every post a labor of love. Post it. Proofread it. Adjust it. Make it cool :).

Use Spoilers/Color/Pictures
Just like before. Spoilers, color and pictures all play into the ideas above. It keeps it from being an eyesore. Conveys finesse. And pictures, when used right, can be highly immersive. This is a comic book RP after all, lets find some cool pictures to go with it.

Format
Before you post your IC stuff, every post you have will follow this format


Batman (Character Name)
Batman vs Superman (Opponent if Any)
Gotham City (Location)

Friendly GM Note

Today was a long post. This is a set of critiques I've put in order so that we have a degree of quality control within the RP. I'm sorry if it felt like I was holding your hand--I'm relativley new to this GM thing. They're never personal attacks on your person or character. I'm also not a perfect RPer; I'm not trying to say that. I did this so we could create a format and style that keeps us all interested together.

The deadline will be placed because I'm trying to keep the momentum of interest and wouldn't want to wait too long to start. No need to panic for those that don't make D-Day, its just as easy to include you in on the RP in an interesting way even if you don't make it.

The critiques are not meant for any one RPer. They're examples that each of us should follow and review our posts with.

~Your Local GM


PS
I think the first post will be from Wonder Woman's angle as she opens auditions at a press conference on a snowy, cold Winter's day. Then we will follow our characters as they go through their every day lives going to the said audition, or however they get there depending on your own ideas.

Now..I'm sort of new to the whole..GM thing..so..um..I'm not sure how to communicate what I planned or want to happen in a particular scene. So every now and then in the IC post I will have a "GM IC POST" header that will RP some NPC's that will push the plot a long when the pacing is just about slowed down enough to need another pick up. My GM posts will include

1) An aesthetic debrief of the surroundings, likely images included
2) Presenting atmosphere and NPCs
3) Keeping the pace smooth.


I came up with this idea since in the real world there are events we cannot control. Of course the duty of RPing such characters will shift as time progresses but I'll do it for now since we're just setting up.

I encourage you all to world build your own archs you may want to see also. And if you've read this far, tell me!

What do you think of the "GM IC POST" idea?
So...

  1. Tone strength down
  2. Clear up Magical Code
 
@ShiroKiyoshi You got it buddy

@neptune
No, I dont have Star City in the RP but I can add it if you'd like. It just would be blank of any stories I had planned, but we can work on that. I'm also planning to add Atlantis as well.
 
@ShiroKiyoshi You got it buddy

@neptune
No, I dont have Star City in the RP but I can add it if you'd like. It just would be blank of any stories I had planned, but we can work on that. I'm also planning to add Atlantis as well.
Done.
 
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@neptune
No, I dont have Star City in the RP but I can add it if you'd like. It just would be blank of any stories I had planned, but we can work on that. I'm also planning to add Atlantis as well.
That works for me c: I'd be happy to help out with any future Star City happenings.
 
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Youre welcome to be creative with it and world build it yourself if you'd like. Perhaps world building it will allow you to think of some archs
 
I'll see what I can do to flesh out personality. A fair bit of it will probably shine through during play, but Runa's not quite a blank slate, if you'd prefer someone more nuanced or opinionated.

On Rant: it amuses me that while he is also some sort of created life, that's largely overridden by the simple fact that he's an alien, as far as origin stories actually go.

Big GM set-up posts seem like a fine idea to me. They're useful, at times.

And updated Runa's personality a fair bit. Part of me is tempted to do a few other changes, like up her age a few years, with some changes to how she acts (less naive and childish, still probably very strong ideals. "There's too much evil already in the world not to make good," that sort of thing.) It would...mostly be just because pretty much everyone so far is fairly young, though that we've accidentally Teen Titans isn't something we need to make an effort to break, either.
 
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oxmjT0E.jpg

image credit to len-yan
Full Name: Calvin Devore
Alias: Scavenger
Appearance: Afflicted with partial albinism, Calvin, with his ghostly hair and skin, tends to stick out like a sore thumb. He is a willowy young man, standing a few inches over six feet tall. He weighs less than he should, but lean muscle definition and upper body strength make up for that short coming.
Age: 20
Gender: Male
Sexuality: Pansexual
Weapons & Equipment:
Custom Made Composite Bow
Scrap Metal and Steel Tipped Wooden Arrows
Various Trick Arrows (limited supply)
Small Throwing Knife

Leather Quiver
Attachable Hood
Protective Gauntlets
Reinforced Chest Guard
Finger Tabs
Beaked Black Domino Mask

Scavenger's Suit is fashioned out of deflexion silicone. This lightweight but strong fabric allows for free movement and flexibility. When Scavenger is struck by a blow, whether it be a fist or another non-lethal weapon, the fabric immediately turns solid to absorb the pressure before reverting back to its free-moving state.

The White Crow has no formal name, but is one of Calvin's closest friends. Since becoming Scavenger, the bird has served as eyes and ears for Calvin during tough situations and has gotten him out of trouble on more than one occasion. The crow acts similar to a familiar, holding primitive conversations and protecting Calvin when needed.

Powers: Limited Avian Manipulation
Having a natural affinity with birds, mostly crows, Calvin has the ability to control feathered friends through a weak form of telepathy. This gift allows him to use birds in a variety of situations such as combat or information gathering. He also has the ability to scry through birds that he is friendly with.
Weaknesses & Flaws:
Human Vulnerabilities
Early Hearing Loss In Right Ear
Separation Anxiety
Combat Archery (depends on dice roll)

Special Skills:
Archery -- Calvin is a self-taught but adeptly skilled archer who can hit the bulls-eye of a standard target from up to one hundreds away.
Intermediate Hand-to-Hand Combatant
Craftsmanship -- Calvin designs and crafts his own bows and arrows and is always looking for new things to add to his arsenal.
Patient and Perceptive

Personality: A seeker of order and control, Calvin is very logical and fact-oriented. He is more likely to crack open a rule book than crack a smile, and his no-nonsense approach to life and work will sometimes unintentionally rub others the wrong way. Regardless of the feathers he ruffles, Calvin strives to remain honest and direct, never one to emotionally manipulate a situation or a person for his own gain. Integrity is important to Calvin and in his strong-willed nature, does his best to remain true to what he believes in. While he sometimes believes his personality to be a fault in itself, he cherishes the people closest to him and values all forms of loyalty.

Calvin agrees that his way of looking at the world is rather black and white, but when he feels a certain way, he stubbornly digs in and resists new ideas. It can make him a hassle to deal with, leaving Calvin rather isolated at times where he is known to retreat inward.
Background Story:
Born to a single mother on the outskirts of Star City, Calvin never saw the best of anything while growing up. Despite never having the fanciest bike in the neighborhood, or brand new shoes from the good mall, there was never a lack of love in his life. From an early age, Calvin's mother encouraged his curious side and fostered his creativity however she could--whether it was through scribbled crayon drawings or inexpensive crafts. One thing that Calvin always enjoyed doing with his mother was making birdhouses out of scrap wood and decorating them with shiny objects found around the neighborhood. For whatever reason, there always seemed to be crows and other animals hanging around his childhood home. It would be years before Calvin truly understood the extent of his familial gifts.

Life was stable for a while and time marched on without missing a beat, taking Calvin from a curious child to a reserved and sometimes timid teen. Making friends and keeping them was difficult and his extremely pale skin often lead to teasing at school. His mother, who worked her fingers to the bone cleaning in the city, remained his closest companion until disaster struck. The doctors claimed that residual radiation from the war caused the cancer, but at the time, it felt more like faulty genes and bad luck. The death of his mother changed Calvin and closed a loving, sensitive part of his personality that has never resurfaced. How could it when he was left in the system and bounced around from orphanage to foster home and back again?

At some point in his mid-teens, Calvin was looking for something new to believe in and while poking around the basement of another temporary home, he found a stack of boxes and old news papers. Green Arrow hadn't meant much to Calvin before reading those old, yellowed newspaper articles and glimpsing into a time when good deeds still meant something. He wanted that kind of recognition, to make some kind of a difference in the world and perhaps, feel respected for once. Afterwards, Calvin started training, working out and reading every archery book that he could get his hands on. He was proficient in the history and practice before ever getting his hands on a bow--application was a little easier said than done.

Nothing ever came easy, but after aging out of the system and having more control of his life, Scavenger was born. With a new image, Star City's newest vigilante was out to pick the bones of criminals one arrow at a time and soon enough, Calvin had his own articles. Maybe someone out there could finally be proud of him.

Today:
Currently, Calvin resides in a small, one bedroom apartment in the heart of downtown Star City where his day job at an expensive brunch hotspot allows him to listen in on the shady deals being made over toast points. By night, Scavenger patrols the streets with the white crow, saving lives and making a dent in high-powered crime one arrow at a time. Keeping the streets safe has become something of an obsession for Calvin and the longer he plays judge and jury, the sooner he becomes the executioner as well.

The papers and reporters that used to love and adore him are now torn on his presence and split over how brutal their bird-loving savior has become. No one can mince words over results, however, and now that the streets of Star City have become a little safer, Calvin's aspirations have broadened. His goals are lofty, but his heart is in the right place.



This is not perfect by any means, but I wanted to get it up while I had the time. If any corrections or changes need to be made, please let me know and I'll get them done ASAP!
 
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