Discussion in 'THREAD ARCHIVES' started by Razie Angel, May 25, 2015.

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  1. So ladies and gents of Iwaku. I have an outside of the site issue that I would like to discuss. First of all I should give you a little back history on this. I was adopted by people old enough to be my grandparents. They died when I was younger. I've been with my sister, who is now 56. She has diabetes. Her leg and foot from the middle of her shin down is discolored because she has poor circulation. However I have been told that her problem is because she doesn't do anything. Which is very true. She wont do much for herself. She demands for me to do it. It has been this way since I came into her custody when I was a teenager. She is very lazy. She will continually demand me to do everything for her, or do something for her because she doesn't want to get up, her foot hurts. She is addicted to coffee, so all throughout the day she will demand for me to drop what I am doing and get her a cup of coffee. Or she will make me go and get her whatever she needs. She wont do anything for herself. She will take credit as if she has done something when really she sat in her chair and demanded I hand her every little thing she needs. If I put it just a little out of her reach she throws a fit. If I don't do as she demands I get bitched at. She could walk right past her coffee pot to come get on her computer THEN tell me to get up and make her one. Then I'll go sit down and she'll be like go get my cigarettes. She just had her husband call me to get her a cup of coffee. She is literally five steps out the back door. She will not do ANYTHING for herself. She offers to babysit her grandkids and I do it for her. Then she guilt trips you if you try to say anything about it to her. "My leg hurts! I know I ask a lot from you, but I do appreciate it! Will you please go get my flashlight from my room?" I'm thinking you just walked out of there....But I continually do it in silence, because this is her house, and what she says goes. If you so much as tell her to do something for herself she gets nasty about it and goes "I guess this isn't my fucking house right?" I do most of the cleaning because she can't. I take care of her sons other cat, that he left here. Anytime anything needs done she calls me by her special pet name she has given me...."CINDERELLY! Will you please get me some of my iced coffee?" The stuff that she has gotten more addicted to than her regular coffee. That she will demand she gets before any other groceries are bought. I'm thinking you're diabetic, and you eat ice cream daily, at least 30 cups of coffee, and smoke two packs of cigarettes a day....And all you do is sit around...all day, demanding everything be done for you and handed to you. And you want me to feel bad about your health issues? They are your fault. She should have cut down on her sugar intake years ago. But instead she increases it, and then picks at her food at dinner, saying she's not very hungry, and she doesn't understand why she has weight problems. Sometimes I want to scream at her. And as if on cue, now I must go wash a paint roller for her, for a table that she slapped together out of ply wood for her favorite grandchildren. She's got 11 grandkids. 3 of which she shows favoritism for beyond belief giving the others the short end of the stick. They are all starting to notice it. They are getting mad at the three favorites because their grandma loves them more. So I guess it's time to end this with a it wrong for me to be so angry with her?
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  2. It is pretty bad. She makes a lot of choices you don't agree with. That being said, I see that you are a red star. You aren't a child now, so you don't have to stay there.
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  3. Let's start with the obvious: Have you confronted her about any of this? Told her that you're doing everything for her and that it doesn't seem fair? If not, that might be the best place to start. I don't know enough about your sister to know if that will really cause her to change at all, but it was worth suggesting.

    Secondly, like Luna said, it's theoretically possible for you to move out if you really can't stand living with her. If it's really that bad, it might be something to think about. I certainly don't see much benefit to you sticking around and becoming her slave. And that might be a good thing to bring up -- tell your sister that you can move out if she continues to treat her like this, and that, while there might be some things you can help her with, you shouldn't have to do everything for her, and there are many cases where she can help herself. It could serve as a good reminder that you have no obligation to obey her, and that, if she's mistreating you, you have every right to move out.
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  4. If anyone in my family called my Cinderelly I would probably punch them in the face. That is a blatant insult. Nothing about that is cute at all. I think, if you have the ability to, you should move out. :\
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  5. What Luna said.

    You aren't a child; don't complain like one. Make decisions that you are legally obliged and allowed to make, and make more of your life. Hell, you're an adult and so is she. Tell her "NO" when she makes these requests. She can't kick you out, especially if you pay a bill, any bill. That's called RENTERS RIGHTS. Just call the police if she locks you out.
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  6. I'm with Luna here.

    Yes, in my opinion, it is wrong to be angry with her. Why? Because you are, as Luna put it, a red star. You know what happened when I lived with my sister and we didn't get along? I moved out. If you hate it bad enough you can make it happen.

    I mean just a couple days ago you had no problem letting everyone know just how you felt about Iwaku and members within it. Sounds to me like you don't have a problem expressing yourself. If you don't like how your living situation is going, do the adult thing and move out.
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  7. I say move out of there as soon as fiscally possible and leave her to fend for herself just so she'll know how ungrateful she is.

    Tough love is the best treatment for this illness.
  8. Moving out would be easier if I didn't have so much invested here. I need to stay here for at least another few months. (Legal stuff.) And while I have NO earthly idea what a red star is, I assume it's probably some sort of offensive term. But hey whatever that's cool, I post one thing you don't like and automatically it's lets attack her over stupid little shit. I can deal though. I mean I personally think it's kind of petty to bring up things that have nothing to do with this conversation, but who am I to judge, now before this conversation gets locked up for drama, I politely ask you not to try to attack me over something that has already been resolved. Please, I put this here for genuine advice, NOT to have myself criticized for something completely different.

    I will move out when I can, but as I stated there is legal stuff that has me tied to this place for another few months at least. I'm not going into it. No I'm not a wanted criminal, I'm not going to jail, it's more personal family stuff going on. So any other ideas?
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  9. Being a "red star" just means you're over 18 Razie. She wasn't attacking you on that. It's just a little thing here that tells you who's a teen and who's an adult! :)
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  10. No... The red star next to your avatar. In the top-left corner. It means that you're over 18. Teens have blue stars. Luna was making an observation that you're an adult member, not a teen, thus leading her to the conclusion that you would be able to move out, as opposed to some teen members who have mentioned similar problems about shitty parents, but, being teens, have far little they can do about it.

    No one attacked you, I can assure you of that. We're all here to help. No worries.
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  11. The Red star is not offensive. Above everyone's avatar is a red or a blue star. Red means you're over 18 and blue means younger. So what we're saying is you're an adult so nobody can make you do anything you don't want to do. And the overall point is if it's that bad you can make it happen to move out. If not... then it really isn't that bad. Plus, it's tough love. You wanted advice and that's what you were given. What other advice do you expect other than "suck it up, Buttercup?" Lol it's pretty straight forward. You either stay and put up with it, stay and tell her no and then fight with her constantly, or move out. What other option would there be?
  12. Why not just say adult? People started mentioning Redstar and I am like "The fuck does this have to do with Communism."
  13. I'm guessing Luna assumed you knew?

    No big deal, though. I'm pretty sure there are other members here that did simply say "adult", anyway.

    But, in any case, nothing productive will come of us arguing about it. Let's just move on from that little misunderstanding.

    Actual advice: Like I said before, have you actually talked to your sister at all and confronted her about all this? If you can't move out (yet), then this is at least the best first step you could take to at least establishing that there is a problem. Plus, you could tell your sister that you plan to move out once you are able. That might make her realize that you have no obligation to serve her like this, and that she should try to be a bit more grateful for what you do.
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  14. So there's strings attached?

    Nothing is ever simple in this life is it?
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  15. So... as for the message that was deleted... I don't know if you were referring to me as "staff," but I am not staff. I also was not causing any drama. I was merely adding my truthful advice. I give tough love advice to everyone I give advice to equally. I promise you are not singled out. Anyhow, it is also a personal rule of mine to not give advice to people that don't want it, so I will leave this thread to those that will tell you what you want to hear.

    Good luck in whatever you choose.
  16. Yes I have spoken to her, That being said I think this thread should be locked up.
  17. As the thread starter, you have the tools to close it.
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  18. I tried to.
  19. Razie, I'm wasn't clear. I really did think the red star thing was common knowledge. That being said, I know this is probably unwanted, but I want to say it anyway. I don't think we can help you if you lock the thread over things like this. You should probably stop making these kinds of threads if you are going to feel so easily threatened.
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  20. "Stop Posting in the counseling thread, you might get some rude bitches thinking they're cool because you're not in their clique. No no, you can't ask for advice. No no, you can't make a simple apology. You're not in our group of favorites. Therefore anything you say can and will be picked apart for any little detail we can use against you. No, you can't ask for help on shit. Good luck with the bottling it up on all." Gotta say...I LOVE THAT SYSTEM. It's perfect right? I mean, you can't defend yourself, because you're causing drama, you can't ask for help because people will tell you suck it up or just find someway to be a dick about it because you're not a special person to them. I love it!
    Oh look Razie POSTED SOMETHING! SHE SAID IWAKU SUCKS! WE HATE HER FOR HAVING AN OPINION! LETS JUST BE NASTY AND RUDE ABOUT EVERY LITTLE THING SHE SAYS AND MAKE SURE SHE BOTTLES THE SHIT UP MORE! Chase her away from these threads! Yeah this is our turf to whine and bitch! SHE HAS NO BUSINESS HERE. Careful Razie you're starting to stick up for yourself you might just get in trouble. We'll be over here, waiting for someone else we don't like post something!
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