C
Corvus Corax
Guest
Original poster
ACK I'm tired of spellchecking and fixing all the boo boo's in this fucking thing. READ IT IF YOU WANNA, if not...WHO CARES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I took away the other rpers posts except for mine and the speaking parts of theres that interacted with mine....that I used in my posts. BLARG any YAY for crappy old writing. Sleepy/crazy ramblings rule.
PT.1
The chipmunk ate my nuts ma!
The chipmunk ate my nuts ma!
Elizabeth was tripping over herself with every step. She had had enough to drink and that was for sure. Nectar of the gods!...That's what ale was to her. Running her hand along the wall as she walked to steady herself, she realized she knew not where she was. "Bloody hell?" Elizabeth was correct in a round about way, it was hell, but she wouldn't know this till she grew sober enough. Peering through her hazy eyes she made out bodies scattered about her. Blinking readily to clear her eyes Elizabeth looked to the wall she held herself up with, it was a grotesque fleshy molding of unearthly things. "Sleep…" hazily she thought "…I'm asleep, it's a weird dream the ales making you have now Elizabeth.." And with a finger pointed at the newest introduction in her sight, a fuzzy creature scurrying towards her, she passed out onto the ground to truly sleep.
~Eeep eeep….cheep erp!~ Elizabeth stirred to chirping and squeaking sounds. She had been out for a good while and she had slept the ale off. She opened her eyes to a soft fuzzy feeling on her nose. "What?" A chipmunk was upon her face…She almost went crossed eyed as it reached to tweak her nose. What kind of trickery was this? "The chipmunk has red eyes, surely I'm dreaming still?" True she dreamed of torture usually but why not dream of a demonic chipmunk?
Unfortunately Elizabeth was not dreaming and she realized this to late: the chipmunk turned tail and let little droplets of love upon her face. Elizabeth growled and grabbed at the chipmunk as the drops rolled down her face. Elizabeth Squeezed the little creature hard, desperately wanting its eyes to pop out. She felt better much when the creature slumped over and she had thrown its limp body away from her. "Ok lets see what I've gotten myself into!" She got up to her feet and surveyed the scene about her. Her last memory came shooting back to her as she saw the death about her and realized where she was, that last ale had tasted funny on her drunken lips…damn that man. She had been poisoned! "I'm going to get out of here and kill him," she swore.
Elizabeth stood fuming momentarily before noticing that the chipmunk was crawling towards her, regaining its form with each step. The thing hadn't died? Elizabeth walked over to the chipmunk and stomped its head with a satisfying crunch, only for the chipmunks skull to re-inflate seconds later. It popped up and crawled up and around her body chattering and prodding her annoyingly. A demonic chipmunk that couldn't die…just her luck. Whoever that was in charge down here knew the corpses such wouldn't faze her but a annoying little creature she couldn't kill?….damn she was in hell. She started off in the first direction she faced all the while trying to ignore the chipmunk that was clawing and pulling at her ears. She needed a good amount of ale, badly, AND NOW.
As she walked and wished for ale she periodically threw the chipmunk in various directions: in a fiery lake, against the wall, into a pit…but it always came back. She sighed and finally gave up and let the chipmunk scurry about her person. Looking into his demonic red eyes she asked it angrily "what could a chipmunk do to end up in hell? Eat a guys nuts?" She shook her head and shivered as the creature dove inside her sari. "Watch your paws!" The warning fell on a dumb creatures ears, and Elizabeth fell into line with a single set of footprints that were fresh in the dirt.
Pt.2
Elizabeth sighed as the chipmunk circled her body for what seemed the millionth time. She didn't appear to be getting anywhere and was beyond annoyed with the damnable creature. Keeping with the footprints still she had walked patiently forward despite the chipmunk, which thankfully hopped off her shoulder to scurry off after a time. Elizabeth walked on for miles passing by giant stalagmites consisting of various body parts and rock. She was enjoying the chipmunks absence and she laughed when a graveyard came into view, this was her kind of place. Who knew... A graveyard in hell! When she thought about it…it made sense to her: some peoples greatest fear was being buried alive and the deads resting grounds. Hell was all about fear and punishment after all, right? She hurried her pace and entered the boundaries of the graveyard as the chipmunk hopped back into view.
Elizabeth barely stopped herself from shouting in her next moments in lovely hell: The stupid creature had popped back onto her shoulder with one of the corpses eyes in its paws and had tried to shove it in her mouth. "I gouge eyeballs out, I do not eat them," she hissed disgusted like as she threw the creature from her. "If I didn't think they'd grow back I'd gouge your stupid little red eyes out." Her patience gave out when it threw the eyeball at her and it struck her in the head. She fumed and drew her dagger, leaping at the Chipmunk! With luck she ran it through with the dagger and pinned it to the ground. Staring down at the bleeding and wiggling creature she smiled because she thought she had finally found a way to leave the thing behind! She could see it now! Pinned to the ground it would stay here till some idiot freed it! The smile faded from her face as the creature popped out of existence only to re-appear on her shoulder to bite her ear. She let out a scream full of rage followed by shouts: "I should be fighting demons and men but St. Lucifer gives me a damn demonic chipmunk to battle!" Almost whimpering she wished for just one measly man to kill or at least to toy with instead of her current bounty. She sank to the ground and laid down beside the dagger, pouting as the creature resumed scurrying about her.
PT. 3
Chipmunks eat nuts.
Chipmunks eat nuts.
Our demonic chippy the chipmunk had decided to sit beside Elizabeth and bounce freshly gouged eyeballs against her head. With a sigh she rolled over, turning her back to the creature as if it wasn't. Quite possibly imagining that she didn't feel the squishy eyeballs clinging to her hair as well. ...WAIT, SILENCE!......It had given up! A sigh and a roll brought her facing back over to the other side to pull the dagger free of the dirt. Elizabeth laid there and wiped it clean before putting it up, she sighed yet again as she threw ideas about her head. She didn't know what she was going to do next, maybe she could try and not sigh for a hour!
Sad fact of the matter was that chippy hadn't given up. He had just went off to get better ammunition…the demonic chipmunk hopped around into her view with a body part.
Elizabeth scrambled to her feet in surprise, screeching as she did: " you throw those at me and you will find your self in a position you cant pop out of!" "I pity whatever male you got those from be it a corpse or living… but I swear to St. Lucifer you throw that at me I'll not rest till I find a way to kill you." She jumped as the chipmunk took a step towards her.... "Noooo! No No No! I refuse to believe this. I am not being taunted by a chipmunk, this is not happening..." Even with the pep talk Elizabeth was giving herself, the next step the chipmunk took towards her had her turning tail and running deeper into the graveyard. Of course being followed by the demonic chipmunk proudly carrying his ammunition. She screeched some more as she ran, a sight to see for any lost soul.
Pt.4
Meet chippy the demonic chipmunk...Oh wait u allready have? My bad!
Meet chippy the demonic chipmunk...Oh wait u allready have? My bad!
"Hey is that your pet?!"A demon male yelled at her when he almost ran into her and happened to spot the creature a little bit behind her. Elizabeth also saw another demon not to far away, well he was the only one not running today! OUTCAST! Elizabeth Scanned the demon that had yelled at her up and down before beginning to run circles about him from the chipmunk and his prized ammunition.
Realizing sickly that this demon was where the damned creature had acquired his ammunition from, she instantly felt a sympathy pang for him. But only for a moment, she was to busy running about the demon from the chipmunk to dwell upon the pain he had endured. "The stupid creature isn't mine, while I believe those are...ehh...yours," she panted a bit as she continued running. "What do you propose to do about it...I cant keep running and this thing won't die believe me I've tried." She got fed up after the twentieth time running around the demon so she turned and stamped her foot on the chipmunk and held it down. She didn't say a word as its ammunition roll-bounced onto the ground.
Elizabeth just looked up at the demon and grinned. She also took the chance to steal another glance at the other demon up ahead...he looked thoroughly amused. The chipmunk of course popped out of existence at this time to get away. It re-appeared seconds later to chatter noisily as it jumped on the demon this time. Elizabeth took the chance to kick the ammunition away from her, grimacing as she did so. Hopefully the ammunition was forgotten by the tiny brained creature. "If your out for blood don't look at me, but if you insist I'll be happy to oblige. I've stated that the creature isn't mine, what will you do now?" She placed her hand on her dagger just in case he was unreasonable. Elizabeth grinned as the chipmunk went up to the demons ear now, she thought she knew what would happen next.
Pt.5
Project: Flaming chipmunk.
Project: Flaming chipmunk.
"If this pest isn't yours then it's mine to burn!"
Elizabeth could not help the grin to her face as the chipmunk was set on fire, he danced very well for a furry woodland creature. She watched intently, savoring each skip and hop it made. But then the dancing chipmunk was quickly replaced in her sight and hearing by the demon. "It's not everyday I get to see a pretty young thing like yourself," The demon raked his eyes up and down her body as if she were a piece of meat. Quite simply: That was a mistake.
Elizabeth fumed on the inside as the other demon made his way out of her peripheral and into the main picture. He addressed the pig of a demon first when he stopped walking. "Wow, that was terrible... pretty young thing. I think I threw up in my mouth a little" She could agree with that. The demon turned his attention onto her now as she started to wonder how long it would take for the creature to pop back up. "A demented chipmunk... not really the best start to hell is it?" She wanted to scream. The demon was grinning of course. "Anyway, my name is Varik. Or if you're a fan of Christianity..." "My name is Adam. The first human to be cast into hell - it's a long story, but everyone down here knows me as Varik. Pleased to meet you I guess."
"Pleased to meet you as well...Varik," she gave a sting to his Non-Christian name as she spoke it. She had no place in her mind for Christianity. As Elizabeth spoke to Varik she walked over to the pig of a demon, giving him a deceptive grin as she placed her arm around his neck. As she had grinned at him she had ran her finger along his neck, he hadn't flinched when she had placed her arm about him because what could a human female do? He did flinch however when the stinger came out her finger to inject him with venom.
Since she had drank a considerable amount recently her venom would knock him out, and would do so quickly. She grinned and stepped back out of his reach quickly as he gave her a puzzled look. He already, within seconds, couldn't move. Elizabeth stepped back in with her dagger when she knew he was immobile and slit his throat. She let him fall to the ground with a lovely thud. Ignoring Varik for a moment she cleaned her dagger and then put it up. The immobile demon was of course now bleeding out, rapidly so. Elizabeth moved to escape the growing pool of blood as she spoke some sweet words to the twitchy pig, "Thanks for the fire show but I didn't appreciate the look for the record."
And then the thread owner erm..banned chippy for me when I wasn't amused with someones stealing them in a way. The end. SUKTASTIC!
