Fucking. Bullshit.
*Shi crosses her legs, the scowl plastered on her face as hard as the iron chair she had been provided. In front of her, the other contestants continue to watch the awards ceremony-- their disingenuous smiles softened by the luxury seats they had been provided. Because one of the cancelled DLC characters from last month made a return, there were ten bodies to fill nine seats; and because of Shi's last place in the rankings, Shi got the shit seat. As the crowd cheers for Fay, the sultry Barbarian Queen and winner of the 2k16 Fans of Ervice Character Contest, Shi continues to violently mumble into her bluetooth.*
That's all there is to it, this entire process is bullshit, and nyao I have to stare at the first place prize from this fucking dunce's seat. All the character concepts got up onstage, flaunted their tits at the audience, and walked back up the runway shaking their "purrfect" asses. Every single one, all nyan of the other contestants have done nothing but flaunt sex appeal, and all I've seen tonight is cleavage and thunder thighs. Nothing mew under the sun.
*Shi lets out a low growl, the months of method acting she had taken to get the part of Selina the Feral still reverberating in her mannerisms.*
What do they have that I don't, besides a second D in the bra size and an extra foot of fabric in the rear? I've got tech, I've got cat puns, I've got cool moves-- hell, I've got thrice as many playstyle variations than the rest of these tramps. But no, of course not, I wasn't designed with tits and ass, so I'm the one that ends up getting royally shafted.
*Gina, Queen of Frost, looks to the back row from her Second-Runner-Up seat, and Shi bares her fangs in a scowl before continuing her hushed tirade.*
Why the fuck am I even here if this is a fanservice contest, anyways? "A feral warrior, fresh from the jungle, skills honed to please the wildest of combat fantasies." Yay, that's me, a feline fetish fuel wearing a tribal outfit. You know, I could have done better than this. I could have done so much fucking better than this. I hear tail that League has been hiring recently, and Bastet knows I could do better than this.
*Fay finally finishes her five minute acceptance speech, ending with congratulating all the other contestants for their performances. As she goes down the list of name, she makes a point to put as little emphasis on Shi as possible-- and the feline actor lets out a sharp breath in return.*
Actually, you know what? Fuck it. That's it. Fuck. It. I'm going to go give the guy in charge a meowthful.
*Confetti bursts down upon the scantily clad contestants, yet the ranks of the losers are now one shy of double digits. Shi, her seat far enough in the back to leave without entering any camera angles, had wrapped her eight tails around herself and stormed out-- taking the folding chair with her out of spite.*