Change of Heart

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She was playing now. He could sense it, see it and Arkne laughed in delight and stopped giving her more to deal with. After all, he didn't want to harm her. He watched her dance through the ropes as they chased after her with something close to awe, pure in its raw form and when she came close to him and struck out, he finally moved, dodging with an effective speed. The next one he simply sent back at her, melting it, sending it into the water ropes charged with electric currents and the ones that followed were a combination of skillful avoidance like a child playing a game of throw-ball and obliterating the ice quickly with a flare of fire.

The ice-spirit was clever. He couldn't make the water ropes chase her as effectively when he was dealing with her projectiles and he couldn't bring anymore tricks into play until she tired out. He liked it. It was fun, a challenge and when she smiled at him, a grin crossed his face, expression filled with a pure happiness she would have never seen in his pale blue eyes, whether this way or as Nik.

And it was that spark of joy, raw and undiluted, that finally seemed to calm Arkne and he stilled, letting the water fall back to the earth, the clouds starting to clear overhead and the wind die down even as Lyra jumped back. His glowing eyes watched her curiously, head tilting and then his smile gentled, glittering eyes taking on a slightly softer tone as he knelt to one knee and touched the earth he'd destroyed. It started to mend as a blue glow spread out, tendrils of it healing the land around them, soaking in the water until it was as whole as it had ever been.

He stood again, white hair tousled gently by a natural breeze this time and the power fled back to where it had been before, sated. So no sooner had he stood that the male's body went crashing back to his knees and Nik gasped, breathing ragged as he stayed on his hands and knees, almost terrified to look up and see the damage he'd caused. He never really remembered much when Arkne took over. They were not on the same wavelength at all, barely even managed to graze each other in understanding on the best of days.

Pale blue eyes finally looked up, ignoring the other elves coming around them as they caught sight of the blond several feet away from him.

"Lyra?"
 
Elves broke out into the street ways curious to what sort of unusual spectacle the training grounds held, each more mesmerized seeing the scene of the sidhe and paladin knelt down in the dirt.

While he was ignoring, she was watching them rise and move closer. Whispering being uttered trying to still the violent shivers from racking her body with no avail. Wrapping an arm around her waist, she sighed with relief. He might had thought it a game but she certainly didn't. Muscles were over extended, everything was in screaming rebellion, she let the vision of fatigue look to him as he beckoned her name. At least he was back to a norm. She'd have to question him on this thoroughly but for now.

Struggling against the blackness seeping at the sides of her vision threatening to make her succumb to the unconscious state; her free hand reached out to push herself up. Boots clattered against the ground, a strong grappling grip tightened around her waist as she was not remotely surprised he had tracked her down. "I thought I told you to take my wards home."

He was glaring at the sidhe, the blame for her state solely on him. "You never said anything about not trailing you my Lady General." his face twisted into irritation, "There is nothing to see here any longer," he snapped out, many of the bystanders taking a quick note that here was the worst place to be. He held tight watching the crowd disperse of their free will, she grimaced visibly. "You've used more than your abilities allow Lady General." He was keeping up the ruse of her military rank, "Thanks to some." his brow knit tight to the Sidhe.

"Do not judge what you do not understand." Lyra huffed at the man, leaning more into him resting her forehead against his chest. Eyes opened in a faded light, dull in comparison to her usual spry self, she looked over the Sidhe. "Are you alright?"

Zen huffed nosily at her concern, "Lady General it is time to retire. You must rest, I will attend to you until you are back up." Ghostly eyes lifted to lay hard into the white haired male, "Seeing as others cannot."


Lyra growled under her breath, "Zen!"
 
Niklomaus felt like he'd been hit in the gut when he saw how exhausted Lyra was, the edge of pain that lingered on her face in the form of tight skin and a clenched jaw. Guilt pulled at him, but then the implication of what he'd actually done, who had seen it and what it meant hit him hard and he stood slowly, not quite meeting the eyes of anyone who looked at him, but unable to ignore them anymore either. Oh, stars. Oh, no. They were going to kill him. His family was going to come and torture him to within an inch of his life before they killed him. What had he done?

The halfbreed clenched his fists hard to keep the tremble in his body at bay and tried to find something else to focus on.

It came as if called in the form of a tall, navy-haired, white-eyed male who glared at him with a hatred Nik actually knew very well. It made him stiffen, wanting to shrink into himself at first...and then the male went for Lyra and something different snapped to attention inside the halfbreed and the moment Zen touched the female, a growl rumbled deep inside his chest. He didn't want this male touching her. Nik didn't know why and right now, still so close to the feral, Elemental part of himself, he didn't care either. He took a step forward and was only held in check for a moment but Lyra's defense of him. It startled Nik and he stared at her for a moment when she asked how he was.

She was the one still on the ground...and she was asking if HE was all right. That knowledge alone, unexpected, unasked for sent a crack through an inner wall in his mind, a good crack, but Nik hardly had the time to dwell on it as Zen spoke again and Nik's teeth clenched hard as he started moving forward again, something about him radiating both a calm confidence and a dangerous warning at the same time as he came face to face with the male elf.

"You will not tell me what I can and can not do for Lyra. She is my wife and if she needs to be cared for, I will be helping." His blazing blue eyes just dared Zen to deny him.
 
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Zen scoffed at him openly, "You cannot even scratch your own rear end without help child, do not think I will allow you to harm any more to my Lady-"

"Shut up both of you!" Lyra snapped, "For slaggin sakes, don't talk about me like I am not here and secondly Zen, you have duties to attend to that are not centered around myself. I will rest but I will do it at home, in my own comfort."

Struggling at first gritting her teeth, she gave him a stern shove away, Zen looked as if he had been struck by her. It wasn't hard to those around to tell that his affections were strong for the lady elf. Exhaling hard, she ignored the trembles of her own muscles. "Do as your ordered Commander! I expect those men to be ready by tomorrow afternoon and I will not accept any less than perfection. Are we clear!" Didn't matter that she was close to just letting the void of slumber take her, or the fact he was a force to be reckoned with in his own right, strength rang hard through her tone causing Zen to roll his jaw. "Are we clear!" she demanded again.

"Crystal Lady General." Didn't stop him from throwing a seething gaze at Nik, Lyra moved shakily away. "You're lucky she attests for you mongrel, you don't deserve her grace." he muttered the words clear enough for Nik to hear as Lyra was more focused on returning home than anything else. A final look over, a scoff and he turned towards the inner entrance of the council building.


"Nik," she beckoned gently, "We have much to speak about in private quarters, if you don't mind." she kept up her pace, refusing any sort of help with a snarl and a glare not enjoying anyone fauning over her, the moment she stepped into the comfort of the house, she crumpled right to her knees. The heat of her breath letting go as she had been holding it in hopes to keep her strength, she paled drastically; "Goddesses sake," the words were mumbled, scooting over using the wall to support her body, she let her gaze close. "No one seen your other side Nik, I can attest to it. Though," A dull eye opened to look at him, "You being an part elemental is certainly not something I seen coming, especially a wild one." God she hurt, the manna overuse sucking away at her reminder strength, pulling the migraine to rip from behind her eyes like a hundred war drums, she winced to herself.
 
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Nik had bristled at the insult, but unlike Zen, he also calmed far more quickly at Lyra's snapped tone than the other male. It had nothing to do with fear or because he didn't want her angry with him. It was simply out of understanding that she wanted to defend herself and he respected her enough to let her. Even Nik could recognize that it was that quality his power had liked so much. She was a challenge, steady in her resolve and she didn't bend to anyone unless she wanted to.

It was clear she didn't want to at the moment and Nik watched as she moved in an unsteady way from both him and Zen. His eyes flickered, cold as frost, to the taller male when Zen spoke again and then Nik looked him straight on with a grim smile. "You're right, I don't. At least I recognize it." With that he left after Lyra and if she snarled at anyone, it wasn't him. He knew better and it wasn't until they'd gotten into her house that he decided he really didn't care if she snapped at him or not. He was going to help her at least get to bed.

He listened to her words in completely silence and didn't speak at all as he picked her up. If she protested, he ignored it until he set her down beside her sunken bed. Nik then started in on taking her armor off, handling each piece with reverence as he set them aside and it was as he was doing the task that he finally spoke, voice soft in acknowledgement of her pain. "I do not understand; how could that have remained unseen?" How could his people not come for him after this?

Even as she answered, he finished with his self-appointed task and again ignoring any protests she might give, he moved her into her bed and then sat on the edge, cross-legged and very, very quiet.
 
Watching him suddenly popping both eyes open knowing exactly what he was about to do, she would have easily dodged aside if she could. That was almost impossible at her current state, protesting ardently to the male, feeling silly for having him even do such a thing as carrying her to her own bed.

It only continued as she struggled at him removing her armor - at first, then turned into a complete pout. "Do not treat me as a child, I am capable of removing my own armor." She didn't like it, feeling helpless though he was clearly good at ignoring her whines and gripes about the whole thing.

When he finally spoke up about the scene at hand, she waited till he finished the task she hadn't asked him to help with and turned wide eye to him as he sat on the edge of her bed. Tracing dreary almost lifeless eyes over him, she hummed some. "Spirits, they knew what you were and took it amongst themselves to create an illusionary barrier around the sparring grounds. As far as everyone was concerned, we didn't exist there until the end of it." Lyra sighed flopping right over onto her back and nuzzled happily into her bed. "You were hiding that side of yourself, so they held up an image to protect it." Lyra exhaled unpinning the vast of hair shaking it out with her hand before feeling the heavy weight of her own self trying to succumb to her exhaustion. Though she denied it for a while longer.


"Why didn't your wolves tend to that side of yourself? They were cowering in the woods when I was alerted to your feral nature."
 
He hated what he'd done to her. Yes, she was still protesting, still very much Lyra, but to not be able to stop him? He didn't like seeing her so helpless anymore than she liked feeling it. Her eyes, though, they were what seared into his soul, judging him and his actions and Nik would have given anything in that moment to put a spark of life back into Lyra. If there was ever a time she could ask anything about him, of him, it was now.

She explained what had happened and Nik looked puzzled at first and then thoughtful. He didn't understand why anyone, even spirits, would do that for him. As far as he was concerned, he wasn't worth it. Still, it was done and now some relief came over his expression and a fraction of the tension he was holding on to peeled itself away from his body. He took a far deeper, steadier breath than he had in what felt like hours. His people wouldn't know. He was safe for a little while longer.

The relief was a short-lived emotion, a pained one taking its place, though, Nik tried not to show it as he looked at Lyra when she voiced her question. There was a heavy silence for a moment before Nik spoke, sounding very factual in order to mask the emotions said words, said memories stirred up. "They don't help me when I become Arkne because the first time they tried, I...I nearly killed the whole pack."

Nik looked down at his fingers, curling them slowly one by one and he sighed. "I was ten."
 
Sights popped open again, searching over his face when he stated that letting a new silence burden the air between. As much as she might not have wanted too, she forced herself back upright to sit cross legged on the bed facing him.

"Arkne? You have a secondary name for this elemental shift?" first question, she pinched her nose rubbing her eyes trying to retain her thoughts in a clear light, she scratched her head shortly after. "Ten years is extremely young for any sort of magic to show itself, though-" eyes flicked to her left, "It explains your untamed abilities. Sidhe don't possess elemental abilities making it near impossible to temper and train. Still," Lyra brought her muddled focus back to him watching with a strained force, "You are bridling it with some sort of internal sealing or binding I am assuming, pure speculation. It's no wonder it sprung up, much like your sidhe side, I can only assume your elemental blood needs to be brought out so it doesn't build up." she groaned openly, "And honestly I don't want to play with you again like that, you're quite a psycho that way no offense."


"I'm sorry for asking Nik, I can imagine your memories aren't something you want to relive so forget I even said anything." Lyra faltered back flopping right back down bringing her knees up into her chest. "As much as I would like to speak more with you on this elemental heritage, I do need to recoup for the front lines tomorrow." Her thoughts were like a jumbled puzzle of mush and sloush, she couldn't recall if she told him about her leaving or not. Still that wasn't much of a concern, his wolves would around to make sure he was alright. Her impression wasn't needed here, that much she understood.
 
"It mean's 'Chaos'." Nik said softly even though she was already going on and he remained quiet as she went over her speculations, doing nothing more than nodding a little when she hit upon something that was correct. He didn't speak, though, unless he had to because all he could do was watch her as she struggled, feeling the guilt continue to lap at him. This was his fault. It was always his fault. He couldn't get his father, his grandfather, brothers, sister, step-mother, the whole massive voice of his people out of his head, every single one clamoring and accusing, reminding him of what he really was.

Worthless. Shameful. Unnatural. Weak. Disgraceful. Unwanted. Unneeded. Useless. Destructive. Dangerous.

He flinched as a new name was added, whether Lyra meant for it to hurt or not. And he honestly didn't think she'd meant for it to. There had been no malice in her voice, no disgust or accusation, but somehow, with the painful words already swamping him, her's caused pain as well.

Psycho. Yes, he was, wasn't he? He was so screwed up that he couldn't help doing the same to everything around him. Nik smiled bitterly, grimly at the thought and it happened to coincide with Lyra's apology, something that made him shake his head slightly. "It's fine, Lyra." he whispered in assurance, not about to blame her for anything she did. Right now he felt he deserved any pain the memories caused him.

Knowing Lyra was leaving only added to it somehow, but Nik didn't let it show as he nodded as he stood fluidly and then grabbed a blanket, pulling it over the she-elf. For a moment he lost inhibition and touched her forehead with his fingertips, brushing her hair back in a tender way, a fond way before he pulled back abruptly and moved back. "Feel better, Lyra." It was soft before he left and it wasn't until he'd reached the stables, well out of earshot and prying eyes that Nik let the pain and the guilt drive him to slide down the wall and simply cry.
 
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A stern knock to the door and she jolted upwards in a moment's notice, "Wha?" Dazed, disoriented, hands grasped around her head as the splitting headache seemed to remind her what she had done the day prior. Flopping right back down rooting under her blankets with a strangled groan, the door flew open to the heavy feet only coming to jump and fling her right out of bed. "Jak!" she screamed, winced and threw the first thing she could get her hands around at him.

Putting his hands to his knees, he made a mocking pouty face at her, "Aw wittle princess have a head ache?" Lyra glowered at him, "Well suck it up, I've got news for your stupid self."

"Dear goddesses, love you too brother." Shuffling upwards trying to tame the wild hair from sleeping just about everywhere in the bed, she plopped herself down into the chair, thumped her head down on the table with a ow, and whined. "What do you want, can't you see I'm wallowing?"

"Well thanks to whatever in the goddesses name you and your husband did yesterday, you are suspended from the line of duty."

She jerked upright. "What!" Blue eyes pierced to her clearly angry with her, she cringed back lifting the tablecloth to hide behind it. "Do you kiss your wife with that face, honestly?" His finger jabbed in a pecking motion to the table.

"Aelyra what happened yesterday! I want an answer now!"

"Ugh!" flopping backwards letting her arms fall sideways her head lolled to the side, "Nothing happened. We were sparring again and well, I got carried away and used my magic on him. Totally my fault. Nik didn't have anything to do with it." She felt his gaze peering into her head, "You stare any harder and your face is going to be stuck like that."

"That's your story..."

"Yup."

Jak glowered further as she began to pick at her sleepware, when the hell did she get into that? "And that's what you want to stick with?"

"Yup."

He sighed loudly, "A month suspension Lyra, you know the rules about that calibre of sparring. Unless I approve or am there to witness the event you aren't suppose to be actively taking a bout that drastic. You know you could have hurt someone else with how stupid and reckless you can be, use your damn brain already." using her hand to mimic him as he talked, his fist slammed down on the table. "Knock it off! We needed you on the lines, stop acting like a bloody child and grown the hell up." Jak eyes took on a fiery tinge, he shook a finger to her, "No more mistakes Lyra, not a single one. You are a general for goddesses sake, act like one. As for your husband, could you try not being a total cow with him. The lad didn't ask to be tied to you." Now she was glaring at him in return, "Smarten up Lyra, next warning and I'll strip you of your titles." it wasn't a warning, it was a threat.


Huffing tight turning away from him, Jak muttered something under his breath storming out of the house without a moment's notice. "Idiot!" she snapped kicking out her chair from where she sat. She wasn't going to let Nik take the blame, it wasn't his fault for what happened. It wasn't as if he asked for any of this, still why did she suddenly feel as if she had done the world an entire wrong?
 
Nik had gone to sleep in the stables. He wasn't even sure he'd meant to, but morning saw him curled up in the corner of a stall, Heaven's Merge standing close and protectively near him as Noble Black hung his head over the railing and kept near that way. Nik had always elicited that response in animals, any of them whether they were tame or wild. He now stayed where he was, letting the memory of yesterday and everything that had resulted wash over him, processing it all over again until he had some kind of handle on it. When he felt he could sufficiently put up a convincing mask once more, the halfbreed rose from the hay and pet both horses gently before he left.

Gold pieces of hay still stuck in his hair when he came inside, but they were gone soon enough as he washed up in habit and got dressed in black pants - no shoes as always - and a shirt that actually seemed to dwarf him, hanging off a shoulder. Couple that with his wild white hair and he looked a great deal like he had as a child as he padded through the kitchen, putting water on to boil for a tea Lyra would surely need.

He started on oatmeal then, having seen Lyra make it enough times to know how to make the taste edible if not quite how she did it and then he stood at the window, looking out with a blank, far-off expression as he waited for everything to be done. He'd take it to Lyra if she wasn't up by the time it was ready.
 
Not bothering with pinning her hair or actually dressing up in her casual gear, she rooted the door open starting back realizing that Nik had made his presence aware this morning. He seemed out of it, causing her to pause and wonder if she should even bother him this day.

Moving around to pluck through the kitchen peering over towards the hearth raising a brow to him making oatmeal this morning, she grabbed herself a cup pouring some cold water into it and went back to her room leaving the door wide open.


Setting the glass down, as she scooted back under her blankets she sprawled out. What the hell was she suppose to do now that she was suspended? She knew the restrictions it had and that meant limiting much of her usual habits. Draping an arm over her eyes, she grumbled more to herself. Stupid brother, stupid council, stupid brother. Yeah she liked that one. Stupid brother.
 
Nik only half registered that she'd come into the kitchen and he only stirred when the food was done, shaking off the stupor that had come over him. He served up two bowls, took the tea with something Lyra had once told him was for headaches and moved to her room, assuming - hoping - that because the door was open, he was all right to come in. He came in on soundless feet and gently set down the bowl beside her water glass, his own beside him as he sat like he had the night before. "Lyra." he said quietly, gaining her attention as he held out the tea, pale blue eyes flickering over her face in worry.

She still didn't seem like she was all right and he had no way of knowing it was because of the news she'd gotten from her brother. No, what he was more inclined to believe was that she was still hurting or that she was upset with him, but even that he didn't know. So he waited until she took the glass and then sat back again, keeping his head down, but looking at her briefly from beneath his hair.

"How do you feel?"
 
Hearing the clink of the bowl being set down, she hummed prying her arm off her eyes. Tilting her chin backwards watching the man, she raised her brow looking at him when he was holding out the cup, the wafting smell of jasmine rising.


Sitting upright fairly quick, she took it daring a sip, stopped and made a disgusted noise through her nose. "I feel like I want to kill my brother, why do you ask?" eyes flitted through the corner looking at him. "Why are you so quiet this morning, did you not rest well?"
 
Her first question made him tilt his head, puzzled at her reason for being disgruntled. Her brother? What did Jak have to do with this? Had something happened? Nik didn't get to answer, still thinking over why she'd be upset with her sibling when the next question came and he stilled, wanting to draw inward and then forcing himself not to. The halfbreed shook his head, reaching up to run his fingers through his hair with a shaky sigh.

"I slept...fine."

It wasn't a lie. Fine could mean many things depending on how one defined it. Nightmares from hell? That could be fine if he wanted it to be, right? Looking to change the topic, Nik looked up again and pale eyes met azure ones. "Why are you angry with Jakson?" Maybe the question would distract her from the fact that he'd not really answered her own question in a satisfying way. He could hope.
 
Her gaze narrowed drastically wrapping an arm across the top of her knees while holding the cup he gave her in the other. "I was suspended for yesterday's clash, don't worry you won't be in any sort of trouble. Actually Jak's fond of you, actually called me a nicer version of a b***h." She took a sip, "So I'm off duty for a month, the jackass." she growled deeply irritated to no end.


"And you're lying about sleeping fine." Straightening her back, her gaze turned sharp trying to probe through. "Don't you get tired of trying to keep up this facade of being alright when your clearly troubled." she pulled on one of her own ears, "Be me a b***h or whatever you want to call me, these actually make good listening tools. And honestly, I am getting quiet tired of you being so dodgy with your answers. If you want others to trust you, you really ought to try extending the same thing." Moving over to set the cup down, she faced her back to him propping her head up in her arm laying on her side. "But then again what do I know, right?"
 
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Nik flinched at the growl, looking down, feeling like he should apologize but not knowing how to do so adequately. How did one say they were sorry for ruining something as important as battle was to Lyra? And it was his fault. If he'd just been stronger, more aware of what was going on, more careful then none of this would have happened. She didn't deserve to take the blame for something he'd caused. She shouldn't have covered for him. He wasn't worth it.

Still, her next words shook him even more than his own guilt did and Nik felt hot pressure build in his eyes, a burning sensation that he struggled to keep at bay as he drew his knees up and wrapped his arms around them, looking every inch the child he now felt like, the one the elves always accused him of being. Maybe they were right. He stared at Lyra's back for a while, staying silent so long that it was up in the air whether he'd actually answer or not. Niklomaus knew he had to, though. She was right. To have trust, you had to extend trust.

He was just scared of being hurt and rejected. But then, wasn't that what he was doing to Lyra right now? Rejecting her help even if it was just brought on by curiosity. Refusing her even the chance of accepting him. That wasn't going to help either of them. Still, knowing this didn't stop his voice from trembling slightly no matter how he tried to control it and Nik kept himself tightly curled as his stomach knotted and his muscle tensed. The words he spoke were simple enough, but they'd caused him nothing but grief his whole life.

The fact that he was telling her, even if she'd already guessed, was one of the biggest steps toward trust he could think to take.

"I..I'm a Hálfkyn. A halfbreed of..of Sidhe, Human and Elemental. I wasn't," Nik took a breath and let it out slowly. "I wasn't allowed to let anyone see, to know I wasn't pure Sidhe or I would have been...reprimanded." He brought his mouth back down to his knees, the next words muffled, but still clear enough that Lyra's ears would catch them. "I never sleep well."
 
There wasn't an inch of air given or budged after her lips made their commitment of words to the solemn space. Listening to him shuffling around seeming to be struggling more with the question that most normally would, she was starting to backtrack fairly quickly at asking.

That twinge of guilt, that pressure of understanding when and where to probe for questions was beginning to swell and harden like a rock in the centre of her chest. Sometimes trust just wasn't an easy thing to just simply welcome with open arms. And sometimes it felt like it wasn't the answer remotely.

But there came the spark between the silence crackling and bubbling that she caught more often than not with others, her gaze flicked across her shoulder watching the man as he had managed to curl up into himself. For someone who seemed previously to be the wild untameable free living spirit, he was certainly making the impression of a child too big for his own nose.

She listened without a word interjected, not a hum, not a groan, just truly listened. Taking some time to mull over his words and finding the proper ones to use for herself, Lyra cleared her throat letting her gaze revert to in front of her closing into a hooded stare off to the side of her room. "Sidhe don't sleep." she started with, "I knew something was up when you had to sleep every couple days, not to mention you becoming ill yesterday." running her fingers across the satin of the sheets and pillows of her bed; Lyra smiled privately to herself. "Your people... no, those people who only share some of your blood are imbeciles." she told it like it was never faltering in her momentum.

"Being a half breed or someone gifted with an unusual trait is not something to demean, criticize or torment someone over. It is unique making the person themselves a creature of worth and interest. I sort of figured you were a human already due to your stubborn will and your spectrum of emotions. I'd never claim to know Sidhe behind closed doors but in the open they are distant, cold creatures that hold a iron glove around their emotions. You did not. Humans are emotional creatures, open and bold while being able to adapt to many things in their lives. The fact you managed to merge almost flawlessly - minus a few bumps- into my races culture only solidified that for myself. I've said it before, I have lived with the humans before, five years of my life were spent in their city and I learnt much about their culture." Lyra shifted her weight yet did not make movement to twist back around so her back wasn't facing him. "I know nothing of elementals so I won't try to pretend I understand that, but I do think the fact your family threatened you to keep it wrapped up and hidden is only another reason it sparks out of control. The only thing I know about elementals are they are not creatures contained by mere chains, words or seals. They are mortals wild, free and roam as they please. They suffocate from being captured and become extremely hostile."

Hands pulled the golden locks across her shoulder letting her fingers comb through; "I don't know if you've notice, it is fairly difficult to tell unless you're looking but-" her hand motioned outwards at nothing but everything, "In the city there is an abundance of elves that are half breeds. Some are mixed with human, others with demons and some with drows. There are more but I don't know them off the top of my head." Lyra smirked, "Mira is one of those half breeds as well, did you not notice her eyes are gold. No elf has that; she is part demon. But she is welcome in the city and we are all aware of her nature, we could careless because she is still mortal and she will become a great woman in her later years. What you are beneath your skin, your blood running through your veins does not make you who you are." Now she began to shuffle, slowly pushing herself up moving her feet to kneel under her weight and throwing a velvet soft look to the man to hold it there. "Actions, intentions, power and humility are what make you, you. Nothing more. Granted hearing it is easier than putting those into action, but think carefully on this Nik." she smoothed out her lap brushing aside some of the feathers that a pillow must have been leaking. "You are here among my people, many have seen your worth through your acts of kindness and work ethic, your family is not here. No, your wolven family is out there constantly worrying over your wellness, risking their necks at being found for your wellbeing because they give more of a caring thought than your own. You aren't alone here and you shouldn't dwell on what your birthing father and his little creatures of hate and loathing think of you here. I won't say anything about your elemental or human side because I can see you have worked hard to keep it at bay but you ought to ask yourself. Is that how you want to spend the rest of your life? Hiding what you are because some stuck up image your father and grandfather created might not approve? They do not control your hand. And if they wish to make a problem out of it, you will have more backing of the elven race than you know of."


She nodded short and curt, "You'd sleep a lot better if you confront that anger and hurt in your chest that your hanging onto." smoothing her hair across her shoulder again, she threw a glance to him before looking forward. "I'll say not another word for I've already said a lot more than was required."
 
Niklomaus had never had anyone say such things to him in quite this way. The wolves, they tried, but they were just as much bound to the Sidhe in their own way as he was. They were creatures of instinct and actions, not words and while they showed him they cared and loved him in their own ways, they'd never really been able to tap into the hurt inside him with their words, had never been able to dig that deep. It wasn't their fault and he didn't blame them for it, but hearing Lyra now...it made more cracks, deeper ones splinter through his inner shields and the halfbreed was truly unsure about what would happen if said wall broke.

For the first time, though, he was curious to find out.

She spoke of emotions and his human heritage and then his Elemental one, and Nik found himself truly amazed at her grasp of it, of him. Understanding was a feeling he'd never experienced, had never been given and his pale blue eyes watched her with a wide-eyed look that was probably better she not see. When she spoke of other halfbreeds within the city, Nik nodded slowly to himself, thinking back on the few he had seen. They'd interested him and he'd found himself fascinated by the relationships they had with the pure elven community, but it had done little to make him see how he himself could be accepted and the Sidhe could be blamed for that, hammering into his head for years how unwanted he was. Something like that couldn't be fixed in a day, with one conversation, but this....this was a start. One he'd never had.

It was only when Lyra looked at him, though, azure eyes meeting pale blue that Nik slowly uncurled, feeling like he could begin to breathe again and he remained quiet, merely listening. There was a look in his eyes, though, of a desert drinking up the rain and he was indeed thinking over her words, weighing them and he closed his eyes after a time, feeling unwanted tears prick at his eyes at the foreign feeling of hope seeping into him and Nik took a shuddering breath when she'd finished, misted eyes opening and staring at nothing for a moment before Nik blinked and came back to the present.

Her words swirled around in his mind but for the first time in a very long time, it was a good chaos of sentences and statements. No matter where he looked and what he heard, it was all positive and it was overwhelming, so much so that he had to shut it out for the time being. He felt like he couldn't breathe with the emotions pressing on his chest, unknowing of how to deal with so many good ones and when Nik finally spoke, he sounded hoarse and like his voice wanted to break, but he wouldn't let it.

"No. You've...you've said more than anyone ever has." A hesitate smile pulled at his lips, hopeful and scared at once. "Thank you."
 
She shrugged nonchalantly to his praise, "Yeah well... someone had too." she was easing it off as nothing, perhaps it was for her or it wasn't but she wasn't about to let it go to her head.


Shifting around again propping her elbow to that of a risen knee, she was chewing on her bottom lip discretely. "No need to thank me. I didn't do anything other than expressing myself. You ought to find your wolves and let them see that your alright though, I can imagine they are worried about you. I'll be leaving in a few minutes to do whatever... someone does in my position -" she was grumbling now "So they are more than welcomed to stay with you here if you wish. I'll leave you alone with them for the day, so you don't have to worry."
 
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