Cameron Diaz refuses kid's dying wish

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Orochi

GET OFF MY LAWN :E
#1

PHILADELPHIA, Monday: The parents of 15-year-old leukaemia patient Josh Morten, who last night passed away after a four year battle with the illness, said they were sorry not to have fulfilled his dying wish to get a blow job from Cameron Diaz.

The courageous teenager told his family two months ago that the one thing he'd really like before he died was to be sucked off by the successful Hollywood actress and former model.

"Josh never asked for much," his father confided. "He never complained about his illness, or made unrealistic demands. So when he requested fellatio from the star of Charlie's Angels and There's Something About Mary we thought, sure, that's the least we can do for him."

But attempts to grant Josh his dying wish proved much more difficult than the family had initially thought. Formal requests inviting the star to perform oral sex on their dying son were repeatedly declined.
"We wrote, we rang, we faxed," Mr Morten explained. "And every time it was the same answer: 'Sorry, Ms Diaz is currently unable to comply with your request.' I mean, how unsympathetic can you get? We're talking about a dying kid here! Would it kill her?"

Mr Morten even made a special trip to Los Angeles, to try to talk to the movie star personally outside the premiere of Gangs of New York. "The crowds were ten deep," he said, "and I'm there yelling out to her from the back: 'Will you go down on my son please!', but she didn't want to know."

With hopes diminishing by the day, Mr Morten placed similar standby requests with the agents representing Catherine Zeta Jones, Jennifer Lopez and Salma Hayek, but in each case the stars refused to co-operate.

"Who do they think they are, these women!" railed Mr Morten. "They earn millions of dollars and swan about at fancy parties, but when they get a simple request to bring a smile to a young boy far less fortunate than them, they turn their back on you. What kind of world do we live in when a dying teenager can no longer get his cock sucked by a celebrity?"
source: http://www.chaser.com.au/index.php?option=com_content&task=view&id=1638&Itemid=98

That cold-hearted bitch!
 

Asmodeus

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#2
If any of the members were dying, I'd suck their cock.

Except Porg.
 

Tegan

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#3
Of course, if any of these women HAD accepted, they would have immediately been arrested for statutory rape. I'm just sayin'. . .

If it were MY kid, I would have just upped his morphine a little more, then paid one of the slutty girls at his school to put on a wig and go down on him.
 

Darkness

I CAN HUG A SHITLOAD OF CATS
#4
I went through several answers in my head but all I could come up with was "lolz fagget kid".

I'm sorry, my comedic genius must have taken a break.
 

Asmodeus

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#5
No, that sounds about on par for you.
 

Hydronine

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#6
Hey, Asmo, I'm dying!

*Strokes her 9 inch racistly-black cock*

Yo ass is mine, boy!
 
K

Karsikan the Berzerker

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#7
TK...have you been hitting the mur a little hard recently....That's actually the twilight dildo form of darkness.
 

Hydronine

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#8
0.o

*Goes to rehab*
 
K

Karsikan the Berzerker

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#9
lulz
 

Orochi

GET OFF MY LAWN :E
#10
Diana's penis is too deformed for anyone to suck.

Except maybe Jinx.
 

Tegan

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#11
I already barked up that tree, guys. ASMO TOTALLY WELCHES ON HIS WORD. >:(
 

Torsty

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#12
Morten is NOT a surname! >:|

And like, yeah right, like, this like, story, is like, real, like....yeeeaaarr.
 

Hydronine

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#13
Poor kid....
 

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#14
So Jack Shade has leukaemia, as well. Poor Jack.
 
A

Arsenal XA4

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#15
If any of the members were dying, I'd suck their cock.

Except Porg.
You better suck my red blooded, Texan cock, you whore.

After you're through I'm sharing you with the other Texans here.

Julez, get the duct tape.
 

Hydronine

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#16
With pleasure.
 
C

Cosmic Orion

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#17
I think if this were real he could have had a much cooler last wish.

Plus the look on his face alone would probably make her slap him before anything went down.
 
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#18
All I have to say is:


LLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAADDDDDDDDDIIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEES
 
K

Karsikan the Berzerker

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#19
but srsly, What an insensitive bitch...how could she not suck a dying cancer patient's cock, even if he was only 15.
 

Orochi

GET OFF MY LAWN :E
#20
You know, I'd thought Cameron Diaz would agree to this.

Srsly.