Burnt Out

[Vars]

I have lived in Hawaii for 3 years. It's okay but ultimately too hard to live here. Last year I decided as soon as I graduated university I was leaving. I decided I wanted to buy a house on the mainland. And ever since then, I've been thinking about and working toward that goal.

Now I am in my last semester of University. I graduate this December, and a few days later fly back to the mainland, and in January start looking for the house more seriously.

I just... Really do not care [about school].

I am 28, I'm older than most of my classmates, I stopped caring about the degree like 2 years ago. "senioritis" I guess has been getting progressively worse each year (I've been going to school year-round) and most of my life has been school. I went to college for 3 years, then went to Navy where I was in school for practically another year, and now been here 2.5 years for yet more school. Last semester I barely made it through, and this semester it's only been 3 weeks and I'm ready to just fucking quit. (I'm an A/B student, so it's not that I can't do it or it's hard. It's just that I really don't want to and would rather pack up and leave)

I don't care about the degree, I don't care about what I'm learning about, I don't care about living in Hawaii anymore. About half my stuff was already shipped to the mainland to skip the holiday rush. The only reason I still stay at this point is the payout from the GI Bill (I still manage to put money away each month for the house, somehow), and "Well another degree couldn't hurt."

It's only 3 months and I realize that's not a lot of time in the grand scheme of things but going through classes and actually doing all this BS schoolwork is such a hassle. I'd much rather be working on fixing up the house I end up buying and working toward getting an actual life together.

I'm just wondering if anyone has any tips to make me care again.

 

[Fel of the Eternal Forest]

I don't have any tips, and from the sound of it you've already got a degree. I will say this, though, when I thought that quitting was my best option, it turned out to be my worst. I don't know your situation (I've never been in the military, and I've never worked toward more than one degree, let alone succeeded), but in my honest opinion it would be in your best interest to just power through the next four months. After that, you've got the rest of your life!

Just, struggle through, keep your A's and B's, and at the end of the day, 20 years later you can say 'yeah, I didn't quit.' Even if you don't use that specific degree.

 

[Dervish]

You need to stop thinking of what you'll do months from now and focus on the immediately pressing things, namely upcoming deadlines and paying for your expenses. Treat each day as its own thing and don't keep focusing on the house and move or even degree; they'll come soon enough. It'll feel sooner if you take your mind off of it.

Ever notice how dates sneak up on you, or days go by fast when you keep busy? Same rule applies here. The end is close and you'll not have to worry about regret or missed opportunities by not having the degree. Do you really want the past 3 years to be worthless?

I am sure in boot camp there was a time that you thought you were making a mistake or should quit, but you put your head down and kept pushing forward. This degree is your war, the demon you have to defeat. It isn't a pleasant job and it is thankless as all hell, but you can do it and all it takes is one final effort. You got this.

One thing you can try doing is just breaking up routine. Is there a day of classes you can safely skip? Do it. Go do something fun that is out of the ordinary. The charm of Hawaii may have worn off, but maybe there's something you wanted to do before you go or will miss when you're gone.

One thing I always did when I hated a course was force myself to think I loved it and just keep writing notes or highlighting shit in the textbook, basically anything to keep my focus in class. Make yourself a thermos of tea, or buy some caffeine and some snacks. Every chapter accomplishef reward yourself, hell, once a week go out for dinner after your last class. Give yourself small goals and immediate rewards to look forward to. Before you know it, you are at the end.

Trust me, I've been there and right now I am stuck waiting for this surgery that'll put my life back on track, and it's soon, but I still have to get there. I just take it day by day and appreciate the small things that make each day better. Before it seemed so daunting just to get to the surgery even though it would only be 5-7 months away, but now? I made peace it'll happen when it happens and there's a lot I can do in the meantime.

Three months from now, you'll look back and tell yourself that you just beat one of the shittiest times of your life and are a better person for it.