Brute Honesty

Discussion in 'THREAD ARCHIVES' started by Iliana, Sep 10, 2012.

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    I have had some people tell me that it's a good thing to be brutally honest, because most people understand you better when you tell it like it is! No sugar coating, no hesitations, no nothing! o__o

    However, I've also heard people say that being brutally honest is the equivallent of being an ass hole. That if you care enough about your friend, you should take their feelings into consideration before you tell or confess them something.

    What about you all?

    Are you brutally honest? If not, how do you feel about brute honesty?

    Tell meh! >:D
  2. I'm an asshole :D
  3. I tend to be brutally honest, especially if I think the situation where said brutal honesty is needed in, is total crap. I spare no feelings. If the situation is one where delicacy is needed, I'm still brutally honest, but I do it nicely, sweetly, and with tact while still not sugar coating it. Better in the long run to be considered a bitch then a liar.
  4. I've never seen anyone get more defensive then when told they're an idiot. You want a friend to change a behavior, talk about the behavior. Brutal honesty is more about the honest person being right, hence the brutal part. How you talk to people says a lot more about you then if you're right or wrong. You don't have to be a liar to be nice. This isn't a black and white world.
  5. I agree with Ocha. I tend not to lie or things like that, but taking people's feelings into consideration when you speak to them does not necessarily involve lying.
    Sometimes, it's either being honest or not, but most of the time, you can solve things without being an asshole and still being honest.
  6. It isn't brutal to be honest, and it isn't honest to be brutal.

    I may make a joke or two, unless it is serious. If that is the case, I try to be tactful.

    Ex: You are a complete and utter useless person. *bad*

    I wish you were more productive. *better*
  7. I don't ever believe in hurting a friend's feelings. I believe that words can hurt you, just like sticks and stones. So yes I always take my friend's feelings into consideration and there are times when I don't say something, either because I don't feel like it's the right time or perhaps because I think they wouldn't take it well. You could say that I'm a liar or a coward but honestly I've been hurt far enough by other people's honest opinion. I'd rather not be the cause of someone else's misery. I'll speak up and tell the truth if something is truly bothering me or if what I have to say will help the friendship along. But if it isn't any of those things, I'll just leave it alone.
  8. There is being honest, and then there is being a self righteous, opinionated, "has to be right" asshole.

    99% of the time, when someone says "I need to be brutally honest" they're about to say something rude and make you feel like shit. >:[ It might BE honest, but they are doing it in the worst possible way. And likely in a way that makes them feel like they have control, or power over you/the situation.

    I fully believe you can be honest without sugar coating and without being a dick about it. There are plenty of neutral ways to state an opinion or give someone advice while still respecting their feelings.

    It's when you no longer care about respecting someone's feelings, that you trend in to asshole territory. o_o
  9. I can be honest or I can hold back, basically whichever serves my agenda best : )
  10. While I agree with Diana, I tend to be as honest as possible. I hate liars, utterly and truly hate them. Can't even be in the room with one, that I know of. But I'm kind about it, if the situation calls for it, I will step in. Otherwise, let the person be themselves.
  11. If I can't say anything nice then I don't say anything at all xD I try to always be honest but I never let it go out over peoples feelings. If I know they will be hurt by my words then I either try to change the subject, don't say anything (works best in bigger groups where people don't realizes that one person hasn't said anything) or lies. I mostly lie if I don't want to hurt them, but only with lies that I can remember and that they can't realize aren't true xD

    I think it can be good to be brutally honest if you still can be nice while doing it. Some of my friends has been able to be brutally honest with me but doing it in such a nice way so I just can't feel hurt by it x3
  12. I talk before my brain censors me, sooooo sometimes I run into the problem of either sounding like an asshole, and have not meant it- or I TOTALLY wanted to bitch out but forgot that I shoooouldn't quite do that.

    I can be honest, but I do have a history of having to live with lies here and there, and not small ones. If I'm afraid of how someone might react to the truth, I lie. If someone scares me crapless however, I tell them the truth.