The question made Selene stop short; her hand stilled from stirring at the curry as she stared at Jasper. All those warm feelings and anticipation couldn't go so easily, but hearing it so plainly stated made her mind come to a halt. I still love you, she had heard Phynex say, and she still cared. If there was anything she could do to unwind the past three years of grief and the sudden gap that had opened between the two of them, she would do it... Anything. But she couldn't erase those three years. It had already happened. "I..." She glanced to the side. "Don't know." I want to but I'm afraid. Her voice had become passive, toneless, by the end as she tried to regather her thoughts. She didn't want to lose contact with Phynex ever again; he was important to her, she knew that much. Those three years with him were the happiest in recent memory; the most infuriating, challenging, but beautiful three years.
Phynex was her only attachment in that way. She had never been interested in finding someone; she had always been used to her mornings being quiet, peaceful and lonely. Even with her father; he had always been a bit too lost in his own remembrances in that old, forgotten house. She couldn't always be with Jasper although she tried to be there for him as much as she could - he had his own family, small as it was. Then when she made that contract with Phynex, everything became unpredictable. She was used to already guessing what would happen next in her day - it had been practice, kill, practice, kill day in and day out - but when she had actually become a hunter with a contract... Phynex challenged her and confused her. Their ideals clashed a lot at first; but she had to admit he taught her a lot. He had been the one to open her eyes from her own calm and wary regard of the world; made her push herself to be better than she already was. Fighting had become a pleasure when it was with him instead of just the passionless, clean and uninvolved kills she had committed to. She had grown so much from the young, quiet, talented but still surprisingly inexperienced hunter she had been at fifteen. And Phynex was the one to thank for that. He taught her to reconsider her more black and white opinions on the demons. There was no question - she still loved him. But getting back together...
There was another thing that had made her pause. She set the bowl down on an end table and moved over to Jasper, her brow furrowing in concern. There was that pained note in his voice again and the feeling that he was trying to keep down any upset feeling he had. "Jasper," she spoke softly, touching his hand and taking it down from his face. Her eyes were a dark and glimmering purple in the slightly dim lighting cast on her face, question and determination both in them. "I won't be hurt again," she smiled faintly at that. She would try; but in the long road it would still happen. "But is there something..." Her voice became quieter at this; careful, and entirely serious. He was her closest friend for the longest time. If he was feeling anything... "You want to tell me?"
Phynex was her only attachment in that way. She had never been interested in finding someone; she had always been used to her mornings being quiet, peaceful and lonely. Even with her father; he had always been a bit too lost in his own remembrances in that old, forgotten house. She couldn't always be with Jasper although she tried to be there for him as much as she could - he had his own family, small as it was. Then when she made that contract with Phynex, everything became unpredictable. She was used to already guessing what would happen next in her day - it had been practice, kill, practice, kill day in and day out - but when she had actually become a hunter with a contract... Phynex challenged her and confused her. Their ideals clashed a lot at first; but she had to admit he taught her a lot. He had been the one to open her eyes from her own calm and wary regard of the world; made her push herself to be better than she already was. Fighting had become a pleasure when it was with him instead of just the passionless, clean and uninvolved kills she had committed to. She had grown so much from the young, quiet, talented but still surprisingly inexperienced hunter she had been at fifteen. And Phynex was the one to thank for that. He taught her to reconsider her more black and white opinions on the demons. There was no question - she still loved him. But getting back together...
There was another thing that had made her pause. She set the bowl down on an end table and moved over to Jasper, her brow furrowing in concern. There was that pained note in his voice again and the feeling that he was trying to keep down any upset feeling he had. "Jasper," she spoke softly, touching his hand and taking it down from his face. Her eyes were a dark and glimmering purple in the slightly dim lighting cast on her face, question and determination both in them. "I won't be hurt again," she smiled faintly at that. She would try; but in the long road it would still happen. "But is there something..." Her voice became quieter at this; careful, and entirely serious. He was her closest friend for the longest time. If he was feeling anything... "You want to tell me?"
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