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You can give advice but at this point I think it's kinda useless...
I just lost be best friend and I don't know what I did to make her so upset.
I met this person on another role playing site and we clicked right away and soon became close friends. I helped her through a really bad emotional time and she helped me through my own troubles. I'd say we were pretty open with one another, we even exchanged phone numbers. I've known her for about a year and in that time I became close with her. But... Sunday she suddenly text me as said she didn't want to write anymore, and that included with me.
This totally hit me out of the blue. I didn't know anything was wrong. She said she didn't want to talk and I couldn't get a hold of her until Wednesday. I finally talked to her and she said she was depressed and upset. Said that she was hurting and was upset because no one was there for her. I told her that was wrong and that I was there for her but she needed to talk to me. I'm not a mind reader.
I'll admit I was a little harsh because she said was severely depressed, she told me she was suicidal even. So yes I was upset that she didn't reach out. But I wasn't a complete bitch about it. I kept telling her how much our friendship meant and that I didn't want to loose her nor our threads. But she was hung up on me never asking how she was doing. I explained that the last time we talked on the phone, which wasn't long before she text me Sunday, she sounded fine! I did rant on that I didn't know she was so depressed and that she should have talked to me. I was pretty adamant about it because she told me she was suicidal. I freaked out.
The next day, Thursday (yesterday) I text her "hi how are you doing today?" you know checking on her to make sure emotionally she's okay. She replies with two word answers. Red flag goes up in my head and I prod her on it. But she doesn't say much. Then said she never planned on writing to our threads again. And explained that she wasn't happy with the way it was going.
Hold up.
I told her "Again, why didn't you tell me something was wrong? You could have told me and we could have gotten back on track" Her two word reply told me that... This had nothing to do with depression. She very well might be but to say she wasn't happy with our threads when just a few days before you were excitedly talking about it on the phone was a flat out lie. No I did something to really upset her.
And she wont tell me what I did.
I was again a little harsh because why all of the sudden is she not telling me things? I don't understand. Then she jumped on me saying "this is why I didn't say how I was this morning because I feel like your scolding me" I said "yes I am scolding you because you said you were suicidal! Scared the shit out of me! You mean a lot to me as a friend" She pretty much ended the text messaging.
I get on today and she has rearranged the group we were in, so I check it out. She left our threads there but everything else in the group is gone. I click on her so see her status and check out if she mentioned something on her page...
She has unfollowed meand put me on ignore. EDIT: Apparently it wasn't ignore but her profile doesn't allow people who she does not follows to see her page.
I have NO clue what I did to upset her so bad that she no longer wants to role play with me and didn't want me as a friend. I can guess why she put me on ignore but I don't think its right. If she really was suicidal, my worry and words (tough but with heart) were not in the wrong. I cared about her like a sister and only wanted her to communicate with me... and she does this? I hurt so fucking bad. I'm pretty sure she's got my number blocked as well. But just in case not, I did text her.
There is one thing that I think might have upset her. In one of our role plays at the very start I had a character take on a certain accent. And I OOC described it the best way I knew. Looking back on it now I realize it was in poor taste. Now this is MONTHS later that she's re-reading it and questions me about it. MONTHS LATER. I didn't even realize it was in poor taste until she said the comment hurt her. I then realize it could come off as racist.
I apologized and explained what I meant of the accent and that I meant nothing degrading nor racist about it. It was I think the next day that she said she didn't want to ever role play with me again.
This is PURE speculation because she never told me what I did. She said she was depressed but the way she's treating me... I'm not stupid nor naive. I know I hurt her... I just don't know what I did.
I'm not say who because I don't want to fight. I know I'm NOT in the wrong for caring. My tough love words were because she claimed she wanted to kill herself. But I don't even think that was the real problem.
I just wish I knew what I did.
I just lost be best friend and I don't know what I did to make her so upset.
I met this person on another role playing site and we clicked right away and soon became close friends. I helped her through a really bad emotional time and she helped me through my own troubles. I'd say we were pretty open with one another, we even exchanged phone numbers. I've known her for about a year and in that time I became close with her. But... Sunday she suddenly text me as said she didn't want to write anymore, and that included with me.
This totally hit me out of the blue. I didn't know anything was wrong. She said she didn't want to talk and I couldn't get a hold of her until Wednesday. I finally talked to her and she said she was depressed and upset. Said that she was hurting and was upset because no one was there for her. I told her that was wrong and that I was there for her but she needed to talk to me. I'm not a mind reader.
I'll admit I was a little harsh because she said was severely depressed, she told me she was suicidal even. So yes I was upset that she didn't reach out. But I wasn't a complete bitch about it. I kept telling her how much our friendship meant and that I didn't want to loose her nor our threads. But she was hung up on me never asking how she was doing. I explained that the last time we talked on the phone, which wasn't long before she text me Sunday, she sounded fine! I did rant on that I didn't know she was so depressed and that she should have talked to me. I was pretty adamant about it because she told me she was suicidal. I freaked out.
The next day, Thursday (yesterday) I text her "hi how are you doing today?" you know checking on her to make sure emotionally she's okay. She replies with two word answers. Red flag goes up in my head and I prod her on it. But she doesn't say much. Then said she never planned on writing to our threads again. And explained that she wasn't happy with the way it was going.
Hold up.
I told her "Again, why didn't you tell me something was wrong? You could have told me and we could have gotten back on track" Her two word reply told me that... This had nothing to do with depression. She very well might be but to say she wasn't happy with our threads when just a few days before you were excitedly talking about it on the phone was a flat out lie. No I did something to really upset her.
And she wont tell me what I did.
I was again a little harsh because why all of the sudden is she not telling me things? I don't understand. Then she jumped on me saying "this is why I didn't say how I was this morning because I feel like your scolding me" I said "yes I am scolding you because you said you were suicidal! Scared the shit out of me! You mean a lot to me as a friend" She pretty much ended the text messaging.
I get on today and she has rearranged the group we were in, so I check it out. She left our threads there but everything else in the group is gone. I click on her so see her status and check out if she mentioned something on her page...
She has unfollowed me
I have NO clue what I did to upset her so bad that she no longer wants to role play with me and didn't want me as a friend. I can guess why she put me on ignore but I don't think its right. If she really was suicidal, my worry and words (tough but with heart) were not in the wrong. I cared about her like a sister and only wanted her to communicate with me... and she does this? I hurt so fucking bad. I'm pretty sure she's got my number blocked as well. But just in case not, I did text her.
There is one thing that I think might have upset her. In one of our role plays at the very start I had a character take on a certain accent. And I OOC described it the best way I knew. Looking back on it now I realize it was in poor taste. Now this is MONTHS later that she's re-reading it and questions me about it. MONTHS LATER. I didn't even realize it was in poor taste until she said the comment hurt her. I then realize it could come off as racist.
I apologized and explained what I meant of the accent and that I meant nothing degrading nor racist about it. It was I think the next day that she said she didn't want to ever role play with me again.
This is PURE speculation because she never told me what I did. She said she was depressed but the way she's treating me... I'm not stupid nor naive. I know I hurt her... I just don't know what I did.
I'm not say who because I don't want to fight. I know I'm NOT in the wrong for caring. My tough love words were because she claimed she wanted to kill herself. But I don't even think that was the real problem.
I just wish I knew what I did.
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