Bits You're Proud Of

Discussion in 'THREAD ARCHIVES' started by Minibit, Mar 3, 2016.

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  1. Do you ever have a bit of writing that you're just really proud of? Like a title, a great zinger, or a perfect metaphor?

    And like, you want to show it off, but you know people don't want to read the whole work?

    Welcome to the thread of show-offs. Go ahead and post JUST THE BIT YOU'RE PROUD OF (some context would be helpful, but may not be necessary) and let us marvel at your genius

    Because I am an unashamed self-plugger, I shall start with some gems of my own!

    1. I suck at naming things, but I'm pretty proud of this one. I am writing a short story that is, basically, about a fight between two friends with benefits. One person does something that implies seriousnes and committment and couple-ness to the other person, who gets mad and storms away. They arrive at a compromise, and even though they know they want different things, neither one wants to stop things entirely.
      I went through a few titles for it; "The Fight," "Key," "Running in Circles," like I said, I'm terrible at naming things.
      I love what I settled on though:
      And because I knew not everybody who read the story might know what that meant, I inserted the definition above the text the way some works put a quote or dedication.
      Bate: (bāt) v.
      1. To reduce in force or intensity, to restrain.
      2. (of a hawk) to attempt to fly off something in fear.
      - Merriam-Webster Dictionary
      ISN'T IT SO PERFECT OMFG. And I like short, concise titles, too <3
    2. The opening line of the aforementioned story.
      The first line of a story is its keystone; it doesn't matter if the rest of your story is fantastic, because if your first bit sucks, nobody's going to read the rest. The first bit needs to establish context, conflict, and make the reader curious or amused enough to keep going. You have 2-5 seconds of the reader's time to accomplish this. The first line of Bating is as follows:
      "It was biting cold out, and Edward was wishing he'd put off slamming the door long enough to grab his coat."
      Whaaat? Why'd he slam the door? What got him so mad that not only did he leave his coat when it's so cold, but he's wishing he'd taken it instead of going back for it?
    3. Another title: I'm always super proud when I come up with a good title, because again, I'm terrible at naming things so most of the ones I come up with are super basic at worst and super corny at best.
      I haven't actually written this fic yet; it'll probably be a short little drabble. I had the idea while watching The Order of the Phoenix, and I like the title because it implies something really explicitly filthy, but it's actually just a really cute little fluff bit
      Title: Eight Inches
      Synospis: Umbridge decreed that boys and girls should not be allowed within eight inches of each other. She never said anything about other boys.
    4. You wouldn't believe the size of my oneNote folder that just has bits of dialogue and stuff that don't belong to any story and I'm just saving for when I find a context for them. Here's some of my favourites:

      "I'm sorry, I don't speak Manipulative Fuck"
      The first time he tried to kill me, I fought him.
      "I thought you said it wasn't a date."
      "I wanted it to be."
      He hated not knowing something, it was like an unscratchable itch on the back of his brain.

    So what about you guys? Any titles, lines, names, descriptors, or any other kind of writing that you're super proud of? Show it off here!
    • Love Love x 1
  2. Pfff, the Eight Inches one is pretty funny.

    A while ago I wanted to nail down exactly how time magic works in my universe, so I put myself in the role of a time mage I already had well established and wrote about how he looks at it. It hit about a page and proved really helpful in getting some details ironed out, but I'm particularly proud of the last two paragraphs and the look they give into the character of the mage himself:

    I would never push myself [far enough to stop time completely], but I can't deny that slowing the stream of the outside world to a crawl is incredibly useful. The saying "there is never enough time in the day" doesn't mean anything to me. For me, there is always more than enough time. At first, I was excited by the concept. I used my magic for everyday tasks, from preparing meals for my family at the last minute to constructing small devices in no time and making others smile. But as my life went on, concepts like my age and the true length of an hour began to lose meaning, and I lost control.

    Time magic is not something I would push onto anybody, even if I could. I have experienced a little over thirty-five years, but twenty of those years were artificial, conjured from nothing as time rushed over me far faster than normal. When Alex took me in, I was the youngest of the seven, and now I am the oldest by some distance. I still look back on the times I spent entire days holding my timestream at a faster pace simply to quiet down the noise outside while I worked, and I wonder if it was truly worth it. My magic is a wonderful boon, one of the most powerful and useful elements to control, but it is also a terrible curse.
    • Love Love x 2
  3. Because I'm a sucker for showing off, here's one of my characters as a guest in his mother's home decides to let the boy read to him.

    The story in the book is very heavily yanked from Japanese folklore.
    • Love Love x 1
  4. Jesus, that's brutal. I love it.
  5. Thanks! I stole the story in the book from Japanese folklore, with a few flourishes to make it a little more dramatic (the original featurs the old man asking the rabbit, a stranger, to avenge his wife). 8D
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