Between the Devil and the Deep Blue Sea

With a heavy sigh, Ivan glanced over at Azaiah one last time before taking a lengthy sip of his drink in contemplation. Once finishing his sip, he offered a dismissive shrug and a feigned smile.

"Look, I'll let you in, I guess. I wasn't kidding when I said you'll have to do things for me, though. You need to fix what you broke, so you can be on church cleaning duty. I intend to go and visit the local neighbors to make sure they're alright after what happened, and Azaiah can make sure you don't go and slack off. I'm seriously risking a lot to help you, okay?"
 
"You want me to talk to neighbours? You sure that's the best use of my talents? I can charm anyone, I'm sure you know that, but I think that'd be an awful waste of my time. How about I fix up your Church instead? Do everything? I think I'd enjoy that. You know, my father will have multiple heart attacks when he learns I've even set foot in a church. Fixing one up will hopefully leave him in a coma, if I'm lucky," drawled the demon after a moment of consideration. Despite his apparent positivity, helping out in the way Ivan not only wanted but expected left a bitter taste in his mouth. He didn't particularly desire doing anything for anyone at this point, but if that was the price of staying around, he had to swallow his pride and move on, didn't he?

"On a separate note, will I get the treatment Azaiah gets? All the affection and whatnot? I mean, I'd be displeased if I'm not even treated as a friend to you. We have a special bond, Ivan. I don't think you should sever it just because you're temporarily pissed off at me. Anger fades, but I'd rather it faded sooner, and not later. I haven't got time to waste-- so if you can just smile and say, sure, we're friends, I'd be happy with that."​
 
" 'Special bond'? The only 'special bond' you and I had was that you were married to my sister, and that seems to have changed. We are not friends, we are acquaintances at best, which you should be happy with. I'm not going to kiss you and care for you like I do with Azaiah, because he cares about me. Let's be honest, Makai, you would kill me if I didn't hold some use to you. Azaiah... Azaiah doesn't think that way, right?" He whispered softly, sideglancing the man hopefully.

"Maybe a friendship with blossom, sure, but I highly doubt it. Just be glad I'm not splashing holy water on your face, hm?"
 
"Hey, don't look at me, I'm keeping out of this. I mean, I have close ties to both of you, and I ain't annoying one of 'ya just to please the other-- you know I like you, Ivan. If I wanted to hurt you, I'd have done it by now, huh? And you know I'm a crap liar," answered Azaiah once noticing the unsubtle glance sent his way, made harder to avoid when Makai had paused to see how he replied. Wiping his mouth messily free of ketchup, he offered an embarrassed shrug to the two men. "We can all be friends, can't we? Well, Ivan and I are more than friends, I s'pose..."

"Yet I'm not allowed to go and meet someone? Why? You didn't like me with your sister, so I don't see the issue with me going to find someone else," mumbled Makai, whose eyes had strayed across the restaurant, before waving a hand charmingly across to a young woman sat alone. "She's cute-- who's she? She's probably someone you wouldn't want tainted by me, hm? You don't want me near anyone, it's awfully unfair."​
 
"All I'm asking is whether or not you would throw me away if I became useless to you," he murmured, the lack of response naturally being disheartening. With a frown, he let go of Azaiah under the excuse that he had to hold his drinks with two hands.

"I don't want you hurting my community. I'd rather you send all your weird energy to me, rather than them. I especially want you to behave tonight, when the Bishop visits, or you're on your own." He demanded, while sipping the last of his ginger ale carefully
 
"Even after everything I just told you, you're still inviting that son of a bitch around? And I'm expected to sit back while he sits at the table, feigning innocence? Oh Ivan, you really don't know me if you think I'm capable of that," drawled the man, letting his eyes drift away from the attractive woman the moment he decided that the issue of the Bishop was more important than getting his way with some cute girl. He knew he could get most people he wanted to, so losing the attentions of the nearby woman wasn't that big of a deal to him.

"I don't think I can sit back while that man is in my presence. Laura was... well, technically still is my wife. I did love her, and... he sort of fucked that up," he continued flatly, his normally relaxed demeanour now stormy and tense. "But I suppose you expect me to sit with my mouth shut and be a good little demon, hm?"​
 
"You could find somewhere else to stay," he offered scarcastically, with a brow raised for emphasis. "It's one night, Makai. You can lock yourself in a room if it makes you feel better, or maybe you could realize how big of a hypocrite you are? I mean, you were in an open relationship, and had sex with the sister of a priest. Her having sex with a Bishop isn't much different, hm? This whole scenario should teach you to be dedicated to one love, as God has intended us to." He preached casually, before offering a smile to Azaiah.

"Just... Do this for me. He had sex with Laura behind your back, and you wanted to have sex with me. They cancel out."
 
"Wanted? Past tense? Who's to say I don't still want sex with you? Not that I'm propositioning you, sweetheart. I've learned now that you couldn't care less about me-- and I won't ruin this... little thing you have with Azaiah. I support it. I think it's nice you've finally learned that life's too short to listen to all the little rules. Rules are made to be broken, I find," he continued, decidedly ignoring the more negative comments on his hypocrisy and the parallels between him and the Bishop. Frankly, he didn't see how he was going to remain calm in his presence, and he did find it astounding that Ivan could be calm about it too. Arden had broken one of the rules, He was suspicious of Ivan and Azaiah, and would have punished the priest when he found out, despite having gone one step further in having sex with someone. The hypocrisy wasn't lost on him, but he would rather save his own skin than accept he and Ivan were more similar than they were different. Accepting that meant accepting he had sinned, and he had been pushing that fact aside for as long as he could.

So, when he arrived at the little home for dinner, he made every effort he could to avoid the one photograph of Laura on the mantle. Acknowledging it was only going to remind him of the night they had shared together, and, even though he would do it again in a heartbeat, he wanted to forget about it as quickly as he could.

"It smells delicious," he praised, just to end the silence that had been created, with Azaiah sat at the table but refusing to speak to him. Makai would have a few things to say-- but he had been convinced to stay upstairs and keep out of trouble. "How long will the meal be, Ivan? Not to rush, but it smells far too good and I'm rather hungry.​
 
"I don't know, tw hours? Look, I promise I'll save you somet. I ain't a horrible person, promise." He replied simply, as he focused on the cooking vegetables, while the steaks cooked on the grill outside. "Eat some toast or something to hold you over, okay? I can't just be like, "oh hey, Bishop Arden, I've got to go feed the man who you cheated on with my sister! Wait here!' Just... Go upstairs and lay down, please? I don't want him to get here and see you. He's suspicious of Azaiah and me enough."
 
"You two should just welcome him in and kiss one another right in front of him. He's sinned far more than you both have-- unless you've both lied to me and have had sex. I'd be pissed off if you have. Azaiah's nice and all, but I'm... how could you like him and not me? That's my only issue, really. I'd like to at least have been considered as a possibility for your affections," groaned the demon playfully, moving to lay on the couch in refusal to lead on upstairs. He wasn't going to kick off and kill the bishop, as he had pondered in his head a few times. No, he was going to behave and sit quietly at the table while Arden inevitably droned on about his charity work, and religion, and his oh-so-perfect life.

"He likes me because I'm actually a decent guy-- don't fuck this up. I hate that Arden fella too, alright? But Ivan respects him, so I... I'm nice to him." Azaiah sighed, breaking the brief silence that had fallen between the two demons. They had gone from best friends to this, sitting awkwardly in one another's company-- though it wasn't any a desire of Makai's. It was Azaiah who was refusing to be friendly and amicable with him, having been pushed over the line one time too many.​
 
"I may be... dating... but I'm still a priest. I'm not going to effortlessly throw something as important as my virginity to the first kind man. It's more of a sin than kissing, obviously, and... even if I was considering it, I wouldn't be ready," Ivan explained quietly, his cheeks now beetroot, as he sliced away at the vegetables for a proper stew.

"Please, Makai. I really don't understand why you're so worked up over not having me. I mean, I take it as a compliment, sure. Azaiah is far nicer, more charming, and cuter... no offense," he admitted, before offering Azaiah a quick smile.
 
"...I'm just not used to being rejected. Yes, I'm aware that that makes me appear completely spoilt and bratty, but I'm used to most people desiring my company, not rejecting it, and especially not for... Azaiah of all people. He is not cuter than I am. Sure, he's got that dimpled smile I do wish I had, and he's relatively attractive, but compared to me? You're kind of lying if you insist he's more cute," answered the demon as he made no secret of rolling his eyes, apparently assuming that Ivan's comments were simply said to spare Azaiah's feelings. Of course he didn't truly think that Azaiah compared to him on level of attraction. Even Azaiah himself would admit that the two were incomparable.

"Oh well, you continue lying to yourself. Like I said, I'll leave you two alone. Besides, dating a priest would be far too much trouble than it's worth. It's suicidal for me. My father wouldn't hesitate to punish me for eternity if he so much as knew I harboured feelings like this, so acting upon them would be horrendous," he drawled, slyly grinning towards Azaiah who was now growing more nervous by the second. "And I'm his son. Goodness knows how he'd punish someone who isn't related to him... Oh boy, Azaiah, you're in deep trouble~"​
 
"Will you stop it?" Ivan snapped, as he slammed the knife into the wooden cutting board. "Nothing good comes out of being as disrespectful as you've been. I have every right to kick you onto the street for you to get caught, and I'm letting you share space in my home. Do you know what would happen if the Bishop knew I was harboring two demons? I'd be screwed. Just- for five minutes, just, stop talking. How about you start up some bread to go with the stew? Azaiah is peeling the potatoes, and I'll add the beef. Just... I'm not asking much, I just want you to behave." He pleaded.
 
Narrowing his eyes at him, he sucked in his breath and obediently headed to fetch out some slices of bread, though when he was close enough, he deliberately stood in front of the priest, knowing how intimidating he could be when he tried... and this was one of those times where he wanted to instil some nervousness in the human. He was thankful that Ivan was housing him and giving him some safety, and he was going to repay him by keeping out of trouble, but that didn't mean he was going to be talked to like that. He had been raised given everything he had wanted, and treated like royalty-- and he didn't appreciate being yelled at by anyone, especially not a priest.

"You know I like you, Ivan. Quite a lot, as it goes, but I won't accept that tone from you. Have you forgotten who I am? I don't want to sound smug or cocky, but I could burn your house down without breaking a sweat--"

"Quit it. This is his house. Shut the fuck up and get the bread," answered Azaiah sternly as he continued to peel the potatoes. It was his duty down in Hell, to assist the cooks as often as he could, and so he was genuinely hoping that Ivan would praise him for his speed and efficiency, if he found the time outside of being threatened and intimated, at least.​
 
For a moment, Ivan did show genuine fear from the naturally intimidating force that was Makai, though Azaiah's casual approach to the scene immediately caused him to physically gasp in relief. In response to the other towering over him, he quickly scurried by to plop the carrots into the proper pot with a hum. Best take any situation casually, right? Unless it involved someone in need, of course.

"You do seem cocky and snobbish, Makai. You aren't in Hell, you're in my home. I may not be in control of much, but I have rules under this roof. The... The minute I step foot in Hell, inevitably, you can poke fun at me all you want. I just want you to have a proper meal with us. One minute, without you being fueled by some weird demon stuff."
 
"Then don't talk to me like that. I don't like it, and considering I've been nice to you, least you can do for me is be nice, really," the man mumbled, relenting from his overly intimidating stance and instead leaned on the wall, refusing to help out-- though not solely because he didn't want to. That nonchalance played a part, granted, but he also didn't know how to help even if he truly wanted to. He was spoilt his whole life, waited on hand and foot, so to be asked to help out now was difficult to do when he literally hadn't done anything like this in the past. Laura had always been the one to clean up after him-- and most their meals had been takeaways, anyway. There hadn't been a need to wash up dishes, or prepare a meal beforehand.

"What are you doing? It looks weird," the demon continued, poking his head across with all the curiosity of a child. "You sure you're doing it right, Ivan? This looks nothing like the broths I had as a child-- surely you can make it more to my taste? Let's go out and find a nice young girl who will sacrifice her blood. That'll make it creamier, give it a nice colour..."​
 
"I'm making a stew.so it'll thicken up. I'm using beef stock, not the blood of a virgin. If you want it to be red and iron-y tasting, I'll add some wine. Going out and killing someone is considered murder, and that's illegal. You'll be arrested, then you'll be found out. Please follow the law." He pleaded, before moving to the cabinet to rummage past a few wines he used for very rare opportunities.

"I promise you'll like it. If not, you can yell at me all you want. I don't want to brag, but I'm a pretty good cook. All of my old cronies love my lasagna, and Azaiah saw how judgemental they can be."
 
"That just shows how judgemental you are. I'm not a murderer, I don't kill people. I've never directly killed anyone. I can't take responsibility for the murders in this town. I never told anyone to go batshit crazy. They desired that, I simply helped them realise it-- I wouldn't kill someone. I'd simply... make them offer some blood. You can bleed and still survive. People give blood all the time," he continued with a flat frown, genuinely rather... insulted by the assumption. He was too conceited to realise that Ivan had perfect justifications for believing that the demon could murder - he had been responsible for everything that happened in the town, and that included a huge chunk of murder.

"You're a virgin, Ivan. Fancy draining off some blood for me to have a drink? I'd be much less grouchy--"

"He's not pure though. We've kissed and talked about stuff. You aren't drinking from him. Hell, if anyone is, it'd be me-- not that I want to, Ivan," laughed the other's boyfriend, chopping the potatoes up practically one-handed as the other casually reached across to cup Ivan's cheek in a show of affection. When the Bishop came, he wouldn't get a chance to-- even if the Bishop all but personified hypocrisy.​
 
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Naturally growing flustered, he let out a nervous giggle before glancing over at just how skillful the lower class demon was, and went as far as to stop what he was doing.

"Dang, Azaiah! That's not safe... but that's really impressive," he admitted quietly, his Georgian twang eccentuated in his shock. With a heavy sigh, he reluctantly moved from their affectionate embrace to offer Makai a chance to chop up some celery. It was simple enough, right?

"Look, try and cook. It's really not that hard- did Laura do all of the cooking? I mean, jeez..." he whispered, though there was no sign of him being rude in asking. "I'd teach you how to cook, if you actually listened, if you wanted me to."
 
"We didn't do much cooking. Any we did do, Laura seemed to know more-- is this an attempt to embarrass me? I don't know how to cook, big deal. You know more than I do on this specific topic, way to go, Ivan. How about we see who's best at manipulation? I made you believe for awhile that I was a perfectly good human man, didn't you?" Answered Makai childishly, not at all comfortable knowing that he had an area of weakness currently on show-- especially when both Ivan and Azaiah seemed to excel in it. He was never someone who was happy to show their faults and flaws, and only ever seemed to want to portray absolute perfection, so when his detractors were apparent, he was inevitably going to react poorly.

Grimacing as he attempted -terribly- to cut the celery up, his lips twisted into a scowl the more seconds passed, until he simply gave up in typically theatrical fashion. "I don't need to do this shit. I'm...-- you know who my father is. I don't think I should really slip into this domesticated little scene. I... should be torturing some human souls or something down in Hell, not cutting up f-fucking celery."​
 
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