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Diana and Kitti make sweet roleplay love!

"You don't have to leave. In this modern age, woman are allowed to choose their own husbands!"

"Not this again, Father!" Elaina's exasperated exclamation was followed by her dropping a pile of clothes in to a suitcase. She rest her hands on her hips and grinned softly at the older man standing in the doorway. Three months ago she turned twenty-five and that meant before the final day of the year she would be married to the man that had been her betrothed since the day she was born. An arrangement made by her dearest mother - Gods Rest her Soul! - and one Elaina intended to honor.

"You've known this was coming and it's far too late to change my mind now." Elaina moved away from the bed to retrieve a few things from a dresser.

"So you DO want to cancel it. There's no such thing as too late. Not for a Princess." His mental wheels were already turning. The King had plenty of plans already.

Elaina rolled her eyes. "No, I don't want to cancel it. Rosenthal needs this union or it won't afford to live through another year. You're over reacting so terribly."

"You've never even met the man. He could be a beast. Hideous with warts! A temper as foul as any monster! What will I do with my only daughter murdered by her husband?!"

"Rouse the army, storm his castle and seek your righteous vengeance?" she joked. With her suitcase packed, Elaina zipped it up and pulled it off the bed. It was heavy, but the wheels on the bottom made it easier to drag behind her as she approached her father in the door. "It'll be fine. I promise. You'll see me in a few months when we have the wedding rehearsals. Will you take this down for me? I've just got to grab a few more things!"

The King grumbled. Wedding rehearsals. Giving away his daughter AND his kingdom to some new man. He had tried so hard to prevent this moment! Sending letters, spreading rumors (insisting his daughter was the most atrocious looking woman in the kingdom and mailing fake pictures didn't even work!), and yet here it was happening anyway.

There was one more chance though! Taking his daughter bag down the long steps, it was the King who was waiting patiently in the main hall for the competition to arrive and steal away his daughter. He'd scare the man so bad, he'd go running and never come back.

Evan Locksley, the man that women of his own kingdom had adored. Matches had been attempted, beautiful duchesses flaunted before him, and yet not a single large bosomed and often impossibly dumb female had warranted his attention. His mother, a sweet woman with a merry laugh, had delighted in the company of a neighboring queen, ensuring peaceful relations the last thirty years between the two. When her beloved friend began to experience financial ruin, she swore to find some way to spread the prosperity of the lands. When, upon the same fated day, two children were born, it seemed a miracle. Fair Elaine, sunny as the morning she was born was betrothed to brooding Evan, perpetually pensive since his birth just minutes before midnight.

In the years since their birthday, the children had been introduced only once, as small children, before the death of Elaine's mother. Evan had taken little notice of the fiery girl, humoring her spirit and will with rare smiles as she attempted to gain his attention. He could only faintly remember the meeting and were it not for his mother assuring him that it had happened, he would have thought it a dream or something equally elusive. Remembering the child with a fond and almost paternal feeling, Evan had dismissed the hideous pictures sent by Elaine's father to update the kingdom of the bride-to-be's health. Evan's father had balked, presented ever more the foolish dainties from the baronies, but Evan and his mother had held true. It was her spirit, his mother, Monica, insisted. The spirit of a noble queen. Evan had agreed, always. Women had never interested him at any rate, who cared whether she was lovely or disgusting? He would let her have her parlors and her ladies so that she would not bore him endlessly with the vapidity that men seemed to feel was their daughter's prize quality.

As Evan approached, the once handsome castle seemed to raise itself up, inspired by the bearing of the entourage to posture itself more elegantly. Perhaps it was Evan's imagination and the hills had simply receded here, displaying the once fine castle in the early stages of disrepair. With a company of men in fine clothing to follow his every movement, Crown Prince Evan, soon to be King Evan, approached the castle entrance. It had been something that Evan had anxiously awaited and, sometimes, deeply feared. After his wedding, Crown Prince Evan of Ellipis would become King of Ellipis and Rosenthal, with a bride in tow to be his queen. Marriage and power, two words that inspired great sobriety in Evan's heart.

"Do you suppose she could possibly have gotten any uglier, Highness?" one of the men asked with a howl.
All of the snickering of the men ceased immediately when the two large doors of the castle opened. There, standing proud and looking as grave as a man who had just witnessed a death, was the King of Rosenthal. Henry the IV was a portly old man, getting on in years. But he was quick of wit. A wit, that right this moment was plotting up the worst of stories for the neighboring prince.

"Evan of Ellipis! You've grown to be a handsome and strong looking young man." Strong enough to beat his precious daughter and steal his kingdom, no doubt. The King coughed. "But I regret to inform you, that you are too late. It's a terrible thing. My daughter Elaina has fallen in love and ran away with one of the stable boys. Terrible tragedy. I fear she was swept away by the only man not afraid of her warts. I am afraid you will have to pack up and turn back home empty handed." All of this, King Henry said with the most straight and regretful of faces. Forgetting that he had brought his daughter's suitcase down and it was waiting by the steps inside.

Evan raised an eyebrow, studying the king for a moment before her raised himself to his full six feet of height and approached the king. "Regretful that she forgot a suitcase, is it not? Perhaps I might be able to check, your highness, if she has possibly found a change of heart and is now waiting in her chamber for my arrival? I would hate to leave empty-handed when I was expected a fair, if somewhat kin afflicted, lady. My men will either stay here, or enter with me, whichever suits you better.." Leaving no argument that he was going inside as he stood still at the door waiting for the king to reposition his bulk to allow him inside.

"I am so glad that I could meet with your hospitality, you know," Evan declared in his dipping alto tones, "I know most men would not relish the arrival of a man younger than himself here to lift off his prized child and kingdom in a fell swoop. You endless supply of wisdom in the eventual good of your kingdom is an inspiration to me. I will strive to be as understanding and as generous as you" and with that, tongue in cheek, Evan gave his best (tight-lipped) smile.
King Henry stepped aside, if only because the young man dwarfed him and he had no desire to discover whether or not Prince Evan's men would be over-protective. He snorted!

"A joke, a joke, my boy!" The King waved an arm, allowed the prince to step through the door and even his escort to come inside. "My daughter is not quite ready. A chamber maid is packing for her right this moment. I wouldn't bother to go up there and disturb her. Elaina has a terrible temper, you see. Apt to start throwing things and curse like a sailor. Really a bit shocking, so un-like her mother."

Something needed to be done, and fast! Elaina might be down any moment.

"Say! Why don't you join me for a drink? A lad like yourself would enjoy a drink, would you not?"

Evan's men snorted while he shrugged at them. "Wonderful wit you have, King Henry. I cannot begin to tell you how thrilled I am to be your future son-in-law. As for your daughter, well, a feisty woman makes for a formidable queen, does she not? No one would dare attack us for fear I might send my precious wife to meet with their negotiations delegation. What do you have to drink?"

Evan's men, all muscular men with lithe builds, gathered near him. "Sire, are you quite positive?" they gave him a frown that seemed to span the entire group, a question to whether this bloated man with the rather curious sense of what he called humor might stoop to poisons. "Quiet yourselves, it is all well," he whispered to them.
"Only the best of wines for my future son-in-law." The Prince's men were looking suspicious, and rightfully so. King Henry didn't mean to kill the boy, but he did want to make sure his daughter wouldn't leave with him. The King led the way over to an adjoining room. There was a lit fire in the fire place and tray with wine goblets and a bottle of vintage red liquid sitting on a small side table.

"Here, here, let me pour us a drink to my dear, ailing daughter. Have I mentioned she has the most terrible of diseases? I suspect the rest of her hair should be falling out soon. I do hope she looks presentable for the wedding." King Henry poured the wine in to two glasses and handed one of the goblets to Evan.

"There you are! Cheers!"

Meanwhile, upstairs~..

Elaina was trying to prey her coat out of the hands of one of the stable boys! The young man was barely even 13, but he was a strong little buggar. And apparently put up to mischief.

"Jacob, for pete's sake! Let go of my coat!" She tugged and pulled and put a foot up against his stomach trying to get leverage.

"You can't, miss! Uh... His Majesty says a woman should be fashionable late or he'll think you're easy!" There was an OOMPH from him when she braced her foot against his stomach, but he determinedly held on.

"That'd ridiculous! I am going to be his wife!" ...What did he mean by 'easy'? Easy for what? Elaina didn't ask. Instead, she very suddenly let go of the coat. Sending the boy crashing backwards with a loud BOOM! She winced, covering her mouth with her hands as she blinked in surprise at the boy now sprawled on the floor. "Oh, Jacob, I'm so sorry!"

Only an uuungh was his reply!

Evan looked skeptically at the king and at the drinks he proffered. It would seem rude, an insult to their fine allies, should he refuse a drink with the king. It hardly phased him, the talk of her hair falling out. It didn't really matter to him, after all. And since all he had seen were beautiful, stupid women he had some small and glimmering hope that the ugly one might prove to be somewhat interesting to him. It was a faint hope, women tended to either vex or bore him, aside from his charming and witty dear mother but she was a familial exception to his rule.

Things didn't seem right to Evan and he wrinkled his nose trying to find a way to escape the drinking. His mind whirred and he approached with the feeling one might have as he strides in to battle about to be either rewarded or run through with a sword. The sword seemed very likely, judging from the peculiar manner in which the king was acting.

One of his men piped up, attempting to spare Evan from his situation, "I believe I hear a scuffle upstairs! Prince Evan, King Henry, the fair lady may need your assistance!"
Upstairs, Elaina was kneeling on the ground and trying to shake some sense back in to Jacob. But it didn't seem to be working! Ever so often the boy would crack his eyes open but then pass out all over again. The King did say keep her her distracted no matter what. Jacob took his job seriously.

"Jacob! Speak to me!" Elaina shook him again, starting to get worried. He wasn't even speaking to her now. She might have given the boy a concussion. "You wait here, I'll go downstairs and get some help."

"NO!" he suddenly exclaimed, grabbing her arm. Then remembering he was an injured boy, groaned really loud and held his head. "Uuunnghh.. I mean.. uung... can you help me to my room?" Jacob asked as pitifully as possible.

Elaina wasn't so sure. It's not like she was very strong! But it WAS her fault he was sprawled on the floor now. She nodded her head and helped him get to his feet.

Downstairs... The King nearly choked on his wine.

"Er, no, no. Probably just that chamber maid. Such a clumsy wench. Drink up! Don't want to waste a good wine eh, eh?" King Henry was practically sweating bullets now. He was worried himself what that nonsense was upstairs, but hopefully it was just the stable boy getting Elaina somewhere and not breaking anything!
Evan chuckled, attempting to seem heartily amused with the king. In truth, his behavior was getting worrisome. "Ah, King Henry, you know I would not pass an opportunity to drink with you, but I'm afraid I won't be drinking terribly much, I am in charge of your daughter's safety and while she may not seem so .. uhm, lucrative... to bandits, well, a gem is a gem and thieves know a prize when they see it! Only just a sip or two for me then, right?" he smiled winningly.

Behind the back of the king, Evan gestured for one of his trusted men to go see what they could make of the commotion upstairs. Attempting to stall further, Evan bowed to the king and straightened, bolstered by a new idea.

"However, we must make a toast and say a word to the higher powers first! We would not wish to anger the powers that be! And a toast is, well, who drinks without a toast? Unheard of!"
The Prince was stubborn! Damned his wife for having such grand foresight to pick a man for his daughter that would actually stick to his word! King Henry returned Evan's smile with a wide, if not entirely fake one of his own.

"Yes, a toast! To uh... To this fine union! May it end that way it aught!"

Upstairs, Elaina was trying her darnedest to help Jacob on down the hall. For a thirteen year old boy, he weighed a lot! "Jacob- Umph... Can you- stand a little more...!" She was out of breath trying to shuffle him, and he wasn't even trying to help! Ever step or so he would slid to the floor all over again.

"Ahem..! Can I be of assistance?" Evan's guard had slipped upstairs without the King noticing. He had come up the stairs so quiet, he startled both Elaina and Jacob! Jacobs first reaction was to jump to his feet and defend the Princess from an intruder, while Elaina's startled gasp turned in to an angry huff when she realized Jacob had been faking it all along.

After that, the moment was a bit of a blur! Jacob sprung to the side and yanked at a rope on the wall so quick, neither Elaina nor the Guard knew what he was doing. A large tapestry came falling off the wall, entangling itself on the Guard's head. And then it was followed by a loud CLONG as one of the old battle shields slipped off the wall and hit the man clear unconscious.

Now there was a knocked out guard buried under a tapestry and shield on the hallway floor with a startled Jacob, and a mortified Elaina.

"Oh Jacob! You may have killed him! What are we going to do!"

To Jacob's credit he was a quick thinker. "We better hide the body!"

To his relief, who could ignore such a clanging? Evan attempted to look terribly, oh so terribly, worried. He actually just assumed the princess had seen his guard and knocked the wall with a platter or something equally silly.

"Gracious, are your servants throwing a party?" Evan exclaimed. He set down his goblet again and looked intently at the king. "I should hope your daughter was not injured in what I am assuming to be a hectic mass of cleaning or tripping! We must go and see the cause for this clamor, at once your kingship! Your daughter may be trapped under a cleaning implement!"

Evan spent most of this speech laughing to himself, but attempted to look all the world the distressed rescuer of daughters-trapped-by-clumsy-servants. Evan's men stood poised at the base of the staircase, ready to leap into action at a moment's notice, the mock edginess of the prince rubbing off on them as well.
Elaina was now standing over the unconscious body of the guard on the floor, trying to fan him with a magazine. Now that he was free from the tapestry and the shield that clobbered him, it was easy to see he had the crest of Ellipis. This wasn't the sort of first impression Elaina wanted to make!

Jacob just ran down the hall with a vase full of fresh flowers and water, then dumped it over the guard's face. The guard didn't stir beyond a groan!

King Henry was on Evan's heels and the portly man moved pretty fast when he wanted to. He was hopping on up the stairs, and being pretty loud about it. "BANDITS! RUN AND HIDE! TERRIBLE BANDITS!" As he reached the top of the steps, he was huffing and puffing for his breath.

Elaina stood straight, glancing down the hall at her father confused! "There isn't any bandits, this is one of the Ellipis guards!" At least she hoped her father was in a panic about the guards, otherwise she and Jacob had assaulted their only protection from danger.

Evan had to stifle a chuckle of surprise as he got to the top of the staircase and he saw a boy and a young woman standing over his clearly unconscious guard. The king was making a racket, no, a commotion, as he trundled up the stairs. Henry huffed and puffed the entire way, but made it to the top still howling something about bandits.

In a commanding tone, Evan quieted the noise as he spoke "Stop it now, all of you, hush. Fair maiden, it appears you have knocked down my guard in his mission of checking on the safety of the princess, Elaine. If you would please take his stead and find her, I would be most grateful. King Henry, there are no bandits, I was simply alarmed at the great clamor and sent dear Tash here to check on your daughter. Unfortunately, he met with what seems to be a surprise welcome committee and was relieved of his wits. No matter, I will see to his care but he should be perfectly fine... in a few days".

Ending this speech, Evan surveyed the scene once more with his characteristic scowl, though it was through no intention of his own. The entire scene was the first amusement he had received since his father informed him it was high time he retrieved his wife.
Elaina was stunned to silence when the man had stepped up to survey the damages and spoke. This was Prince Evan! He didn't look anything like she expected. She had suspected the pictures her father showed her weren't real (or even human at some points), but he was handsome. And very tall! Of course he was scowling now, and probably not at all amused with the fact she and Jacob accidentally assaulted his guard. Apparently he hadn't realized she was Elaina!

"But I'm-"

"On her way to the attic to fetch something as a wedding gift!" King Henry interjected after giving Jacob a dirty glare. Boy botched the entire job, but all wasn't lost yet. He scuttled down the hall turning Elaina around to shoo her away.

"But, Fa-"

"Forgot what it was? The small chestnut chest. Hurry along now, the Prince will be leaving soon!" Every time she tried to speak, he was interrupting and pushing her on down the hall. It's lucky his daughter wasn't the kind to traipse around in silk and frippery and the prince had mistaken her for one of the chamber maids! At the end of the hall he opened up a door and nudged her inside, only to slam the door in her face when she turned around to ask what he was up to!

"So hard to find good servants these, don't you agree Prince Evan?" The King laughed nervously!

Behind the door Elaina huffed! This was getting ridiculous. She knew her father didn't want her to leave, but this was just going to far. She grabbed the door handle trying to get it open, but King Henry had now laid a hand on it and was trying to hold it shut!

"Father, open this door! This isn't even the way to the attic!"

Evan raised both eyebrows. This was all getting very strange and he was beginning to wonder if the king was, well, stable. Mentally, he seemed to be loose a few degrees from average. With a look back around at his men, Evan was given renewed resolve.

"Your highness, I am so grateful for all your hospitality, but I would be most appreciative if you would let me actually meet my bride-to-be. She must be finished with her things and preparations by now and if she is not, I am certain my men would be as helpful as possible in aiding her to finish". Evan didn't seem terribly pleased, his men noted silently. They knew his tone, it was weary, but in the same, it was stiff and stern sounding which made him seem more irate than tired. Evan ran a hand through his dark hair, his eyes fixed on the king.
There was a soft click as King Henry turned the lock on the door.

"You're absolutely right, heaven forgive me!" exclaimed the King as he moved away from the door. "Right down here is her chambers, come, come." He led the way back down the hall. He didn't stop until they came across the open door to Elaina's room. Where he quickly snatched up her coat that was still lying on the floor. Jacob, the stable boy was trailing close behind.

"Elaina, daughter! It is time to leave!" said the King in a high nervous pitch. In her room, it was obvious someone HAD been packing to leave. But there was no one answering. "Ah, she must be in there, Jacob, go fetch the princess." Without letting Evan and his men see, King Henry gave the stable all sorts of weird signals. It took a Jacob a moment to understand what they meant before he exited in to the adjoining room.

"I am so sorry about this delay, Prince Evan. You know how women can be. They just can't be on time for anything."

In the next room there was a lot of jostling. Until finally the door swung open. Out stepped the most terrible looking lady. Her dress far too tight as well as too short. Big hands, and messy hair. Her makeup looked more like a corner harlot, and it was very possible that she was just barely starting to grow a mustache.

"Uh... here, father!" Her voice sounded a few tones too deep, and she was awkwardly trying to adjust her breasts.

Even the King looked started. Jacob make the ugliest woman he had ever seen. "M-may... I introduce... My daughter, Elaina...?"

Meanwhile... The REAL Elaina was trying to shake the door open to no success. Finally giving up, she explored the layout of the room until she spotted the nearby window. Running to it, she pushed it open with a little struggling and leaned out. It was a LONG was down! But there was lattice and vines attached to the stone walls. Carefully, she stepped out on to the window ledge, grabbed a hold of the vines and was trying to climb herself back down!

Evan looked taken aback - worse than even the pictures. How embarrassing it would be to parade this in front of his father and mother. But a promise was indeed a promise and perhaps with coaxing... something decent could be done. A diet, for starters, he noted as the dress bulged unattractively. Or at least better fitting clothes. Behind him, Evan's men seemed to be in pain restraining their howls of laughter. One of them nearly fell to the floor, clutching his shirt with one hand and clamping the other over his mouth. Snorts and similar sounds of distressed stifling of laughter came from others.

"H-highness? Can I speak to you outside, perhaps? Urgent matter, it'll only be a moment" without consent, he pulled Evan out the door by his arm. Once in the hallway, leader of the guard group, the second son of a duke, approached Evan not as his guard but a close friend. "Ev, I don't think you can take her back" Peter said seriously, his mouth sunk low in a worried frown. "Promise or not, it'll look like you married one of the asses from the menagerie! No one will respect you when that ... thing ... is paraded before them, even if you truss her up in a gown and jewels! That thing on the throne next to you, you won't be a king, you'll be a laughingstock! Think of your kingdom, Ev".

With an exaggerated sigh, Evan finally allowed himself to chuckle a little. "I don't know if I'll ever be able to look at another woman the same way again, Pete" he agreed reluctantly. "Still, it is my duty and perhaps her personality will make up for it? She'd have to be one hell of a bombshell in spiritual value, though, I'll give you that, to make up for the fact that we'll never have a child together if I have anything to say about it. At least I wouldn't have to worry about her cheating? We'll think of something at the castle, even if it means loose dresses and an endless supply of makeup".

Cutting off Peter's reply, Evan raised his hand. "The decision has been made - it is beyond me and my preferences. We swore to aid Rosenthal in its time of disrepair and turmoil. We will prosper with them and share our wealth, even if it means I'll have to adopt a child in secret. Please do not try to sway me more, Peter my dear friend". With his sentence ended, Evan opened again the door.

"Are you ready, my princess?"
King Henry was absolutely elated! He had meant for Jacob to sweet-talk one of the servants to dress up like Elaina, but this terrible boy-in-drag plan was working so much better. They would be miles away before they realized Jacob wasn't even a woman. He would only have to explain to the boy's dear mother where he had went.

"Of course she is ready. Move along, my dearest!" The King nudged along Princess Jacob, who by now was looking pretty startled and confused. He gave the boy a good sharp nudge as he took his arm and lead the way out of the room and back down stairs where Elaina's bags were waiting. "Boy," he whispered, "just play along."

Meanwhile, the real Elaina was precariously climbing down the ivy lattice. Part of the wood cracked, and with a startled shout, she tumbled below in to the bushes! Elaina was thanking her lucky stars it wasn't a far drop as she crawled back to her feet and plucked leaves out of her hair. But in the process she had a wicked cut on her harm. Blasted thing burned!

Muttering all the way, Elaina circled around to the front. When she entered the main doors, there was her father and... Jacob? Being angry about getting locked in a room upstairs was all forgotten in her confusion.

"Why on earth is Jacob wearing my clothes? Father, I just had to climb out of a window upstairs! That's not ap- Oh Jacob, please take off that wig, I just can't take anything seriously when you look like that." As mad as she was, she was nearly about to laugh at the poor boy!

Startled once again, Evan looked at the delicate flower of a woman before him and the one who was being addressed as... Jacob? He had a feeling that he would be grateful to get back to his home soon, things were so confusing here. He shot a withering glance at King Henry, flicking a glance back to the woman.

"Explain what's going on now?" he commanded, his features pulled in a baffled scowl. With a deft hand, he tugged the hair from the one being called Jacob. "Good heavens..." He shook his head, nearly ready to abandon the entire venture and head back home where his men were not clobbered, he didn't have to worry about women locked in closets...