Best Quotes

Discussion in 'THREAD ARCHIVES' started by Arsenal XA4, Mar 3, 2010.

  1. Basically I want to see what your favorite quotes from movies, games, or books.

    Killzone:

    Rico: Wow, the brain actually agrees with the grunt!

    Hakka: Given enough time even a monkey can write Shakespeare.

    Templar: So you agree on something... Get over it...

    Rico: *Snort* What the fuck's a 'shakespeare...'

    SOCOM: Fireteam Bravo/Fireteam Bravo II

    *After bombing a technical:*

    Lonestar: At least we didn't put sugar in the tank. That woulda just been mean.

    *When under fire:*

    Lonestar: Whaddya'll got against Texans?!

    *In the final mission:*

    O'Rourke: Yer stronger than an entire army an' yet ye'd settle ta be pawns fer the navy?

    O'Rourke: Is this yer best choice fer gittin' ae college education?

    Transformers: Autobots/Decepticons (Nintendo DS)

    Police Helo Pilot: Dispatch, in pursuit of a... large... metal... man?

    Police Officer: Dispatch, suspect is thirty feet tall and has a metal complection.

    Police Officer: Is there a sci-fi convention in town?

    Police Helo Pilot: Dispatch we've got a... umm, ahh... What's the code for giant robot attack?

    Monster Hunter Freedom/Freedom 2/Freedom Unite

    The description for the Khezu hide reads 'Feels strange. It makes you want to rub it all over yourself.'

    John Carpenter's Vampires

    "Did you get wood off of that?"

    "Yeah... Mahogany..."

    Red Storm Rising

    "Sir, the HMS Battleaxe just asked us 'WHAT IS A RUEBEN JAMES.' What should I send back?"

    "Tell them 'At least we don't name our ships after our mothers-in-law.'"
     
  2. Brutal Legend:

    "I want you guys to squeeze tight around me, like a Rock' N' Roll sphincter, you guys know what a sphincter is?"
     
  3. Black Lagoon:

    "Amen Hallelujah and peanutbutter."
     
  4. If Elfen Lied counts...
    Lucy: "Does it hurt now?"
    Simple, twisted, end of story.
     
  5. "You are NOT certified to drink your own urine!"
     
  6. Valkyrie Profile: Lenneth

    Badrach: I don't wanna die!

    Oh wait, I'm already dead...

    ...

    I DON'T WANT TO GO TO NIFELHEIM!!!

    Badrach (when killed): Not again!!!
     
  7. Deadman Wonderland. It's filled with awesome quotes.
     
  8. Some of my favourite video game quotes come from...

    STAR WARS: REPUBLIC COMMANDO

    Boss: Did they find the data?
    Scorch: No, I hid it pretty well.
    Boss: Where, exactly?
    Scorch: Mmmm, you don't wanna know.

    Scorch: Man, this place gives me the creeps.
    Sev: Ah, Scorch... Nothing better than a jungle hunt. Hiding in the bush, putting a plasma bolt through a hostile's cranium...
    [sighs wistfully]
    Sev: Makes me feel alive.
    Scorch: Okay, now Oh-Seven's giving me the creeps.

    Boss: [sees a lightsaber] An elegant weapon for a more civilized time, eh? Well, guess what? Times have changed!

    Scorch: I think we may have to blast our way through that... And I'm *not* just saying that because I love to blow stuff up.
    Sev: Yes, you are.

    Fixer: Hold up, Squad. I'm getting a read on something big headed this way.
    Scorch: Hope it's not a spider droid.
    [A spider droid comes up from an elevator]
    Sev: Guess what? It's a spider droid.
     
  9. *why the hell not I will post once under here* well the best quote/quotes I herd was from NintendoCapriSun

    "Take a dump in the toilet"
    "Where's my Boat" *well you have to see one of his WindWaker LP's to get that one*
     
  10. MARCH 27, 2017
    LONDON, ENGLAND

    The red Aston Martin's tires shrieked as it drifted along the roundabout between two other vehicles staggered across the lanes, slipping perfectly between them and into the lane beyond. Inside the DBS V12, Jill Baker shrieked just as loudly in fright, clutching onto the edges of her seat. Behind her, Natalia Elmore swayed to and fro with the G-forces, but seemed strangely, eerily at ease with the driver's recklessly aggressive style.

    Said driver, Raven Tallwood, had a smug grin on her face as she expertly rolled the steering wheel through her slim fingers. The hot rod red vehicle responded to her gentle, urging touch like a dutiful lover, obeying her every command. The Aston Martin wove its way through traffic as if Raven were predicting exactly how each of the other drivers would react, moving with seamless motion.

    Raven idly compared the effect to how Sam seemed to weave through enemies with the same effortlessness.

    "Um, Raven?" Jill ventured uneasily, her knuckles white from where she held on for dear life in the shotgun seat. "You...actually passed your driver's exam, right?"

    The brunette easily replied, "After five tries."

    "Oh shiiiiiii --"

    It was a long few minutes before the car came to a stop at a light. Raven looked out the window at another driver, who was giving her a grumpy, irritated look at her recklessness. The brunette smirked and blew him a cheeky kiss. Meanwhile, Jill was trying very hard not to throw up.

    "I kinda wish I hadn't eaten those extra biscuits...."

    "I can teleport them out of you, if you want," Natalia offered.

    Jill blinked. "Wait, you can do that?"

    "I think so. I've never tried." The blonde shrugged. "At worst, I might teleport your stomach out of you. But you said you had an extra one...."

    A pause. Then Jill deadpanned, "Oh, ha-ha, Elmore. Since when did you develop a sense of humor? You know, I think you're just playing up the whole 'I'm so naive, I must be hot' angle for all its worth --"

    As the two friends bantered, Raven allowed herself a smile. A few weeks ago, Natalia wouldn't have known a joke if it hit her in the head. It seemed the Ivory Tower was a good idea after all....

    "...monsters in Hyde Park...."

    Raven cranked up the volume on the radio. "Quiet, you two! Something's wrong!"

    "...giants! One made of fire, the other of rock. And they're destroying everything in site. Authorities are helpless to stop them...."

    "Sound like elementals," Jill said.

    The brunette nodded "Agreed." She looked to the back seat. "Natalia, we're going to need you."

    The blonde blinked. "Of course, but...shouldn't we call Hushcobb or Specter for this?"

    "We're less than a minute outside of Hyde Park," Raven said, gunning past the red light. She dodged the other cars and made haste for the park, even as Jill screamed. "It'll take at least a few minutes for either Hushcobb or Specter -- or even the Ivory Tower -- to send anyone. We've got to help, or people are going to get hurt."

    "Sounds like you and Sam have that in common," Natalia noted.

    The brunette simply drove in silence to that comment.

    As soon as they reached the park, Raven slammed on the brakes and spun a triple doughnut, which brought the Aston Martin to a perfect parking spot between two other cars...coming in from the side.

    Raven and Natalia disembarked with a proud bearing, ready to take on the threat.

    Jill stumbled out and puked.

    "Tallwood...you're an ass...."

    "Sucks having that extra stomach, Baker," Raven quipped. Then she turned her attention to the monsters.

    They were, indeed, elementals. Big ones. The fire elemental had set a good chuck of the park to the flame, while the smaller, but wider, earth elemental's every stomp left a crater and a small quake. The fire elemental swept an arm, casting a blade of flame into a playground with an accompanying explosion. Its earthen brother ripped a tree out of the ground and hurled it into a trio of parked cars. All around, civilians panicked, screamed, and ran.

    "We need to get those people out of there," Jill said, wiping her mouth.

    "I can take care of that," Natalia offered.

    "Good idea," agreed Raven. "Jill and I will keep the elementals busy. Meet up with us once everyone's safe."

    Natalia got right to work, extending out her hands and furrowing her brows in concentration. One by one, she forcibly started teleporting people from the heat of the battle to the more open, safe space behind her.

    Meanwhile, Raven and Jill ran toward the elementals. "You get Hardrock Cafe over there; I'll get Hot Topic," Raven said.

    "You give bad guys shitty names!" Jill quipped, peeling off to engage the earth elemental.

    "Everyone's a critic...." The brunette skidded on the grass into a kneeling position, her hands pressed against the ground. She quickly traced a pair of complex runes, her fingers pushing the blades of grass just enough to make an imprint. Her alchemical writings complete, she funneled mana into the runes, which began to glow. The nimbus spread outward and, with it, the ground changed.

    Grass turned into snow and ice, spreading under the fire elemental's feet. Steam wafted off the creature's legs and it roared in pain as Raven's alchemical frost creeped up its limbs. In retaliation, the creature hurled a fireball at Raven, who rolled to the side. She felt the heat and the pressure of the fireball's impact on the ground and suddenly felt glad she thought to bring a thicker coat to wear over her flimsy dress.

    Which reminded her....

    She pulled a pair of leather gloves from the coat's inside pocket and swiftly slipped them on: her Manus Fulgurus. Sam had recognized their construction and value instantly. The gloves were a fixed alchemical spell with all the necessary materials and runes already inlaid ahead of time, her trick around the time-consuming process of alchemy. She flooded the gloves with mana; lightning crackled around her fingertips.

    "Light's out, sparky," she muttered, sending her fingers outward and launching arcs of electricity at the fire elemental. It roared as both the glove's lightning and the ground's ice struck from above and below. The great titan fell over, but instead of slamming into the ground, it broke apart into four smaller elementals about ten feet tall each. Raven groaned. "Oh, you're going to be that annoying, aren't you?"

    She raised her lightning-infused fists up defensively as the four fire elementals charged toward her.

    ---

    Jill scampered away from the lumbering stone titan, letting out yelps as its mighty fists slammed into the ground scant feet behind her. "Okay, okay, I got this, I got this," she said to herself over and over again, trying very hard to believe her own mantra.

    She clambered over a picnic table and hid under it. It wasn't going to protect her as it was, but it was going to help her in what it would become. She sent mana through her fingers and into the table, shifting its properties around. Instead of the fragility of wood, she gave it the toughness of titanium. The earth elemental's fist thudded against the tabletop, but instead of splintering, it merely echoed frightfully.

    "Okay, still alive," Jill said to herself, crawling on hands and knees toward the elemental's legs while it was busy repeatedly punching the reinforced table in an attempt to get at her. Jill laid a hand on the elemental's shin and repeated her spell. The thick limb of stone suddenly became a column of water that splashed around her. The soggy Jill scrambled out from underfoot and ran back, marveling as the gigantic titan collapsed to the ground with a mighty quake.

    Jill laughed. She couldn't believe it! She did it!

    Her victory was short-lived. A shadow eclipsed her.

    "Oh, that's...not good...."

    The earth elemental reached over with its long arm to try to squash her with an open palm. Thinking frantically, Jill gave the ground beneath her feet the consistency of a pool. She sank beneath the ground. The rocky hand slapped the water-like grass, but failed to penetrate deeply enough to get to Jill. She emerged a few feet away and climbed back to solid ground.

    Her impromptu plan actually gave her another idea. She touched the grass again, this time giving it the slushiness of quicksand. She started to sink, but the earth elemental sank faster with its greater mass. Jill shifted the ground back to something sturdier and clambered out, but by that time, the earth elemental was waist deep in the ground. It flailed helplessly.

    "That wasn't so bad...." Jill said with a relieved sigh.

    "Then you can help me back here!" Jill turned at the voice. Raven jogged toward her, eight five-foot-tall fire elementals chasing after her.

    Jill cried out, "What did you do?"

    "Blasted them apart -- literally!"

    Jill looked down. "...How the hell do you fight in heels?"

    "Not the time, Jill!"

    Behind them, the earth elemental planted its hands against the ground and pushed. Slowly, but surely, it was pulling itself free of the ground's embrace.

    "Talk about getting stuck between a rock and a hard place," Jill muttered.

    Raven threw her a look. "Puns? Now? Really?"
     
  11. [​IMG]
    "When you get to hell, tell 'em I sent you. There's a group discount."
     
  12. "Okay, that was pretty cool," Jill breathed, quite stunned by Natalia's demonstration of rapid line of sight teleportation.

    "Taking advantage of air pressure was inspired," Raven agreed, already thinking of how to use that bit of knowledge to even the increasingly unfair odds stacked against them.

    Natalia looked at Raven. "Got a plan?"

    Some distance away came the sounds of concrete ripping apart....

    The brunette nodded. "I need you to warp the air out of here, make a vacuum...."

    ...followed by the whooshing of something big, heavy, and cumbersome careening through the air....

    "...And make all the fire elementals slam back into each other." Natalia finished. "But they'll just regroup into a bigger elemental."

    "That's where Jill and I come in. All the air you warp out? I'll transmute that into water, while Jill gives it the properties of fire retardant foam. When the vacuum hits, it'll pull the elementals together -- and the foam."

    ...Distance closed foot by foot, as a piece of concrete carrying a lithe young woman hurtled ever closer....

    "What about Hard Rock Cafe?" Jill inquired. Even as she spoke, the stony giant was nearly fully rebuilt.

    ...with the sound of the woman's axe spinning between her hands as she rode the floating concrete chunk like a surfboard in the sky.

    "...I'm still working on that," Raven admitted.

    "...Great plan."

    "Can it, Baker!"

    The trio's attention snapped toward the earth elemental as they heard concrete smash into it. A large piece of road crumbled against its torso, while an axe, of all things, buried itself between some cracks of rock on its shoulder. Hanging from the wooden handle was Erika Hennessey, screaming in delight with a uproarious, "Woo-hoo! Yeah!"

    She back-flipped away from the elemental, yanking her axe free in the process, and landed on the grass. She drew her hands into fists, concentration clear on her brow, as she mentally pulled the elemental down. Its massive hands seemed to be yoked to unseen chains. Its wrists touched the grass and, despite its struggles, it could not break free from Erika's telekinetic hold.

    "'Sup guys?" the Irishwoman chirped.

    Natalia blinked in confusion. "Erika? What are you doing here?"

    "Oh, I was in the area," the psychic replied, sweat beading down her face as she fought to keep the earth elemental in check. "Found a vending machine. Got thirsty, you know? Wouldn't give me back my quarter, the little fucker. So I axed it! Got my quarter back -- and everyone else's! By the way, do they still have arcades around here? Got a lot of money to burn!"

    "That doesn't answer our question," Jill pressed. Her first impression of the mysterious psychic was one of wariness. She seemed rather reckless and bombastic, much like her friends had told her.

    "Hm? Well, I heard that a fight was going on at the park." Erika grinned through the perspiration. "Raven and Natalia know me -- I'm always down for a rumble! Anyway, who're you?"

    "Why don't you focus on keeping the Rolling Stones pinned, okay?" Raven interrupted, eyeing the elemental warily. Then she said to Natalia and Jill, "Now's our chance! Let's go!"

    Natalia wasted no time. In the blink of an eye, she teleported in continuous circles around the thirty-two smaller fire elementals, moving pockets of air out of the area to a few feet past them, surrounding the little beasts in an ever-growing ring of compressed air just waiting to be released.

    Raven and Jill ran to the edge of Natalia's circuit, the latter raising her hands high and the former kneeling to draw in the grass with her finger. Raven finished a quick runic circle, conducted mana through her, into the circle, and finally into the pockets of compressed air around the elementals. Those pockets became visible as globs of water coalescing into several rings encircling the area.

    "Its working," Raven beamed. "Go for it, Jill!"

    The other girl grunted, "Hang on, I've never...worked...on this much...stuff...before...." But soon enough, the transmuted water began to thicken and turn white as Jill gave it the properties of flame retardant foam.

    "Natalia! We're ready!" Raven shouted. "Break!"

    The blonde reappeared next to Jill and Raven. "Looks like they're all...washed up."

    As the words left her lips, the vacuum that had built around the fire elementals was suddenly filled as the foam flooded the space. The elementals themselves were pulled into one another and, before the girls' eyes, already began forming into their larger cousin. But the foam coated the creature like a clinging slime, with the hiss of extinguished flame seething into the air. The fire elemental's death throes echoed in the night.

    "One down, one to go," said Jill.

    They turned their attention to Erika, who heroically continued to pin the earth elemental with her mind alone. "Could...use...some...help...here...!" she groaned.

    "I got an idea!" Jill cried out excitedly. "I'll turn him into a superconductor -- Raven, I just need you to blast him with lightning."

    "I'll help Erika hold him down," Natalia offered, jogging up beside Erika and extending her hands. The earth elemental's struggled abruptly ceased as VAWM's potency landed on it like a mountain on its back. It fell flat against the ground, vainly trying to push itself back up.

    "You know, the last time I held a guy down under me, he didn't fight this hard," Erika quipped. "And when two pretty girls held him down? No struggling at all! Ha ha ha!"

    "She's something else," Jill commented.

    "I told you she was, er, special," Raven said tiredly. "Come on, let's finish this."

    Jill gingerly walked up to the pinned elemental and laid her hands upon it. Mana flowed from her and into it, shifting its properties, making it more receptive to electricity. She backed away, barking out, "Go for it, Raven!"

    The alchemist let out a breath and pumped as much mana into her gloves as she could. Lightning crackled wildly around her, sparking out of her gloves to incinerate grass and nearby trees. For something that big and tough, she couldn't hold back. "Fire in the hole!" she warned, unleashing the barely-contained lightning right at the elemental. It roared in agony as its transmuted physiology took in the alchemical lightning. Its stony hide glowed red, then yellow, then white as it was melted from the inside out. Raven kept going. First, its arms fell off like molten slag. Then its legs. Finally, its torso became a rapidly-cooling pile of magma on the grass.

    Raven fell to her knees, exhausted. She almost crashed onto her face, but slender arms caught her.

    Natalia.

    "We make a pretty good team, don't you think?"

    Raven smiled weakly and gave the costumed girl a thumbs-up. "Hell yeah, we do."
     
  13. "I want to have your abortion."
     
  14. Lander Crew, Star Control 2

    !!!! MAYDAY FROM SURFACE !!!!
    WE HAVE COME UNDER FIRE FROM AN ALIEN VESSEL WE FOUND HIDING ON THE SURFACE OF PLUTO! WE HAVE RETURNED FIRE, BUT OUR STUNNER CAN'T PENETRATE THE SHIP'S HULL ARMOR. CAPTAIN! THEY KILLED KOWALSKI, FRITZ, CHIN, O'DONNELL, LUIGI AND ALL THREE OF THE LIEBERMANN TRIPLETS! WE ARE INITIATING EMERGENCY LAUNCH PROCEDURES.
    ---- END OF TRANSMISSION ----
     
  15. S.T.A.L.K.E.R. Shadow of Chernobyl

    Stalker: When I was a boy three fates came to me in the form of good fairies.

    'We have a destiny for you!' they said to me.

    'Either you will become a perfect soldier or you will have brains like Einstein on steroids and the memory of an elephant.'

    Guitarist: Which did you pick?

    Stalker: Actually... I can't remember...

    Stalkers: (Laughter)

    Freedomer: I hear people talking about radiation. I've been here for ten years and I don't notice anything.

    Stoner: Definitely... Only recently the feathers on my tail have been molting more often.
     
  16. ...... Stalkers have feathers on their.... WHAT?!
     
  17. Battlefield Bad Company 2

    Overheard on UAV Operator Radio: "Hey, if you nail that bad guy, I'll get you ice cream for dinner."

    And, Reiz now presents Haggard and Sweetwater dinner theater.

    Haggard: Hey, why do you think people wear cowboy hats to war?
    Sweetwater: I don't know. The cowboys haven't gone to war in over a hundred years.
    Haggard: Nah, the Cowboys go to war every Sunday. Sometimes Monday.
     
  18. When the game of life makes you feel like quittin'
    It helps a lot if you KILL A KITTEN - Stephen Lynch
     
  19. Craig Christ. Nuff said.
     
  20. Since we're quoting Stephen Lynch...

    "Maybe I can't walk on H2o, But
    I GOT HYDROPONIC SHIT THAT ME N' JUDAS GROW!"

    *A bunch of white children looking about in wonder in a gun shop, two kids holding handguns, to the caption:*
    "America....Fuck yeah"

    Anonymous