- Posting Speed
- Speed of Light
- Writing Levels
- Douche
- Preferred Character Gender
- No Preferences

It is the Asmo-Cake.
It is beauty and horror, all that is grotesque and splendorous in man. A bloated king atop his silver throne, fat with the promises of jam and butter icing. With its 28-pronged crown of elemental colour it will bring you sweetest pleasure and exquisite agony, at once your saviour and your spongey damnation.

Invoke not its wrath, nor bend your ear to its whispered seductions. For in the honeycomb chambers of its baked flesh it shall turn the world full-circle...
... and it shall be you whom is devoured.