Behavior Flags

[Kitti]

What are some red flags for you when it comes to people?

What about green (positive) flags?​

 

[Dipper]

Not letting a topic drop (you know, when people go on and on about something someone else did, which in the long term isn't that big of a deal). Pestering someone. The obvious negative stuff.

Positives are good sportsmanship. Honestly, I'm kind of predictable when it comes to these things. Overall friendliness-- I can't distrust or hate people who are nice.

 

[Aero Blue]

Red Flags: If my first interaction with you involves you complaining about something (more importantly, someone), you're probably problematic. If you overshare like a madman and it's not at least one of those "I'm on the internet I don't care" cases, you're just mega super weird. If you can't introduce yourself to me or shake my hand without having a facial expression that looks like someone pooped in your mouth, unno.

Other red flags are like; littering, not holding the door open for someone right behind them, just basic breaches in manners.

Green Flags:

- Being kind to strangers (wait staff is an easy chance to observe).
- Asks questions about you, lets you have an actual part in conversations.
- A genuine smile.
- And, depending on how they do it, a light touch or a friendly moniker ('buddy') when they address you can either be a red flag or a green flag.

 

[Spekkun]

Green flags for me are friendly people, of course! :D people who greet, smile and, heck even as long as they just aren't rude that's a green flag to me. Honestly, there are so many green flags... xD

As for red flags, I have to agree with Dipper. Not dropping a topic, especially when it's obvious it makes others uncomfortable or is a sensitive subject. Or actively seeking to get a negative reaction out of people, saying intentionally sensitive things because they find it funny >.>.

 

[Joan]

Red flags, in both the digital and physical realms, include oversharing without an observable reason, refusing to drop a topic, not understanding that some types of humor are acceptable and some are offensive, not being able to take a joke, saying weird stuff completely out of the blue with no discernible reason, and using harsh language when attempting to make a point.
Red flags exclusive to the physical world are facial expressions, voice cadence, body language, etc.
Red flags exclusive to the digital world include manner of typing and lack of reading comprehension.

Green flags anywhere include taking the time to actually get to know somebody, expressing sympathy when things get bad, being willing to have your back...just general kindness. Also having a good understanding of boundaries and being accepting of their mistakes and willing to be better.

 

[Shiri]

Green Flags:
I like understanding and chill people. We can agree to disagree and that's a beautiful thing. Bonus if the person can weigh both sides of an argument. I like people who respect personal space and basic manners. I also like people with great memories, because mine is basically shot at this point. I'm also drawn to charismatic people. It's also a great feeling when you can share the love of a fandom with someone.

Red Flags:
Any behavior that registers as stalkery to me, because well - life happened and those behaviors make me want to hide in a hole and never come out. Hence I have a very negative reaction to clingy behaviors. Judgy people stroke me the wrong way. Similarly I hate it when people pretend to know what I'm thinking/feeling. That's the easiest way to make me angry.

 

[Reina]

This was my immediate first thought upon reading the title of this thread

 

[Kitti]

Red flag: Somehow, in all their stories about bad things happening, there was never anything even a little their fault. Hmm.

Green flag: Constructive (criticism or praise) of someone else's efforts. Not only are constructive criticism and praise more helpful, it shows thoughtfulness. You actually paid attention and aren't just paying it lip service "yeah that's nice" or pooping on it "that sucked".

 

[Nemopedia]

Is Kitti trying to hack into the instant friendship code? :D

share to me your findings

Green flag: Open attitude (open for conversations, involves others, is involving...) are green flags for me. Knowing how to joke, not all too stern, someone who shows that they are happy to be around.

That's for the first impression. Other things that can make me notice others in a positive light is through lots and lots of witty remarks.

And on a more superficial level. By association. If people I like like the person then chances are likely I'm also going to like them even before actually knowing them. I try not to let it work the other way around, of course. However, if it puts a stranger in an advantage? :D

Red flag: Acting like the world owes them. Super edgy, bitter and closed attitude. It ain't cool, bro!

Also, I usually get really creeped out when people are (overly) generous with compliments. Double points if someone litters around compliments in their speech/message whatever in private (such as the PMs) to me. Just. I'm onto you. o_o

Another red flag is when they are acting real close and personal with me sooner than I'm comfortable. Maybe it is my reserved nature, but it is another way to ring my alarms.

 

[Astoria]

When they have a totally weeb'd out avatar.

Oh wait.

 

[Arren]

Green Flag:
Empathy without any sort of judgement. Helpful and kind. Polite, I was raised to say thank you if someone is doing something for me.

Red Flags:
Eager to indulge in gossip. Offering their whole life story in three minutes of meeting. Dropping the friend word too easy and often. Opinionated to the point no one else's opinion matters.

 

[Pahn]

Green flag: likes to make obscene jokes, isn't afraid to laugh at themselves and them having a touch of schadenfreude means we will likely be friends. Laughing at the mishaps of other people is one of life's simple joys. Humility when it comes to compliments / gifts, since I'm someone who likes to fluff other people's egos, if they become all weird and stiff when I compliment them, that'll be awkward #forever.

Red flags: overly nice people. Seriously. People are who are TOO nice and friendly, I instantly distrust them. Someone who refuses to gossip (by gossip I mean talking about things, not being mean or causing drama, that is a big difference) is also problematic, do you mean you keep all those negative thoughts about people in your head and then never show your true colours?? That's weird to me. Other red flags are people who complain about their situations yet never do anything to fix them, this for me is someone who is lazy or unable to take control of their life and it annoys me LOL. Another red flag are people who always try to one-up others on their misfortunes, like ok I get that breaking your leg is worst that someone spraining their ankle, but come on, STFU.

tl;dr Nice people are instant red flags, funny assholes are instant green flags.

 

[Hecatoncheires]

If you open stories and statements with "AS AN X..." then yeah, we probably gonna fight.

 

[Kitti]

If you open stories and statements with "AS AN X..." then yeah, we probably gonna fight.

AS AN X-MAN, fite me boi

 

[Hecatoncheires]

I WILL SLAP THE BITCH OUT OF YOU, KITTY PRYDE, SO HARD YOU'LL START MISSING THAT DAYS OF FUTURE PAST TIME LINE.

 

[Greenie]

Red flags
-Never taking blame and dishing it out instead
-Making mountains out of molehills
-Intolerant folk
-Complaining yet not working to fix the problem
-Nosy people
-People who act as if they know it all.

Green flags
- Taking the time to listen
- Funny people
-People who know when to let things go

 

[FieryCold]

Someone saying they're a "nice guy/girl" is a major red flag for me. :P People like this are usually the opposite in my experience but just lack the introspection to acknowledge their own shortcomings.

 

[Starlighter]

Hmmm. Some major reds would be:

-People who try something once and automatically become an expert
-A person as a customer being rude to an employee - particularly over things that the employee can't even control
-When I ask someone a direct, simple question, and they respond in a way that doesn't even remotely answer it
-Automatically assuming that something someone does is because they're a bad person, rather than taking the time to consider that maybe their circumstances play a part beyond their control
-People who insist on doing everything themselves because 'no one else can do it right'


As for green flags....
-When someone makes a genuine compliment
-Being able to agree to disagree without hard feelings
-When someone can laugh at themselves for doing something dumb
-Having a good sense of humour and knowing how to take a joke

 

[Tarieles]

Aw man this is making feel bad because I'm a massive over-sharer lol

Red Flags: Rude to wait staff, not tipping, rude to customer service in general, very slobby and messy, apathetic, intense narcissism, endlessly bullying someone they deem as their "friend" and brushing it off as harmless teasing, not empathetic or sympathetic in any way, if they identify as too far to the left or right of the political spectrum, HUGE party person (like getting hammered nightly/drugs are super common/go to clubs all the time), too outgoing and "nice", negligent about others safety.

If a person can't run basic household items by the time they are 25, I'll probably steer clear unless there's a good reason. Being rich and momma or maid doing everything for you isn't a good reason; Being homeless or never owning said appliance is. Someone not having a job by that age (outside of good reason) also gives me a red flag because I question their ability to cooperate.

Also if they have dreams of ruling the world. Don't ask.

A very specific one of mine is in regards to mental illness. When someone says "well I have X illness and it doesn't effect me that way so you're wrong." Or in response to me saying how something is hard for me because of mental illness: "Well I have really bad depression/anxiety/etc. too, probably worse than yours, so if I can do this thing then you can do it." It's happened enough times, and I just wanna smack people when I hear it.

PASSIVE AGGRESSIVENESS. Please don't give the silent treatment, please actually talk about problems.

So many more but I'm boring you guys enough. These are some of the bigger ones.

Green Flags: Helpful to strangers, not afraid to speak up, good listener (to listen to my oversharing lol), patient and doesn't rush anyone, doesn't judge small quirks and flaws harshly, accepts gifts with grace, able to debate without getting angry and yelling (I love debates, it's kind of what I go to college for), being able to understand sarcasm, not yelling at me when I feel the need to touch a thing because the texture looks amazing (barring things that might hurt me or I'd get in trouble for, but I usually know not to touch those things), correcting when someone pronounces something the wrong way.

A big thing for me personally is someone asking if I've done a needed thing. If you ask me if I've eaten or if I've drank any water, I'll probs trust you more. Feels good that someone is looking out for me and cares enough about my wellbeing. Also because sometimes I forget to eat and they remind me to not die of starvation. 8D

TL;DR wow I have a lot of flags enjoy the novel

 

[GrunkleLogic]

Red Flags

• When people ask me too many personal questions
• People who want to always touch, uses their hands to talk
• Don't understand personal space
• When someone is overly sarcastic (everything they say is a retort)
• Aggressive/Dismissive behaviour; if you constantly roll your eyes when you disagree with something
• If you are loud
• I hear you gossip about someone else. You are not trustworthy to me if you do this.

Green Flags

You leave me alone.