Before the Looking Glass

Jason just hugged her tighter, rubbing her back gently and he felt her fighting back the urge to cry in his arms. "It's okay rue. You can cry, I'm here. You don't need to hide how much it hurts, I know."
 
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Forcing her breaths to stay shallow, Jason tightened his grip and rubbed her back. Just as she was about to swallow down all her tears for later, he said her name and she gave up. He knew what it was like. Stuff like this is bound to happen more than once. It's inevitable, so she cried. With a whimper, her tears fell and fell and wet his shirt. She tried to be quiet, and as long as she held him tight, she would be. As long as Jason was around, she'd be alright.
 
Jason said nothing. He only continued to hold her and kissed the top of her forehead gently, letting her cry it out into his chest. His mind empty save for one thing.

'Rue'


Jason said nothing. He only continued to hold her, his mind united with the singular desire to offer some comfort to the girl in his arms. The only one he'd managed to save. The only one he had left.
 
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She felt him kiss the top of her head and tensed up for a moment, not out of nervousness or something like that, but out of shock or confusion. Why did he..?

It took a little while, but eventually her crying died down to little hiccups and then silent breaths while she listened to his heartbeats and tried to ignore the churning feeling in her stomach. She wanted to ask if this is how it would always be, for years they would apparently have to stay this way, but Rue couldn't imagine staying stagnant and scared for years. The future was mysterious now and she didn't like it. Is this the cost of freedom?

"Thanks.." She whispered, then pulled away softly. "We..should probably head back, huh?" She sniffled, and wiped the last tears away from her face with a deep breath. "Sorry about your shirt."
 
Jason smiled softly at her. "yeah, Let's go home. And don't worry about this. It's nothing a quick run through the washer won't sort out."

He took her by the hand and walked away with her. He supposed he could hold back on his dream of tearing down Brewster for now. He still needed to make sure he could take care of this one first.
 
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Rue gave him a tiny smile back. Were these happening more often or?
Her hand tightened in his while her other hand held her book to her chest. She didn't want to lose a library book. "Mkay...so what kind of junk food did you get?"
You know, chocolate doesn't sound so bad right now. Especially the kind that isn't cheap knockoff. She couldn't remember what the 'real stuff' tasted like, but she knew it would be good.
 
He chuckled lightly. neither of them knew the layout of the store yet so when they'd gotten here they had split the shopping list between them and has wandered around the aisles separately, Jason had gotten to pick out all the junk food himself. "Well, I didn't know what you'd be in the mood for tonight but since i knew we'd be watching a movie i grabbed us a box of pop corn bags, some chips and cream cheese dip, and a bunch of different chocolate bars since i could remember what your favorite was. I also got us a bag of licorice but to be totally honest that was mostly for me, I used to be totally addicted to the stuff as a kid and was feeling nostalgic. I also bought us some ice cream for later."

He said everything lightly and with a smile. Even if he couldn't make the nightmares disappear, he still wanted to let rue genuinely look forward to having one good night now that they were escaped. Jason had the distinct impression the poor girl still hadn't had her 'this is a good thing' moment of revaluation and the survivor's guilt was still outweighing the feeling of finally being free.
 
What she's in the mood for? Anything that isn't synthetic porkchop, that's what! Chocolate sounded fun, but he couldn't remember her favrite because she never had a favorite. That stuff was too rare for her to choose one she really liked. A brief picture of herself taking a bite out of every chocolate bar he bought and finally choosing the best one showed up in her head, but luckily she could tell between little imaginings and visions. Thankfully, this was the former and it made her smile a little bit.

"Wow. I hope we don't end up eating it all tonight...but what flavor ice cream is it?" She wondered, head tilted as they walked out of the store with their bags.
 
"Oh, I got two kinds." he replied with a smile "One is 'Scottish Caramel Crisp Swirl' and the other was 'Black Velvet Cherry'. Man is it just me or do ice cream companies have to stop making their flavors sounds so... suggestive? anyways, i figure you were bound to like one or the other."
 
Rue rolled her eyes and snorted. Really? "What could be so suggestive about Caramel Crisp swirl?" She had yet to notice that they were still holding hands and it felt totally okay. A little nice even.
 
He laughed lightly at her remark as they were reaching the first floor now. "Well, the name isn't that bad by itself, but writing it in cursive on the packaging and setting the ice cream on a fireplace backdrop with mostly red hues in the packaging gives the whole thing a lot more sensuality than ice cream should be treated with"
 
His words made her laugh for a few seconds as they walked into the red door and up the stairs. Wow..he made her laugh. It was a soft sound, but joyful. How long has it been since that happened? Months? years? Well done, Jason..I had nearly forgotten what my own laugh sounded like. Is that pathetic or what?
"...Maybe." She smiled, got to the second floor and stepped aside so he could open the door back...Can I really call this home? Have I ever...had a home?
Rue bit her lip, a bit pensive now as she thought about it. Her whole life was spent first in a hospital, then an orphanage, and then Brewster...She never had a home...So she never knew what a home was supposed to feel like..

"Hey Jason...do you...would you um, call this home? Is it too temporary for the title or..Do you know what a home is like?" She wondered. He knew she was an orphan at least... should she have even asked? The question didn't make her sad, but she probably shouldn't have changed the mood.
 
Jason had already started putting the shopping bags on the kitchen table when she asked her question. He turned to her and gave her a soft smile, thinking fro a moment before answering.

"Well, someone once told me that your home is wherever your family is, and your family is anyone your heart would miss if they decided to leave your life for any reason. After everything we've been through, you're more than just a friend or even a comrade, as far as I'm concerned you're family to me. So for me this is home."

"Well hey there romeo, aren't you sounding smooth all of a sudden."

"Oh shut up Jack, you know as well as I do that Shine was the one who told us that."

"I also know we've never repeated those words to anyone before."

"... well, this is the first time I've felt i had family besides you..."

"Jason... I know you really do want to help Rue. Just remember what those books taught us. Right now we're her everything, the only person in the world she can trust. Sooner or later she'll mistake that feeling for-"

"I know."

"..."

"I've got this under control jack... trust me."
 
She appreciated the fact that he put thought into it and didn't decide to pity her or something. His answer was much better than she expected. She wondered who had told him that. Or if he had real blood related family out there somewhere in the world.

"Well then you're my family too, Jason. By those standards...I guess this is my home too." She smiled a little and wondered what other homes he'd had. But then...oh.."But..if..if our hearts miss those that..that are still in Brew...then wouldn't they be family too? Did you ever consider Brewster your home?"

Hmm...maybe Chess was right. Curiosity could do a lot of damage sometimes..
 
Jason was caught unawares by the second question. he had never really thought about it that way, but what she said did make sense.

"Well... yeah, I guess it was. It was a broken home for sure, but it;s where we met all our friends and where we became family. Brewster might have tried to use and abuse us, but if i was given the option of living in a world where I'd never gone to Brewster in the first place, i don;t think i would take it. I wouldn't want to give up on the connection i made with you and everyone else just for that. But you know, the fact that we're here and our friends aren't doesn't mean that right now our home is back in Brewster. It just means that our new home is here, and most of our friends haven't made their way over yet. even if we have to leave this apartment eventually, as long as we stick together we'll still be a home for our friends to come back to when they finally escape, either by themselves or when we go rescue them."
 
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Rue listened closely to his words and remembered all over again why he was the leader all this time. She had never doubted him and these words only confirmed that her faith in him was never ill-founded. Like Jason, Rue thought about it and like him, she would much rather have gone to Brew than stayed in the orphanage. She would much rather have met Jason than not.

And if she was to be a home for the others, she would be. As long as they stick together, there's still hope. And with that spark lit, Rue stepped forward and hugged him tight, eyes closed, cheeks pink. She nodded against his chest with a smile, for words would not suffice.
 
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It was weird, he had had no issue initiating displays of affection before, but the moment that she was teh one to hug him instead, he felt himself tense up slightly and was suddenly very thankful for the height difference since he knew if rue looked up right now he'd be blushing as well. Still, it's not like he hated it either so when the moment of surprise passed he smiled and just hugged her back. Thinking about psychology books could wait till later, right now he just wanted to enjoy the moment in silence
 
She felt him tense up and smiled wider, remembering how she had done the same thing when he had hugged her. Was he as shy as she was? Rue sighed peacefully when she felt his arms around her again. She could get used to this. When she hadn't before, she enjoyed it and let the hug linger for a little bit. If she could have a good day knowing that many of her fri--family members are locked up or dead, today would be the first of those.
So then Rue pulled away very gently and smiled up at him. "Thank you..for..well, everything." She smiled shyly and folded her hands in front of her to keep from fidgeting with them.
 
Jason wanted to be all cool and just give her a comforting, reassuring smile, but instead just blushed more vividly when she smiled at him and ended up avoiding her gaze as he stammered out an awkward "Y-yeah, don't mention it. You've helped me out a lot too."

There was a short half-beat filled with a familiar awkward silence for Jason and he quickly decided to change teh subject. "A-anyways, we shoudl probably pt all of this away and go set up the movie huh?" he said while turning away and starting to sort through their shopping bags.


"Man, it is not fair how girls can just turn up the cuteness out of nowhere like that."

"Yeah, you;re telling me."
 
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Well the roles reversed slightly, huh? She hadn't seen the awkwardly shy side of Jason in awhile actually and it made her smile again. He makes her smile and it's not hard to see that she's become more comfortable around him than she ever had been around anyone, which was an important realization for her. She trusted him and if that trust was ever broken, she wasn't sure she'd survive it.

Before she could continue on that train of though though, Jason changed the subject, which she was grateful for. So she just gave him an "Mhm." and put the ice cream in the freezer. Having had her first glimpse of the packaging, maybe she did agree with Jason. It was strange for a simple dairy treat was portrayed so...sensually? Is that the right word? Weird.
"Okay.. so what movie are we watching?"
 
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