Because of you. (MxM) (lawkheart)

  • Thread starter ♣CrimsonParadiso♣
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He wasn't sure how much time had passed since he laid down on the couch but when his brother spoke he almost jumped from the couch. His heart raced a little bit but made sure that it didn't show on his face. He slowly turned his attention towards his brother wondering what he was talking about and as he saw the basement door open his heart sank even more. "N-n-no" Travis' brows knitted together. Had he actually stuttered, that hadn't happened since he was a child and his 'father' would drag him down to that basement, every last step smacking into his face as his pants were practically ripped off on the way down. "I'm no thank you. I don't go down there" he cleared his throat after gathering his thoughts and shoving his memories back inside a dark corner of his mind. Travis was sure that Kaleb could see the color drain from his face but he didn't care, all he wanted to do was get away from the open door to that place. "I'm just gonna go to bed" he then told him not realizing that he was having a decent conversation with his brother, he was a little jumpy from even seeing the door to that place open. Travis walked past his brother and that horrid door and straight to his room as if his 'father' was right behind him and was going to beat him again.
 
Kaleb watched him and knew that look. He had the same look as a child. He would be dragged down there as well, into their fathers locked room and he would rape him over and over again in that room. He knew this but he had become so numb by all of it that he just didn't care anymore. He walked down and grabbed a movie before he decided it would be best to just go upstairs and leave the room alone. He closed the door and sat on the sofa. He was playing his favorite movie as a kid, the nightmare before christmas. He watched it when he felt sad, and that was all the time now. He moved his bag to their mothers bedroom and left it in there. He went back down and continued to watch the movie, drinking a beer and eating some chips.
 
Travis quickly shut his bedroom door and propped his bags against the door, then he sat on the bed. His breath was ragged now as he stared at the door, he had a feeling that any moment his 'father' would come through that door screaming at him for something or another. But as the seconds ticked by no one came through that door. How he wished there was a lock on the door 'maybe I should buy one tomorrow' Travis thought to himself as his heart slowed down. When it was almost back together he walked over to his bag and rummaged through it till he found his prize. When he pulled his hand back there was an ipod in it. Something that had saved him on many nights, the one thing that would help after a beating from his 'father' or being forced to have sex with him. His mother had gotten this little device for him and told him to hide it and he did. That or his 'father' didn't care that he had it and left it alone.

Travis walked back over to the bed after placing the earbuds in his ears and laid down on the bed. His eyes zoned out on the ceiling as his music started to play. He could already feel his body starting to relax and it made him realize just how tired he was. It wasn't long before he was softly snoring away in his sleep to dreams of bloody hallways and echoed screams.
 
When Travis woke the next day, Kaleb was in the kitchen, a bunch of papers all over the place. He was working like he should have been doing while at home. It had already begun to snow outside and Kaleb had turned on the heater so that the wouldn't be freezing. He had his own headphones on as he worked and signed, or read through a paper and have to edit something. He looked like he hadn't slept as he worked and got everything done. He wasn't good with the night. He could only sleep if he got extremely wasted and even then sometimes he can't go to sleep. He sighed in his tired state and took off his head phones and grabbed his phone, he called his assistant and told her all the changes that had to be made and that he would fax all the paper work later that day.
 
Morning was rather painful for Travis, he had been dreaming something nice for once but that soon ended as he rolled off his bed and hit the floor on his bad shoulder. He squeaked quietly and then opened his eyes, he half expected his 'father' to be standing there being the one responsible for him falling out of bed but there was nothing there but bright rays of sun. Travis rubbed his eyes to clear them of sleep and then pulled his headphones out of his ears. The device had shut its self off sometime in the night and he just left it on the floor next to him.

When he was more awake Travis got to his feet and walked over to his bags that were still propped up against the door and started to go through them. There really wasn't anything that he wanted to wear at the moment so he just pushed them away from the door and walked out of the room. First thing on his agenda, coffee. Travis wandered into the kitchen still a bit drowsy and over to the coffee pot, thankfully there was already a pot made and he grabbed a cup out of the cabinet and quickly poured himself a cup. He sipped at the scalding coffee as he looked out the window to the absent garden once more.
 
Kaleb had gone back to the corner store and was just coming home. He had somethings with him and he planned on making breakfast. When he saw Travis standing there he sighed to himself as he set the bags on the table. "Morning.... I'm making breakfast if you want anything specific," he said softly to Travis. He had all his stuff back in his bag on the floor near the chair he had been sitting in. He took out the eggs, bacon, pancake batter, milk and orange juice onto the table. He wanted to cook, it helped him calm down. His phone went off and he sighed picking it up. It was an investor. "Yes sir... thank you for the condolences... Okay.... thank you for your consideration sir.... Yes I will have Isabel email you the blue prints and fax you the signed papers by the end of the day," he said before he said goodbye.
 
Travis had to contain himself when he heard his brothers voice once more, he really needed to stop spacing out. He was living with someone once more and it was harder to get use to again. He was used to the silence of his apartment or the meowing of a cat. However this time he was able to keep himself from jumping through the ceiling and instead turned to face his brother when he mentioned breakfast. Travis stomach growled a little bit but he really didn't care to have anything eat that was prepared by his brother. His coffee should hold him till later in the day and then he would just go out and get something quick to eat. Waiting for Kaleb to finish with his call he looked him over, his brother had changed quiet a bit and then he looked down at himself. Travis' head snapped up when he heard the call finish "I'm not hungry" he told his brother and finished off his coffee only to turn around and pour himself another cup "You don't have to worry about feeding me, I can do that on my own. How ever rarely I eat" Travis finished off his statement and left the kitchen. Oh how he wished that he had back to back shifts at work or something just so he would have to be in this house with that guy.
 
Kaleb looked at Travis and just sighed as he took out stuff to cook with. He began cooking and made all the food he'd want for that morning, including some food for his brother. He knew his brother was hungry and he would leave the food wrapped up on the counter, for him to eat if he wanted. He sighed to himself before he began eating. He finished quickly and finished cleaning everything. He was so tired of this crap. He heard a meow and he saw a black cat walk up to him. He looked at the cat and smiled softly at the cat as it rubbed against his leg before meowing and walking away back upstairs.
 
He was halfway up the stairs before he stopped and remembered that he hadn't fed Lolita yet. With a heavy sigh he turned back around and headed back to the kitchen. His breath caught in his throat when he smelled the food but he took a deep breath and walked into the kitchen. Travis walked over to the pantry and pulled out the back of cat food and scooped out a decent sized cup of food. Pouring it into the cup Lolita came bolting into the kitchen and skidded to a stop near her bowl "Sorry I forgot little one" Travis patted her head a little bit and she meowed at him. Travis got to his feet and looked over at his brother, the food smelled really good but he wasn't about to go back on what he said earlier.

Lucky for Travis his phone went off right there and he quickly pulled it out of his back pocket "Hello?" He questioned and then heard his boss on the other side. "Alright I understand..." Travis replied but his boss was thanking him more "It's not a problem, it's not like I have anything going on right now I don't mind coming" he told him and tried to get him to stop thanking him and apologizing to Travis for calling him "So about 8 before the doors open?" Travis questioned and his boss confirmed it and he hung up. "Um...that was...my boss...yea" Travis tried to tell his brother and then just left the kitchen to go get cleaned up and everything ready for going to work tonight.
 
"Okay... You really should eat something before you leave for work. You can hate me all you want but food is food and your stomach was growling," he said to Travis. He had an extra plate ready and had already put food onto it to put into the fridge for later. He had finished cooking and begun to clean what he had dirtied. He set the plate of still warm food onto the table while he cleaned the counter. He had another pot of coffee brewing since he still had not slept and he was tired and he had to work.
 
Travis glared at the wall that was meant for his brother but he wasn't in the kitchen at the time, he didn't respond as he made his way to the top of the stairs. He didn't know why his brother didn't get it, he would eat when he was hungry. So what if his stomach had growled, that didn't always mean he was hungry. But the smell of that food did seem really inviting. Travis pushed his way into his room and remembered that he would have to ask his brother at least one more time to change the bandage on his shoulder just to make sure that it was clean and not getting infected. He finally chose an outfit to wear tonight thought it wasn't anything fancy since he worked in a bar. He did however put on what looked to be brand new jeans and a clean t-shirt but he slipped on some worn out sneakers on. It wasn't a good idea to wear nice clothes to a bar because they almost always got ruin.

After Travis was done with that he made his way back downstairs and into the kitchen, just to end the what could be a horrible argument Travis grabbed a piece of toast off the plate "happy? I'm eating something" he said with more of snarl in his voice and then he turned heading for the door "Don't wait up. I won't be home anytime soon" he called over his shoulder as he grabbed his coat from the entrance closet and his keys off the front table. With that said and out of the way Travis jogged away from the house.
 
Kaleb just sighed and put the rest of the food in the fridge. He wished he could just tell Travis what had happened to make him to leave and why he couldn't take Travis with him. He finished cleaning up and then he went back to working. He got bored and got up, looking about, checking all the hiding places he remembered and finding new ones. He eventually made it up to the attic. He looked around, never being up there when he found another door. He opened it and found a clean and very small desk and chair along with many books. He grabbed all the books and brought them downstairs to the kitchen. He looked through the first one and what he read terrified him. All the books were his fathers journals and he had written and describbed all the times he had beaten them or raped them. He skipped through the books until he found the one that was the year he had left. He knew what had happened but reading it made him start to cry silently. He spent hours reading the books and he even threw up at one point because of how disgusting his father was. He left the book open, the one the described how his father had found Kaleb and forced him to sell himself for money. It was also the same time where their father stopped touching Travis sexually.
 
Travis walked down the sidewalk towards downtown though his steps felt more like stomps, he was mad but not enough to be acting like a child. He just couldn't get out of his head that his brother was trying to be nice to him. After all those years of fending for himself and those near death points with his step-father, Travis still couldn't see anything else but his brothers back to him as he left the house for good this time. "Stop it! Stop thinking about that!" He chastised himself as he came to a stop light crosswalk. A few people looked at him funny but he just ignore them, he was used to getting stared at so it didn't bother him like it had when he was a kid. Those eyes that questioned but never helped and those hands that wanted to sooth but only hurt in the end. No one knew what really went on in Travis' head or what had happened because no one would believe him...his mind flashed with a name and he knew it was the one person who knew exactly how he felt. "NO!" He called and a few people rushed across the intersection when they could. Travis was not going to start running to his brother because he couldn't deal with his own thoughts, Kaleb didn't care for him in reality and that was made a fact when he turned his back on Travis.

It was late by the time Travis got to his work, he really didn't want to take a taxi though knew he should of but the walk helped to calm himself down before he was going to handle customers. Travis walked through the back door of the bar and his boss ran up to him. "There's an early spike of customers and I have no idea why but thank you for coming in" he almost screamed out and Travis just chuckled. He hung his coat on the rack and slicked his hair back before going out on the floor and behind one of the bars. He immediately started tending to customers all the while filling drink orders for the shot girls to pick up.
 
When Travis came home, Kaleb was sleeping in his bedroom, the books still out and open. Travis's cat was laying on one of the books, opened to the page where their father wrote about how much money he was making with the deal he had made with Kaleb. That if he stopped raping Travis, Kaleb would let him pimp him out for money. The dates were about the same as around the time, their father did stop raping Travis, the beatings were less but still a few times a week, but their father kept his promise while Kaleb kept his and let himself be used. Kaleb stopped once, he found out Travis had left home.
 
After things had settled down at the bar Travis grabbed an apron and put it on. Then he grabbed a bus-bucket and started to walk around the bar picking up empty bottles and glasses along with plates and bowls. This was part of the night on his normal days of work that he liked, things would slow down and he could clean up while listening to music. But seeing the spike in sales he figured that this wasn't going to be the last rush of the night. No matter he still wanted to clean up the place before the next rush. As he walked throughout the bar cleaning up he walked over to the pool table area and stopped. Travis remembered that he used to come here and play pool for a few hours just to get away from his father, it was the best time that he had growing up. He became good friends with the owner and was allowed to even stay well into the night even though he was underage, the condition was that he couldn't order anything to drink, not even soda and he wasn't supposed to talk to any of the customers if he could help it. They were some odd requests but to maintain a place of safety he followed those rules, it wasn't like he wasn't used to rules and these ones were easier to follow. Once Travis snapped out of his daze from someone calling to him telling him to take a break, he walked to the back and placed the dishes in the sink.

After getting back from his break Travis went directly behind the bar as the next rush of customers came in, he was thankful that he was busy that way he didn't have time to think about his brother being there. But as the rush died down just as quickly as it came Travis' mind started back up once again. "Hey Travis, every things pretty much finished up. You can head home if you like" his boss called to him as he walked up and turned off their open sign. Travis turned around and looked out at the bar, there was still some cleaning to be done and to put the chairs up not to mention the dishes. He shrugged his shoulders not really wanting to go home just yet. "I'll close up tonight. You can go on home to your wife" his boss looked at him funny. "Are you sure?" He asked before he headed to his office "Yea, I'm sure she's dieing to spend time with you" "Very true. Thanks Travis, I owe you" he said and grabbed his coat heading out the door.

Travis locked the door behind his boss and then turned to the empty and dirty bar. "No, thank you" he said to himself and started cleaning up all the trash and placing the chairs on the tables as he went by. He was trying to run through everything in his head that he could say to his brother or do for his brother but he would always come up with trying to piss him off. It was kind of like habit, he wanted to do all the things he could to his brother that he did to him or at least get even and make his brother feel as he did now. Travis took one more look around the bar and was satisfied at how clean it was and made his way back to the bar to get started on all the glasses. It was nearing 4 and he still had a pile of dishes to do 'Well no sleeping for me' he thought to himself and turned up the music in the bar so that he wouldn't fall asleep.

By the time Travis finished up with his work it was already five in the morning. He yawned once again on his walk home and was glad that his temporary residence wasn't that far from his work, unless he was thinking too much which resulted in him taking forever to get to his job. He walked up to the front door and unlocked it, Lolita was there at the door to greet him with a soft meow. He leaned down and petted the top of her head and moved on into the kitchen. Travis flicked on the light and walked over to the coffee pot, it was going to take a lot of caffeine to keep him awake today cause going to bed right now would only result in him sleeping away the day. He sat down at the bar and watched the coffee machine brew though he knew doing that didn't make it go any faster "Meow" he looked down and his cat was there at his feet so he picked her up and placed her on his lap, his eyes wandered about the room wondering if his brother was asleep or just out of the house. Though that thought only lasted a few seconds when his eyes landed on something, Travis carefully placed Lolita back down on the floor and walked over to the small table in the kitchen.

Travis ran a hand over the book and noticed that there was some dust on the book and then his eyes wandered over the words, each sentence that he read, he could feel his blood start to boil. After reading only a few pages Travis chucked the book down the hallway and was rewarded with a pleasant thud "Asshole" he screamed not realizing how loud he actually was and by this time Lolita had bolted out of the kitchen. Travis was seething, how could any man document how sick he was?
 
Kaleb woke to the loud curse and he bolted awake and ran to the door. He thought his father was doing something, but he realized that it had been his brother. He yawned and got up. He walked down to the kitchen and looked at Travis. He didn't have his shirt on, and there were so many scars on his skin, there were initials carved into his flesh, some newer then others by a few years. Kaleb noticed that the book had been thrown and he looked at it, picking it up. "I kept them out to see if you wanted to burn them last night but you didn't come home, so I went to sleep," he said softly. He turned away from Travis and went to the fridge, pulling out somethings to cook and to eat.

His back looked worse then his front. He looked like he had been through hell after leaving and who wouldn't have. With the people that his father pimped him out too it was a miracle he was a live. He had left the book open on the night he had made the deal with his father about him not touching Travis sexually. He didn't know if Travis cared or not.
 
Travis was still in a daze as his brother came down, his hands were clenched into fists at his side and he felt like punching something. Oh how he wished his stepfather was still alive, there were so many things that he wanted to do to that man. It took a few more minutes for Travis to snap out of it and the word burn got his attention. "I'd rather have not known about them" he hissed through clenched teeth, ok so maybe he wasn't completely fine yet. All that he read made his insides turn even more not to mention the fact that his brother had kept this from him and Travis began hating himself for the way that he felt about his brother. He ran a hand through his hair to straighten out his mind a little more and then turned his sights onto his brother. Though that didn't last long as his eyes saw every bit of abuse on him, that made him cringe a little as he pulled his own clothing tighter around him. With scars like those he was sure that his brother would understand if he walked around without a shirt.

Travis was finally able to get his head back some and walked over to the table to sit down, at this point he felt like collapsing and chose to sit before that happened. "I was working and I normally don't get off till early morning." Travis explained to him and set his sights on Kaleb's back once more "Why didn't you say anything?!" This time he hissed rather loudly, not caring to hide his fuming anger.
 
Kaleb looked at him and looked at how angry he was. Kaleb stayed put before Travis finally sat down. He went to the stove and he pulled out the things he would need to cook. He stopped moving when he heard Travis's hissed question. He looked back at him and looked down. "Father's condition was that had to never speak to you or even see you if he was going to stop raping you.... I wanted to tell you... I wanted to take you away from this hell... but I couldn't...." he said softly, his eyes looking down. He remembered the first night, when he heard Travis crying in the basement. Once his dad let Travis go Kaleb begged him to leave Travis alone. He then offered the bastard a deal. Take him instead and leave Travis out of his dark world.
 
That still didn't make it right and defiantly didn't make him feel any better. He didn't care if his father raped him, what his brother did was worse. Travis could hadn't the beatings and raping when he got older but finding out that his brother let himself go through more hell was not right even to save him. He would have rather had his brother "You can't make a deal with the devil and expect him to be truthful" Travis told his brother trying to hold his anger back a little more but his brother didn't understand "That man was pure evil and you knew it as well. Do you really think that he held to your deal?" There were so many things that he wanted to say, so many things that his brother needed to know but it wasn't like Travis' word would meaning anything to him. "I needed my brother, I don't care what happened to me. I wanted my brother that was it" Travis got to his feet, he couldn't sit still at that moment.Travis paced near the table a little bit as he dipped into his thoughts once more though he was aware of everything in the room, even Lolita at the edge of the kitchen.
 
Kaleb looked at him anger filling his form and even his eyes brightened with the rage inside of him. "You have no idea what I went through doing this for you!! Everything I have done since we were children was to protect you! Remember when he wanted to show you something in the basement and I told you to hide? He had his friends down there and they took turns with me while he watched! I've done everything I could to protect you and keep you safe and All I get from you is resentment. I'm done with this crap!! Fine you hate me whatever, I can live with it! I can live you you hating me for leaving you to protect you from him. I left to find us a place and when I left he found me and raped me again and then told me how he was doing the same thing to you! Do you know how badly I hated making that deal! I had people stabbing me, carving their names into my skin and everything, all of that could have happened to you!! You want this?!" he had finally snapped and was yelling at Travis his anger was too much. He forced Travis to touch the scars to feel how rough they were even after so many years. "I had a hot iron rod pushed inside of me to keep you safe from the world he wanted to bring you into. You only scratched the surface and I wished that you had never had to experience it..." he said his anger causing his body to shake.

He pulled away and pulled at his hair a moment before just turning away. "Fuck this... You have the house, I don't care anymore. Why did I think I could come back when my own brother would rather see me dead," he said walking out of the kitchen and up to his bedroom. He slammed the door shut before Travis could even react to him. He had NEVER been that angry. He had NEVER screamed in utter rage. He had cried before and he had whimpered but he never showed his anger.
 
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