BARE BONES EDITING SERVICE - For authors, bloggers, ficcers and more!

[Astaroth]

Bare Bones Editing Service, #CC0000

Let me flesh out your writing!

My name is Erik Osbourne Ehrhardt, and I am offering my services as a freelance editor. I am not a professional and so will not charge professional rates. I am, however, competent and experienced as an amateur writer/editor and would like to think that my services are on par with professional quality. My writing skills have been honed over more than fourteen years of dedicated practice and study. I am an administrative assistant on Iwaku Roleplay, where I manage the site's writing workshops and guides (several of which I have written myself) and give feedback or advice to members. I have edited (or been a "beta" for) fanfiction in the past, and I currently edit blog articles for Moxie Lifestyle. I would like nothing more than to help aspiring writers improve their work, bring out their hidden talent, and advance their careers.​

What I will do:

- Fanfiction. Fanfic editing may be offered free of charge or at reduced rates depending on the fic in question. Contact me with details.

- Original fiction for self-publishing, i.e. on a site such as FictionPress, a personal writing site, or self-published e-press. Fees/methods of payment may vary from my listed rates depending on method of publication.

- Erotica. I have no problem editing adult material!

- Blog/web articles and newsletters.

- Visual novel text or game dialogue for independent games. I would love to be involved in this kind of project but absolutely must be credited.


What I will NOT do:

- Poetry. I will, however, proofread your poetry for grammar and spelling errors free of charge.

- Original fiction for major press publication. At present, I do not have the wherewithall to be a major publication editor and I advise you to seek a professional publication editor instead.

- Screenplays.

- Assignments for any level of schooling. If I find that you have used my services for a school essay or writing assignment, I will report the incident to your school and refuse you any future service.

- Plagiarized works. If I find that you are submitting someone else's original text, you will be blacklisted as well.

- Any material that I find offensive. I reserve the right to decline any client if I personally object to the content of their work.

- Ghostwriting, i.e. writing under your name. While I do not necessarily object to the practice, this is not the type of service I am interested in providing.


If you are seeking editorial services for something that falls outside of this list, feel free to inquire.


What I expect from you:

- Be open to criticism and suggestions. I will respect your vision and your work, but in turn I ask that you respect my advice. It is not my intention to be mean or unfair. As your editor, I want to make your work shine. Remember, the final decision is always yours and you may ultimately reject any changes that I make.

- Keep in contact. This is not as important for a one-off article or short story job, but for ongoing or long-term works I will need to be able to reach you. If you know that you are going to be unavailable, let me know ahead of time; I will do the same for you. It is up to you whether we communicate solely via email or through Skype as well.

- Send all manuscripts and drafts as direct email text or in a file format that is compatible with Microsoft Word. If you have difficulties with or limitations concerning certain file types, please inform me.

- Be able to make payments via PayPal. As much as I'd like to offer services otherwise, this is the safest way for me to handle payment.


You may choose one of the following services:

$1.00/250 words - Basic copyediting. I will proofread and edit your material for spelling and grammatical errors or typos. You will recieve an explanation for all corrections.

$5.00/250 words - Standard copyediting. I will make adjustments or suggestions for consistency of your writing style/voice and awkward phrasing as well as grammar and spelling.

$10.00/250 words - Heavy copyediting. I will rewrite portions of your material, cut portions of text, and make changes to improve readability, tone, and focus. I will also point out factual errors. All changes made will be explained and further suggestions may be offered.

$20/hour - Developmental editing. I will work with you through every step of the creative and editorial process. In the case of fiction: You will recieve input on plot ideas, character development, and story elements as well as the written material. For non-fiction: You will recieve assistance in fact-checking, research, and obtaining resources. As this will be an extensive undertaking, I will also help with organization and will expect to have weekly conferences with you in order to ensure that we keep on task.


How you'll pay:

2500 words or less - I will expect upfront payment.

2500-5000 words - You may pay upfront or a payment plan may be negotiated depending on your word count and situation.

5000+ words - Works that currently total or are expected to total over 5000 words will automatically qualify for a payment plan.

Developmental editing - Fees will be charged at a monthly rate depending on the number of hours spent on the editing process.


If you are requesting a payment plan, we will discuss the terms when you give me your word count or estimate.


Below are samples of my editing work.

Standard copyediting sample, #CC0000

EDITORIAL NOTES

The sun's light washed across fields of rippling grass. The brass disc was set on a canvas of gentlest blue. Its light danced on the world below it to the music of the wind as it blew through the trees. The ground was firm and covered with green. The dew was fresh and it glittered in the morning light.

I really like the description here (especially the brass and canvas metaphor), but I feel like these sentences are a little choppy. You want your very beginning to be really tight. I'd maybe rephrase these a little into two or three very strong leading sentences, or cut something out.

The day was beautiful as any, yet its shoulders carried melancholy heavier than mountains.

Scratch that. This should be your leading sentence. That sentence catches my attention all by itself.

Remember, a paragraph has one central supporting idea that should be included in one sentence. The other sentences expand upon that idea and/or offer evidence toward it. For an opener that hooks your reader, leading with your supporting idea is usually a good bet.

I won't give you too hard of a time about using the notoriously cliche weather description as an opening, though. In this case, weather is actually thematically important to the story. :]

His world was in the sweat on his brow; in the ache in his arms; in the shovels of dirt that he tossed into the ditch in front of him.

Semicolons aren't meant to be used like this. A semicolon separates two complete-but-related ideas. You'd properly use a comma here because you're listing parts of a single complete idea.

Pretty turn of phrase, though. Good use of repetition for emphasis.

This, however:

The day was beautiful as any, yet its shoulders carried melancholy heavier than mountains.

...yet the day's beauty was lost on him.

That's not so great an example of repetition. It reads like you forgot that you just used those words with only an indentation and a sentence in between.

You get back to the good kind of repetition in the next paragraph. However, you might want to watch your comma use lest it turn into comma abuse. Take a look at the last two sentences of that paragraph in particular:

His parents, they told him, had always wanted a child. The gods they'd thought had abandoned them, it seemed, had answered their supplications.

You're using the exact same sentence structure twice in a row there. You're also using a lot of qualifiers. Don't be afraid to make definite statements; definite statements have more impact.

That seems to be a running theme throughout your writing here: Your repetition wavers between poetic and, well, repetitive, and you give a lot of unnecessary qualifiers such as "seemed" or "appeared to" or "he felt" or "he'd been told". Now and then those are okay and give a better idea of the character's mindset, but overuse weakens your writing and can make your character seem wishywashy.

He'd grow up to be like them -- exiled and ostracised by society at large for wanting the love of another man.

Dashes are used to indicate that you're segueing into a different thought ("and on another note") or to conclude a long-winded explanation with an abrupt summary. Instead of the dash, you should probably use a colon or an ellipses.

I like the scene with Jack digging his father's grave. Very good use of emotion.

These oak trees would be together even when Jack was himself dead.

I'm pretty sure that this should be "Jack was dead himself". "Jack was himself dead" implies that he was himself when dead. You always want to use the adjective that "was" is qualifying first.

I've counted at least two sentence fragments at this point, but I'm fairly certain that's just your artistic license at work. If you would like me to point them out, I can.

While hisparents were happy, and Jack knew deep in his heart that they were, there always seemed to be dark clouds hanging over them.

Whoooops, you forgot a space. XD

Also, this is where using a dash would be appropriate, rather than commas. You could also use ellipses.

They were broken people, he realized. Much like himself.

This strikes me as an odd statement for two reasons.

1. We have not yet seen any evidence of him being broken prior to the death of his fathers, so this comes out of nowhere. I'm sure we'll find out why he thinks of himself as broken eventually, but you may need to build this up better first or just leave out this remark.

2. Since he's the child, he's the one who would resemble his parents. You should liken him to them, not the other way around.

Jack saw the farmstead derelict, the oak trees outside strong and tall, but the house itself was broken down.

This sentence gave me whiplash. You start off with a negative trait (derelict), then follow with a positive one without first contrasting it (the oak trees being healthy), then you do contrast (via using "but") with a negative statement (telling us about the house being broken down). It reads as if "derelict" is supposed to be a good thing. I would suggest rephrasing.

Inside was a pile of bones. Him. Where he'd fallen of either sickness, weariness, or old age and not been able to get back up. He imagined a weary traveler stumbling upon the home. What if that was the man meant to love him, only, far too late?

This part just confuses me. I'm not sure about whom you're referring to at any given time. When you say "Him", you're obviously talking about the "pile of bones", but is "Him" supposed to be Jack or someone else? It sounds to be another person, but the emphasis on "Him" denotes familiarity with the person being referenced, and yet Jack seems unclear on how the "pile of bones" got there. (I'm also not sure if "pile of bones" is literal or metaphorical.) And is the last sentence implying that the traveler might be the man meant to love Jack, or that the pile of bones might be? This entire bit may need to be clarified.

You need to be careful with the rambling style you've got going on. In places it works really well, but in others it comes out muddled.

That comma after "only" is unnecessary, by the way.

Jack placed his fingers to his lips and whistled a high-pitched four-note tune.

While you don't always have to separate adjectives with commas, this is one instance where it might be a good idea due to the dual compounded words.

The bit with the dog is cute, if a little abrupt.

Overall, you have a really good opening scene. It's a beautiful day, and our hero is burying his father. We get to see reflections of what his childhood was like, and we learn that Jack is alone because he's gay, as were his fathers. It's a good setup. You paint vivid images with the description and you definitely get across the right tone.

Sample used with permission from Malkuthe Highwind.

Heavy copyediting sample, #CC0000

BEFORE

One Week Positivity Challenge

You need more happiness in you life, or you're in a slump, or maybe you just like taking on challenges. Life isn't always easy and sometimes we have to take a step back and look at it in a new way. Sometimes we need to work on ourselves.

This here challenge is just a tool to use to try to be in your own body and be "you". It's not a commandment, nor is it the end all be all of how to feel wonderful. If this works for you repeat it again. If it doesn't try to pin point why.

Drink More Water. I know this doesn't seem to be related to positivity, but the mind and body and intimately connected and most people in modern society do not drink enough water. One trick to find out how much water to drink is to take your weight in pounds, divide it in half and drink that many ounces. If you drink any diuretics (coffee, soda, alcohol, juice, etc.) you will need to drink more. Also if you are in an environment where you're sweating a lot. Caution, do not drink more then a gallon of water in the day. Extra credit, add electrolytes like lemon slices or sea salt.

Turn Off The News Let's be honest here, the news networks and papers make money by sensationalizing the horrors of the world. Bad things happen, and no one is suggesting to pretend it doesn't, but much of the news you read or watch is bad entertainment. One week without the bombardment of information you can't work with will be a great stress reliever. If there is something going on in the world or locally you need to keep abreast with, ask trusted friend or colleges about it.

Take A Walk If you have an exercise routine that you follow regularly, you might not need this step. However if you don't or if it's all about weight training here's something to do. Go take a walk in a park or a quiet neighborhood for 20 minutes a day. If you live in an unsafe neighborhood, go to a mall. If you have social anxiety then turn on some music with a good beat and dance like no one is watching. Which brings us to the next point.

Turn Off The Rage Music If you listen to songs about killings and beats or loneliness and break up, stop. Make a play list of songs you like with positive messages or at least neutral ones. Instrumental music can work great in this case when your music library is a bit aggressive. Also try music in languages you don't know.

Daily Affirmation Worry and doubt whisper to all of us. The trick is not so much not to listen, but to counter it was the right and the good. Better yet is to hit it before it has a chance to start. That's what daily affirmations are about. Self talk about the positive in your life. What makes you an awesome person. What you are working on in your life. Try not to tie your affirmations to your partner or your children. Also, write a list to help you. If you know meditation techniques, here's the time to use them.

Laugh It is said there is a group of Buddhist monks who start the day with laughter. Wouldn't it be nice to feel on the inside how those happy Buddha statues look? Even if it's forced, smiling and laughter releases endorphins. Watch a comedy. Pull out an old favorite comic. Laugh and smile, even if you don't quite feel like it and your day will be better for it.

Hug Humans are social creatures. We need touch from other people. If you are living with other people, try to hug them at least once a day. If you don't, try to see a good friend or trusted co worker for a hug. If that's pushing the boundaries of friendship and professionalism, a hardy handshake. Get some human contact! Pets are great and you should pet and love on them, but try to no forget human touch. Interact with those that make you happy.

Don't Talk To Stressful People This is the hardest part of the challenge and one you have to figure out the best way to do. Don't stress if you can't do this, that would defeat the purpose. If you live with people that stress you out or have to work close with them work on everything else, but if they're that chatty coworker down the hall that likes to gossip or that friend that always bitches about their life, cut contact with them. Don't get on the phone with them, don't go out to lunch or drinks. Any contact you have with stressful people try to keep it on task. Again, if you don't have an obligation due to your work requires you to interact with them or you live with them, do no contact them and let your voice mail pick up any calls from them. Don't even listen to the call, just skip it.

AFTER

One Week Positivity Challenge

Are you in a slump? Do you need more happiness in your life? Maybe you just like taking on challenges? It might be time to step back and look at life in a new way. We can't always change the world, but we can change ourselves.

Drink More Water. I know this doesn't seem relevant to positivity, but the mind and body are intimately connected and most people in modern society do not drink enough water. One trick to find out how much water you should be drinking: Take your weight in pounds, divide it in half, and drink that many ounces. If you drink any diuretics (coffee, soda, alcohol, juice, etc.) you will need to drink more than that. If you're in an environment where you're sweating a lot, you will also need to drink more. For extra credit, add electrolytes like lemon slices or sea salt. Caution: Do not drink more than a gallon of water in one day.

Turn Off the News. Let's be honest here, the news networks and papers make money by sensationalizing the horrors of the world. Bad things happen- and no one is suggesting that you should pretend they don't- but much of the news you read or watch is bad entertainment. Take a break from worrying about things that you can't help. One week without this bombardment of information will be a great relief to your stress levels. If there is something going on in the world or locally that you do need to keep abreast with, ask trusted friends or colleagues about it.

Take a Walk. If you already follow a regular exercise routine, you might not need this step. If you don't (or if your focus is simply on weight training), this is something you should do. Go for a walk in a park or quiet neighborhood for 20 minutes a day. If you live in an unsafe neighborhood, go to a mall. If you have social anxiety and prefer not to leave the house, turn on some music with a good beat and dance like no one is watching. Which brings us to the next point:

Turn Off the Rage Music. If you listen to songs about killing and violence or loneliness and breakups, stop. Make a play list of songs you like that have positive messages (or at least neutral ones). Instrumental music is a great alternative when your music library is a bit aggressive. You can also try songs in languages that you don't understand so that the lyrics don't affect you.

Take Time for Daily Affirmation. Worry and doubt whisper to all of us. The trick is not so much ignoring them as countering them with the right and the good. Better yet, hit them before they have a chance to start. That's what daily affirmation is all about. Talk with yourself about the positive elements in your life. What makes you an awesome person? What you are working on in your life? Make a list and write it down. Try not to tie your affirmations to your partner or your children. If you know any meditation techniques, here's the time to use them.

Laugh. I've heard that Buddhist monks start the day with laughter. Wouldn't it be nice to feel on the inside how those happy Buddha statues look? Watch a comedy. Pull out an old favorite comic. Laugh and smile, even if you don't quite feel like it; even if it's forced, this releases endorphins which improve your mood. Your day will be better for it.

Hug Someone. Humans are social creatures. We need physical contact and the sensation of touch. Get some human contact! If you are living with other people, try to hug them at least once a day. If you don't, try to see a good friend or trusted coworker for a hug. If that's pushing the boundaries of friendship and professionalism, a hardy handshake will do. Pets are great and you should cuddle and love on them, but try not to forget human touch. Interact with those who make you happy.

Don't Talk to Stressful People. This is the hardest part of the challenge and one you may have to figure out for yourself. Don't get upset if you can't do this because that would just defeat the purpose of the exercise. If you live or work closely with people who stress you out, ignore this and work on the rest. But if they're that chatty coworker down the hall who likes to gossip or that friend who always bitches about their life, cut ties with them. Try to keep any necessary contact minimal and on-task. Don't get on the phone with them, don't go out to lunch or drinks. If you don't have a work or living obligation, let your voice mail pick up any calls that they make. Don't even listen to the voice mail, just skip it. You don't need the toxicity.

This challenge is a tool for becoming one with your body and being yourself. The rules aren't commandments, nor are they the bottom line on how to feel wonderful. If it works for you, repeat the challenge. If it doesn't, try to pinpoint why.

See the edited article here at MoxieLifestyle.

Contact Me

Via Inbox Conversation
[email protected]
Skype: ossochanter

 

[LunarLavendula]

Colour me curious! I am currently developing a story driven game with a small team. We've been working on this project for a number of months, so while the focus is still heavily on building infrastructure and systems, having an editor would be a huge boost to the quality of our game later down the road. It may be a couple of months before I contact you for hire, but I wanted to let you know of my interest in advance.

I have a question regarding payment. Would it be possible to be a mix of both types of editing? For example, having a set time a week when developmental
editing takes place over skype, with a heavier focus on copyediting the rest of the time?

 

[Astaroth]

@Lacuna

I would definitely be interested in your project. For payment, it would be possible to set you up for a heavy copyediting plan and charge you additional fees for the developmental sessions as they occur. We can discuss more details when you're closer to the point of needing an editor. :]

 

[LunarLavendula]

Excellent, thankyou for the information! I look foreward to making use of your services in the future.

 

[chrono]

Hello I would like to get your help in a opening post for my rp that I'm setting up I'm not that great at getting my rp ideas off the ground because im partially handicapped I've the idea but I need help with the writing it out in a proper way that will attract others if I submitted a post 2 you would you help me while the idea would be mine the writing style would be yours I would never claim credit 4 that and would make sure your name is in the post for credit