Bands that suck at being Iron Maiden. EvePretty close. Listen to The Trooper a few times. Notice how much Iron Maiden kicks ass and you don't? That's because you used the wrong lyrics, wrong melodies, wrong phrasing, and accidentally forgot to sound anything like Iron Maiden. Hilary DuffYou could be more like Iron Maiden if you looked less like this: And more like this: Destiny's ChildIron Maiden's music makes me wanna kill something. Your music makes me want to kill myself. Subtle difference. Sum 41 You would sound like them if Iron Maiden got wasted and played their instruments as loud as possible. Actually, that would rock balls. Instead, replace "got wasted" with "were members of Sum 41". EminemIron Maiden likes to make each song sound a little different from all the others. Try it some time. Ashlee SimpsonThe only iron maiden you'll ever be is the kind that gets wrinkles out of clothes. Lose hope and give up. Maroon5Your music would be a pleasurable experience if I were extremely high and the volume control was turned on low and your CD was resting on a pile of condoms in my trash can. DahvJeez bitch, you're only ten. Quit music now so in eight years when I seduce you, you won't be a freaking nutcase. Just look what music did to Gwen Stefani. Gwen StefaniIt was downhill after the Don't Speak video. Nowadays Gwen wears so much makeup, she gives me a blowjob and a pot of gold appears under my balls. ShakiraDead on. You sound exactly like Iron Maiden. Good job. Oops, not Shakira. I meant Iron Maiden. NellyThere are several tricks Iron Maiden uses to make their music appealing. Here are a few you lack:- Key changes - Chord changes - Note changes - Beat changes - Tempo changes - Volume changes Basically, your music changes less than Napoleon Dynamite's underwear. 50 Cent Jack JohnsonTake the estrogen IV out of your arm when you write music. Avril LavigneI've never heard your music or seen you perform, but I doubt your concerts look like this: AshantiFirst, hire musicians who play real instruments and know how to sing. Then when you perform, turn your microphone way down. In fact, turn it off. Then go backstage, dig your face into a pillow, and sing until your vagina explodes.