Bands That Suck At Being Iron Maiden

I

Iliana

Guest
Original poster
Bands that suck at being Iron Maiden.

Eve
Pretty close. Listen to The Trooper a few times. Notice how much Iron Maiden kicks ass and you don't? That's because you used the wrong lyrics, wrong melodies, wrong phrasing, and accidentally forgot to sound anything like Iron Maiden.


Hilary Duff
You could be more like Iron Maiden if you looked less like this:
hilary_duff1.jpg
And more like this:
hilary_duff2.jpg



Destiny's Child
Iron Maiden's music makes me wanna kill something. Your music makes me want to kill myself. Subtle difference.

Sum 41
You would sound like them if Iron Maiden got wasted and played their instruments as loud as possible. Actually, that would rock balls. Instead, replace "got wasted" with "were members of Sum 41".


Eminem
Iron Maiden likes to make each song sound a little different from all the others. Try it some time.


Ashlee Simpson
The only iron maiden you'll ever be is the kind that gets wrinkles out of clothes. Lose hope and give up.


Maroon5
Your music would be a pleasurable experience if I were extremely high and the volume control was turned on low and your CD was resting on a pile of condoms in my trash can.


Dahv
Jeez bitch, you're only ten. Quit music now so in eight years when I seduce you, you won't be a freaking nutcase. Just look what music did to Gwen Stefani.


Gwen Stefani
It was downhill after the Don't Speak video. Nowadays Gwen wears so much makeup, she gives me a blowjob and a pot of gold appears under my balls.


Shakira
Dead on. You sound exactly like Iron Maiden. Good job.
Oops, not Shakira. I meant Iron Maiden.


Nelly
There are several tricks Iron Maiden uses to make their music appealing. Here are a few you lack:
- Key changes
- Chord changes
- Note changes
- Beat changes
- Tempo changes
- Volume changes
Basically, your music changes less than Napoleon Dynamite's underwear.


50 Cent
50_cent.jpg



Jack Johnson
Take the estrogen IV out of your arm when you write music.


Avril Lavigne
I've never heard your music or seen you perform, but I doubt your concerts look like this:
iron_maiden1.jpg



Ashanti
First, hire musicians who play real instruments and know how to sing. Then when you perform, turn your microphone way down. In fact, turn it off. Then go backstage, dig your face into a pillow, and sing until your vagina explodes.



 
D

Darkness

Guest
Original poster
New Iron Maiden albums also suck at sounding like Iron Maiden.
 
F

Fel of the Eternal Forest

Guest
Original poster
I'm with Dorkness on this one.

Otherwise, good post.
 
Preferred Character Gender
  1. Male
Genres
Fantasy, Horror and Sci-fi. I'll try basically anything though. I also love strange and unusual RP genre concepts. Different is good!
You guys are haters!



Oh wait...only good song on the album.
 
K

Karsikan the Berzerker

Guest
Original poster
I'm with Fel on this, I'm slightly terrified they're going the way of Metallica.
 

Blind Hemingway

A former executive or something.
Invitation Status
Posting Speed
  1. Slow As Molasses
Online Availability
NEVER
Writing Levels
  1. Adept
  2. Douche
Preferred Character Gender
  1. Primarily Prefer Female
Genres
Surrealism, Surreal Horror (Think Tim Burton), Steampunk, Sci-Fi Fantasy, Spaghetti Westerns, Mercenaries, Dieselpunk, Cyberpunk, Historical fantasies
Is Iron Maiden like the wife of Iron Man?
 
T

Tenchi-Roku

Guest
Original poster
She's in the zone, preach Ili preach.
 
K

Kitti

Guest
Original poster
Iliana doesn't have balls... xD
It was on Ninjapirate. Silly people.
 
K

Karsikan the Berzerker

Guest
Original poster
Good, cause we don't want you catching whatever that bitch has.
 

Torsty

Super Peace Busters Always Together, Forever!
That record with the tank on it was pretty awesome.
I even bought the LP-version, bitches.
Played it once....but the cover is 'uckin' huge yo!