Bad Puns

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heliacalRebirth

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I want to hear the baddest puns you all know, or ones you commonly use.

I'll start off with the only two that come to my head, this is a MtG pun so…

Whenever my friends say is it? We'll always point to each other and say "Izzet? ahhh I see what you did there".

And at my school the 3-D printer was being dumb and a part that was being held with velcro fell off so my friend said "Man, that velcro is such a rip-off"
 
Unfortunately, I am only good at making puns in the moment, so I can't just think of them off the bat ._.''

But I'm pretty good at puns hahaha ^^

Also, your school has a 3D printer?! D:
 
For those Mass Effect Geeks out there:

- Drell me about it!
- I love you Mordin you know.
- Turian to my next class!

For those Trekkie's out there:

- Khan even go there.
- I love living life for the Trill.
- Klingon me when you're upset.
 
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A man lost his entire left half yesterday.


But he's all right now.
 
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A man lost his entire arm and was taken to the hospital. The doctor walked in and the man asked him "How's it looking? Will they be able to reattach it?" The doctor shakes his head and replies "I'm sorry. We've kept your lower arm preserved but they didn't see your upper arm anywhere at the crash." Just then the doctor recalled something funny he'd heard on TV that morning and tried to suppress a chuckle, knowing it wouldn't be appropriate right now. The man notices and gets angry asking "I'm sorry, do you find this humorous?" The doctor loses it, laughing hysterically and pointing at the stub where the man's arm used to be. "No! If we found this humerus we wouldn't be having this conversation!"

:v
 
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I hate people who've got skeletons in their closets. I've always got a bone to pick with them.
Recently, woodland animals have been vandalising my property. It's bear-faced cheek, I say.
Mr Krabs is a really shellfish guy.
I recently caught wind of a clarinet sale.
With winter gone, I've noticed less people are giving me the cold shoulder and icy glares.
 
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*cracks open his book of terrible jokes*

"Do we have any giant sea monsters?" "Nah, we krakenlackin'."

"9-Voltron Batteries. Made out of nine electrified robot lions!"

I've got more but they escape me at the moment. But if this were about dirty limericks...
 
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Whenever I walk out of the room and say "I'll be back," my friend insists on replying with "I'll be Beethoven."
 
Pretty much any joke in the same vein as the one I'm about to tell are amusing puns. Living in PA gives an excellent opportunity to make this pun too.

"Have you ever been to Bangor?"

"Bangor? I 'ardly know 'er!"

Sadly, I never think to use it when the opportunity presents itself.
 
Judge Revan said:
*cracks open his book of terrible jokes*

"Do we have any giant sea monsters?" "Nah, we krakenlackin'."

"9-Voltron Batteries. Made out of nine electrified robot lions!"

I've got more but they escape me at the moment. But if this were about dirty limericks...
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I demand limericks. All of them.
 
DotA 2 because it's the best game in existence ever.

-It takes tree to tango
-Why was the Lord of Avernus kicked out of the mafia?
Because he was A Bad Don.
-Why did Kunkka end up in jail?
He used torrent.
-Antimage walks into a bar, there's no counter
-Dark Seer walks into a bar.
The barman says: "Why the long face?"
 
Friend: Colin was calling him stupid and threw a book at him


Me: Wow colon must be a real asshole. Full of shit, too.
 
Fijoli said:
LMAO I couldn't think of one but this made me laugh its one of the Worst puns EVER...not only is it bad...but it was Manifested into a tangible object XD

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This made me choke on my salad. Love it
 
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