Baby got back and the problems with that

[Esmeray]

First and fore most I would like to begin this with stating that I personally have no problems with girls that are curvy and thick. Notice how I did not say fat and obese as those are severe health issues that don't need to be glorified. And I apologize if that sounds offensive, but that's science and reality for you. Nah, I am perfectly fine with bigger girls with curves and a thicker build or body type. I actually had a few friends who had these builds, and I find some girls with these body types to be very attractive.

However I'm so tired of the media and pop culture being completely one sided about body image. The "Im No Angel" lingerie, while seemingly innocent, makes me feel horrible about my body type. I'm 5'1 and only 96 pounds, and I do not look as attractive or appealing as these girls. They talk about how they are not all just one size, an obvious attack on Victoria Secret's delusional body image ideals, but in reality all commercials or any commercial saying that these are models of all sizes infuriates me because it clearly isn't. The "I'm No Angel" brand is completely made up of girls that are of one body type: full and curvy. The Victoria Secret Models are all skinnier and the same cookie cut kind of body type.

Yes I understand that curvy girls got a lot of negativity because models and celebs were not curvy back then, but honestly what they are doing now isn't any different.

Two songs this year (or last year) that greatly got on my nerves were Anaconda and All About That Base.

Yes I know these songs are supportive for fuller girls, I still find it very belittling to girls who are not of that body type. Especially when Nikki is singing "Fuck the skinny bitches in the club". I find that highly offensive. Do these people not realize that some people cannot help the fact that they are skinnier than you? For example in my case I have a high metabolism that makes it harder for me to gain weight. A common notion that I found in both songs is that guys only like girls that are curvier and fuller. Again, how is that going to reach out to girls that are skinny and frail simply because they can't help that or were born that way? It's really a downer when I listen to these songs and given the impression that I wont be loved because I don't have large curves.

Maybe I am reading to much into it, or taking it to seriously, but it really has been starting to nag at me lately....

 

[Space Cowboy]

It's just natural backlash, hun. For years, decades, it was about being skinny. Small. Tiny. Waify. If you were curvy, hippy, had a large butt or a large bust without being skinny everywhere else, you were, well, to put simply, undesirable-- ugly, even.

We're now living in an era where, as far as pop culture is concerned, we're celebrating more than just the single body type you yourself was acknowledged as the only body type that could be accepted as attractive. And these girls that grew up as fat, chubby, or even "kinda husky" are now lashing back big time. Meghan Trainor, I bet, was a husky girl in middle school and got a lot of flack for it. Hell, she probably felt as ugly as you feel now, all because she was huskier than other girls. But now, her huskyness is what's considered in vogue, and she's riding that wave of popularity.

Truth of the matter, we shouldn't be saying one body type is better than another, or giving anybody any hate over how they look or how they're shaped. We're all beautiful, and somebody finds our body type out of this world levels of attractive.

You're hot, I'm hot, they're hot-- everybody's hot. Just do you, girl, and don't worry 'bout no one else.

 

[Gwazi Magnum]

[2] to everything Seji said.

But I also should add on that this is also the result of when you weaponize a movement.
It's something that's sadly happens with every movement working towards equality in some shape or form.
Weaponizing it makes it easier to motivate people, easier to recruit people, easier to get stuff done in general.
So naturally movements such as the one to make all people beautiful will weaponize themselves in order to reach the goal.
However, that also comes with the issue that once you win the fight you're still in fight mode.
Some people will know enough to then back down, but others will insist to keep fighting because it's what they know.
And this is where what used to be good movements turn into the villain. Shaming and discriminating against those they don't represent.

 

[Dervish]

Go back a few centuries and being fat was considered a sign of wealth and affluence and was greatly desirable. Then came corsettes and everyone wanted big ass, tiny waist. Then everyone wanted everyone to be super thin. Things kind of go in waves of cultural desire, not unlike fashion.

I also do want to point out that some obese girls (and men) are genetically predisposed or have a medical issue that makes them gain and keep unhealthy weight. It's just as easy to look at a fat girl and assume she's eating too much as it is a very skinny girl like yourself isn't eating at all. It's a two-way door.

Try not to let the cultural shift get to you, most of the stuff's aimed towards girls who have a few extra pounds and have been discriminated against for it their whole lives, it's kind of like the recent surge in popular support towards the LGTB community in recent years. It's easy to look at the whole not angels ad campaign and feel it's personally vindictive towards you, but it's really about saying that most modeling agencies and that have promoted unrealistic, as you've said, and unhealthy body imagery pretty much unanimously and that most women don't look like that, saying bigger women are beautiful.

An unfortunate side effect is that some news outlets and paparazzi rags are using this as an excuse to be vulgar and rude towards skinny girls such as yourself, and that's bullshit. You know who you are and you are comfortable in your skin, ignore the worst of it and tell yourself it's not meant for you, because it really isn't. There's lots of awful, shitty things in the media that are offensive, and if you find something particularly biting, just think of how fucked up and dark hearted the person who wrote it is and how fucking miserable they are. They don't know you and aren't worth your time.

As parting words, Nikki Minaj is pretty gross and she sells her body image like an over ripe tuna. She's basically a caricature of a human being, so her basically saying fuck you to a good chunk of her fans for daring not having basketball sized ass cheeks is a pretty good sign she's incredibly full of herself and probably delusional. Fuck her, is what I'm saying.

 

[Esmeray]

@Seiji
@Gwazi Magnum
@Dervish

Thank you you guys. You made me feel a lot better about, wish my boyfriend was just as considerate as you three ;-;

 

[Dervish]

Your boyfriend can go suck an egg. You're just fine the way you are!

 

[Kagayours]

I always interpreted the remarks towards "skinny bitches" in those songs as being directed towards girls who work to be skinny and then flaunt it. As many others have said, skinny used to be the "in" thing to be, so now this glorification of larger women is a backlash of sorts. They're talking down anyone who acts like being skinny is the best thing. But, since you weren't one of those people to begin with, you have nothing to worry about.

Just think of it this way -- are you skinny? Yes? Ok. Are you a bitch? No? Then you're not a "skinny bitch". Those lyrics, therefore, couldn't possibly be referring to you when they say that.

Edit: And this is coming from someone with a similar metabolism thing going on -- not to mention in the past few years I've started taking medication that revs that up even more and I actually have to be careful I don't become underweight. That said, I still love All About that Bass. I see it as a song about loving all body types, so that bigger girls no longer have to be shamed for their size. Instead, it's the girls previously doing the shaming that are getting their turn.

Edit2: Nicki Minaj is still a bitch, though.

 

[Gwazi Magnum]

wish my boyfriend was just as considerate as you three ;-;

This makes me have to ask.
Did this rant have an underlying cause/reason?

Did your boyfriend say or do something to make you feel bad over being skinny?

 

[Esmeray]

This makes me have to ask.
Did this rant have an underlying cause/reason?

Did your boyfriend say or do something to make you feel bad over being skinny?

Well the rant didn't have an underlying reason, but I was reminded about the fact that he has made several comments about how he likes fuller curvy girls like his ex girlfriend. He has made compliments about me body too though so I guess I have mixed feelings about it. ಥ_ಥ

 

[Gwazi Magnum]

Well the rant didn't have an underlying reason, but I was reminded about the fact that he has made several comments about how he likes fuller curvy girls like his ex girlfriend. He has made compliments about me body too though so I guess I have mixed feelings about it. ಥ_ಥ

Ok I see.

I can't say anything for sure there without knowing the context and such of when/how such things were said.
But I will say it's generally a bad idea to be making references/comparisons back to ex's, and that you shouldn't let a partners preference make you feel bad about the way you look.

In the end though your Partner has still chosen to be with you rather than with other girls regardless.
That's already a testament to how he holds and values you above the other girls out there.

 

[Kaddoc]

Personally, I like my womenfolk with a bit of meat on her bones. I really don't see what the big deal is with the skinny girls other than that's what they harp on if you're a Vegas showgirl or lingerie models to sell overpriced underwear That's just me.

Anyway, people become too fixated on the bullshit pop culture likes to ingrain into the minds of the masses. We let the culture and these elitist mindset of celebrity dictate what we like and don't like. Also hip-hip/rap or whatever the hell it's called now days is a bunch of garbage and as destructive to our minds as is reality TV. Call me old fashioned.

 

[Ashi]

You and I, we're kind of on the same boat. I'm average, average in every sense of the word. I have the most average hair color, eye color, skin tone, clothing size, height, weight.. you name the average, I'm probably there. I'm not skinny. I never have been. My mother wasn't skinny either. I've always had a complex though about being "thick" when every other girl around me, all my peers at school throughout the years, were thin. I've tried everything I could think of to slim out and nothing has worked for me. I came to find out that everyone has a weight that is right for their body type. What might be healthy for you may not be healthy for me or the next guy or girl. We're all different. For the most part, I've gotten past the desire to lose weight. I don't weigh myself at home, the only time I weigh in is when I go every six months to see my doctor for a check-up (or any time in between that I may get sick). I still try not to look at the scale, the nurse will just tell me whether my number is good or not. But my point is this: Whether the fad is to be skinny or curvy, what's in isn't what's best. Whatever is healthy for you is best. Besides, in the end, they're just songs. If they bother you that deeply, don't listen. = )

I feel I must say though that All About that Bass was initially written for Beyonce. =p